Alien
by xXShadow-KissedXx
Summary: Abby went through something that made her not want to talk, moving to Germany her whole world changes, she meets the boys of course. Can Bill help her come out of her shell? Wht happens when demons come bck and haunt. Tokio Hotel  suck at summaries  :
1. Slowly adjusting

**-Welcome to my new story :3 I shamefully gave up on Phantomrider, I didn't want to but it was tough writing with a character like that :] Hopefully this will be different, and I can keep it going? **

Alien

Chapter 1: Slowly adjusting.

Moving halfway across the world is never fun. Especially if you're not willing to talk about the accident, let alone talk at all. I used to talk nonstop, loving my own voice, I was even full of myself. Now when I looked in a mirror my voice caught in my throat. I was disgusted. Disgusted at my past, at myself.

When I woke up from my long slumber, my dad instantly put me in therapy. It was the worst decision he ever made, I refused to talk, refused to open up. And just like that, I became invisible. I was the weird traumatized girl sitting at the back of the class, the one they wondered about, but didn't dwell on it, because she was a lost cause.

I was the one who wore black to try to blend in; never really succeeding. Nobody thought I'd be able to stay quiet so long, with myself being the lead singer in a band. Well former lead singer. Do I regret not being able to sing anymore? Do I regret failing so many people? Of course I do. But this is what I need right now, I need the quiet. I had to soak everything in, and that I haven't came to terms with yet.

The weekend came too fast, and this was the big day. My dad thinks I should be in completely different surroundings, which is why we're moving. Moving out of the city is an understatement. Try moving out of the country! He's decided that he wants to take up a small business somewhere in Germany, he made it big with his own chain of restaurants, and now he wants to go international. I don't want to move though. It's like I'm going to have to be judged all over again when the students figure out I'm probably never going to talk.

Not talking again is okay by me, by myself not doing so is causing myself to save lives. I know it sounds drastic but I'm guessing you guys will figure out soon enough, and I'm not pleased about that. I'm a normal girl from Kentucky, who's life was thrown out of proportion.

Right now I'm changing in the plane bathroom. They said it wasn't allowed but my dad pulled something about me being 'special.' It hurt my feelings to no end that he would do that to me, but I knew he didn't really care about me. I was just unnecessary baggage of the past, or that's what went through my mind anyways. I knew he loved me, but most of the time he didn't act it. Like how he told the flight people that I was hard of hearing, or something dumb like that.

I stared at my reflection sadly, I hated my face. I was one of those girls with a low self esteem. It used to be different, before everything happened I knew I was beautiful, I loved compliments and I just loved my flawless face. I never wore my hair up anymore since I had a large scar going from my cheek to my hairline, it was pretty nasty looking. If I hid it with makeup you couldn't see it unless you looked for it. The side of my face was also destroyed, so I had to fix it with makeup.

I always wanted to cry looking at my appearance, but usually I just avert my eyes and smear on the lotion and powder, that's all I used for today. It's not like I needed to impress anyone, and it's not like I cared. My eyes were lifeless and held onto the past, if you gazed in them you could see the pain in their icy blue depths. My hair was plain, it fell in blonde straight waves stopping just below my shoulders. Everything about me rang innocent.

To other people they may even find me cute or charming, but in my eyes I'll always be disgusting. I knew what happened while others didn't, and I planned to keep it that way. I let out a barely audible sigh, I never trusted my voice, not even while I was alone. I started putting my makeup and random shirts in a little duffle bag when there was a loud bang at the bathroom door.

Whoever was making a loud ruckus was going to have to wait, because I didn't like rude people, not one bit. A few little knocks came then. "Could you hurry please? I think I'm getting air sickness." A weak voice came. Was air sickness even possible? I didn't think about it as I unlocked the door. I shakily walked out and a poor guy made his way in. He turned around once and his coal lined chocolate orbs gave me a silent thanks, I nodded in knowing.

I made my way back to the seats where me and my dad were placed next to, which I wasn't complaining about. I honestly don't know what I would have done if I had to set by someone I didn't know, I'm a wreck with new people. I had gotten the window seat, even though my dad said it wasn't a big dead, he's been pouting next to me for the whole flight here.

Dad sighed as I clumsily and noisily sat myself down in the seat and glanced out the window. I couldn't see the Atlantic anymore, which means we've made brilliant progress on our journey, we should be arriving soon. Who knew what Germany held for us and our broken family? Something good and pure hopefully, of that I could only wish.

My dad cleared his throat quietly and whispered to me. "How do you think you'll like it over there Abby?" He asks me these questions, hoping that I'll answer him. Always hoping. I gave a distant shrug. "Won't you please talk? I miss hearing your voice." He tried again. I just stared on out the window, looking at the sights. "It's been over a year, you need to find a better way to cope…"

Like he knew anything about coping, he's slept with who knows how many women and done some things that I had no clue he could be capable of. Of course the shrink said each people copes differently, so I had no business to shove my nose in. He copes by sleeping around as I cope by not talking. It's easier for me that way you know?

He tried in a happier tone, knowing I wasn't going to be talking to him anytime soon. "Anyways, you'll love it there! The house is huge, we've got privacy, a huge deck, and the neighborhood is super friendly." He paused to gather a breath. "I think starting school ASAP is a good thing huh?" I nodded. I was terrified of missing school to no end. He smiled and ruffled my hair. "That's my girl!" I cringed away from him, he was embarrassing me. He only chuckled and went to reading his magazine.

I was getting really nervous, the intercom came on and said we should buckle up for landing. A whole new living space felt not so good at the moment. I took long breaths to steady my thoughts, I didn't need a panic attack right now, and I didn't need to worry the crap out of my dad. I got my little duffle bag ready in my lap. I was being jerked around as we landed, wasn't the landing supposed to go smooth? They do in the movies, but not here in real life. This crap scared the shit out of me.

"Are you ready to start off fresh?" My dad asked me quietly. I nodded for his benefit, even though I'd so much rather live stuck in the past. That's where I'm happiest. I unbuckled my seatbelt and followed my dad and the long crowd out of the airplane. I grabbed my messenger bag and flung it over my shoulder, it was the only thing I had from my past. If my dad wanted me to start new, I refused to bring mostly nothing. A few diary's at the most, and a few favorite pictures. That's all I needed.

"Start walking towards the exit and wait for me outside will you? I'll only take a sec, I need to call the moving company to come pick up all our crap, and then rent a car." Dad smiled smugly at me. "I'm so sorry for leaving you alone for a little while, I hope it isn't too hard for you…" He trailed off being sincere. I flashed a ghost of a smile and turned to find the exit.

I kept my eyes on the ground and walked toward the revolving doors, I toyed nervously with my hair as I did so. I hated people looking at me. I probably walked with a hunch too, seeing as it killed me to stand up straight, it made me feel like all eyes were on me. And I hated that feeling.

Four very weirdly dressed boys cut in front of me, I knew they were guys by the way they held themselves. They all had huge sunglasses and hats covering their eyes, if I would think about it I might even say they were famous? "Mein schlechtes!" The one boy with baggy clothes exclaimed. And what made me want to crumble was when they all turned to look at me.

I think I was going to start hyperventilating! Me and people didn't go good together. Air caught in my lungs as they waited for my response. I crossed my index fingers and placed them over my throat, hopefully they got the picture that I didn't talk. "Deutsch verstehen?" The one with the long brown hair asked, he was pretty muscular. I think if he asked me if I understood him, one of the phrases I taught myself.

I let the emptiness settle over my facial features again, why couldn't they just leave me alone? I shook my head and kept walking. That's how we settle that one, I turned to see if they were going to follow me. They didn't. Instead they were talking to an older man and woman. Parents I presume. I was instantly feeling the loss of love, I missed my family and how it used to me.

I pushed back the tears and made my way through the damn annoying revolving doors, I would have gotten out of the place sooner if they weren't so fun! I went in circles about five times before I surfaced from the airport. I slouched on the side of the building waiting for my dad to arrive. I yawned and realized how tired I was, I was too wound up to sleep on the way here, so hopefully I'll fall asleep as soon as my head hit's the pillow tonight.

Staring down at my clothing choices made me believe that I fit in here, I wore nothing but black today, and it fit Germany. It was such a sad a gloomy day, pretty soon I knew it was going to start raining, because I could smell it. My converse were so worn and torn the bottoms were about to completely wear out, I needed a new pair of shoes. Shoes, makeup and clothes were going to be my new essentials.

A car honking pulled me out of my too girly thoughts and I looked up to see the face of my dad in a new shiny car. I didn't know the name of it, but it looked expensive! I hopped in as it started raining, I smiled faintly at my knowing.

"Buckle up." He said sternly. He always reminded me of that now… "Oh and the moving trucks are on the way, and you'll be starting school tomorrow." I was so fucking exhausted. I gave a faint thumbs up and let my head bang flat against the window, I felt myself dozing off but I didn't let myself. "And I'm going to try to set you up with a meeting at the school counselor, even though it's probably useless, you still need someone to communicate with Abbs." He sighed.

"We need to do something about your little habit there too…" He trailed off eyeing my cut up arms. He wasn't going to get me to stop that, cutting kept me going most of the time. If not that, there was my diary's. He laughed then changing the subject. "I cant wait to start getting settled, its going to be so great here…" And I just tuned him out, he didn't even care about my cutting problem, only about being the picture perfect family we once were.

I was a shred of happy as we pulled up to a giant fucking house.

**:3What do you guys think? Decent?**

**REVIEW : )**


	2. Hyper?

**So I'm loving this story :3**

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX**

Alien

Chapter 2: Hyper?

I slammed the car door on my shirt and it snagged, that's how my fresh start all started. Agreed it could have been worse, but still I find it ironic. The moving trucks were behind us and we were holding up neighborhood traffic, I smiled at the thought. I also cringed at the attention we were drawing on ourselves from being new here, almost like: American! Was stamped on our foreheads or something.

"Here." My dad practically slammed my whiteboard into my stomach while fishing around his pockets for a dry erase marker. I rolled my eyes, he hated how I didn't respond to people when they talked to me, he thought that was beyond rude for me. "Answer the moving men if they ask you anything ok?" I gave a simple nod.

I looked down at my Monster messenger bag and shoved my white board in it, and tucked away the marker in my front pocket. The moving men weren't going to bother me, because I was going to go off in my own little world and explore. We didn't have a gate to close ourselves in from the front of our house, I was a little iffy about that but it didn't take away from the view. It was marvelous.

I wondered how two people such as ourselves were going to occupy this, it was certainly going to feel lonely. The backyard was gorgeous though, it was giant and held a huge swimming pool! I've always wanted my own pool before, I guess this is one of the ups for moving. The back deck was huge, but I only thought so because of the pool. I already knew my dad was going to be inviting over tons of people for barbeques. I hated when he likes to be social, it about kills me.

I can see myself of a sunny day laying out and reading, enjoying the sounds of neighbor banter, or just the sounds of sweet nature. I'm a very mellow person, but that's only because I choose to stray away from people. I also enjoyed to lay out under the stars, it's a treat to get away from the hectic day. You have no idea how stressful it is to be me sometimes.

Well that was no fun, I didn't have a lot to explore. That is until the neighbors came flying out of their backdoor in many different directions. They were some loud ass people, I was going to have to get used to them, I already knew. I looked at myself, I was awkwardly standing in my backyard with two different bags crossed over myself. A duffle bag on one side and a messenger bag on the other.

I felt myself blush when I realized it was the exact same boy from the plane who had gotten airsickness! If this wasn't a coincidence I don't know what to call it. I couldn't believe it, I guess the world is really small. I could never get over stuff like that, it all seemed so neat in my head. Oh fuck! Not only was it the same boy, but I'm sure the group of guys who had asked me those questions! This was all too weird.

I was met with the same pair of coal lined chocolate orbs as earlier and a smile graced his lips. He slowly raised his hand and shyly gave me a wave. I bit on my bottom lip, not knowing what to do, so I decided to give a small wave back. There, that's normal right?

Thank god my dads loud ass self had to save me from possibly being talked to. "Abby!" He yelled from the gateless driveway. My head snapped up to him, but he was taking a look around our new backyard with wonder. He slowly walked over to where I was standing, next to the pool. "It's nice isn't it?" I nodded. "When do you think we should fill up the swimming pool? Soon huh? It's probably going to get a whole lot hotter too." I slowly nodded, that did sound like a good idea.

He started pulling me away by my arm. "You look ridiculous walking around like that, at least come take a look inside and choose a room!" He said cheerily. I nodded and followed him up the steps, ignoring the boys in their backyard who were probably looking at the new freaks anyways. I needed to stop thinking like that, not everyone was out to get me…

The backdoor led into a giant kitchen, words cant describe how giant it was. And then there was hallways going in every direction, I was going to get lost in here! The living room was on the other side of the kitchen, so at least I didn't have to go to far to get to the front door. I just ended up choosing the room closest to the necessities, which was a front door and kitchen.

My room was also giant, but I didn't really care to decorate things, I was most likely going to leave it bare. The walls were a light purple, which was great since it was one of my favorite colors. My bed was already in there, it looked like it belonged in there, it was huge looking. I opened up a door expecting it to by my closet, but guess again. I had my very own bathroom!

The closet was opposite the bathroom, next to my bed, why I didn't see it I don't know. But it was a huge walk in closet, I could fit a kangaroo farm in there or something! Does that even sound legal? It sure didn't in my ears! It all dawned on me too soon. I was hyper. I hated being hyper, because I never had someone to let out my energy with. This was going to be great, and my dad is certainly going to get a kick out of me.

I slowly walked over to my bed, spinning in small circles, I stopped at the foot of my bed and quickly took off my bags. I gently put them on my bed like they were very valuable. Like I said before only a few clothes and diary's. I rolled my eyes my dad was going to make me go shopping, I fucking hated shopping to no end.

I grabbed my whiteboard from my bag and retreated from the comfort of my room. I had to face the outside world, because the sooner I did that the sooner I could come n here and go to sleep. I couldn't wait. I don't think I've ever wanted to sleep so bad before in my whole life, and that's bad because usually I avoided it. Sleeping brought back memories I never wanted to think about. So right now, I didn't want them to spoil my day. I felt happy.

I clung the board to my chest and wrapped my arms stiffly around it. I made my way to the door, closing it silently behind me. It felt like a maze already, but I found my way once I made it into the kitchen. The backdoor was around here somewhere wasn't it? I faintly smiled as my hip ran into the doorknob. I poked my head slowly out the door.

My eyes bulged! Dad was talking to the neighbors, I was going to close the door, but I accidentally forgot my head was out and grunted loudly. He turned around with a shocked expression on his face, his eyes lit up. "Ah, Abby I was just talking about you!" Of course he was. "Well come on, don't be shy!" He turned back to the people. "She's a little shy." I rolled my eyes, I guess I wasn't the only hyper one.

"Hi you must be Abby!" A woman cooed at me, she had very black curly hair and was chubby in a cute way. "I'm Simone!" She held out her hand for me to shake and I wasn't going to shake it until my dad lightly pushed me forward. We shook hands, she had such a sturdy grip. "Not much of a talker are you?" I released her hand and shook my head.

"She don't talk, so don't take her behavior as rudeness." My dad stated happily.

The gorgeous boy with the chocolate eyes stepped up then. I swear he looked like an angel, he was pale and had a flawless complexion, slim and had choppy black hair with streaks of white in it. It would look cute spiked up. He gave me a nice bright smile and held out his hand. "I'm Bill." I couldn't help but notice the tingles I got as we shook hands. I faintly smiled and drew back a little. I wasn't going to get attached. His expression looked like I hurt him.

The boy with dreadlocks was next. "Tom." He stated. He looked like a gangster. I was too white to be saying all that. I almost snorted but caught myself. "Does it ever get hard not to talk?" He asked me.

Bill looked angry. "Tomi!" He exclaimed. "You cant just ask people that!" Bill looked at me. "You have to excuse my twin here, he doesn't really think before he talks. And you don't have to answer anything if it makes you too uncomfortable ok?" He smiled sweetly at me. I nodded. I liked Bill.

"Just a question." Tom clumsily muttered under his breath.

"Anyways!" The muscle guy with long brown hair stated. "I'm Georg. You _are_ the girl who we ran into at the airport right?"

"When did you guys see each other?" My dad asked. He was so nosey.

I rolled my eyes and wrote my dad a response on my whiteboard. _When you were getting the car and stuff._ I just nodded at the boys and pointed to myself, as if to say, yup, that was me.

Bill snorted. "I knew that was you." He smiled. "And I'm sorry for rushing you out of the bathroom, its just that I hate airplanes, they make me horribly sick."

I smirked but nodded, letting him know it was alright.

"Oh Abby!" Simone gushed loudly, I actually flinched. "Your hair is so pretty, is it natural? Or did you color it."

Tom rolled his eyes. "Sorry, she's obsessed with different styles of hair."

I smiled as I wrote that it was natural on my board and showed it to her. Everyone used to compliment me on my hair before the accident happened, now it's not as shiny and it's lost a lot of its volume. "You wouldn't mind if I tried out different hairstyles on you do you?"

Bill stifled a cough. I nodded quickly, I didn't want people that close up on my face, I didn't need them to see all the imperfections it held.

My dad started again. "She has this self esteem thing." I nudged him with my elbow, I certainly wasn't pleased with strangers knowing something about me, even if it's only a little detail.

"Most girls do honey, but an up-do can do wonders for the ego." She stated like she knew something.

I shook my head. Hair out of my face? Definitely not.

Bill grinned. "You'll have to ignore her, she's a hair dresser and she's always looking for guinea pigs to test things out on."

"Yeah, one time she did a roller set on Georg!" Tom bellowed.

I let out the faintest of snorts, because well Georg with curls? That was pretty hilarious sounding. My dad grinned at my mood, he was really happy to see me happy for once. But I knew that when I got alone and this mood wore off, I'd be back to normal tomorrow at the latest.

"You guys know it turned out great and don't deny it!" Simone tried to play it off.

Georg looked like he was about to die. "Aunt Simone, come on! Those curls ruined our show that night, my hair wouldn't straighten, and people made fun of me." He stated lamely.

"That was when I was still in hair school, mind you." She said back sourly.

Everyone busted out laughing, except me of course. I just stood there with my eyes glued to the ground, my whiteboard to my chest, extra tense. I nervously chewed on my lip waiting for everyone to end their moment of happiness. Something I was never going to allow myself to have.

When everyone died down my dad all too happily asked. "So, I was thinking…" I rolled my eyes, and Bill smiled at me. "How about you guys come by later for a barbeque? Just something to get me and Abby in the knack of things." His voice held hope. I quietly sighed, there he goes being all "Mr. Social butterfly" again.

"We'd love to." Simone chimed. "Wouldn't we boys?" They all chorused in yeses. Of course they wanted to come, I couldn't just have a peaceful day without my dad inviting someone over.

"Ah, but me and Tom are vegetarians!" Bill stated proudly.

"Which is a load of…"

"Georg!" Bill cut him off in haste.

My dad laughed, he probably found them hilarious. "Don't worry about it, Abby is a vegetarian too."

"Ah you are?" Bill asked intrigued. He sure did talk a lot. Wait, I was forgetting something. Oh yeah. Nod. He laughed at my expression, which made me blush.

"What should we do for you guys then?" My dad asked confused.

I wrote my answer down on my board. _PIZZA!_ I showed it to my dad as soon as the twins yelled it out at the same time. My dad was dying of laughter. "What? What?" Bill and Tom were stating. I showed them my board. They soon laughed too.

"You guys are missing out on some delicious animals… yumm!" Georg gloated.

_Taunting don't work on me :P_ I wrote on my board and showed it to him.

He smirked at me. "I think I like you Abby, I can see us getting along great." Georg stated. I quirked an eyebrow at him. "It's nice to be around someone who can take a joke, unlike _some people_ around here." He was clearly stating this towards the twins.

Bill snorted and laughed. "Whatever, I can totally take a joke!" He flung his hand on his hips.

"Bill."

"What?"

"You're _so_ gay." Georg stated in a hilarious tone might I add.

"I am n…" His voice caught in his throat. "Haha, woo! Funny, yeah." He stated with his voice void of emotion. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Like I said, these boys cant take a joke."

Wow, these guys were actually starting to give me a headache, but around them I felt happier. I wasn't going to push my luck just yet though, friends only hurt you in the end right? Well that's my story anyways. I have everyone dying to be my friend, I was practically famous in my school from my band _Raven_.Sounds like a simple name, but it held so much meaning for us. But as soon as I refused to talk people dropped my as friends really fast.

"Abby!" Bill chimed bouncing up and down. I looked up to meet his gaze. "How do you like it here so far?"

_I haven't been around here enough to actually like it, but Germany's alright._ I wrote and showed him.

"Ah!" He exclaimed. "We'll have to take you to the best places to shop, hang out, eat…" And he droned on and on. I just smiled and shrugged after he was done with his rant. He was most certainly the most interesting person I have _ever_ met.

"Do you guys have food for tonight?" Simone asked.

My dad smiled slyly back. "We still have to go out and buy stuff, but don't worry, I don't mind running out for a few things." He stated proudly.

I rolled my eyes. I don't even think we owned a grill.

"You want to come with me?" My dad asked down to me. I shook my head. I really didn't feel like doing anything at the moment, maybe I could even fit a nap in. "This is a good opportunity to buy some new things too!" He beamed. Poor guy couldn't take a hint.

_I'm tired. _I wrote.

"Ah, but you never want to sleep, why now?" He asked. I could see the expressions of the guys as they each gazed at me quizzically.

_Jetlag?_

My dad laughed. "It's better to go to sleep at a decent time instead of this early in the afternoon." What was it like 3 or 4?

_I could just nap while your out, seriously I'm super tired._

He sighed. "Fine." He scratched his stubbly face. "But when it's time for them to get here I don't want to hear any complaining alright?" He smiled.

I nodded.

"I cant wait to see you again Abby, it was a pleasure." Bill sang in my direction as he happily walked off towards his house with the rest of his family.

It was a very nice pleasure indeed.

My dad didn't speak until we were nicely inside. He exhaled shakily. "Whoa. Simone is a looker isn't she?" I gave a little sigh of my own, of course he was into her, just like he like every other girl in the world. "Well either way, what about that Bill kid? He seems to have it bad for you." He teased me. I hit him with my dry erase board. He laughed. "What?" He smiled as I walked away.

My dad left for the store, and he told me to get ready for tonight, so the only thing I did was throw on some short jean shorts and a long sleeved deep orange shirt. It wasn't really comfortable, but I didn't have any other clothes to work with. I silently made my way towards the center of the giant U-shaped couch in the living room and curled up in a tiny ball.

Sleeping in my room while no one was in the house terrified me sometimes, and this was a time I was frightened. I just normally didn't think about it, and well I was in a new place, and I couldn't help but to let my mind wander. The couch was super nice and comfy. I don't even remember if I thought about anything, because as soon as my wore out body hit the big cushion I was knocked out.

I sighed contently in my dreamless mind.

**:3 Hope you guys liked.**

**-So for Love and Death, how I had the stalker questions? I'm going to do something like that, except it's going to be "Can you guess the lyrics?" I'm going to make these a little easy first go around. And I'll give one hint, but no cheating please. **

**Hint: They used to play it when football came on :3**

"**Conclusions manifest, your first impressions got to be your very best, I see your full of shit and that's alright, I guess you'll get through every night, well now that's over…"**

**REVIEW :D**


	3. Smile Whydontcha?

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life**

-lpwriter4life was the only one who got the song :3 It was Trapt- headstrong

Alien

Chapter 3: Smile Whydontcha?

I hated how my dad could be social and I was stuck in a fragile state. I was terrified to death of talking! Anyways, I didn't want to wake up from my slumber at all, it was the only place I was free from my demons. You'd think I'd have nightmares, but once my head hit's the pillow I'm free. I've never once had a nightmare about that horrible night, and of that I'm glad. I don't think I could ever relive that shit, and if I did, I don't know how I would handle it.

I was most definitely not looking forward to company. I mean would it kill my dad to allow us some peace and quiet for once? I mean he knows how much I need quiet. Sometimes I get these real bad headaches or blackout from the noise. I know that seems drastic, but my doctor told me it's a repressed reminder of the past and it makes noise overpowering for my senses.

There are too many things wrong with me. You'd be better off just making fun at me from a distance, so then you can save yourself the heart ache. But that's just how I've learned to live with things. It's so much easier if I don't have friends, even though I find myself wishing otherwise. Would anyone want to be the quiet girl's friend in the first place? Things were about to change for the better I guess.

I was currently helping my dad slice up tomatoes in our giant kitchen. I swear one missed step and you might get lost through the floors. We were going to be preparing salads to start everyone off. I mean food is food, why do we need 3 courses? I guess it's a chef thing or something, but whatever makes him happy. And I don't mind to help, it takes my mind off of everything.

"Do you mind finishing up the salad bowl while I toss some steak and stuff on the grill?" Dad asked me. I only shrugged, I didn't mind. I wondered if he realized how much I enjoyed being this close with him? It almost reminded me of the old times when I helped him out in the kitchen. He gracefully pounced outside, sticking food on the grill and watching it simmer.

I sighed, but tossed the salad. Who knows, maybe I can get the fresh start my therapist was talking about. She would say getting away is the best therapeutic way to heal internally. I don't really feel any different, but you know, I guess the shit I've been through takes a while to finally get over.

I wish I could have slept longer than I did. Only sleeping for about an hour and a half doesn't really do anything for my body except maybe make me even more tired. Is that even possible? Who knows. I'm going to hate life tomorrow when I'm going to be forced out of bed at 6! To go to school where people will make fun of me, I cant wait.

"They're on their way!" My dad bellowed through the open window. We didn't have air conditioning yet, and I was sweating, but not too bad. The long sleeves were killing me, but I didn't want them to know about the cuts. I didn't want them to know about me at all. I wanted to just be left alone… no I didn't, I wanted friends…

Knocking on the front door took me out of my ferocious thinking. "Answer it!" My dad whispered quickly to me. I rolled my eyes, all he wanted to do was impress Simone. All it was, was another notch on his bedpost. And I'm silently hoping that she wont give in to him, she seems so much better than that.

I scurried my way to the living room, tripping on my own two feet of course. I was making a fool of myself and they weren't even in here yet. My body harshly connected to the door, making a loud thump noise. I quickly picked myself off the ground and dusted my bare legs off and adjusted my shorts. I knew I was blushing madly when I opened the door to let in our guests.

They looked like they didn't know whether to crack up at my ruffled expression or to just play it off and pretend like nothing happened. Tom was smirking like crazy, and trying his hardest not to laugh.

"Hello dear!" Simone cooed wrapping her arms around me in a giant hug. I just kind of stood there and awkwardly patted her with my right hand. "Where's Max dear?" She smiled her sweet smile down at me as her black curled bounced around her chubby face. God she was gorgeous. I faintly smiled and took hold of her hand and led her towards the kitchen where my dad was found.

"Abby!" Bill bounced behind me. "Do you have personal space issues?" I shook my head, I didn't. He blushed a bit. "Good!" He gathered me up in a giant hug, lifting my small frame off the ground and twirling me around. "You are adorable! And I just love the color of your shirt!" His brown eyes sparkled.

I held up a finger telling him to hold on a second, as lame as it sounds, I wanted to make sure the salad was going good, since dad was hanging out with Simone. Sometime I had to be the adult around the house. Everything looked good. Grabbing my dry erase board I followed Bill out into the front room where everyone waited for us. I was indeed nervous.

Bill sat down happily next to me and linked his arm through mine. Clingy much? But I didn't mind, I loved his warmth. He gave me introductions to everyone, even though I've met them all but one. "As you already know they are Georg and Tom, and if you're wondering that's Shilo, Tom's girlfriend."

Shilo gave me a great wave and smile, she was so gorgeous. She had long dark hair, beautiful brown eyes and killer curves. She had on a pair of jean Capri's and a snug purple shirt. I wish I had those curves, I couldn't get over how pretty she was. "Hey Abby! You're so pretty!" She gushed.

_Not as pretty as you of course :P _I scribbled down. At least I had pretty handwriting, but that's about all I had going for me.

"Don't you dare talk like that!" She said. Shilo sounded like a very straightforward person, and I admired that about her. I love honest people, its better than the ones who lie to make you feel better. "Everyone is gorgeous in their own way, and that face is stunning."

I blushed. _Thanks._

"Oh god, change the subject hurry!" Georg wailed. He saw my confused expression. "Once she gets started she never stops."

I faintly smiled, my mom used to be like that.

Tom butted in this time. "You guys don't even get started."

Bill snorted. "Shilo and Georg are always getting into it with the weirdest things!" He then launched into a story about one time when Georg was stuck in a ditch and couldn't get out. "Shilo wouldn't help him out, and all hell broke loose! I came home one day from school, and took a nap, when I woke up Georg had left me so many texts about how he got in the ditch, and he needed help out."

"Must we bring up the 'No one believes Georg that Shilo totally pushed me in the ditch' incident?" Georg asked, already sounding wore out.

"Just trying to lighten the mood." Bill laughed.

"Anyways!" Shilo switched the subject. "Is your hair naturally blonde?" I nodded. "It's so pretty!" She thought of something else to say but Georg started before she could.

"So Aunt Simone says you come from the states, what's it like there?" He seemed genuinely interested. And the rest of the crew chorused that they wanted to know too.

_Well the US is definitely interesting, but I guess it's where you decide you want to visit._

"Where are you from?" Bill asked, giving my hand a light squeeze.

_Louisville._

"Which state is that in?" Shilo asked. This feels funny, I've never talked about where I'm from and stuff like that.

I smiled faintly._ Kentucky. It's not all that great, but it's home._

"Aw! You are so cute!" She exclaimed at me. It may seem weird, but I felt an odd attraction to her, it's like I knew her or something. "I myself am from Australia." She beamed. I knew she wasn't from here, I just couldn't place her accent.

_How long have you been in Germany? _I wrote for her.

She thought it over in her head. "About 10 years probably." She leaned her head on Tom's shoulder and he leaned into her touch, they were cute.

"What do you have to do for fun here?" Tom asked.

"Tomi!" Bill exclaimed. "You are so rude!" He tried swatting at his twin, but failing since he had me and Shilo to try to get over.

I rolled my eyes. _We have nothing since we just moved in. Haven't even been to the store yet._

"What kind of things did you bring from the States? I'd love to see some stuff!" Georg asked excitedly.

_Well I didn't really bring anything… uhm this couch?_

Georg laughed. "Of course silly! I was talking about maybe stuff Germany don't have."

_I'm not sure :P_

"Tell us about your old school and your friends, I bet you miss them." Bill asked me sweetly. He was definitely the caring one out of the bunch.

_School was ok until I stopped talking, then it was awful. And my friends suck._ I guess I could clue them in a bit.

"So you used to talk?" Tom asked. Bill looked like he was about to lash out at him again for being so abrupt towards me, but in all honesty I didn't mind.

_Yeah._

"What made you stop talking if I may ask?" Shilo decided to chime in when the others didn't, because they knew they crossed some boundary but she wanted to finish it.

_Things happened._

"What kind of things?"

_Don't want to talk about it._

Tom nudged Shilo. "She don't want to talk about it, leave the poor girl alone."

"Sorry." She muttered. "Caught up in the moment of asking questions I guess."

_Don't worry about it._

"You should put a smile on your face." Bill said to me.

_Nah._

"Why not?" He asked with a sad face. I just shrugged. "What if I tickled you?" He said with an evil glint in his eyes.

_I would hate you forever._

"Forever?" He echoed. I shrugged. His face fell. I mean its not my fault I'm not really a people person.

"Hey Abby!" Shilo sang towards me. "We should definitely hang out sometime."

_What are we doing now?_

She actually laughed. Not one of those tiny laughs, but she seriously thought I was hilarious. I sat back and leaned against Bill, who threw his arm around me and pulled me closer. I waited for her to calm down to give me an explanation. She was gasping for air.

"Well I know that!" She said playfully. "I mean like have a sleepover or something?"

I actually snorted at my slowness, and I caught a hint of a smile on Bill's face out of the corner of my eye. I knew he was happy at my progress. _Ah! Of course, sometime soon?_

She smiled happily. "How about this Saturday?"

_Sure._

"Aren't you going to have to ask Max?"

_Doubt he'd care, and he'd probably be away at his restaurant anyways. it's a full time thing almost you know._

She sighed. "I know how you feel, my mum is always away doing her thing, and my dad left us a long time ago. Being alone is awful, so if you ever need a friend give me a ring?" She busied herself in her purse. "Got a cell?"

Despite my not talking and all I did have one. I handed it over and she slowly placed her number in there. The dumb thing could get a bit complicated after all. And of course after she gave me her number, the boys all had to too. They were tapping away at my screen and taking pictures of themselves. I rolled my eyes, they were something else.

"Here, take your picture with me?" Bill asked innocently. I really hated taking my picture, because I always hated my image, but how could I say no to that face? I nodded and put my face next to his, and I even smiled. He looked down at our picture and smiled. "Were sexy!" He beamed.

My eyes lit up with excitement, he was hilarious. I looked down at the picture and sighed. But I guess it would do. Simone noisily bounded through the walkway to the room and almost tripped.

"Whoa, that made me feel like I was going to fall!"

_I'm sayin!_ I wrote on my board. Everyone cracked up, since I verified I did fall earlier on the door. My knees were a bit red from carpet burn when I scraped it being clumsy.

She playfully rolled her eyes. "Max said the food is ready." Smiling she backed into the kitchen.

I silently got up and walked my way slowly to the kitchen. It may be a little rude to leave them behind, but I felt a bit confused right now. Like if they were my friends or not? The way they were talking they were. I let out a quiet sigh and took my place at the table. Bill plopped noisily down next to me, holding onto my arm for support when his boot got caught on the table leg.

I cracked a giant smile. He smiled at me. "Ah so you smile when I'm about to go down?" He laughed.

_Something like that : )_

"Glad to know I amuse you." He laughed.

Everyone got quiet as my dad placed the food on the table. I'm guessing he forgot about the pizza for me and the twins, so we're probably going to be stuck eating only salad. I didn't mind, it tasted refreshing. And everyone needs a good dosing of vegetables once in a while. I placed my board in my lap, marker next to my plate.

"Tell us about how you got here." Georg asked. I'm guessing he loves hearing stories about traveling and stuff. I love to travel, and sightsee.

"Well, our therapist thought it was a good idea to finally change scenery, and I couldn't agree more." Oh hell, my dad let the truth slip too much, even though the therapist said truth heals all. I didn't like the feel of having everything out in the open.

"Oh yeah, therapy is always tough." Simone soothed away any of the awkward. But brought it back when she started talking to me, I mean it was unintentional. "So Abbs, what did you like to do in your free time."

I went to grab my marker when my dad answered for me. "Well when she could, she would always practice with her band, what were you guys called?" He thought for a second. "The bird?"

_Raven._ You idiot! Some dad he is, to not remember his daughter's band.

"Yeah! Raven. Anyways, they were pretty good before all the crap with…" I cocked back my leg and kicked him as hard as I could with my converse clad foot.

"Oh damn!" Simone shouted with all her might. My eyes grew huge, oh fuck, I missed my dad. "Bill you little ass!" She exclaimed in pain.

Bill looked alarmed, while Tom found it funny and snorted. "What is it?"

"Oh don't you play dumb." She stated. "Keep those boots to yourself got it?" Bill nodded confused. "You'll have to excuse my son, he's usually well behaved." She tried to rub away the pain I had caused her in her poor little leg.

My dad gave me a knowing glance, he knew what I was trying to get at.

"So tell me about your band!" Exclaimed Tom.

_Well we were pretty unique. Our scene was Rock, and we were getting pretty popular, we even had someone wanting to manage us! But eh, I couldn't do it anymore, so they replaced me._

"Oh jeez, they sound like jerks." Bill stated. "As long as you were having fun in the process am I right?"

I nodded slightly. He was most certainly right, and I never thought of it that way. I'm glad he shined some new light on the way I thought of things.

"Boys, tell her about your band? If she hasn't already heard about it?" Simone cut in.

Bill smiled hugely at me. "Have you ever heard of Tokio Hotel?" I thought it over, they did sound very familiar. And it dawned on me, I knew they looked familiar.

_Ready, Set, Go! Monsoon?_

Georg laughed. "Yeah that's us! How come you didn't say you were a fan sooner?" He asked excitedly.

I rolled my eyes. _I'm not really a fan sorry :P But I've clicked around and saw a few music videos before._

"Hey, isn't Tokio Hotel the people you had me film that week while you had orientation at school?" My dad blurted his big mouth.

I felt my cheeks tinge pink.

"Nothing to be ashamed about if you are a fan." Bill comforted me.

_I just wanted to see what you guys were all about._

My dad chuckled. "And you had better of liked what they were about, since you made me sit there in front of the TV for an hour a straight for a week filming for you… I was so sore from not moving!"

_I'm not a fan._

Bill laughed. "It sure don't sound like it." Well I hate to break it to them, I really wasn't a fan, I just didn't want to miss out on TRL and stuff, but there's no convincing anyone.

I slouched down in my seat. "Slouching isn't ladylike dear!" Simone scolded. "It'll make you have bad posture when you're older." I glanced at Tom whose sitting stance mirrored mine but worse.

_Back problems, cant sit up straight._

XxX

Lets just say dinner wasn't all that horrible and it made me realize I had made new friends. Shilo could be my girl best friend, and Bill could be my guy best friend. Now all it took was a bit of time to get myself used to the thought of it. And the scary part was, I think I'm ready to have friends, and start off my life anew.

I found myself giving everyone a giant hug on their way out, but it didn't stop the loneliness I felt when they were gone for good. It want enough to go to my razor, my habit was going to have to stop, but I knew it wasn't going to be for long, I always came back to it.

Speaking of new things, I was dreading tomorrow, but it was something I couldn't stop. My first day of Junior year was about to start and I was scared out of my mind. I figured out that everyone but Georg goes to the high school up the road, he was only here visiting for the weekend. I admit the school halls are going to be bare without his loudmouth there.

Shilo was in a grade lower than me and the twins, but I couldn't wait to see her again. Things were finally looking up and it felt great. Its good to forget my past for once and live in the present.

Hopefully tomorrow isn't as frightening as I make it out to be in my head.

**? You like? I'll warn you all its not going to get too happy, since she has a dark past.. But we'll see where it goes from here, eh?**

**LYRICS :D [I copied and pasted, I don't know how well the FF site will lay them out on there, but here ya go :D]**

**Like memories of dying daysThat deafen us like hurricanesBathed in flames we held the brandUncurled the fingers in your handPressed into the flesh like sandNow do you understand?**

**REVIEW! :D**


	4. Procrastinator

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life**

-Shaker10 got the song :3 Rise Against- Savior

Alien

Chapter 4: Procrastinator

"Hey Abby?" I heard my dads hushed voice from my slightly ajar bedroom door. I didn't move, maybe then he'd forget and leave me alone. I was exhausted, I only needed about a few more hours of sleep. His soft footsteps came closer and pretty soon I felt the bed shift as his weight settled down. He shook my arm gently. "Sweetie it's time to get up for school."

I popped my eyes open slowly, I was still groggy with sleep. He smiled at me, knocking some of his dark hair out of his eyes and scratching his scruff. "You're friends are here." He stated, not knowing if I'll be mad at him or not. I nodded and threw my head back on my pillow. I just wanted to go to bed. He snorted. "And that's why I invited them over, so when I leave for work, you leave for school." He gave my exposed leg a good smack before leaving.

Hurling myself up and out of my bed I peaked my bed head around the corner to the living room, and Bill and the gang minus Georg was sitting around my couch. Bill caught my eye and waved and gave a great smile. I huffed and spun back in my room, he was a fucking morning person, just what I need. Cue sarcasm.

I brushed all the tangles out of my hair while heating up the curling iron. I've decided that I wanted to put a few random bouncy curls in my hair; Simone was my inspiration to do so. I envied her gorgeous curls. I threw on my favorite Cinema Bizarre shirt, it was a tight black short sleeve. Today was going to be brutal, so I didn't really care about concealing my cuts. I covered my scar on my face and put on eye shadow, mascara and eyeliner and I was done.

My eyes were my favorite part of my face; they were a shy blue color. I tried to put a few curls in my hair but it wasn't working out for me. So I just ended up brushing it out and having random poofy parts in my hair. There has to be a way that I can work this out. I was twisting my hair in all kinds of directions and letting out angry sighs, it is too damn early for this.

A small knock came from the doorway, a smug looking Bill stood there with his arms crossed. "Do you need any help?" He laughed. I nodded and held out the iron for him. He looked nervous, like he wasn't expecting me to let him help. "Uhm, lets see here." He fumbled around with t for a little bit. "I've never done this before!" He gushed.

I rolled my eyes and went to my room to look for my dry erase board. _You don't have to if you don't want to you know :P_

"I want to try and help you out." He smiled, linking our hands together and leading me back to the bathroom. I sat on the side of the tub with my feet on the inside. "Now how do you want it?"

_I just want a few random curls : )_

"Ok, I'll try." His expression looked torn as he tried to fix up my hair. I just closed my eyes and waited for it to end, because I think if I watched him do it, it might drive me crazy.

"You guys! Were going to be late!" Scolded Shilo as she bounded into my bathroom. She just stopped with an unreadable expression on her face, then she just busted out laughing. "Oh god, Tom you have to see this!" She tossed a teasing look at Bill.

I felt around on my head to make sure everything was in place. Nothing felt burned off. "Don't mess with it you'll ruin your hair!" Bill chided, knocking my hand away.

"What!" Tom huffed. Ah, he wasn't a morning person either, my respect for him just flew out the roof. He also stopped in his tracks like his gorgeous girlfriend did. "Bill, what the fuck?" His expression was great.

"Don't you 'what the fuck' me! What are you guys going on about?" Bill was frustrated and it made me desperately look in a mirror.

Shilo laughed some more. "You look so ridiculous holding a curling iron! And the fact that you probably have no clue what you're doing makes it funnier!" She was holding onto Tom's arm for support.

I huffed and got up, I was _so_ not a morning person. I took the iron from Bill and gently sat it down on the counter, it used to be my mothers. I glanced at my reflection. Hm, Bill didn't do that bad, it actually looked good. _Thanks Bill, I love it._

He came up behind me and circled his arms around my waist and leaned his chin on my head. "You really like it?" I nodded making his head bounce. His smiling was contagious and I couldn't help but to smile back at his reflection. "See smiling feels good doesn't it?" Which made me smile wider. What was it with this boy? He made me want to smile.

"I think you two need to get a move on! Were already going to be late!" Tom smirked at us like he knew something I didn't. I just rolled my eyes and went to find my bag. Shilo followed me.

"I cant wait to hang out with you! Should we go to your house or mine?" She was shyly playing with the ends of her hair, thinking through her plans.

_It doesn't matter to me, as long as we have fun._

She smiled. "That's what I'm talking about! Me and you, were going to get along great."

_What are we going to do?_

"I don't know yet, but I know it'll be fun." She laughed. "But I don't think I'm going to be allowed anywhere soon," Her voice changed from sweet talking to loud screaming. "If these slow ass boys don't hurry their selves up!" She yelled towards the bathroom. "Who knows what their doing in there. Weird boys." She muttered quietly to me.

Bill rushed out looking confused and like he was caught doing something, and Tom just looked highly satisfied. "Ready?" Bill asked me with a brilliant smile.

I nodded.

It was time to get this day over with.

XxX

We were late. No not a few minutes late, but a whole hour late! I wanted to cry right there, I'd rather not go at all than to be late. I hated all the stares it would gain. Hm, but then again I am a new kid, so I'd be getting stares regardless. So it could always be worse. We all had to go to the attendance office to get little white slips, and my schedule was in there too.

"Oh I just hope we'll have classes together Abbs!" Shilo said as we walked into the Attendance office. They gave us death stares telling us to be quiet and that there was no talking in the tardy line.

I laced my fingers with Bill's, I was terrified! I showed him my board. _Come with me to ask about my schedule, please?_

"You sound a bit scared, but sure." He looked at Tom and Shilo. "We'll be back, were just going to go over here for Abby's schedule."

"No talking in the tardy line!" Bellowed a very manly looking woman. Shilo just rolled her eyes and flipped the woman off behind Tom. I cracked a small smile at her.

My grip on Bill's poor little hand tightened as we made our way to the back of the room to an older lady. "May I help you all?" She seemed sweet enough. Her name tag read: Mrs. Carti.

"Ah yes," Bill started off, he was such a gentlemen. "She's a new student, and needs her schedule." He motioned towards me.

"Name?" She said impatiently.

"Abby, uhm…" Bill stuttered not knowing my last name.

_Abby Baker. _I showed her my board.

"Ah, you're the student who don't talk!" It's like reality dawned on her. I rolled my eyes, hoping she didn't see, because I didn't need any office enemies. She didn't notice as she continued talking. "And don't worry all your teachers know about it, and hopefully they wont call you out in class. If they do, just go with it alright?" She said sympathetically. "And don't worry, you guys wont be counted as late." She winked. Bill returned the smile.

Bill yanked me to a table in the center of the room and pulled out a chair for me. I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Just sit, I have an idea." I complied and sat down. He comfortably sat next to me. "We wont be counted as late, so if you want we can hang out here for a little while?"

I gave a sigh of relief. _Of course. Even though I cant put it off forever. Here, you take a look at my schedule first, I'm scared._

He smiled as he took hold of my schedule, but then his face fell. I leaned on his shoulder to get a better view to see what he was talking about. "I'm joking lovely." He playfully pushed my away and slapped my green sheeted schedule down in front of me. I blushed at the thought of him calling me lovely. He saw and smiled.

1st period- Music

2nd period- Art

3rd period- College Algebra

4th period- Arts and Humanities

5th period- Poetry

_Why does everything sound like an elective?_

He slid his arm around the back of my chair. "Probably since you got most of your credits at your last school maybe? But besides the point, want to know how many classes we have together?" He asked me. I nodded excitedly. "Guess." He said firmly. God I hated the guessing game.

I held up 3 fingers.

"Nope."

I sighed in frustration, crossed my arms and slouched back in my seat. His eyes widened as they came in contact with my arms, but he didn't say anything. He decided to play it off. "All of them." He said short and sweetly, in that _we're going to talk about it later _tone. I sighed and nodded.

_Want to tour me around the school to blow off some more time?_

He laughed. "You _are_ a procrastinator aren't you?"

_More than anything. :D_

"Well come on." He smirked. "Bye Mrs. Carti, thanks for letting us hide out here for a while." Bill said sweetly.

"No problem dears." She practically sang back.

Bill kept an arm thrown around my waist as we slowly walked through the halls. _You totally have her wrapped around your perfectly manicured finger :P_

He smirked. "My nails are perfect aren't they?" He joked with me. "But people oddly find me irresistible."

_Especially older women? That means they think you're adorable!_

"Oh jeez, don't tease me about it, I already have to hear an earful from Shilo about it. She's just like Tom, perfect for each other if you ask me."

_You like to talk don't you?_

"Am I giving you a headache? I'm sorry…" He was about to start apologizing.

_Don't worry about it, you're lucky you have a nice voice. : )_

"Thanks." He gave an awkward laugh, pulling me closer. I wondered what all this meant, was he flirting? Or did he have a need to be close to someone like I did? Either way being close to him melted all my worries away, and I enjoyed it. I leaned into his figure. "I bet you have a nice voice too."

_I used to be a singer remember? It had to be something._

"Full of yourself much? We might get along just perfect." He joked.

I smiled huge. _I think I'm done procrastinating. _

"Are you sure?"

_Definitely not. But I might as well get it over with, and I'll be more at ease since you're in all my classes._

"And me, you, Tom and Shilo all have Poetry class together, so that's something to look forward to." He said. "And it's time for 3rd period, ready lovely?"

I blushed and nodded. _FML I would have to go to a math class first!_

"What you hate math?"

_No, but it frustrates the hell out of me… My 8__th__ grade math teacher ruined it all for me._

"What happened?"

_Well I was almost held back because she couldn't teach, she'd give us an equation then a week later say she made a mistake, so since then, I was always an epic fail of a math student._

"Wow, that is a heartfelt story, no need to worry about failing here, we have some really good teachers, they help you understand until you can pass all your standards." He released my waist to go in a classroom, I followed quickly behind him

Oh damn, the whole class turned their heads to face us. Good thing it wasn't a big class, but it still didn't take my mind off of things. "Hello there Abby!" The cheery mathematician started off. "Just call me Silvia, no need for those silly last names." She handed me a binder. "The office said you didn't talk, am I correct?" I nodded. "Well you seem to know Bill here, so I'll set you next to him."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and followed Bill to the side of the room where he allowed me to file in the desks first. They were connected, but you had to slide to get into them. I looked around the room, no one seemed to care, they busied themselves with their math. So I guess this was going to be an okay class.

College Algebra sounds a bit intense doesn't? Well its just everything you've learned since Freshman year, and god I was terrified. I didn't want to fail math, my dad would have a fit. He always expected me to do great, and this time around I don't think I could.

"You ok? You seem like you're thinking too hard." Bill whispered to me, finding my hand under the desk and softly taking it in his hand.

_Thinking about how I don't want to fail math._

"I wont let you fail." He smiled.

Class was insanely boring, all I had to do was fill out Standard makeup sheets saying I know the material. I sadly knew what they were talking about. My binder was going to get pretty full fast, and that it did. Silvia kept rushing back and forth between the working students and stamping what I knew and what I didn't. My brain was physically exhausted by the time the bell rang for Humanities.

Bill looped his hand in mine as we walked in sync down the halls. "Silvia is pretty scary isn't she?" He asked. I nodded. And like he read my mind he answered my unspoken question. "Don't worry, most teachers aren't like that, I think she's just really passionate about her job is all."

I ignored all the stares and whispers coming from the halls. Manly they were from jealous girls, they were mad because I got to hold Bill's hand, and others were saying how cute we were. At least it wasn't too bad. I just didn't want to be left alone with any of these people, who knew what would happen then? I'd be a complete mess without Bill. People scared me, if you hadn't noticed? I must be more clingier than Bill.

We rounded the corner into the classroom and a chubby man greeted us with all smiles. I've never taken Arts and Humanities in High School before, the last time I took it was around 4th or 5th grade! I wonder what it'll be all about?

"You must be Miss Baker?" Came his voice, it was tainted from smoking too many cigarettes. I nodded. "You're a perfect addition to our class." He looked to my and Bill's joined hands. "Do you all want to set together? Would it put you more at ease?" I nodded happily. "Sorry sweetie, Humanities is about coming out of your shell." I felt my mouth fall open.

"Mr. Falcin you _have _to let her sit with me, she's new and nervous." Bill pleaded with him, but nothing he tried worked. I already knew I was going to hate this class. Falcin placed me in front row, I shrugged off my bag and placed it under my desk and slouched, I hope people wouldn't notice my dark appearance. The whispers started. Apparently I was nifty to look at, and people found me interesting.

"Everyone! We have a new student!" Falcin started. "From the States am I correct?" I nodded. "Where from? I've always wanted to visit myself."

_Kentucky. It's not all that great if you ask me._

"Cant she talk?" "Is she mute?" "Maybe a sore throat?" "God that's weird." And cue the whispers.

"Ah, everything s special in their own way." He just continued on with today's lesson, leaving me alone. He was talking about different cultures in Africa and how they came to be. Well at least it was something interesting, and my brain could handle.

I looked across the room to Bill, who was also in front row. He looked so bored out of his mind it wasn't funny. He had his hand on the side of his face and he was just staring out into space. I sat back in my desk to get more comfortable and he caught my eye. He kept motioning everywhere, and I was shrugging like crazy, what in the hell was he talking about?

"Pick a partner, and choose wisely, don't work with someone who will drag you down." Mr. Falcin said.

Bill immediately shot up from his desk and calmly walked over to me. He grabbed a stray desk and pulled it over. _What was all that motioning about?_

"Oh, I hate your shirt." He said simply. My face fell, Cinema was one of my favorite bands. "Well, not like that…" He apologized. "It's just that they were our biggest competitors in Germany until they broke up, I was so tired of being compared to them." He rolled his eyes dramatically.

_My favorite band :P Don't diss on them._

"Touchy!" Bill laughed. "Anyways, did you catch on to anything that was said in class, because if you didn't notice, I was kind of out of it…"

A girl came up to us and interrupted us. She was dressed like a cheerleader type; tiny body, blonde hair, brown eyes. She looked like a slut. "Want to partner up Bill?" She asked him, lust dripping off her voice. God it was so nasally.

"Sorry, partnering with Abby." Bill didn't even seem like he noticed that she, well, wanted him!

She gave me a once over. "Nice hair." She tossed her fake hair over her shoulders and bounded her fake self away.

_She seems… nice?_

Bill laughed, and she threw us a nasty glance. "Heather? Please, she is so… ugh! I just hate her." He whispered my way.

_Hate? Harsh :P Just kidding, she that bad?_

"Oh god, she's every guy's dream, but her and Tom went through a lot of shit, and I just don't ever want to be dragged into her games." I cracked a smile at him. "What?" His eyes lit up.

_You said SHIT!_

This had him rolling.

And that class was fun, besides the Heather incident. Poetry class was next and I was actually looking forward to it. I needed a good dose of Shilo, I haven't seen her all day! And I also needed some food, I was starving. Next class was going to be insane, I already felt sorry for our teacher. She had the gang, they must be a handful.

Here goes nothing. I walked hand in hand with Bill to my last class period of my not so horrible day. I smiled contently.

**:3**

**Was it good? And don't worry 5****th**** period WILL be in the next chappy.**

**LYRICS :D**

**- 'Cause something changed, you were actin so strange and it's takin its toll on me, It's safe to say that I'm ready to let you leave. : ]**

**REVIEW!**


	5. Silence can Destroy

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life**

**-lpwriter4life got the song : ) Hinder- Without you**

Alien

Chapter 5: Silence Can Destroy

So 5th period was nothing like you'd expect, the class was microscopic! It literally only consisted of: Me, Bill, Tom, Shilo and some girl named Alyssa. The room was pretty huge, it had three sections of where the desks were, but we all hung out at the row of desks by the door. And Alyssa was the teacher aide so she didn't talk to us at all, I mean whatever. Today wasn't as nearly as bad as I thought it could have been, and I had some pretty horrid scenarios in my mind.

Mrs. Danzig was the cutest little teacher ever! She was tall, chubby, had a pixie cut and everything about her rang _little kid!_ You may even get her confused as a student, I know I did when me and Bill walked through the door. It was embarrassing! The class has only been going on for about 15 minutes, and the teacher still hasn't talked to me about anything, but Bill said I had nothing to worry about.

While the guys talked lively to each other, I couldn't help but to stray my attention towards the window. It was a very grey day out there, and I let my thoughts stray to my mom. Something I don't like to do, because it always left me a mess. I couldn't help but to think how proud of me she'd be right now! I'm sitting in a new school, with friends who like me for who I am. The no talking part and everything too! That's when I know they like me, is when they don't care that I don't talk or not. I can just be me around them.

Through everything since the incident I've never felt so wanted before in my life. And that may just be me being greedy, but I enjoy the feeling. And I could just stay cuddling with Bill forever, even though we don't really know each other, there's just something about him pulling me closer to him.

"… You aren't even listening are you?" I was shaken from my thoughts with a very amused looking Mrs. Danzig standing in front of me. I gave her an apologetic smile. She smiled herself. "Can you follow me to my desk real quick?"

Bill gave my hand a quick squeeze when I got up to follow the teacher. He was very caring towards me, and I loved the feel of that. Danzig held out a Sylvia Plath poetry book to me. "Would you like to read some of her work?" She asked, like we were old friends. She immediately made me feel comfortable.

_I read some of her poems at my last school :]_

Her eyes sparkled at my board. "What were some of your favorites? I read her book _The Bell Jar_ in college, it grabbed my attention, and it's now my favorite book." She smiled her adorable smile.

_I tried reading that book, but I couldn't get into it. But I loved the poems Lady Lazarus and the I am one, with 9 metaphors?_

Danzig smiled widely and clapped her hands happily. I gave her a wtf look. "Sorry, students like you make me super happy!"

_Students like me? What do you mean?_

"Ones who take great pleasure in poetry of course! I taught a Plath week before, and we studied the I am poem, no one could figure out the meaning of it. Do you know the meaning?" She asked curiously.

_I was the only one who got it at my old school. She was pregnant._

She gave a good laugh. "Indeed she was." She busied herself behind her desk. "Well this class isn't really difficult, we mainly just fool around and have a fun time, but we do work too." She gave a lazy smile. "Well anyways, you're going to need a binder full of poems within about 2 weeks, you think you can do it?"

_A poem a day, would mean about 14 or so poems am I right? I think I can do it._

"Don't think. _Know._ I have faith in you, and for some reason I feel a deep connection towards you. Call me crazy, but it's like… Sorry, I must sound insane?" She said awkwardly. Uhm, well that was kind of awkward. She shook her head. "Anyways, go back to your seat and I'll put up an assignment soon."

I felt oddly compelled to give her a hug. She was tense for a minute but hugged back, she looked teary. Well then, that was very odd. I got up slowly and walked back towards the gang.

Shilo was the first to talk. "Oh Shit Abby! What did you do to her? It looked like she was about ready to cry!" She harshly whispered to me from Tom's lap.

_I don't know :P But she seems really sweet, I think she's my favorite teacher so far. : )_

Tom snorted. "How come? She's a total bitch for real."

I wanted to smack him in the side of his head with my board, but I refrained. _How is she a bitch? _I asked instead.

The sad part was that Tom had to think about his explanation for why she was a total bitch. I mean we both had different opinions, so I wasn't going to judge him. "She gives out too much work, and I'm definitely not a poetry kind of guy. That's why Bill writes most of the stuff for the band." He exhaled loudly.

_Well couldn't you have transferred out of her class if you hate it so much?_

"Ooo she told you!" Shilo chorused in Tom's face, rubbing it in that I had a point.

"Sometimes I wonder why I put up with you." He sighed, wrapping his arms tighter around Shilo's middle, to where she cant get away. They were adorable together.

She smiled, leaning back to peck him on the lips. "Because you love me of course." She smiled, her eyes were gleaming.

"More than I think is humanly possible." He sighed happily.

I turned around to face the front of the class, jealously settling in my belly. Oh, I was happy for them, I was just upset because I would never have what they did. I was too broken for that, and lets be honest, who would have the patience to put up with me? Sometimes I even frustrate myself. There was a big bang at the door, like someone fell into it. Everyone's head swiveled to see what the huff was about. Bill was standing there looking flustered. Was it a sign?

"Abby can you get the door?" Mrs. Danzig asked politely. I looked at the lovebirds and they were just romantically staring into each others eyes, so I guess I was the only option. And Alyssa was no where to be seen. I wonder when Bill left anyways? Probably when I was talking to Danzig.

I slowly made my way towards the door, part because I didn't want to trip, and part to torture Bill. I stood in front of the door and gave a great smile and waved. He was talking but I couldn't hear, since the doors were really thick. Soundproof maybe? He gave me a stern look and pointed to the doorknob and did a turning motion with his hand.

_Oh you want me to open the door? _I mouthed.

He nodded his head angrily. Ah, I was annoying him. It made me want to laugh, something I haven't done in a very long time, but I stopped myself. I looked back to Mrs. Danzig and she found us amusing, but kept on teaching. She was a pretty chill teacher, on the edges of irresponsible, but I liked her.

Bill was mouthing something angrily.

_I'll think about it. _I smiled, putting my hand on my chin and pretending to think. I decided to just open the door. Bill gave a sigh of frustration.

"Abby Baker, you will be the death of me one day." He stated in a playful tone. He wrapped his arms around me and tickled me! My eyes bulged and I held my breath trying to push him away. I hated being tickled, but only because I didn't like to laugh. It was for dumb reasons I guess. I mean I could only hold my breath for so long, so I did the childish thing. I went limp. He gasped but caught me; BARELY! My forehead hit the floor a bit hard. But nothing too bad.

This whole situation made me want to laugh. He sat me shakily on my feet, I was facing him that much I knew. I popped open my eyes at him. "Oh mein Gott!" Bill breathed his sweet breath on my face. "You scared the hell out of me!"

_I don't like to be tickled. _I mouthed. And it felt very weird to mouth things, it was the closest I was going to get to talking I guess.

"Well sorry, jeez. Just don't scare me like that again ok?"

I nodded. It was very foolish of me to do something like that in the first place, I bet it did scare him. He leaned forward slowly and placed a careful kiss on my forehead, not knowing what my reaction would be. I kind of just brushed it off, I didn't know what the gesture meant. Damn it all. I felt my face flush with embarrassment.

"Sorry for dropping you on your head and all." He said sincerely. Ah, so the kiss was a gesture of being sorry. Made perfect sense to me now, but why is it that something is swimming in my stomach? It felt like I was in denial.

"Bill and Abby!" The teacher called, pulling us out of our silent thoughts. "Back to earth, its time for your assignment." We untangled ourselves from each other and walked back to our seats, which were side by side. I could get used to seeing his sweet face everyday for sure.

"Now, I'm going to hand you out a poem, and you're going to have to decipher what it means ok? I don't even know what it means, so I guess you could say it's a matter of opinion here." She said a little too happily as she passed out the poems. I may sound a bit conceited here, but I think she wants to see how good I can break apart a poem.

The poem we broke down was _My papa's Waltz. _I had some good opinions on that poem. I mean obviously the little boy was being abused, and they compare it to a Waltz because that specific dance repeats dance steps over and over again. So the beatings are repetitive. Danzig told me I had a future as a promising writer, and I hated the attention she was giving me, it felt weird.

"Since class is almost over you guys can just talk amongst yourselves!" Mrs. Danzig said cheerily, she might be able to match Bill on _most happiest person on the face of the earth._

"I don't see why you do that, you know we talk the whole class period anyways." Shilo stated.

Danzig rolled her eyes. "Well at least I'm trying to be a good teacher." Apparently she was audited, and wasn't going to be here next year to teach. I was going to miss her greatly I already knew.

"And that's why we love you!" Shilo sang.

Bill pulled me close in a hug, and just left us like that. With his arms casually slung around my waist. Danzig then pulled up a chair to our little group of friends. _Friends. _It felt good to say that again. "Are you two a thing?" She asked me and Bill. I flushed and shook my head.

"Uhm, no." Bill said, you could hear the embarrassment of being called out in his voice.

She laughed. "Anyways, I'd like to get to know Abbs a little better. Where are you from?"

_Kentucky. _I wrote. Oh damn, here goes the 20 question game. I pulled Bill's arm up a little more so I could slouch down in my seat. It hurt too much to sit up straight for long periods of time. Dumb back problems.

"Ah, which city?" Why must people be so interested in Kentucky?

_Louisville, it's the home of the Derby! : ) _

"I go to Derby every year!" She exclaimed.

_Really? I used to sell stuff by the greenhouse on the main street, Taylor Blvd. I think it was called._

"Sehr interessant." She spoke in German, I think she said it was interesting? "My dad used to work for Churchill before we moved here." She smiled. "Yes, I'm from Louisville too."

I wonder if we'd ever met before, maybe that's why she seems so familiar? God my brain felt trippy. _My grandpa worked at Churchill too! Ok, this is weird._

Bill gave a laugh. "Man this is weird! I'm probably clueless right now, but I find this as weird as you both."

_What was your dad's name?_

"Danny Cox."

_Odd, my grandpa had a buddy there and we called him Cox._

She let out a giant laugh. "Oh god, this day just gets weirder and weirder doesn't it?" I think it was a rhetorical question, because she kept on talking. "Our families know each other and we didn't even know it!" She couldn't stop laughing. I mean yeah I found it 100 percent weird, but I didn't find it that funny.

"This is trippy isn't it?" Bill asked, I swear I think he was just talking to talk. God that boy is strange, but I liked that about him. He was out there.

_Very trippy. _I wrote to Bill, so he wouldn't think I was ignoring him.

And thank god the bell rang! I don't think I could handle another second of Danzig and her constant talking. I really didn't need reminders of the past. She said she was going to talk to her dad about everything, and ask questions about how our families knew each other. I mean I couldn't really object, but I didn't want her prying into my life. I didn't want her to know what happened.

"Damn girl!" Tom yelled to me through the crazy halls. "You have Danzig wrapped around your finger!" He smirked my way. I just gave him a smile and kept walking, I didn't need to be lost in the crowd. I think I'd might cry! Good thing for Bill though.

He smiled at his twin. "Just like I have the attendance office people wrapped around mine?" Shilo found this hilarious, and was about to give him a mouthful. "Don't even start with me, I'm tired and cranky."

"Be nice to my girlfriend!" Tom said defensively, kissing her full on the lips. She blushed and smiled like an idiot. I bet she never gets used to kissing an international rock star.

"Someone's on his man period." Shilo muttered under her breath and that got me, I probably smiled the biggest smile known to man.

Bill looked down at me with a hilarious expression. "I'm glad you enjoy them picking on me." He stuck his tongue out at me. Tongue ring? Nice.

_You guys are funny. _I mouthed for Bill, besides I think he was the only one who could read lips anyways.

He was going to talk but stopped. His eyes were searching my face, like he was trying to figure me out. I was a mystery to him, a math book even. He had to actually figure me out before he got to know me. And I think he was okay with that. Maybe that's what was drawing him to me? I held onto hope. "You're something else you know that?" He smiled.

_Thank you. _I mouthed with a smiled.

I looked around, Shilo and Tom totally ditched us. Who knows where they went, maybe a quicker way to get out of the school. Me and Bill were just taking our sweet time to get out, there weren't even people walking around us anymore. All too afraid they were going to miss their bus, so they already hurried out.

"Want to come over lovely?" He asked me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

_I'm not sure, I'm super tired. And I need to work on poems._ It felt nice to not have to write out my responses.

"Awh, please? We can be tired together?" His eyebrows creased, they must do that when he was trying to think hard. "I stayed up super late on math homework, so I'm exhausted too. But we could totally hang out?" He tried to sway me with a puppy dog face.

_Oh I don't know._

"Come on! I did the puppy dog face." He pouted, jutting out his bottom lip.

_The puppy dog face does NOT work on me, but sure._

"So you'll come over for a while?" I nodded. I gave an inaudible yawn. "Want to ask your dad?"

_He's not home, so he wont care._

"Ah. What do you want to do?" I just shrugged and he sighed. He continued talking to fill the silence, and for that I was grateful. Silence can destroy.

XxX

Actually my dad was at Simone's house, it was a weird experience walking inside and being greeted by my dad. I swear he was going to get Simone to date him, she seemed like she would. It was really odd to say the least, apparently Simone wanted to cook for us. She claims to be the best cook ever! But the boys don't really think so.

"Come on!" Bill was yanking on my arm like a little kid. "We might as well have some fun before dinner is ready." He smiled at me taking my hand and leading me up a huge flight of stairs.

"Twenty minutes!" Simone called after us, that's when dinner was supposedly going to be ready. I was anxious to see what she cooked like, it couldn't be _that_ bad.

Bill walked through an open door and plopped down on the center of a bed. I leaned on the doorjamb, this must be his room. It was very boyish, despite his appearance. The walls were a dark color, between a dark purple and dark blue. His bed was ginormous! It had a black lacey canopy falling in cascades around the head of the bed. Overall I loved his room.

Bill on the other hand was just laying with his legs hanging off the sides, poor guy, he really was tired. I pushed off and jogged a bit and threw myself on his bed with all my might. I sent him bouncing up in the air, he landed with giggles spewing everywhere. Man he must be really tired if he's resulted to laughing like a maniac. Been there done that. I smiled at him.

"So on a scale to one to ten, how tired are you?" He asked me with a giant yawn.

_OneBILLion._

He laughed at how I described it. "I bet I'm more tired than you." He countered.

_Highly doubt that one. I have jetlag! Do you know what that does to your body?_

He smiled sweetly at me. "I guess you do have a point there."

_I will definitely be sleeping as soon as were done eating, I love the feel of your artery's clogging when you lay down to sleep off all the food._

"You are freaking hilarious Abby!" He laughed.

We sat there for the whole twenty minutes just talking about random things. School. Airports. Rain. Georg. Animals. Being vegetarians. Almost anything! Well he did most of the talking, obviously, but I enjoyed myself. This boy was fun to hang out with, and he was most certainly my best friend here. I didn't really know him for too long, but we've bonded since my arrival and I trusted him enough.

_You're my best friend, just letting you know that Bill._

I saw a flicker of something in his eyes. "And I think you're my best friend who's a girl." He said, sounding a bit awkward. Ah, girlfriend. He was so childish, it made me smile.

_What about Shilo?_

"Ah, she's just a good friend."

_I really like her, we're spending the night together Saturday, it'll be fun._

"You seem so sure of yourself, I warn you though, she comes up with the most bizarre ideas!" He said, poking my belly. I jumped. I was never good with people poking me, I was super jumpy. He laughed at that.

_You think the foods done? I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!_

"Oh trust me mom will call us down here." He said. "And I don't think a horse could fit in your tummy.

I smirked. _You'd be surprised with how much I could eat._

"We should have a pizza eating contest one day." He said confidently.

_Why pizza?_

"Who don't like pizza?" Hm, he had a point.

Just then Simone called us down from the kitchen, finally! Food was ready! I really shouldn't procrastinate anymore, all it did was make me miss the first 2 classes and lunch. Yeah I needed to eat! I loved food too much not to.

I took my seat next to the window in their kitchen as Bill decided to get everyone ice for their drinks. I mean it wasn't really necessary since the drinks were already cold, but I mean whatever floats his weird boat. Bill was the difficult one. Tom plopped down on the other side of Simone, who was next to my dad, he was sitting in front of me. Which left Bill and me on the other side of the table.

This made me want to die right there. Bill was coming back with a container of ice cubes and he somehow tripped over his socks, sending the ice flying up in the air, they were all individual pieces. Before anything too bad happened, Bill fell and was now laying on his back on the floor with his knees bent, and the ice container over his pretty little face. The ice plinked off his body and the floor one by one.

But the thing that got me was how he picked up his slim body like nothing happened and continued his journey back to the table. I did something I never thought I would, ever again.

I busted out laughing.

**:3**

**Whattcha guys think of this one? : ) And I recommend the poetry, the poets: Sylvia Plath and Theodore Roethke are a nice read :]**

**LYRICS :D**

**-I cried to my daddy on the telephone, how long now? Until the clouds unroll and you come home, the line went. But the shadows still remain since your decent, your decent.**

**REVIEW [leave ideas and stuffs, and if I like them I might put them in?] :3**


	6. Sleepwalker say what?

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life**

**-Shaker10 got the song U2 ft. Green Day- The saints are coming**

Alien

Chapter 6: Sleepwalker say what?

My dad let out a shaky breath, and I didn't wait to see the others expressions, I hid my face in my hands. Somehow I felt ashamed, of what exactly? I myself didn't know. Maybe of being happy? Shouldn't laughing feel amazing? Why do I feel such a sense of guilt? Was it because my mom or brother weren't here to smile and laugh along with me. I couldn't laugh. Guilt. Bottled. Up. My. Fault. They. Are. Dead.

"Honey breathe!" My dads voice was in a panic at my ears, his hands were gently patting my shoulders. I was crying, and I think I was having a panic attack! It usually happens when I thought of my past, which is why you all aren't hearing much about it. Time, I need more time before I can open up.

My head was hurting, it felt like it was going to burst with all the strain on my temples. My breath was ragged and my tears were falling in a heavy stream down my cheeks. I couldn't process anything. Where was I? I was Abby right? My last name… I couldn't recall, but should it matter? Spinning, things were getting out of control, I saw different shades of hues. Why am I so dizzy?

My dads frantic voice pulled me out of my episode. What just happened? Simone had both her hands up to her mouth, she looked like she was holding back tears. Tom looked utterly shocked, like he didn't know how to handle me. From now on I knew I'd be look at as breakable through his eyes. I couldn't find Bill! Should I be freaking out this much? I needed to know where he… No! Abby stop thinking like that.

Dad placed a steady firm hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" He asked me sweetly, concerned filled eyes. And that's all it took to make me crumble, I latched my arms around his neck and cried. It hurt so much. My breath caught in my throat as I saw Bill propped against the doorjamb, arms crossed. He was observing me with a caring expression on his worried looking face. He cared, and that made my heart swell. I was surrounded by people who cared.

I sat back abruptly and wiped my tears away with the backs of my hands. It was okay to cry, I knew that. I just didn't want people to know the reason behind my crying, even though I had a huge hunch that my dad was up to something. "It's okay to laugh Abby."

I shook my head furiously. It. Was. Not. Ok.

He grabbed my chin and roughly made me look into his pale brown eyes, he brought my ear to his mouth. "You've been through hell," He said in a whisper. The Kaulitz family wouldn't be able to hear, only if they were deeply listening, and I hoped they were giving us privacy. "And I as well as you know I miss Becca and Andy as much as you do ok? And you should count yourself lucky to be here." I nodded. I knew he was right. "So don't give up, laugh, smile, don't feel guilty about it. They want you to be happy." He gave me a small smile after he was done with his mini pep talk.

I sighed deeply turned and slouched down in my chair, I was scared to meet anyone's eyes. I folded my hands neatly in my lap and crossed my feet at the ankle. Oh how I missed Andy. He was my best friend and he was also my twin. Andy was 10 minutes older than me and he loved to take pride in it. He was my over protective brother, I just wish I could have protected him from that vile man in the end. Andy was great, even though we were complete opposites from each other.

I had the blondest hair and Andy was stuck with jet black hair, something I always wished I had. He'd protest every time I'd ask to color it, saying that it would ruin my natural color, and I was lucky to have it. Andy was a surfer boy at heart, even though we lived no where near the ocean whatsoever. He kept his hair long and shaggy, always wearing cargo shorts, unbuttoned plaid flannel with normal tee's underneath. He is my hero still to this day.

My mom on the other hand was a chubby redhead. Sometimes I wondered where our genes came from, with dad having brown hair and all. She hated being called mom, so me and my twin resulted to calling her Becca. She loved taking us shopping, and being an overall teenager. Either way our family is past broken, but they will live on in my heart. No need digging up the past.

I was pulled out of my thoughts with Bill's arms wrapping themselves around my stomach from behind. I knew it was him because I could just sense it, having Bill touch me felt right. Do I sound dumb to you? I felt him sit down next to me, with his arms still around me, he kept his head on my shoulder. I sighed into his embrace and laid my head on his.

My dad and Simone looked happy at the thought that I had a friend comforting me, they looked amazingly happy. Tom just gave me a faint smile and wouldn't make eye contact with me. Ah, so I made him uneasy, he seemed like he'd be the type to freak out if something like that happened. But I knew he was still my friend, he just needed to collect his bearings.

"Oh Abby." Bill sighed into my shoulder. "Please open up to me, I'm here to help you no matter what lovely." His brown lined orbs felt like they pierced my soul.

_Not now, and I know you're here for me. Thank you. _I mouthed.

My dad's eyes lit up. "At least your making some progress honey, remember when you used to refuse to mouth things, you'd only write with your board?" He sniffled. "One step at a time I guess." Hope dripped off his voice. And I felt comfortable here, and they were talking about me like this.

"Do you still want to eat, or do you want to go rest for a while?" Bill asked with concern in his gentle voice.

My tummy growled, as if saying _go to bed now and I'll make sure you're sick in the morning from not eating._ I placed a hand on my stomach and blushed.

Bill laughed. "Great timing huh?"

I nodded happily.

"Smiling lights up your face, do it more why don't you?" Bill whispered in my ear, and I couldn't help but to blush twelve billion different shades of red.

Simone snorted at us. "No flirting at the table you guys!"

This made Tom laugh, so any awkwardness that he held onto simply melted away in the atmosphere. Good, I hated things being awkward, and I didn't want it to be between us. I may sound dumb, but these people have hugely impacted my life, even though I've only been here a very short time. They amazed me.

Bill blushed and scooted away from my form quickly. I missed his warmth already, but I know what its like to be embarrassed by family. Don't even get my started on Jaimie. My first love, my first everything really. He never ditched me in the end, we kind of just drifted apart. If your asking, I have no feelings for him now whatsoever. I lost feeling for everything around me since the incident, until now. Bill makes me feel happy, and if I go out on a limb, I'm sure he feels the same way about me.

He's always seeming to flirt with me, always touching some part of my body. Like now for instance, Bill's leg was brushing mine. While he was chatting excitedly with his mom about changing up hairstyles, and that he was sick of his current do. I personally loved his hair long, a bit past his shoulders and sometimes he'd spike it out. But it was his hair, and I wasn't going to stop him.

"How about it dear?" Simone pointed towards me. I clearly wasn't listening, so I gave her a repeat that please? look. She smiled sympathetically. "I was just saying that I wonder who could sit up straight the longest, you or Tom. How about a contest?" What was she a teenager herself?

I turned to Bill. A bit of truth came out. _Tell her I really cant. It might damage my spine too much._

"Why would sitting up straight do that?" Bill asked confused.

_I was in a car accident, and it really messed up my spine. Causing me not to be able to sit or stand straight for too long. _I silently sighed while Bill relayed what I said to Simone. She played it off, and apologized nicely.

"When's the food going to be done? I'm starving over here!" Tom asked exasperated.

"Max is putting everything out on plates my dear." Simone chided Tom. Well he was only expressing what me and Bill both felt. That's what we get for procrastinating I guess.

I leaned back in my chair, putting my legs straight out and leaning my head on Bill's shoulder. I noticed the smile Simone gave us, she tried to keep it discreet, but failed. And she smiled even wider as her son leaned into my touch. I couldn't help it that I wanted to be close to him. As I said before, and as I'm sure I'll repeat again, I felt drawn to him.

Dad laid the food down on the table. I sniffed the air wildly, what Simone cooked didn't smell bad, it actually had my mouth watering. It looked like mashed potatoes and salad for my and the twins, and was that cheesy macaroni? I think it was. Macaroni was my favorite food! My dad must have told her, because she smiled as I took a very generous helping onto my plate.

We all ate in comfortable silence, with the occasional scraping of our forks hitting our plates. And Tom was making moaning noises. He must have been starving because the food wasn't moan worthy. Simone was the first to strike up a conversation and Bill plopped a note book in my lap with a sharpie. _Just in case._ He mouthed to me. Well that was very sweet of him.

"So how did you like your first day of school? Did people treat you ok?" She asked me giggly. I put down my fork and began writing.

_It was pretty fun, I have Bill in all my classes so I don't have to feel alone. Arts and Humanities was awful._

"Bill complains about that class too, Falcin gives out too much work, too strict, I've heard it all." She smiled. I loved how the smile lit up her features.

Dad looked at me then. "Are you adjusting fine honey? You know I worry about you." I nodded to let him know everything is alright. "Ok so about tonight, I wont be able to be home, and I don't want to leave you home alone just yet. Me and Simone have discussed it, and It's alright if you stay here for the night, is that alright with you?"

I nodded with a smile. That means more Bill and Tom time.

"Where is she going to stay? She can always share my bed?" Bill said a bit _too _happily. I wanted to slap him across his flawless face just then, and Tom seemed to have choked on a noodle or seven. "No I don't mean it like that, but, well, you see.." He stammered.

"Slow your roll lover boy." My dad said. "She'll be sleeping in a guest bedroom or on the couch, whichever she would like."

I really had to think about it, I hated being alone, but I didn't want to be out in the open. _Couch._ I mouthed. It would be a whole lot easier than sleeping in an unknown room. I was done with that. Never again will that happen to me…

"Nonsense!" Bill exclaimed. "You can sleep on the bed if you wish."

_I don't want to though_. I stuck my tongue out at him, playfully.

"Just be careful, Bill likes to sleepwalk randomly in the middle of the night." Tom laughed my way.

I quirked an eyebrow at Bill. _Really?_

He flushed. "No! I do not sleepwalk thank you Tom."

"Oh? What about the time when you tried to climb in the big industrial freezer downstairs? If I wasn't awake with Shilo you might not even be here. Frostbite!" Tom exclaimed quickly.

And this time when I laughed, I felt no guilt. Everyone had their eyes on me with approving stares. I loves being appreciated, but I hated being looked at. Ugly face and all. Lack of confidence. You know.

"And that's why there is a giant ass lock on the basement door sweetie." Simone said in a cute tone.

Bill huffed in his seat and I turned my head to give him a smile. _I don't care if you sleepwalk. My brother used to._

He gave me a faint smile but didn't press the matter, he knew that obviously I didn't have a brother in the current present, so I've lost him somehow. "Have you ever slept walked Abby?" Bill asked me.

I shook my head.

My dad busted out laughing and my cheeks tinged pink. Oh god here comes a story.

"My ass you haven't sleep walked!" He got into killer story mode. I huffed alongside a now lively Bill, he was really going to get into this one. "One day or rather night, Abbs got up from sleeping and I'm thinking ok, this is a very weird hour for her to be up. But anyways, she was carrying her dirty clothes to the kitchen and throwing them in the trash!" He paused for effect. "That's when I realized she was asleep."

"Aw!" Bill gushed, pinching my cheeks. Making me blush. "How old was she?" He asked my dad.

"About 10 or so I believe." Another round of 'Awhs.' "Oh and then there was this one time where she walked right past me through the kitchen and started unhooking the lock chain on the back door! Who knew what was getting into her. Weird dreams this one had!" He thought for a few more beats. "And once she tried to climb in the fridge." Now that one I remembered. Sadly.

Tom was rolling in his seat laughing. "I think you may beat Bill! And he can get pretty bad sometimes."

"Oh look at the time!" My dad vaguely said. I rolled my eyes at him and crossed my arms. He gave me a kiss on my forehead. "I love you alright? Be safe."

_I love you too, and good luck with your restaurant. _I hope he understood me, because I was in one of those agitating moods. He gladly did understand me though. He left in a haste. He was definitely up to something, and he'd better tell me when he got back from whatever he was going. He was _not _going to start lying to me.

Simone was acting strangely quiet too, and then it all clicked. What if they were going to be sneaking around to be seeing each other? That would be so awkward for me and Bill. I mean, well awkward for me, since I liked him. Wait did I just think that? Man I've had a long day. And guess what it don't stop here, I have poetry homework to do.

XxX

Bill had comfortable tucked me in on the large couch, it felt so nice to be a little pampered. And don't even get me started on their giant bathroom, it was fifty billion times the size as mine. You know I'm tired when I start to exaggerate. But the thing was, I felt normal here. Like I belonged.

I washed all the makeup from my face, leaving my scar there for all to see. Hopefully no one would notice, but I couldn't really wish that, because Bill somehow knew all. He leaned on his knees above my form on the couch. He traced my scar from its base all the way to my hairline, and he then kissed my cheek gently.

He sighed contently. "You're such a mystery to me Abby."

_Are you willing to figure out the pieces? _I had hope in my chest when I said that statement.

"Of course." He smiled at me, and I couldn't help but to smile back. "Now get to that homework! I bet you write pretty poems, since you were in a band."

_I might._

"Well I'm going to go to bed now, don't stay up too late." He pretended to chide me, tapping his index finger against the tip of my nose.

_Okay dad, jeez. _I laughed.

"Its nice to hear your laugh, its so melodic. I wish to one day hear your voice too." He said hopefully, but yawing into the crease of his elbow.

_Oh go to sleep. _I smiled up at him from my warm spot. _And try not to sleepwalk. _I teased.

"Oh you think its just _so _funny don't you?" He asked sarcastically.

_Why I believe I do._

"Well I hope you don't sleepwalk either, because you do it too apparently." He said in a haha tone.

_Not since I was little._

He sighed. "Well, I'm beat. Goodnight lovely." He gave my hair a ruffle and a light kiss on the cheek before he retreated off to his room. I made sure everyone was asleep before I started writing. Privacy issues I guess, I just hated nosey people beyond everything.

The TV was left on for me, it was on mute, and the table lamp was on too. I hated sleeping in new places in the dark. I cleared my thoughts, picked up my pen, opened the binder and wrote where my heart took me.

Silence is all one knows

Expressing herself through words

Since her voice is useless

It will do much more harm than good.

No need to elaborate, I know what happened

Can't open up

Can't trust

No one will understand me

I dress in twists of black

Shaggy clean fabric

To blend in, to disappear

For that I'm ok

It's less to explain

No one to talk to is;

Comforting.

Meeting new people stress me

The fuck out

They seem like they expect too much

From me.

Don't they see?

I'm a broken, crippled

Soul.

One day with a lot of help

I'll change,

Make Dad proud

Redeem my name

Do it for Mom and Andy

My beloved twin

I miss you so

I cannot dwell on the

Past.

For I am trying to make a new start

So maybe one day

I can advance forward in the

Future.

Only time will tell

Lessons to be learned

Man needs to be found

Put away.

Then I'll be happy.

Silence Destroys

Have I gone to far?

Have I hurt too many?

I don't want to lose them.

They are my new and improving

Life.

I sigh

Happily.

Keep moving forward

Abby.

**:3Well what did you guys think? And yes I did write that poem : ) just now, off the top of my head. Hopefully it'll help you all grasp her character. She's got so many jumbled emotions in her.**

**LYRICS :D**

**-So hot, out the box, can we pick up the pace? Turn it up, heat it up, I need to be entertained. Push the limit, are you with it? Baby don't be afraid, Imma hurt you real good baby. :]**

**REWIEV :3**


	7. Oh jeez

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life**

**Shaker10 got the song. Adam Lambert- For your Entertainment**

Alien

Chapter 7: Oh jeez

Something heavy falling onto my body woke me up. Well it scared the crap out of me actually, and a choked scream came out of my mouth. It wasn't a full on scream because my voice wasn't used to doing stuff like that. I opened my eyes to the darkness of the blankets over my head, I felt like I was being suffocated. I tried to wriggle away from the weight. What in the hell was going on?

My mind was still laced with sleep, so of course I was having the most bizarre scenario's going through it at the moment. Then I heard a light snoring. Did the twins have a giant dog that I didn't know about or something? It sounded rather girly though, so who knew. If only I could wriggle myself free from these wretched covers. Why must I sleep with my whole body under them? Head included. I felt more comfortable that way.

A gust of fresh air hit my face as I got the thin blanket off from around my body. And I laughed when I saw the sight. Bill was passed out on top of me, holding a ham sandwich in his manicured hands. Oh god, some vegetarian. I guess his unconscious self wants meat. Was his nails chipping too? What the hell does this boy do while he's asleep? Man, Bill is definitely worse that I could ever be at sleepwalking, at least I don't do it anymore.

I laid there for a really long time with his form crushing mine. I didn't want to fall back to sleep because I didn't want to wake up feeling awkward-ed out. I mean I wasn't going to feel that way, I just wanted to be prepared for it. Well, do you get what I'm saying here? I stole a glance at my clock and my eyes grew huge, people would be getting up any minute. I gave Bill a good shake, all he did was mumble something incoherently under his breath.

I sighed as I heard someone bounding down the stairs. It just happened to be Tom, oh god here we go. It's too fucking early for whatever was going to happen. But when his eyes met mine, and then he trailed them to Bill's sleeping form he didn't laugh. Tom came closely slowly, and yanked the ham sandwich from his brothers grasp. Uhm okay? I quirked an eyebrow at him.

He held up a finger telling me to hold on a second. "Bill goddamnit!" Tom shouted at the top of his lungs at his brother. Bill tossed and turned, jerked and cursed all over me, before roughly falling onto the hardwood floor. I sat up straight, I was very amused this morning.

"What the hell Tom? You don't go doing that to someone whose asleep!" Bill chided him, he was so pissed off. I had to hold in my laughter. Why did I find everything funny now? "Why must you have to eat a ham sandwich almost every morning? Aren't you supposed to be a vegetarian? I'm so disappointed in you Tom." Bill continued his long ass rant about how his brother messed up everything.

"What about Abby? Aren't you going to apologize for sleeping on her?" Tom gave his signature smirk.

Bill's cheeks tinged a cute pink color. "Sorry Abby, I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked, sounding sorry.

_Oh, you didn't hurt me, you only scared the crap out of me! I thought you guys had a giant dog I didn't know about or something. _I smiled.

"Oh Abby!" Bill threw his little arms around my body in a giant hug. I gave him a questioning glance. "You are so cute in the mornings!" He sang. His voice was so soothing to listen to, which means I would have to check out some of their CD's soon. I was not a creeper.

_Technically I've been up for a while, so how can I be cute in the mornings? _

"Well then you're cute all the time!" Bill laughed when I blushed. He turned to Tom then. "Go throw away that damn sandwich, now do you want to be a vegetarian or not?"

"Well you know I do, I just slip up sometimes." He said back slyly. And I laughed at him, Bill looked between us, like he couldn't figure out what was going on.

Bill huffed in annoyance. "I'm going to go get dressed, come up when you're ready, and I'll loan you something ok?" Bill said sweetly to me. He bounded his hyper ass up the stairs, singing something in German in the process.

I turned to Tom and pointed to the sandwich. _Explain._

Tom let out a short low laugh. "You're probably wondering why I took the blame for eating the meat am I right?" I slowly nodded. "Well Bill is so dedicated to being a vegetarian, I just cant let him know about his midnight snack runs."

_That's too sweet of you Tom._

"I'm not good with reading lips." He smiled at me. "All I got was my name." I hit him in the shoulder and sighed. He busted out laughing. "You look like a mad puppy when you get frustrated." I rolled my eyes.

Tom headed off into the kitchen to dispose of the sandwich. They had some really weird twin ways of covering for one another. Me and Andy never did something weird like that. Usually we had each others backs, but most of the time we'd rat each other out to our parents though. In the end we knew we loved each other, he was my best friend, my other half. And when he died, I felt my soul being ripped in half. My other side was gone permanently.

I didn't want to start off my day being sad so I pushed Andy towards the back of my head. I had to move forward. I gave myself a cleansing breath and grabbed a hold of my Monster messenger bag. Finding my way to Bill's room was particularly hard, since I didn't remember too much about yesterday. I followed the music, it was a lovely tune. _Come on you can look at me I don't need to fit in…_ The singer sang with such emotions.

I lightly knocked on the slightly ajar door before pushing it open, not waiting for a response. Bill was sitting at his giant mirror desk thing, applying makeup. He was so girly, but I pushed it to the back of my head. Only because I liked him. Bill couldn't be gay though, he seemed like he was interested in me enough. Bill was looking at me through his mirror. _Hey. _I mouthed, giving a tiny wave.

"I put some clothes on my bed, I chose for you if you don't mind?" I didn't. "Good. I love dressing up people and making them model the clothes." I smiled sadly looking down at the pair of long baggy blue basketball shorts. My legs were only a little scarred up, so I wouldn't mind wearing these. And the shirt was of course Tokio Hotel, it was white, with the band on it, Bill had a mowhawk, and the blue print surrounding the letters matched the shorts.

"I'm going to do your makeup too." He smiled at me evilly.

_You mean may I?_

He scowled at me. "May I do your makeup too?"

_Sure. Now I'm going to change in the bathroom, I wont take too long, I promise._

I filed out his door a little too quickly, catching my foot on the doorjamb. Bill laughed lightly from his seat, but didn't try to help. I rolled my eyes, Bill was definitely something else. The hallways were scattered with empty boxes, maybe they just moved here too. I doubt that, these boys seemed to fit in a little too much with their comfortableness in this town. The hall walls were covered in pictures of the boys growing up, a family picture; without a dad. That must be rough on them, I could definitely relate.

I almost stepped in on Tom changing, and he gave a really girly shriek and it didn't help because he threw a pair of boxers at me. I blushed like a tomato and sighed in relief when I realized the bathroom was just across the hall from his damn room. Why couldn't I remember little details like where the bathroom was? Well yesterday was a bit fuzzy to me, so you couldn't blame me.

I closed the door quietly behind me and stripped of my clothes. I avoided looking at my body, well because it wasn't the prettiest sight. The thin t-shirt fit super snuggly, like he bought it just for me or something, but it was a little see through too. You could tell I was wearing a black bra, but I could actually care less. People are going to judge you no matter what you do in life, so why should it matter if you can see my bra?

My legs on the other hand were ugly. Well not in the literal sense, because I thought everything about me was funny looking. My legs were the perfect size for my body, I just had scars from the accident going up and down them. The scars weren't that visible unless I was under lights, which I so happen to be in during school. Oh well. I guess today was my I don't give a fuck attitude. My favorite kind of attitude.

I kind of liked what the clothes were doing for me though, the top was tight, and the shorts were baggy. It showed off my figure and then it just stopped. I liked that for some reason. I light knocking on the door pulled my head out of my vanity thoughts, I really needed to quit that. Its not like there was something to look at when you saw me anyways.

I opened up the door and Bill came bounding noisily in with a huge wicker basket. He scooped me up in his arms and sat me down on the long bathroom counter, damnit I think I'm in for it. He blushed. I gave him a questioning stare. "I think were going to be late again." He said with a whine in his voice.

My eyes bulged, and I gave him a questioning stare. I was going to be in deep shit, since the office ladies from yesterday called my dad and said that I _was_ counted as tardy my first day. I swear I hated those office ladies.

"Don't look at me like that, I mean we mind as well skip out of first period, Shilo and Tom are with me too." I just shrugged, mind as well. He sighed. "Not much or a talker today are you?" He asked.

_I'm just still a little tired, since _someone _had to go on a freaking sleepwalking rampage last night. _I gave a small laugh and pushed him back by his shoulder gently.

"That I sleepwalk _never_ leaves this house ok? And Shilo isn't allowed to know either, she'd never let me live this one down!" And the look on his face was great. "Ready for your 'ultimate Bill makeover'?"

_Should I be scared? _I teased.

He smirked at me. "Don't be silly lovely, I just really want to see you really made up is all." I don't know if he did it intentionally or not, but his hand went under the shorts and he rested it on my thigh. My breath caught in my throat.

_Like a whore? _My eyebrows shot up.

"Definitely not! I cant explain it, you'll just have to see when I'm done okay?" He smiled at me.

_One more question. _I said cautiously, because I really want to know the answer to it. He waited for me expectantly. _Why do you call me Lovely?_ I focused my eyes at my knees and blushed.

"Have you not seen your face? You're beautiful ok?" He said, trying to cheer me up. I wish my dad never said anything about my self consciousness when we first met. He raised my head to look directly in his chocolate coal lined orbs. "Don't doubt it for a second." He lightly kissed my scarred cheek. He made me feel pretty.

I held his hand on my cheek, leaning into his touch for a moment longer. He felt so warm against my cool skin. I wish things could be simple like this forever. No fighting. No loss. No death. No criminals. No bad. And like he could read my thoughts he wrapped himself around my in a giant hug, I threw both my arms around his neck and nuzzled into his neck. Like he said, we were going to be late.

We stayed like that for a few beats. Well until we heard Shilo arriving, she didn't drive that I knew of. We heard her voice traveling from the living room all the way up here on the second floor. I released myself from Bill and sighed. _Time to get a move on Bill._

He nodded happily looking through his basket of goodies. And by goodies I mean his makeup supplies. It startled me with how much a single person could have! And he wasn't a girl, he was a guy, so that made it a little more unbelievable. He combed through his trove for a while, picking out makeup supplies and sitting them down next to me on the counter.

I was in for some torture.

XxX

"Shilo, Tom!" Bill called down the stairs. "Come look at Abby1 Tell us what you guys think of what I did to her!"

"Oh damn Bill, you only just met her, that don't give you permission to do her in the bathroom!" Shilo boomed up the stairs. I smacked myself in the forehead with my palm. "I kid, I kid." She smiled at me. Of course she looked more stunning today than I ever saw her. Her hair looked shiner and it blossomed with curls, pulled back in a lazy ponytail, her bangs going free. She showed her pearly whites.

"What do you think?" Bill asked. Bouncing up and down with excitement before she could actually say anything.

"Well if you shut up for a damn minute I'll tell you." She shot back at him, not missing a beat. He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for a reply. "Holysugartits!"

"Holy sugar what?" Bill asked confused. I just busted out laughing, that had to have been the funniest thing I've ever heard coming out of someone's mouth.

"Tits." Shilo clapped her hands together. "What did you do to her? She looks absolutely stunning!" I was still trying to catch my breath.

Bill chided me. "Try not to laugh so hard, the tears will ruin the eye makeup!" He swatted my hands away and fanned my eyes with his hand.

"Whoa!" Tom said, finally filing into the bathroom. I was starting to feel self conscious, since I haven't looked at myself in the mirror yet. "What did my twin do to you? It's like you're a mini Bill!"

I hopped off the counter and walked over to the sink, so I could take a look in the mirror. My eyes widened in shock, I barely even recognized myself. I looked like a little scene angel. My makeup was similar to Bill's, which was a heavy eye makeup and he had just simply teased my hair up a little in the back. I liked it.

"Well?" Bill asked. How could you tell him you hated something with a face he was giving me?

_I really do love it, I can barely recognize myself. _I stepped forward to give him a giant hug, but I felt bold and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down a bit, since I was so damn short. Well compared to Bill I was. He lifted me up and gave me a little spin, like the first day him and the gang came over to my house for the cookout. I even laughed some more.

"Get a room!" Shilo yelled out playfully. He glanced down at her cell phone. "Oh shit! We've done missed first period! I don't want to miss anymore, because I don't know about you guys but I like to have lunch." She gave my and Bill and little glare. I mean me and him were the only ones who missed lunch yesterday.

I threw my bag over my shoulder and placed my hand in Bill's, I gave him a rough yank towards the door. _Come on! _

"Pushy little thing aren't you?" He smiled. "Come on you guys! You complain about up being slow, then you guys stop to make out." Then he said quietly to me. "I'll never understand them."

"Oh quit your whining Bill." Shilo stated to him. She was great I swear she was.

After locking up the house, then unlocking it because Tom forgot his school bag, I mean how does one do that? He was going to school! These people amazed me sometimes. But that's alright, I didn't want to hang around normal people! I was glad I was stuck with them. After relocking the door, we all took off at a jog.

Four out of breath teenagers running down the sidewalk must be a horrendous sight! We even got a couple of whistling calls too. I'm just glad the school was close, because I was _not_ a runner! I hated to run. I couldn't even run the mile at school, it was more like walking the mile. The occasional talk break. I mean there is no way in hell am I going to be running around the school track four times without a stop.

We finally made it to the locked doors of the school, we had to push a button for the nasty office people to let us in. I held in a laugh when Shilo flipped them off when they weren't looking.

"Oh my god! I cant believe we're late again, Mom is going to kill us when she hears." Tom complained.

"Awh, someone's a mommies boy!" Shilo cooed, slinging her arm around his waist, pulling him close. "I'm glad my mom don't really care, but you know it has it's downs sometimes." There was a sad tone in her voice.

"It's ok, I know Angel." He kissed her neck. I had to look away because it felt weird to watch my friends exchange that gesture.

Bill squeezed my hand, grabbing my attention. "Max wont be mad that you're late again will he?" He was cute when he was concerned.

_He don't care as long as I'm going to school. _I smiled at him.

"Ok good, because I feel really bad making you…" Bill was cut off with the manly looking attendance office lady. Not the nice Mrs. Carti, her tag read: Ms. Delayney. No wonder she was single, she was absolutely sour! Was that mean to think about someone?

"No talking in the tardy line pretty boy!" She barked at Bill. He huffed but remained quiet, god that would get on my nerves if someone called me pretty boy. She wrote his name on a slip. "Kaulitz; detention!" She said slamming it into his chest.

"What do you mean detention?" He stuttered out. I take it he don't normally get detention then?

"Don't question the system Kaulitz, 2nd building." Second building must be where detention was held, that sounded deathly scary honestly.

I stepped up after Bill, getting my dry erase board ready, my name already on it for when she asked. "Name?" She drawled out, popping her cinnamon gum. It made me want to gag because I smelled it from her mouth. She peered at my board writing my name on the slip and then entering it in the computer. "Baker; detention!" She slammed it in my stomach.

_Detention? _I wrote on my board.

"You've been late twice in a row, that's called an automatic detention in our books." She smirked at me, like she thought she was better. I did a little Bill huff and rolled my eyes at her. "No eye rollin' that's not polite." She popped her gum. _Well you're not polite._ I wanted to say.

"Come one Abby." Bill slid his arm around my waist, guiding me out of the room. "We'll wait for Shilo and Tom out here, since they are most likely to get detention too."

_What about lunch? _I mouthed sadly. I didn't want to miss lunch today, I was already working up an appetite!

He laughed, hugging me to his chest. "Don't worry, all ISAP people eat lunch at the same time around 12:30 or so."

_ISAP?_

"Oh, that's what detention here is called, the attendance people call it detention to keep it old fashioned sounding for some reason."

_Makes sense. How long do you think we'll be in for?_

"You make it sound like prison or something!" He smiled down at me. "Don't worry lovely, it's only for the rest of the day."

I rolled my eyes. _That's ridiculous Billa. _I blushed when it came out, but lately I've been having strange urges to call him Billa. Hopefully he wouldn't notice. Oh yeah, Bill always notices.

"Did you just call me Billa?"

_Um yes?_

"Awh, don't be embarrassed! It's cute."

Tom walked out of the room laughing like a hyena. "Oh god Shilo, what you just did was hilarious I swear to god."

_What happened? _I mouthed to him.

Before he could answer me Shilo bustled through the door, very angry looking. "Stupid goddamned nasty ass school giving us their unfair punishments!" She was going on a rant, and if she weren't so mad I would have laughed at her crazy expressions playing on her face.

"She cussed out Delayney!" Tom laughed, as we walked towards the ISAP doors, extra slowly. "The bitch deserved it! I cant believe you guys didn't hear!" He caught his breath. "Shilo was just asking about why we had detention for only being late twice, and the bitch copped an attitude with her. Well you know how Shilo can get, she just let loose on her!" Tom seemed super proud to have her as a girlfriend.

Shilo waved a couple of pink slips in our direction. "2 Weeks worth of evening detention." She smirked. "It was totally worth it just to see that look on her face."

I laughed. Delayney had is coming to her.

We had to go out the side doors of the school, across from the main staircase to get to ISAP. In school appropriate punishment. There was a thick blanket of fog laying on the school grounds, and I most definitely couldn't see the sidewalk we were supposed to walk on to our punishment. Good think I trailed behind Bill, with my fingers through his belt loops. I didn't need to get lost in the scary fog.

So happens that the ISAP building was attached to the back of 2nd building, which made us all confused, especially since there were two doors. And the building was surrounded by a forest! Way to go people! Kids could just skip and take off in the woods while coming here. But no way would I do something like that! And with my luck I'd get caught worse than I did at my old school.

We were all walking in silence, because no one has ever been here before. When we finally made it, it was so quiet inside it was scary. I could hear us all breathing, and that wasn't good. Too much quiet freaked me out! We gave our papers to a hard looking middle aged guy with strikingly white hair. He was super toned and tan.

"Take a seat, each of you at a separate table."

I gave Bill's hand a final squeeze and turned to so sit at a round table off to the side… Boy was I nervous…

**:3 What did you guys think?**

**LYRICS :D**

**-This is what I brought you, this you can keep. This is what I brought, you may forget me. I promise to depart, just promise one thing. Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.**

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	8. Bonding in ISAP

**-I appologize for any grammatical errors I may have. I'm not perfect. : )**

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC**

**Lpwriter4life & SaVed By MuSiC got the song. Prelude- AFI**

Alien

Chapter 8: Bonding in ISAP

"My name is Mr. Whipple," The ISAP teacher started off. "And by the looks of you guys, I've never seen you in here before, so there are some ground rules I'd like to go through with you all. Once you guys finish this sheet," Sheet? He held up this thick packet. "I don't give a crap what you guys do next. Simple enough for you?" He was super intimidating, I really hope I wouldn't have to go here again.

He slapped the packet in front of me, and it gave the room a tremendous echo. I slouched at my table, resting my cheek in my hands. Rifling through it I saw things I never learned about. Biology was the first lesson, Math was the last one; thank god! Health, Art and then there was some creative writing to go through. Well it didn't seem too difficult. I was just going to get Biology out of the way.

I honestly wished I paid more attention in Bio back home, the sheet was about chromosomes and genes, then randomly about carrying capacity in a city. I diligently worked, barely making any noise with my blue ink pen. I was yawning before the dumb section was over, I mean seriously? I think my lowest grade was in Bio back home, so I didn't really expect myself to complete it right.

Bio was done within minutes, since I guessed on the gene box. Health was a synch, it was mainly talking about STD's and using protection, so I guess you could say it was more of an article than anything. It was super awkward learning about diseases and sex! I wanted to save creative writing for last, so my mind could loosen up a bit. It was my escape, besides writing in my journals and diaries.

Its safe to say I guessed on the Math section, since I didn't really know anything about Pre-Calc. All I did know is that it was super hard without a calculator! It took me about an hour to guess and bluff my way through. I chanced a glance at Bill, and it made me blush because he was already staring at me. _Almost done? _I played it off. It was cute when he was on the first page of his packet.

Creative writing was a blast, but that's just me. I loved to be creative, it freed my mind of any negative reminders of the past. Like _Him. _I shook my head violently, I was _not _going to have a panic attack about that man, around friends. I gave a shaky sigh, I knew I was going to be okay for now. It's getting better, my attacks. The last one I had one was at the twins' house, and I hope to god that'll be my last.

I read the directions, not really seeing them so I had to keep re-reading them. After the 6th or so time I understood. Ever happen to you? _Your scene is the ocean, make out of it what you will. Describe to me what you see when you look at it or place yourself in the setting, what are you doing? _The sheet said. This was going to be fun, since I've never been to the beach before.

So I wrote. _La Playa. Strand. La Plage. The beach. Whatever you may call it. It's so peaceful when I lay in the sand, letting the foamy water wisp at my bare legs, the feeling is delightful. I only come here in my mind, so it seems. An escape from my saddened state; here I can be anything, do anything. Right now? I choose to come to the beach, for I've never been in my mind. Ever._

_I wonder why? It's amazing. Usually I'm stuck in my American thoughts, at the graveyard visiting the deceased, thinking, wondering, always wishing. Those thoughts weren't tolerated here, I came to cleanse. Evil be gone. So I settled on the glorious sunset instead, warm colors ty-dyed in one. I can sigh in relief, nothing can get me here. My doubts vanish, things become invisible. Fears. Gone. _

_Seagulls caw, dolphins play shyly in the cool waters of the Atlantic, kids laughing on the near by rock mounds. Today is one of the greatest I've had in a while, too bad it isn't real. I wish things like this could be real, but to me it just didn't seem possible to exist. I had thin hope though, it kept me being going. And that's all it takes, hope. I finally have that now, and I give my friends all my thanks. To me a sunset isn't an end, it's the start of something new to come. As long as the sun rises, there is always something possible._

_Sunsets are calming, I love how it washes over my soaked form, revealing the stars that it hides in its glorious shine. Time to go, don't want my dad to worry. We all know he has worried too much over the years, no need to put more strain on his poor heart. I grab up my worn converse by the laces and stroll off into the darkness. Safe. Peace. Comfort. Home._

I drop my pen with a satisfied smirk. I knew I did good, and Danzig would love what I wrote. This would be the only time I'd ever sound full of myself, because frankly I knew I was good at this kind of stuff. But I wasn't going to gloat it to anyone, I hate people who did that, so why would I do it myself?

I stood from my seat, stretching and straightening out my back. It felt good to finally be about to move around, even though I was only setting for a few hours. I tossed the packet down on Mr. Whipple's desk and he gave me a warning glance. I rolled my eyes when I turned around. How could a man with such a silly last name be so intimidating? I was stopped short with my mental ranting with Shilo sitting at my table with a smug look on her face.

I pulled over a chair next to her, making tons of unwanted noise in the process. It made me blush, since I liked to be quiet. I dug my dry erase board out of my bag so I could write to her, since she couldn't read lips. To my surprise she talked first. Whipple had turned on the radio to some German rock station, so it wouldn't be quiet in here. I would actually have to lean towards Shilo to hear her. So that's good.

"Are you ready for this weekend?" She asked, with a wicked smile playing at her full lips. She had recently put on cotton candy lip gloss, because I could smell it. I loved the smell.

I nodded. _Have you decided whose house we'd be spending it at? :D It's going to be so much fun!_

She smiled at me, brushing her dark hair over her shoulder. "I'd like to come stay at your place, I think it'd be easier." When I gave her a questioning glance she continued talking. I mean she didn't have to, I didn't want to feel like I was intruding on personal matters. She noticed me worrying. "Ah, don't worry Abby, I don't mind talking about myself for a while." She winked at me, she was thoughtful, trying to feel in the silences and all.

I didn't mind, and this is when I knew she could be my girl best friend. She spilled her story to me, and didn't worry about my reaction because she had trust in me. Why couldn't I be more like that? More strong willed and uncaring of others thoughts? I would really feel better if I let it all out, but this wasn't about me, it was about Shilo.

"I just like to get away from my hectic house sometimes." She rolled her eyes. "Its weird to think my house is a personal hell hole. My mom is always drinking or doing some serious drugs and my dad is gone, they got a divorce when I was little, I barely remember him." She sighed, not really a sad sigh. "Not to mention my brother! He's a complete asshole, well not really, just a player." She rolled her eyes, trying to gauge my reaction.

I just had to know one thing. _How can you bare to talk about all this? _

It's like nothing hurt her on the outside. Why couldn't I be strong? "I can bare to talk about it because I know its real and happening, and in my eyes I could have had it so much worse you know?" I nodded. It could have been worse, she could have been through what I did. "I guess I was sort of sad and lonely before Tom came along, he's given me everything to look forward to. A good home to go to when I need. He'll never fail on me, unlike my own flesh and blood."

_You're too good of a person to have anything bad happen to. I don't know what I would do if I woke up and you weren't here. You're my girl best friend :D_

"Aren't you sweet?" She cooed. Then looked over my shoulder to the twins and sighed. "They are some slow mother fuckers aren't they?" I laughed, and they looked up highly confused. She stared at Tom. "That's right, we were talking about you guys." They way she said it, made it sound like a flirt.

"Baker!" Whipple yelled. "Leave them to do their work!"

"Yes sir!" She yelled back, with a little too much enthusiasm. "Dickhead." She muttered under her breath to me. I smiled. "Only a couple of minutes until lunch aren't you excited?"

I glared at the clock, a couple of minutes? _That's almost an hour until we go to lunch -_- I think I'm going to starve to death!_

Shilo had amusement in her eyes as she stared at the board. "I'm sure we'll think of something to do to fill the time before we go." She stopped to think for a second. "How about you tell me stuff about you? Here I am rambling about me."

I shook my head. _It's fine really :P_

"But I really want to get to know you Abby, you seem like such a nice person, if only I knew you a little better." I really wish I could tell her stuff about me. I will, but I'll have to keep it pretty simple.

_Okay : ) Um, I absolutely hate the quiet sometimes, I hate being alone, I hate dogs, and I'm lazy :D_

She smiled like we were making progress. "Wow, you seem to hate a lot, what are some things you love?" Now she was just curious.

_I love sunsets, star gazing, cats, my family, the present. I don't know really._

"I don't know if it's rude, but where's the rest of your family? Did they split up like mine?"

_Something like that. _I felt bad, but I couldn't talk about it just yet. See? I was just one big coward, I couldn't be like Shilo and just express myself, I had to care. I slouched deeper in my seat. Great.

"I get it dear, you don't want to talk about it." She gave a sad smile. "But you will someday right?" She asked. "Sorry to sound pushy, but you intrigue me, and I honestly want to help you."

_What makes you think I need help? _I wasn't getting snappy, it was really a question. And I'm glad I didn't make her mad, I couldn't lose her.

She shrugged. "I don't know, but I just want to let you know we're here for you ok? Bill can help too, between you and me I think he totally likes you." She smiled my way. "Tom could help too, but he's not really open, he'd probably make you feel a bit awkward." She said sadly. Wait what?

My head shot up at what she said about Bill. _What? _I mouthed. Too shocked to actually write it down.

"Tom would…" She trailed off when I raised my eyebrows alarmingly. "Chill girl, I was just playing." She laughed. "But, Bill totally does." She dropped her voice.

I shook my head, blush spreading across my whole face! I was probably the hue of a tomato! God that was embarrassing. No way could Bill like a nobody like me… There I go being in denial. There was a little nagging at the back of my mind; secretly I thought Bill liked me too. I was just too broken to come to terms with anything.

Shilo knew I was having an internal battle, but chose to change the subject. This whole group of friends could talk, and honestly for that I am grateful. It filled the silence that would be there if they didn't. She talked about how her and Tom met, a stroke of luck she says. Her car conveniently broke down in front of his house during a monster tornado weather night. They took her for a fan and wouldn't talk to her, but eventually Simone convinced them otherwise.

Tom apparently only had eyes for her, and by the looks of them now, I definitely believed her. Bill on the other hand hasn't had a girlfriend since she's known them, and its been quite a long while. So Bill isn't gay! Just really handy with makeup, and dressed feminine. What's wrong with that? It actually made my heart swell a bit, knowing I may have an actual chance with him.

The better question was, would I let him break me down enough to get to know me? Yeah, I didn't even know that answer. It'd be cool though, I haven't had a boyfriend, or anything to that nature since Jaimie. He's been my only one I've ever had. It'd be cool for a change. Ugh, I don't even know why I'm getting full of myself, I know I'm going to be thinking differently later.

"Why so down?" Shilo prodded. I didn't blame her, I stayed perfectly tucked in my impossible shell.

_Just thinking. _I wrote. _How different everything has become since I've came here… it's changed for the better, and I'm glad. _I smiled as she finished reading with a grin of her own.

"I'm glad moving here helped change your life around for the better." She said, tying up her hair in a bun. God I hated when girls did that, in 7th grade I sat behind this girl named Megan, and that's all she did was tie her hair in a bun every two seconds.

The only aspects of my life that are changing are in the friend department. Everything else sucked for me. But hopefully things would be improving soon! I smiled.

"Whoa! Random smiles! Is that a good thing?" I nodded with a laugh. "I've noticed that too, you laugh now." The topic changed quick though. "I know it may seem rude, but does it ever get hard not talking?" Her voice was sincere.

_Absolutely not…_ I wasn't going to tell her that not talking was saving lives. Confused? Yeah, it's a long story. Will you hear about it? Maybe.

"You're going to be hard to crack aren't you?" She asked. "Sorry again, I'm just used to predicting people, and what their all about. Sorry."

_Quit apologizing :P I'm just not that open of a person, not even my therapist got me to talk, so don't feel bad._

I could see the gears turning in her head, I just hope she wasn't judging me. "It's ok dear, I guess you'll open up in time."

_I hope, that's all I want…_

"Aww! Sorry but I really want to hug you right now!" She wrapped her arms firmly around me and I propped my head on her shoulder, Bill was giving me a wtf look. But I just gave him a confused stare, what brought all this on? She didn't stop squeezing until I hugged her back.

_Why did you just give me a random hug?_

"Because I know you're hurting, and your scared, and I just felt that you needed a big hug!" Well Shilo was secretly a giant teddy bear. She held up a tough front in front of people she didn't know well or didn't care to know, but with her friends she totally melted.

_Thank you, you are seriously amazing!_

"Not as amazing as you of course!"

I rolled my eyes. _We might as well settle this now, because this can go on forever!_

"Okay, how about we're equally amazing?" She laughed when I gave a small smile and nodded. "Good!" She thought about our next topic. "Tell me about your old school, I see your class ring you have, was it like this place?" She seemed eager to know about the world around her.

_Ah, I got my class ring early since I knew I was going to be moving. But my school was a huge joke, once I stopped talking everyone turned on me. It was super tough._

"Awh, I know how that is! At least you're here now with people who care about you. And never once doubt us, because no matter what happens we'll _always_ be here for you." She smiled, giving my shoulder a firm squeeze.

I nodded, but continued writing about my old school. _The only electives we had there was Art and dumb stuff, it was a total bore._

"How'd you do in art? I bet you're a little artist! You look like one!" She cooed.

My body froze, I should have never brought up art class. Worst experience that _ever _happened to me. Reason why I'm the way I am. Abby! Get a hold of yourself! My breaths were coming faster, and… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6... I counted, and you know what? I just stopped my own panic attack from happening! I stomped my foot and banged my fist on the table. I was excited.

"Baker!" Whipple yelled my way. "We aren't cheering for a football game here!" He sneered sarcastically at me, then went back to reading his dumb playboy magazine. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was definitely not allowed.

I rolled my eyes and Shilo giggled. "What was that whole table slapping thing?" She asked curiously.

I mind as well start off with the truth, no matter how broken and retarded she may think I am. It's better than lying I suppose. _I just stopped a panic attack from happening…_

"A panic attack? But I just asked you about…" She stopped like she hit a brick wall. _Art. _Yeah. She put on a chipper mood. "Its big news for you huh? Ever done it before?"

_Hah, it's my first time stopping a panic attack, and I'm proud of myself. :D :D :D Like you have no idea!_

She smiled a wide smile, but she didn't talk because Whipple's loud voice sliced through the giant room. "Okay you awful kids. Its time for lunch, when you all get back I don't care, just do whatever as long as you stay in the room. And if Officer Daniels comes nosing around, pretend to be doing something productive, ok?"

They all chorused and I just nodded my head. God, he was an awful teacher, maybe that's why he don't teach actual classes? Who knows, I was probably on the ball somehow.

Bill latched to me from behind in a hug. "Ready Lovely?" He whispered in my ear, giving my whole body goosebumps. I nodded.

Ugh, here we go! I wondered how many people had our lunch? Boy was I nervous!

**:3**

**What did you all think? Well this was just Shilo and Abby bonding sorta :D**

**LYRICS :D**

**- Cos dire times call for dire faces, so lovely dancer call a dancer, trade our places in the night, Were running barefoot you and I, Dead lovers salivate, Broken hearts tessellate tonight.**

**REVIEW and I'll give you a cyber cupcake? :D and I'll put your name in my authors note at the beginning :D**


	9. He apologized?

**-How is summer going along for you all? My goal is to finish this story before August 15****th**** :3**

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC**

**Shaker10 got the song. Tessellate- Tokyo Police Club**

Alien

Chapter 9: He apologized?

I swear to all that was good Bill was the sweetest guy in the world. Walking out of the ISAP building he held open the door for me and let me wear his jacket since it started to pour down raining. I wanted to protest because I didn't want him to catch a cold, but his exact words were _you mean more to me, so please take the jacket. _I've never been so awed before, I'm not used to the feeling, but I hope it doesn't stop. I feel like I'm being greedy with the feeling of hope, but I couldn't help it. It felt so good!

Tom held Shilo's bag as we waited for her to come out of the bathroom, I guess the Kaulitz men were gentlemen. They were adorable. Students were giving me and Bill weird looks since he had his arm draped around my side, his hand casually resting on my hip. His thumb rubbing soft circles on my slightly exposed flesh. It tickled slightly, but more of in a good way. I loved how close we were, it made me feel wanted. It's something I thought I'd lost a long time ago.

The school halls were super dark downstairs and on the 3rd floor, but in the 2nd floor it was super bright. That didn't make any sense to me. Probably because the 2nd hallway was used more? Ah, there I go rambling on about school lighting. I swear you'll never know what you might find me thinking about up here, it got pretty weird most times. I scold myself internally for being so off topic.

I let the scent of Bill's jacket calm my nerves, which were raging out of control. I was being super nervous about going into the lunch room. Like how was I going to give my lunch number? As far as I was concerned it was the same as my old school; 2685. I could get Bill to say it for me, or I could just hold up my fingers? I was at a total loss since I didn't bring my dry erase board with me. Bill was going to have to be my voice for me.

"Don't look so scared lovely." Bill spoke gently to me. Tom's eyebrows rose at the use of the word 'lovely' but that was the least of my concern right now. I only latched on to Bill tighter as a huge group of football players trudged their scary selves towards the food. Bill laughed. "They wont mess with you. Promise." And his voice was so sincere, I could only believe him.

_Will you give them my lunch number? Since I oh so smartly left my board in the ISAP room._ I brushed my hair out of my face so I could see Bill more clearly.

"Yes I will, as long as you loosen your grip. I do breathe you know." He said in mock sarcasm. I pushed him gently, to let him know I was joking back.

Tom rolled his eyes, and had a smirk present. Like he found us amusing. "The line must me super long in the bathroom. She'd better hurry, I'm starving!"

Bill scoffed. "I'll bet you if you leave Shilo while she's in there she'd kick your wannabe gangster ass!" He teased.

"Why do you think I haven't left? Besides I don't mind waiting for her." Tom said sweetly, then changed his tone. "Please! I am straight up gangster!"

That made me do this horrible snorting sound, well it was supposed to be a laugh, but it caught in my throat. I coughed viciously, while laughing, it was sort of like I was choking. Bill was laughing right along with me. "You ok there Abby?" He sighed contently when his laughs died down.

_If I was choking, you'd laugh? _My eyebrows shot up in question. I was just playing around with him, because once my mom choked on gum balls, but I didn't know she was being serious, and I couldn't stop laughing.

There was pain on Bill's face, I guess he didn't know I was joking. "Nein! I mean, it wasn't funny, but then you were laughing, and gott Tom was funny." He pouted, crossing his arms sadly around my body. I sighed as I hugged him back, he was clingy wasn't he? And as you already know, I didn't mind.

I gave his side a little pinch, and he yelped in surprise. _I'm just playing around silly!_ He looked relieved.

Shilo came out of the bathroom, snatching her bag quickly away from Tom. She seemed like she was pissed for some reason, I knew better than to question her moodiness. Everyone had their days, and today looked like it was hers. She gave me an apologetic smile and tugged Tom away after giving him a peck on the cheek.

Once they were out of earshot Bill whispered quietly to me. "Don't mind her, she's having really bad problems at home right now. She's in the process of moving in with us."

Wow, Shilo living next door? That would be super cool to get to see her more often. _Awh, once she moves, everything will get better for her. You think so?_

He gave my arm a gentle squeeze. "I hope so." He said sadly. "She used to be so happy, and now she's sometimes plain mean."

_I like her though. _I pouted.

Bill's eyes sparked, and something flashed in them. It made me feel so alive. He just nodded. "I like her too, and I'm glad Tom found her, they are so happy together!" He exclaimed. We stopped just short of the cafeteria doors. He released his arm from around my waist. "Just in case. I don't want those fan girls to get a hold of you." He smiled faintly.

I gave a confused look. _We've walked holding hands the other day. And besides, I think I can handle fan girls. _If I talked, I would have been sarcastic.

He took my hand in his. "If you really think so?"

I nodded. He gave a great smile before leading us through the giant doors to the giant room. And it was like one of those bad movies where it goes dead quiet. As soon as people caught sight of me and Bill holding hands whispers erupted. My cheeks blushed red heavily, I knew so because I could feel my face getting really hot. I caught a few of the whispers going to the lunch line, which was a pretty far distance from the doors.

"_Oh my god!" "Awh, look at her blush, she's adorable!" "Oh ew! They aren't even cute together!" "But I wanted to date Bill! He's so sexy!" "Isn't she mute?" "I wonder where she's from?" "I'd bang her." "Oh, America?" "… gorgeous eyes." "I thought he was a faggot?" "Faggot isn't nice.. Gay more like it." "She's so tiny compared to him and he's fucking small!" "Anorexic?" "Just because they hold hands don't make it legit dumb ass!" "She's gorgeous, too bad she don't talk, I'd make her scream my name…" _People were perves, so I just tried to block the rest of them out of my mind.

We met up with Tom and Shilo at the back of the line. "People are unbelievable! I should be able to hold hands with my best friend if I want, without these jerks saying dumb stuff about it." He huffed. I pulled my hand free and took it in both of mine. I rubbed soothing circles on his knuckles.

_Don't let them get to you. _I smiled, looking into his eyes. _I've not talked for a long time, and the thing that I learned most is to block them out. _

He brought our hands to his lips and gently kissed the back of my hand, never breaking eye contact with me. "I know lovely, but sometimes its just so hard. Most of the time I think I'm going to reach my boiling point. And that isn't good for my image."

_Don't worry about your image, just be yourself, and if people cant accept that, then they weren't true fans. Plenty of people love you Bill._

He laughed. "It's so much simpler said than done I'm afraid."

"Yo Kaulitz!" A deep voice boomed from behind me. I turned to find a tall and slender looking guy. He was dressed in loose blue jeans, converse and a plain black tight shirt. His hair was long and shaggy black, reaching to about his shoulders.

"Oh jeez." Bill muttered before the guy stepped next to us.

"And who might this be?" He said in a mock sweet tone, looking down at me. This guy seemed to be like a royal ass. His personality was shot to hell and he only had his looks going for him.

"This is Abby." Bill said, short and sweet.

"Well, can't Abby answer for herself?" He said sarcastically. And if I could, I would honestly cuss him out right now. God he was a jerk.

"Clearly not, she doesn't talk you asshole." Bill was getting fed up with him. I would have to ask him about that later.

"Can't or won't?" He challenged. "Besides the point, I know you guys aren't dating. You're gay right?"

Bill fumed. "I'm _not _gay!"

"Why don't you fuck off Jake?" Shilo cut in then, and she didn't look like she was going to mess around. She looked deadly.

"Oh go screw Tom." He spat at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Why wont you leave my friends alone? Oh! Don't have any of your own to talk to?"

"You're a bitch." He stated simply.

"Whoa! Nice come back Jay!" She said sarcastically. "Now leave me and my friends the fuck alone."

"Whatever you say darling." He said sweetly before bounding away as quick as he came.

_Who the fuck was that? _I said up to Bill.

Shilo huffed and threw herself into Tom's happily waiting arms. "Ah, that's Jake, Shilo's brother."

_What's his problem? _I asked, as we slowly moved up a fraction of a step.

"I have no clue." He said sadly. "He just hates me I guess." Poor guy. He honestly didn't want people to hate him, he was going to have to realize that not everyone in this true blue world were nice. I learned that the hard way.

_If it makes you feel better, if I talked, I would have cussed him out for you. I was seriously about to punch him in his face. He is awful!_

Bill blushed. "Awh really? As menacing as that sounds, that's sweet of you lovely." He scooted me so I was in front of him, and ushered me into the lunch line doors. "But to make things better, Jake wasn't here yesterday, and we have most classes with him." He sighed sadly.

I turned around to Bill, letting my lower back hit into the counter. _Don't let him get to you okay? _

"Remember what I said. It's not as easy as it seems." He handed me a tray. "What's your lunch number?"

_Twenty-six Eighty-five._ I mouthed distractedly grabbing a slice of cheese pizza. I heard Bill laugh next to me.

"Try that again, but looking at me this time." I blushed but re-did it for him. "Glad to see you have an appetite though, you seriously are too skinny."

I rolled my eyes. _I don't see how, I eat like a man sometimes._ They didn't really have anything good, so I stuck with pizza and some French fries. I was going to eat a whole lot when I get home, then probably sleep. See? I told you I was a lazy person.

I waited out in the noisily bright cafeteria as Bill recited to the lunch lady my number. "He's only using you, you know that right? I bet you're his cover up." I turned to find Jake leaning casually next to me.

I gave him the dirtiest look I could muster and flipped him off with the hand I wasn't using to carry my food. This only made him smirk. "Ah, so you're a feisty one aren't you?" I just continued to stare up at him with a death glare. I may like Shilo, but I sure as hell cant stand her brother. "Wow, you really can't talk can you?" I gave him a duh look. Where the hell was Bill?

"Well if that's the case, I'm sorry for making fun of you." He said, he had so much sincerity in his voice I didn't know what to think about that.

Bill bounded out of the lunch line then with an irritated expression on his face, probably from those awful lunch ladies. They could be a handful at times. His expression caught on Jake's looming form next to my tiny one, and he glared. "Go the fuck away." Bill said slowly, lowly and angry. It was always weird to hear Bill cuss.

Jake put up his hands in surrender. "Just telling her something." He smirked, before joining the crowd in the line.

Bill wrapped his arm around my waist and guided us to an empty table off to the side of the room, where there wasn't that many people crowded. What Jake said made me wonder. Was Bill only using me as a cover up? I mean Shilo said she didn't think Bill was gay. And hopefully that's the truth. But it kept nagging at me, and I was just confused.

"What's troubling you? Did Jake say something to you that upset you?" I just gave a sad excuse of a shrug. All of a sudden I wasn't in the mood anymore. "What did he say lovely?" He tried, in a sad voice.

_Are you using me?_ There. I said it, and now it's out in the open.

He sucked in a sharp breath. "He said that?" What was even scarier was that his voice held no emotion whatsoever.

I slightly nodded. I didn't want to start an argument here. No need to argue over something like that.

"Look at me." He gently caressed my cheek and brought my face to his, making me look up at him. "Listen to me when I say this. I will never _ever _use you okay? It makes me sick when people use each other to gain something."

_I believe you. _I said, placing my hand on the side of his face. We were a weird pair of best friends! I bet if people saw us right now, they'd think we were about to kiss. And I bet people were staring at us anyways.

"I'll never lie to you ok?" He smiled.

_I'll never lie to you either, I honestly hate liars._

"Now eat your food. Lunch is about to be over, and food isn't permitted in the 2nd building. There was a bad mice problem earlier this year, it was pretty gross." He took a huge bite from his pizza. You'd think he'd be dainty, but you'd be wrong.

_You expect me to eat now? You just told me a nasty story about mice! _I laughed. I picked up a fry and popped it in my mouth. He laughed just then. I told you I could eat, no matter what. The food wasn't that bad, the fries were gross but it didn't stop me from eating them.

"Want my milk?" Bill asked. I glanced down at his carton, it looked almost empty. But secretly school chocolate milk was my favorite kind to drink. I nodded and took a hold of it, sipping happily.

Shilo and Tom came out of nowhere then and took a seat across from us at the circular table. "Ew you're drinking after Bill?" Shilo questioned.

"Oh shut it. Your brother has gotten me in one of those moods." Bill said, not taking crap from anyone. My heart swelled, I must me an exception, since he was just in a good mood when it was just us. I took pride in that.

Shilo just rolled her eyes and looked at me. "I saw you guys talking by the line exit. Looked like he upset you real good to, with the middle finger you threw him…"

Bill cut her off. "You gave Jake the middle finger?" He exclaimed. I nodded towards him, but kept my attention on Shilo. Bill sounded so proud.

She huffed, losing her patience with Bill. "I was just wondering what he said to you?" Bill nudged my leg, probably to keep the whole 'Bill's using you' thing out of what he said.

I reached out for her binder, she got the idea and handed me a piece of paper and a purple inked pen. _He just apologized to me. _I wrote.

She gasped. "Dead serious?" I nodded. "Hmm, that's so weird. I've never known him to apologize to anyone before." She sat there stunned for a second. "Apologize for what exactly?"

_Making fun of me._

"Sounds like he's starting to have a conscious now." Tom stated rather confused. "Really weird, because I've known him for a long time, and he's a serious jerk face."

"Just stay away from him ok? I usually don't boss my friends around, but its for your own good ok?" Shilo said, I cant believe she was going to care about me like that. It was so sweet of her.

I nodded and laid my head on Bill's shoulder then huddled deeper into his jacket. I was all of a sudden cold. My body got like that sometimes, it could be super hot outside and I'd be freezing the worst. He wrapped his arm around me; comforting. I tried not to think about it, because honestly what was I doing? I was cuddling, holding hands, and having moments with a guy who I wasn't even dating. My head was a mess. What did this even mean?

Is it bad I didn't even want to think about it because I was so content with just this? Our friendship with all the touching and holding. It was pretty great, it felt good to feel wanted. I'm going to stop rambling, because I'm confusing even myself.

XxX

Me and Bill were hanging out in his room before dinner again. My dad must really like Simone if he keeps busying himself over here so often. Bill thinks he likes her too, and thinks its gross because old people aren't supposed to be doing young people stuff. Don't you just love his explanations?

In my opinion, my dad just should quit dating all together. I couldn't handle all the women he's been through, it hurts to think about, because I'll only know my mom as a real mother. He seems to act different around Simone though, and if he really does like her, he'd better clean up his act. I actually enjoyed Simone, so that was good.

"We still need to talk lovely." Bill whispered into my ear. I was laying on my stomach on his bed, he was on his back next to me. I raised onto my elbows and gave him a questioning look. "You cut right?" My eyes unfocused a bit from the forwardness of the question.

_Sometimes._ I stated sadly. All of a sudden I felt really small and vulnerable. I was scared of what he was going to think about me. Would he judge me harshly?

"Why do you do it?" He said sadly, looking at the ceiling, then adjusting his eyes on me, so he can see what I have to say.

_It's stupid, but I've no other way to cope, it seems. _

"Coping from what?" He said innocently.

_The reason why I don't talk. And before you say anything, I honestly think it's impossible to talk about for me… I'm so weak._ My voice would have wobbled if I could talk. He didn't press the cutting either, I liked that.

"You aren't weak. You're just scared of what people will think of you right?"

_I don't know… All I know is, it's tough to talk about. Like if I mention it, I'll re-live it. And I really don't want to Billa._

He gave a sad smile at the nickname I gave him. "Was it really that bad?" He asked, in a small voice, I almost didn't hear it. Almost like he didn't want to hear my answer. And I didn't blame him.

I gave him a worried glance. _It was horrible. It left me in a coma for over a year. _Tears threatened to fall, but I held them back.

He leaned up on his elbows. "Will you tell me when you're ready? I'll be here for you every step of the way." His brown eyes sparkled as he kissed the tip of my nose, almost like he was scared to kiss my lips. I would like that.

_I wont be ready for a long time though. If I can help it, I'd rather not talk about it at all._

He rubbed soothing circles on my cheeks. Moving his thumbs over the bottom of my lip, I felt them part with his pressure on them. "I wont pressure you lovely. But someday I wish to hear your beautiful voice."

I honestly hope that one day I'll be able to grant that wish…

**:3**

**Ah, I hope it isn't too boring? **

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**- I don't believe in fairytales, too cynical. Everybody stop and stare, I let it go.**

**[their short lyrics DX]**

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	10. Cancellations

**-I decided to fast forward to the weekend. :]**

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721 The song was Forever or Never by Cinema Bizarre**

Alien

Chapter 10: Cancellations

*The weekend*

I was at the store swimsuit shopping. That's literally what its called too, 'the store,' there are some very original people out there. And before you say anything, I know what your thinking, Abby Baker clothes shopping? I'm only in this position because Shilo insisted on swimming at my house when she came over and I didn't have a swim suit. And it's not technically clothes.

I loathed swimming actually. With the lack of clothes and the excessive scars on my body, bathing suits didn't really mix with me. But I've decided to suck it up and try something new. I was looking for a two piece, the kind with the halter top and the shorts? And covered my stomach completely. My stomach was the worst, I have a huge burn from where I was 'pushed' into a kiln in art class. My belly was pierced until that incident. It was super gross.

I've let far too much slip out of my mind, and it hardly bothered me. No panic attacks or anything, one step closer to recovery. I shook the thoughts from my mind just to make sure, I did _not _want to make a scene in the middle of the store. I've had that happen before, but back when I was practically catatonic. I could barely remember anything, but I guess that's the ups.

I came alone, because I could shop a lot quicker. I was browsing very colorful swimsuits, since I wanted a change from the black and boring look, what my dad calls it. I was a medium in the suits, because they fit a bit snuggly, and I was _not _squeezing into a small. They had boring ones to choose from, but I was going to have to deal with it because I didn't feel like going anywhere else.

I felt the need to buy a purple suit, I don't know why. Purple didn't really stand out much and I just plain loved the color. I rifled through the purple ones and found a pretty one with black trim on it, along with some black short swim shorts. I sighed deeply. Its not like I could so swimming with a long sleeved shirt and jogging pants. People would suspect the wrong things. And I hate being asked questions.

I was honestly fearing swimming, but with Shilo it felt okay, since I knew she wouldn't judge me. My legs were super scarred, but I wasn't going to let that get in the way of my new life, and having fun for once. I tossed the suit into my hand basket and started walking towards the front of the store to pay. I'm glad it wasn't crowded, I hated long lines and people. Yeah its mainly people in general that bug the crap out of me.

"Hope you had a fun time shopping, you find everything to your liking?" Asked the cashier. She looked to be a high school student, she had long blonde and bouncy hair and an angelic look to her. I only nodded while she rung up my stuff I handed over my dads credit card and took my bag. "Have a nice day!" she called at my retreating form.

Glad I have shopping out of the way. I took off at a fast paced walk out of there, I couldn't wait to get my weekend officially started.

XxX

"Abby!" Bill yelled from his window as I was walking past his pretty looking house. Oh god, that's embarrassing. "Come in, I have to tell you something!" I really don't think I should since I'm supposed to be waiting for Shilo. Whatever he had to tell me looked really important though, so I complied.

I didn't bother with knocking on the door, I just let myself in. That was one of Simone's rules, I wasn't allowed to knock because she wanted me to feel like family. It was always weird just walking into someone else's house though; eerie feeling. But it would take me a while to get used to it, I never even just walked right in to my old best friends house. And we were super close.

I sat my shopping bag on the kitchen counter and raised myself onto the counter to wait for Bill. My feet were killing me from all the walking I've been doing today. The store wasn't too far away from my house, but it's far enough to kill your back and feet. I rested my head on the cabinet door. I felt all hot and sticky, I cant wait to finally jump in the pool. I haven't been swimming yet.

Today will be more bonding time with just me and Shilo. No boys allowed. It sounds like a fun time, I haven't had a sleepover since before the accident happened. It will be perfect to get to know her a little more. Too bad my fun thoughts were crushed when Bill sauntered through the kitchen walkway looking a bit troubled.

"Shilo said she wont be able to sleepover with you, since her and Jake are staying here tonight." I quirked my eyebrows as he came to stand between my legs, resting his arms on both of them. "Her mom is going into rehab for a while and Simone said while they stay here they aren't allowed out."

_So I'm guessing that means I'm going to spend my weekend alone? I was seriously looking forward to it._ I gave a small sigh, brushing some damp hair from my face. I cant believe how hot it was!

Bill smirked. "You aren't getting off the hook that easily. Mom never said you couldn't come and stay over, that is if you want to?"

I cocked my head to the side. _I might have to think about that one actually. _I rolled my eyes.

He smiled. "I have a feeling if you could talk, that'd be sarcasm?"

_Most definitely._

"So will you stay the night tonight?" He asked, pleading even. "I'm sure everyone would like that."

_Well I'm not going to say no silly, I like you guys too much for that. _I smiled.

"Good, because they should be here any minute." He gave a frustrated sigh. "I really don't want Jake in my house, he does nothing but torment me."

_He cant be that bad can he? He apologized to me, won't he do the same to you?_

He let out an angry sigh. "Trust me, he hates me. He must have a soft spot for you though… Once when Tom and Shilo started dating he stole my cat and turned it loose near the Autobahn highway and never saw him again." He must have really loved his cat, he sounded so sad.

_If he bugs you too much I'll beat him up for you. _I stated clearly. I really would do anything for Bill to make him in the smallest bit happier. He just rolled his eyes and snorted. _Would Shilo mind if I gave him a right hook?_

He grew serious, and put both hands on my overheated sweaty face. "Oh gott, your being serious aren't you?" I nodded. "As funny as it sounds to see Jake being beat up by a girl, I don't want to see you getting into trouble okay?" He finished off.

_Fiiine. _I drawled out. _But if he crosses the line I'm going to kick his ass. _I wasn't really a fighter, but if you messed with the people I cared about you were messing with me. And I would stick up for them, fighting or not.

He rolled his eyes and gave me a lingering kiss on the cheek. "What's in the bag you brought with you?" He changed the subject.

_Me and Shilo were supposed to go swimming, but she canceled. I guess I bought a swimsuit for no reason. _I shrugged hanging him the paper shopping bag it was nestled in.

"Nonsense!" Bill exclaimed, pulling my suit out of its bag. "Abby this is so pretty! You'll look so lovely in it. And we can still go swimming, because as far as I know, Shilo will have swim wear with her." He said happily.

_Good! It's so hot in Germany, I guess I'm used to the cold. Our summers never really got hot, even then I'd stay inside most of the time. _I was going to feel really embarrassed hopping off of the counter, I think my shorts clad legs are getting stuck to the counter.

Bill smiled at me. "Looks like your in dire need of a pool huh?"

I rolled my eyes. _And a foot rub! You should massage my feeties! _I wiggled my feet, wrapping my legs around the back of his, pulling him closer.

He smirked, pulling me into a hug. "There is no way in hell I'm massaging your feet!" He said.

Tom rumbled to a stop in the entrance of the kitchen, and I quickly untied my legs from around Bill's body. I was blushing fiercely, and the looks of Bill so was he, he was standing next to my legs now. "Am I uh, interrupting anything?" Tom asked. He wasn't trying to embarrass us, he genuinely thought he had walked in on a moment between us. Yeah, I wish.

Bill gave an awkward cough. "No you didn't, why?"

Tom scooted himself towards the fridge. "Shilo is hungry and I wanted to surprise her with some food for when she got here."

_How sweet. _I mouthed to Bill.

"Abby said you're too sweet!" He cooed to his brother. "What are you going to fix her?"

"Ham sandwich." Tom said slyly and I busted out laughing. This got Tom going too, he couldn't catch his breath as he was setting the items down next to me.

Bill stopped his bare foot against the linoleum. "What's so funny about ham sandwiches? I'm beginning to think you guys are letting me out of the circle here." He pouted, leaning an elbow on my leg.

"Oh nothing." Tom said in a mischievous tone. Then he looked at me with a sorry look. "Can you get off the counter please? I need working room, I like to keep my women fed good!"

I rolled my eyes but before I could make a jump for it, Bill was in front of my with his hands around my hips and he pulled me off. Oh god it was embarrassing! My legs made a disgustingly sick sound as they were being removed from the surface. And boy did that hurt! When he sat me on my feet I had a giant wedgie. I played it off as I squirmed a bit.

I wiped off the counter for Tom. "Thanks." He muttered to me. I nodded in acknowledgement. He didn't really like to keep conversation up with me, but I didn't really mind, I'd rather it be silent. Less awkward.

XxX

It was a couple more hours until Shilo and Jake got there, but that didn't stop Tom from fixing her a sandwich. She looked so grateful to have gotten food, according to her she hadn't eaten all day. Which was saying something since it was close to five in the afternoon. The days were passing by quickly. I was glad.

I gave Shilo a loose hug as she stepped into the kitchen, not in tow with her brother, he must be in the living room. Hopefully we would get the sleeping arrangements down pat. Because my body was so sore, I think I needed to sleep in a bed tonight. Since Bill refused to massage my feet. A smile tugged at my lips. He made me happy. I wonder if he realized that?

"Abby! I'm so sorry I had to cancel our sleepover…" She trailed off, I hope she wasn't thinking I'd get mad at her.

I took out my little note pad I hid in the back pocket of my shorts. _It's not your fault Shy, and I'm going to stay here, so maybe we can all have some fun. : )_

"Awh, you are a cutie!" She sang, throwing me in her arms again. Jake rounded the corner and scoffed. Shilo whipped her head so fast towards him. "Don't you even start!"

He held his hands up in surprise. "I'm not always the bad guy sis. I was only coming in to say hello to the guys." He took a look at Bill and Tom. "Hey all." He said, if I knew any better I'd say he was a nice person. It's clearly a mask.

"Bullshit." Shilo muttered under her breath. Then to a nicer tone to everyone else. "Whose ready to get this swimming on?" She smiled widely.

I was quite nervous, because there was going to be people looking at my exposed skin. I mean it was no different than what I was wearing now I guess. Short shorts and a tank top. I shook my thoughts clear as I was stripping in the guest bedroom, where I was going to be sleeping later on tonight.

I shimmied out of my shorts and into the swim ones, they were only a few inches shorter than my jean shorts. And the halter top swim thing caught me off guard. It came down to where my belly button was, people could see a few inches of exposed skin until the shorts started. I didn't like it one bit. I stared at myself in the mirror for a while, I wanted to cry.

My exposed skin was red and jagged looking from where the kiln came in contact with it. I just wish it would fade away completely, but I already knew it wouldn't. It's been there for years. I kept trying to pull my top down, but it was the stretchy material and it kept going back to my belly button. Too much skin. Too many scars.

I threw open the door before I could object. New start. New things. I didn't want to be a party pooper, and besides I've been dreaming about jumping into the pool almost all week. It wasn't going to be easy facing everyone alone, with my body out in the open like that. I quickly wrapped a giant fluffy towel around my body tightly.

"Sunscreen?" Asked Jake, coming up next to me in the hallway. I just shook my head and continued on towards the kitchen. He gave a sigh. "You can talk to me you know, well I mean that I can read lips." He seemed nervous around me.

I turned my head. _That so?_

"Yes, _that's so._ Do you think we'll have a good time today? It's pretty hot out there, one of the worst days I've seen since I moved here." He fidgeted with the sunscreen in his hands. Was he seriously going to talk to me about the weather? That's super casual. Was he up to something? Or maybe he was trying to make it up to me, by being nice?

I humored him. _I had to walk home in the heat from the store, not even the air conditioning was cooling me off._

"Good thing were about to go swimming huh?" He pushed a lock of his messy black hair behind his studded ears. Why was I making him nervous? There has to be something on my face. I felt around. Nothing that I knew of.

_Why are you being so nice? True that I don't know you too well, but you aren't normally like this. _We were stalled in the kitchen, just staring at each other awkwardly.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to be good for Shilo's benefit, I'm pretty sure she's taking everything so much worse than me. She don't need me as a pain to her anyways. So for now. I'm going to be a good guy."

I quirked an eyebrow at him. _I find that hard to believe. _He was standing so close to me that our bodies were inches apart. I did find him intimidating, and from the looks of it he knew. Was he going to hold that over me?

"Hey Abb…" Bill's voice trailed off as he saw me and Jake standing so close to each other. "Umm?" He was definitely awkward.

Jake gave a short laugh, and my hand a good squeeze before taking himself and that damn suntan lotion outside. "What was all that about?" Bill asked. His cheeks tinged a pink, like he was caught spying on something. He sounded vaguely jealous?

_He was just talking about how he's trying to be the 'nice guy' for Shilo's sake. _I rolled my eyes as Bill took my hands in his.

"Please don't mess with him, I promise you that no matter how charming he may seem, no matter how sweet he acts. He will deceive you." His face was serious. Could one person sound so evil? It must be true.

_I mean, I cant flat out ignore him, but I promise you this, is that I wont trust him, wont listen to him and I wont do things for him. Okay? _I smiled up at Bill.

"Sounds good to me." He said. "And I'm not trying to control you, it's just that you're new here, and he's always up for a challenge. And right now, he see's you as hard to get."

_Whoa! What do you mean? He cant like me! No way in hell. _I was freaking out, maybe that's why he was acting so weird around me.

"I mean why shouldn't he like you? Have you met yourself?" He said, sounding super cute and shy.

_I have. Sadly._

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I might put you through on some Bill therapy!" He exclaimed. "Whatever it takes to help you." He added.

I just shook my head. _Ready to get out there and have some fun?_

"I thought you'd never ask! All this heat is killing me!" He said, sounding way too over dramatic. I rolled my eyes and tossed off my towel on the porch steps. Bill let go of my hand and took off at a fast sprint towards the pool and threw himself head first inside. I was immediately jealous.

I clambered my way towards the diving board, and self consciously kept my arms on my belly, trying to cover my past. Everyone was cheering me on to jump, Shilo wanted me to do a cannonball, Bill wanted a flawless dive, Tom didn't care as long as I jumped. And then you had Jake, he was sitting alone in the shallow end, being anti social from everyone.

I sighed and collected my thoughts, I was going to try to dive head first in. I held my arms over my head awkwardly, I've never done it before. I hopped twice on the diving board before hitting the water. I hit in a belly flop probably sending a huge wave everywhere. Making my way above water I couldn't help but laugh.

So much for flawless.

**:3**

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**- So sick of the hobos always begging for change. I don't like how I gotta work and they just sit around and get paid. I hate all of the people who can't drive their cars…**

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	11. Don't drown, kay?

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721 The song was Hate my Life by Theory of a Deadman**

Alien

Chapter 11: Don't drown, kay?

I don't think I've ever had that much fun before in my whole non talking life. After I made my ungraceful entrance into the pool, everyone had to make sure I was alright at first. I mean did they not see me bust out laughing when my head came above surface? Still, it was very sweet of them to care so much about me, I was also getting used to the feeling.

I was laying on my back floating in the nice cool water, taking in the bright sunny day. The skies didn't have a single cloud in the sky, and the sun was blaring. I had to squint really hard if I wanted to see anything, and even then it felt like my eyeballs were catching on fire. When I blinked away the hurt, I could only see in black and white. The sun was terrible! It just felt so good on my skin, warming me up from the water.

I was pale, and we all know the pale kid got burned the worse from swimming. I could definitely use a tan, so I guess I was going to have to go through a lot of pain before my wish could come true. I feared sun burns though, they were always awkward tan lines, since I could never choose a decent swimsuit.

Deciding to go under water because I could feel myself beginning to sweat, I enjoyed the rush of cold. I touched the bottom of the deep end once and then kicked off with my foot. A pair of brown orbs met my blue ones as I broke the surface. I gave a genuine smile as I latched my arms around Bill's neck. He took us and spun us around. "See I told you smiling never hurts." He whispered to me.

I felt myself blush as I took my face away from his neck. _Smiling is kind of fun_. I leaned back in his arms and let my head rest in the water. It was a bit awkward for me to say the least, we were crotch to crotch, with him holding me by my waist tightly to his slender body.

I could feel Jake glaring at us from behind Bill, but I could care less right now. That boy needed to get whatever was wrong with him checked out, because I wasn't going to let him ruin my happy day. I rarely get to feel so free, and for once I didn't have a care in the world, I honestly didn't need negativity. Jake may seem to act nice to me, but I really think he was only going to use me to get to something. That may be myself over reacting though. I tend to do that sometimes.

"Mein gott!" Bill exclaimed, taking a look at my face. I rose up closer to him, feeling oddly self conscious. "You are burning super bad Abby! Didn't you put on sunscreen?"

"She didn't take it from me when I offered it to her." Jake butted into our conversation with a sour tone. He was teasing me again.

"Oh shut up, I wouldn't take anything from you either. She's a smart girl." Bill casually tossed back. I gave a sigh, Jake would start something when Shilo or Tom weren't inside the pool. Figures.

"You would know about being a girl, wouldn't you?" Jake said. Wow, that was a seriously lame comeback.

Bill huffed and turned around, facing Jake. Even though we were off to the side of the pool, and he was casually propped on the edge of the shallow end. "Why don't you shut the hell up Jake? Why do you always have to pick a fight with someone? Cant you just give it a rest for once?" Bill asked in an almost pleading tone. I didn't blame him, Jake was getting on my nerves, his moods were giving me whiplash.

"I'm having too much fun getting under your skin you faggot." Jake said simply. And that's when I just couldn't stand it anymore. Its like something in my snapped. I swam out from behind Bill, going towards Jake. When I got to the shallow end I stood up to my height.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Jake questioned me. "You're a fucking mental case! You cant even talk, let alone stand up for yourself."

I blanched at him. He did _not _just pull the mental card. _Come here. _I mouthed to him. I took a glance back at Bill and he looked utterly worried. Poor guy, I bet he wants to stand up for me, but I don't think he's ever fought someone in his entire lifetime.

"I'm here what do you want you psycho." He said, still unmoving from his perched seat on the pools edge.

_Get in the pool you asshole. _My patience was wearing super thin.

He carefully hopped in the pool, coming to stand inches away from myself. His body towered over mine. But it wasn't that bad of an advantage. "What do you want? I'm here." He said in a teasing tone.

"Abby, just drop it okay?" Bill pleaded from the end of the pool. I think he knew the just about what I was going to do to him.

"You hear that? Listen to the queer, he at least knows what he's talking about." Jake pulled his hair back into a medium hanging ponytail.

_Ok so what is your problem? Whatever problem you have seriously needs to drop, now!_ My body was trembling with rage. It also felt good, because I haven't been able to feel something like this in a long time. Emotion. Something other that nothingness.

"Well I don't have a problem."

_Sure don't seem like it. What? You like picking on people for no apparent reason then Jake?_

"Well it's not my fault that faggot…" I cut him off with a forceful push on his bare chest. He stumbled really bad, almost slipping on the pools slippery lining, catching himself on the edge of the pool. He looked pissed. "What the hell was that about?"

_Call Bill a faggot again. Just do it. _I was stepping closer to him, I was going to fucking pounce on him.

"Faggot!" He spat out simply.

And that's when I cocked back my arm as far as I could stand to and gave him the hardest punch I've ever gave anyone. All you heard was my fist catching on the flesh of his cheekbone, and a hard grunt. He almost fell backwards into the pool, but I caught him by the elbow. Ah, punching him in the face then catching him before he drowned to death sure seems nice of me.

He wrenched his arm free from my grasp. He was shocked that I could pack a punch! I may be small but I knew how to take care of myself and my friends. I used to always want to pick a fight back home before things happened. And it felt good to finally hit something. I don't know what was worse though, the way he didn't seem too mad, or that the fact he was emotionless?

Finally anger took over his face. "You are a bitch!" He seethed out before hopping angrily out of the pool. He threw me a nasty glare before he slammed the door shut. But I made sure that he saw the middle finger I threw him. Good I hope he was pissed off at me. It'd make not talking to him a whole bunch easier. And he totally deserved that punch.

Bill was next to my in a flash, holding me in a bone crunching hug. "Abby!" He exclaimed, holding me out at arms reach, just looking my appearance over. "You really didn't need to do that, I was just going to ignore him. Trying not to let him get to me, like you said."

I shook out my right hook, it looked really red and swollen. Yeah I hit him extra hard. _He kind of made me snap, I hate when people bad talk my friends, it just doesn't work out like that. Besides, it felt good to relieve some built up tension I have in my body._

Bill looked taken aback for a moment. "Just because your tense doesn't mean you can go around hitting people. That's what a punching bag at the gym is for."

I rolled my eyes. Didn't he understand that I was only doing this because I wanted to? _I was only trying to help ok? _He nodded his head sadly. _Plus, with people like Jake, you cant really ignore him, sometimes beating the shit out of them is pretty damn efficient._

"But you only hit him." Bill said a little confused.

_Wrong. Because I think I punched him the hardest that I've ever punched anybody! And did you see him? He was practically in tears._

He sighed into my wet hair. "Thank you so much. I really do appreciate it lovely, but do you think he'll leave me alone now?"

I pulled away from him to get a good look at his face. _I guess we wont know until later on or something, because I honestly think he will leave you alone, and if he doesn't I'm sorry._

"Its alright though." He smiled at me, giving me a soft peck on the cheek. "I think we should head on in, just to see how everything's going on."

I agreed, because who knows what kind of messed up story Jake is telling to get me and Bill into trouble. Bill lifted me out of the pool telling me to go ahead and dry off. I took my leave towards the giant deck to where my towel laid. I pulled at the hem of my swimsuit top, trying to get it to cover up my scars. I know I'm about to change, but I could only hope it would cover up. When Bill got closer I just wrapped the towel around my body.

We filed in through the back door and we could immediately hear Georg's loud mouth. Ah, it would be really nice to finally get to see him again, I was in dire need of a Georg hug. I haven't seen him in about a week. We could also hear Shilo arguing with Jake, probably about what I did to him. Panic welled in my stomach, I really didn't want to get into trouble.

A troubled looking Georg rounded the corner and when he saw me his eyes sparkled a really happy color. "Did you do that to Jake?" He whispered excitedly across the room to me. I nodded with enthusiasm. "I think I love you!" He exclaimed, coming across the room really quick scooping me up in a giant hug. I hugged back. "Ah I missed you! Now we can finally hang out without me having to go away!"

_I missed you too! _I said back. He nodded happily, I guess he could read lips too. Bill cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I think we should go get changed." He said, looking sweetly at me. I gave him a nod.

"Wait!" Georg started. "What happened with you and Jake? He practically came in tearing up the house! I mean I felt bad for him for a second, but he must have deserved it."

Before I could answer Bill cut in for me. "Abby was sticking up for me, and she just punched him in the face because he was being a royal jerk. So mainly the usual." Bill sighed.

Georg gave a great laugh, clapping his hands together like he found it the most funniest thing in the world. "He has a wicked weld on his cheek! Right under his eye! That baby is already bruised and swollen, I cant wait to see what it looks like tomorrow!" He was too happy about that.

I turned my attention to Bill. _Told you I could pack a punch. _His worried face busted out into a full on smile. But before we could get any farther in the conversation an angry.. Angry wasn't the word! More like a fuming looking Shilo rounded the corner and her eyes landed on my own. I was terrified. I didn't want her to hate me!

Once she saw my terrified expression I visually saw her face smooth out and calm down. She walked up slowly to me and spoke in a whisper. "I'm not angry at you alright?" I nodded, I felt the tears brimming in my eyes. "From what I know of Jake is that he probably deserved it, am I right?" Another nod. "Good. Now lets not speak of it ok? I'm not mad." Nod. "Now give me a hug!" She said in a random burst of happy.

I stepped into her arms and got her all wet again from the pool. I enjoyed hugs, they always made my day, lifted my mood even. I stepped out of her warm embrace and just gave her a brilliant smile. "Now go get changed. How about we start this sleepover?"

XxX

I had nothing to wear whatsoever. My clothes were in the washing machine downstairs and I was sitting awkwardly in my bra and panties wrapped in that damn fluffy towel. I didn't know what to do! I'm pretty sure Bill wouldn't mind if that I had to borrow some of his clothes, since I've done so before. The thing was getting to him, he was in his room probably, since he took a billion years to get dressed in the first place.

I was debating whether or not to throw on my swimsuit again, but I'm sure it would be too freezing for my skin now. I didn't feel like shivering my butt off, at least now I was relatively warm. My legs had goosebumps, and my arms were cold. I sighed a nasty sigh, I might as well get this over with. I stood and made sure my feet were dry, I wasn't going to make a fool out of myself; while only in a towel. That would be embarrassing to me.

I hesitantly poked my head out of the door to make sure the hallway was clear. I tightened my towel and took off at a little tiptoed jog. I was dumb, this was stupid, someone was going to see, I was insane. Making it to Bill's door I knocked on it a little rushed, because I didn't want to be out here that long. Who knew when someone was going to come up the steps.

I heard Bills muffled response behind the door, I don't know what he said but I chanced it. I threw open his door and quickly closed it behind me. "What the hell..?" His back was facing me and he was in the middle of pulling up his boxers. I averted my eyes from his nice backside, pretending like I didn't see anything. "Oh!" Was all he said when he saw it was me.

I was blushing like crazy. _I was just wondering if I could borrow some clothes since mine are in the wash. _

He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. He laughed. "No I don't mind, just let yourself into my closet, and you can just change in there if you'd like?"

I nodded. _Sorry again. _

He caught me by the waist and pulled me to him. "Oh lovely, there is nothing to be sorry about, you need clothes and that's ok." He hugged me tightly before letting me go, giving me a light shove towards his giant walk in closet. "Just warn me before you come out… uhm you didn't see anything when you rushed in did you?" That question caught me off guard and I couldn't even lie because I was too busy blushing. He did an awkward sigh before shaking his head.

I closed the closet door quietly behind me before looking through racks and racks of shirts. I decides on a simple black shirt, it was a bit snug on me. When was the last time Bill cleaned out his closet anyways? This shirt was tight on me, it must not fit him. Oh well, I shedded the towel walked around in need of some shorts. I would a neon yellow pair and put them on. Wow, I felt particularly bright.

I gathered my towel and disposed it in the clothes hamper in the corner of his closet. I swear it had everything! I gave the door a loud knock before I did anything else, I didn't want to have to walk in on Bill a second time today, because frankly that was weird. The door creaked open a bit and I saw Bill's smiling face, but he wouldn't open it too much more. "What would you do if I locked you in here?"

I thought that over. _I would hate you forever. _I mouthed simply.

"Ah, you cant hate me!" I gave him a serious look. He back tracked. "I mean, wouldn't you use the window?"

I gave him a shocked expression. _There's a window in here? _I turned to look at my surroundings, and sure enough behind one of the clothes racks was a blacked out window. _Wow._

"Can I do you makeup?" He asked as he sat us down on his bed.

_Definitely not! Plus aren't we about to go to sleep anyways? And I'm just so exhausted from today._

"Oh fine you meanie! Ah, I thought I was the only one who gets really tired after swimming, I guess that makes two of us." He gave a tiny yawn. It was seriously the cutest thing I've ever seen. "You should totally sleep in here with me!" He exclaimed in a happier tone.

I shrugged. _Okay, but I wont be up for makeovers or games, I just want to go straight to bed tonight. _

He snorted. "Too bad we have to go downstairs and face the wrath of Shilo, she has been talking about this sleepover nonstop. So you'll probably have to do stuff with her."

I shrugged. _I don't mind, it will be fun. And now that there are more people, we'll have more fun. What do you think she has planned anyways? Probably a movie._

"I have no clue, but I think we should go downstairs before she sends someone up, don't you think?" He asked, taking hold of my hand. I gave a great nod as we both took off out the door.

As we were walking down the steps Bill thought it was a funny idea to pick me up and flip me over his shoulders. My face was facing everyone, and my legs and backside was tossed over his back. I guess the shirt I borrowed from Bill wasn't that tight on me at all. It pulled all the way up to the end of my bra. I was baring my scars to everyone, I tried to wriggle free, but he couldn't tell how desperate I was feeling right now.

At the last step he put me down like a sac of bricks, yeah I had pinched the crap out of his legs until he complied. He was giving me a questioning stare as I was fixing my shirt, making sure it stayed down. I was too scared to meet anyone's eyes, I didn't want to face the fact that they hated me. I was too scared for them. But they were my friends, would they judge me?

When I was thinking they didn't notice, Jake spoke his smart ass up. "What were you like held against a stove or something?" He didn't say it to sound mean, he said because he was really wanting to know.

The tears came. He was close to the truth, and I didn't like it one bit. It made me feel vulnerable.

**:3**

**Like? Eh? **

**LYRICS :D [there a bit silly :3]**

_**- **_**Every challenge along the way, With courage I will face, I will battle every day, To claim my rightful place! Come with me, the time is right, There's no better team, Arm in arm we'll win the fight, It's always been our dream!**

**REVIEW! :D**


	12. Breaking Inside

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721 Shaker10 got the song. It was the Pokemon theme song :]]**

Alien

Chapter 11: Breaking Inside

Bill was a little oblivious as to why I was crying, and Jake looked freaked out. You'd think he would be taking pride because I was crying, but he looked like he felt so bad. Shilo looked like she wanted to give me another hug, and Tom kept staring at my shirt clad belly. Things were awkwardly quiet, it was bad. My head was feeling like it was going to explode with all the tension. Jake so happened to speak up first.

"Abby, look I'm sorry…" Before he could say anything Georg cut him off with a fierce look and a sharp pissed voice.

"Look here god damnit! You'd better shut your smart ass up before I give you a matching welt on the other side of your face." I almost smiled through my tears, I cant believe Georg was standing up for me.

"What's going on?" Bill whispered dumbfounded to me. Poor guy, he was really confused right now.

I shook my head and shrugged out of his grasp. I sat alone at the end of the giant couch, bringing my legs to my chest and resting my head on them. I think I was going into complete shutdown mode, and I didn't want to ruin everyone else's day. Well I mean I guess I already did by punching Jake, but that's besides the point. I just didn't want to have to talk about it right now. It was too soon.

Jake tried to apologize again, but Georg kept cutting him off. "Dude! Just drop it, maybe she just don't want to talk about it, ever think of that?"

I really was grateful for Georg, but I didn't think I could properly show him thanks right now. Would he find me rude? Tears flowed over and I tucked my head in between my legs and my arms over my head. If anything, I didn't want people to hate me. I didn't want _my _friends to hate me. I would be so utterly lost without them! I know I sound dependent on them, but wouldn't you be if you were in my situation? I mean people didn't really show interest in me off the bat.

I knew it was Bill the moment an arm draped around my back and pulled me to him. I just knew. I didn't want people to be staring at me, and I knew they were. Maybe Jake was right? What if all I was, was a mental case. What were these people doing being my friends anyways? Did they just feel sorry for me or what? I needed to calm down. If they didn't like me for me they wouldn't be here, hell I wouldn't be here, this is their house after all.

I put my feet firmly on the ground and leaned back into Bill wiping my face off with the back of my hands. I just sat there for a minute, waiting for someone to break the awkward silence. Since I couldn't do it myself and all. Bill was rubbing a comforting hand up and down my side, just comforting me. I loved that about him, he always knew when I was upset, and he didn't have to talk. He was just so sweet.

My tired puffy eyes caught on Georg who was staring at my face with a worried look, when we made eye contact I gave him a pleading look. He was confused as to what I wanted him to do. I clearly wanted him to work his funny business and start up a conversation or something. Maybe even change the atmosphere in the room. I would seriously enjoy that. Hell we all would.

I gave him another pleading look and I think he finally caught on. He stood up and pretended to stretch. "Ahh, how about we toss in this DVD?" That was a good ice breaker, because then Shilo and Tom started bustling around the place.

"I'll order the pizza!" Tom tossed out, placing a kiss on Shilo's lips. I swear I've never seen two people in so much love before. Someday I wish to find my one and only. "Any special requests before I make the call?"

Shilo put her two cents in. "I'm dying for a pepperoni pizza! I haven't had pizza in forever! Tell them to put extra everything on it, and if you can make it have a cheese filled crust?"

"Anything for you Angel." He kissed her once more before bounding up from the couch and digging through his ginormous pockets for his cell phone. "Yo Georg you still liking the meat lovers pizza?"

"Hell yeah!" Georg bit back with enthusiasm. Then he scowled. "Will I have to share it with Jake?"

Jake held out his arms in a friendly manner. "Whatever bro, cant we order like two meat lovers pizzas if its going to bug you that bad?" He tossed out. Then he gave a visible wince as he had an itch on his face. I smiled. I did that to him.

Georg gave a short laugh. "I don't mind all that, it's just that I can seriously put away a whole pizza."

Tom rolled his eyes. "Okay so I have two meat lovers, a pepperoni and three cheese pizza's. Any other requests?" Boy would I love to have some of the jalapeño cheesy break, that stuff was greasy and just plain good. And I would have kissed him right then! Bill spoke like he heard my thoughts.

"You should definitely get that new cheese bread, its to die for. I don't remember the name for it though…"

_It's the jalapeño cheese bread. _I mouthed to Bill, still a bit too self conscious to face the room.

He repeated what I mouthed to Tom. He left the room with Shilo and Jake in tow, they were both doing that annoying sibling bickering. I really do miss Andy, he was my twin and best friend. Maybe that's why Bill could read me so well, because he is a twin like I was? That would make a ton of sense. But Tom is totally clueless about me, maybe he chooses to be oblivious sometimes? Who knows.

Georg got up and plopped down on the other side of me. "I'm starving how about you? I know you guys swam for a while, and that always makes me starving."

I nodded. _I haven't eaten anything all day, so I know how you feel. _I gave a sad smile, I wasn't up for anything, but I had to put on a fake mask and get through. I had to over come this.

"Awh, don't be sad ok? Jake is an asshole and he gets to everyone, and if it makes you feel better you totally decked him. Even though I wasn't there to see it happen, I know you're a tough little kitten."

I rolled my eyes, sniffling a bit. Bill pulled me in tighter and I took hold of his hand and gave it a good comforting squeeze. _Kitten? _

He gave his signature laugh. "Yeah, you definitely would look like an angry kitten if you got mad. Just because you're so tiny and cute to begin with."

I sighed. _What, is my new nickname Kitten or something? _All these different nicknames for me was getting pretty bizarre, it was making me feel closer to them than I ever thought possible. Even though Kitten sort of sounded like a stripper name.

"Now that you say something, sure. Your new nickname from me is Kitten. You cool with that?" Before I could get the chance to reply he talked again. "Too bad, because I dub you Kitten."

_You're such a dork Georg._

Bill spoke up then. "I'm beginning to feel a little left out!" He pouted.

I took his arm and put it around my shoulders, I felt nice and warm automatically. He made me feel safe. _You poor baby. _I said, leaning my head under his chin to get a good look at his face. His eyes were sparkling, he was having fun.

Georg's eyes landed on our entwined hands but he never said anything about it. I guess he knew we weren't dating, since Bill was sure enough to tell him, they were friends after all. "Guess what Prinzessin?" He directed towards Bill. I snorted at his choice of words when talking to his friend.

Bill looked ticked. "Don't call me that!"

"You really should learn to take a joke." I laughed, remembering my first time meeting Georg, Bill definitely couldn't take a joke. "Anyways! I might be transferring to your school soon, doesn't that sound super fun?" By the sound of his voice, he couldn't wait.

Bill nodded enthusiastically. "How soon? We are going to destroy the school!"

"Maybe Montag if I'm lucky!" He stopped to scratch his ear. Wow, I don't think I've ever seen that done before. "And were all lucky paparazzi aren't allowed at the school. We'd be totally screwed!" I'm guessing they are trouble makers when together.

"Most definitely!"

Jake came into the room at a silent pace, and I really did feel sorry for him. I could relate about people hating him, it hurt, no matter how much he tried to cover it up with anger. Sadly I saw through him, and it made me want to connect, despite what everyone was saying about him. I felt like I was being drawn to him? I quickly averted my eyes from his face as he looked over at me and gave me one of those annoying little smirks.

"What's going on with Gustav?" Tom asked, coming in the room with Shilo. "Oh, and the pizza should be here in about twenty." I rolled my eyes, I didn't want to wait.

Georg answered, I guess him and Gus were closer. "He's having a fun time hiking in Australia with his grandad, he's sent me a ton of pictures. They've gotten a goat and everything!" I laughed, wow a goat? My Aunt's old boss owned a goat named Missy. Georg turned to look at me. "You'd love Gus, he's like a giant teddy bear! Too bad he isn't here to meet you! You'd both get alone since your both so quiet."

I just shrugged. _Maybe when he gets back._

"What movie do you all want to watch? I've got scary, funny, horror…" Shilo started.

"Scary and horror are the same thing." Jake laughed back. He seemed like he was attempting to be a good person, and not so rotten.

She cracked a smile and shook her head a bit. "I totally knew that. Anyways, I think I only have horror or comedy."

"Comedy!" Georg bellowed from beside's me.

"Horror!" Bill yelled back. Yeah this is definitely not a moment we shared, because I really wanted something to make me laugh. I didn't need to be anymore down than necessary right now. But I of course wasn't going to voice my opinion, it was whatever made them happy.

And that's when everyone decided on a horror movie, even Georg changed his mind. When they asked me I simply shrugged, I mean everyone wanted horror so what did it matter? We decided to wait for the pizza to get here and eat first, before we watched the movie. It was called _Classroom._ I've never heard of it, but apparently to Jake it was one of the scariest movies ever made.

Everyone was talking happily amongst themselves, and it was easy to say I was really feeling left out. I mean I could hop in at any moment, but I decided against it. I just don't know. I was still feeling off about what happened earlier with my scars baring free to everyone. At least they dropped it and went on with their lives. I was grateful for that, but on the other hand I expected them to pry it out of me.

"Pizza's here!" Georg yelled from beside me, hopping up. "Dude, hand me a fifty!" He whisper yelled to Tom. I rolled my eyes, they made talking about large sums of money so casual.

"But I want to get the pizza!" Tom whined. They argued about it for a while, and the knocks were just getting more hushed. They were just still standing there.

I sighed and threw myself into the standing position. I carried myself stealthily over to the door, and opened it really quick. Bill was laughing from his seat on the couch, and Georg had his mouth hanging open at me. Tom and him both rushed over quickly and I stepped out of the way, going back to Bill, curling into his side. He was so warm.

"Lovely, you are hilarious!" He laughed in my direction, his breath smelled like something sweet, but I guess it was just him.

_Well they wouldn't open the door, and I'm really hungry. _I stated simply. I think I summed up how everyone was feeling right now. Maybe a little tense and starving.

"Here you go Kitten and Prinzessin." Georg said, sitting down the very big box of pizza in both of our laps. My mouth instantly started to water, and I think Bill's did too because he didn't protest of Georg calling him a Princess.

Bill greedily flipped open the box and took out a huge slice of cheese pizza and bit into it. I wasn't far behind. It was so gooey and cheesy and I don't think I've ever tasted something so good. I think German's had the best everything! My old friend back home was from Germany and she was always making the most delicious stuff ever. Once she brought Kaba in, well it wasn't too good, it reminded me of Pepto-Bismol. But that's besides the point.

"Hey Bill!" Tom said from across the room. He had something cupped in his hand. Bill looked up in mid bite. "Want some ham?" He said in a teasing tone.

I of course busted out laughing along with Tom. "What is up with you both laughing at ham anyways?" He asked, sounding irritated.

"Oh nothing." Tom said slyly.

Bill ignored it and continued eating. While my laughter stayed in the atmosphere.

XxX

We were all laying on the floor, a good distance away from the TV since the room was just so damn giant. We all laid on blankets except for Jake who was behind us on the couch, he should be falling asleep soon. Since that's where he's going to sleep tonight. I was a bit shifty on this movie. It was about a teacher who gets obsessed over his student and stops at nothing to have her. Story. Of. My. Life. I don't know if I could watch it, but I was going to stick it out for the guys.

I was laying between Shilo and Bill, Tom on Shilo's side and Georg on Bill's. This night was going to be really interesting. My and Bill's hands were intwined in front of us as we were propped up on our elbows, facing their giant flat screen TV. The movie started and it was fine at first.

The main character's name was Lara and her teacher would abuse her after school hours. The sick bastard freaking tortured her, made her ugly and scarred because he didn't want anyone else to look at her. He wanted her to be his and his only. He saw her after school one day with a guy and became pissed, and that's when hell started…

I couldn't stand to watch it anymore! It was too similar… to me. The tears started to pool over, I was trying to be quiet but I couldn't do it. It hurt too much. I didn't want to remember, and now everything was flooding back into my memory. Art. Kiln. Bryan. Evil. Smiles. Fun. Sad. Torture. My mind was swimming with the sad past of my sad life. I had to go somewhere, I had to do something before this became a full out panic attack. No one needs to see me like that again.

I hurriedly took my hand out of Bill's and kicked off the cover. I ran up the stairs and slammed the bathroom door shut. I needed to calm down, I was being weak. I hated that feeling. I ran my hands nervously through my hair, tugging and pulling on it roughly. As long as I felt some physical pain I knew I was being sane. I chanced a glance at my reflection and sighed.

I was sunburned beyond belief and my eyes were bloodshot from all the crying I was recently doing, and probably from my lack of sleep. I know I was in dire need of it. I ran the cold water and splashed it on my overheated face. I was calming down efficiently and now all I needed to do was forget. That I knew was never going to happen, but I could still try. Trying and hope kept me going, and one day I hoped I would get completely better. No fear, no sorrow, just happiness.

There was a small knock at the door, and I internally freaked out as the door opened. Bill stepped through and I gave a sigh of relief. All he had to do was come towards me with his arms held open, it made my tears fall free once again as we embraced. It felt so good to be hugged, it made me feel so much better. Except it made my tears fall even worse now, I don't know why, but when I'm sad and get a hug it makes me cry worse?

He shushed me and told me everything was going to be okay. If he only knew they wasn't. My head mentally was _not _okay. And I don't know if I'll ever be one hundred percent okay ever again.

"Are you going to be okay Abby?" He asked, kissing my forehead and wiping away my hears with his thumbs.

I shrugged. _Honestly I don't think I'll ever be able to be okay Billa. _

I felt him shiver at my unsaid words. "I want you to talk to me Abby, I don't want you to keep everything bottled up inside you. It's really not good for your health. I care so much about you, and I don't want you to be hurting ok?"

I nodded, I knew he was right. Which is why I've decided that I'm going to tell him about a little part of my past… Whether he liked it or not, because I really did need to get some of this stress and built up tension out of my body, or else I might result to beating up Jake every chance I get.

"We should go to my room, you need to lay down Abby. And I'll stay there with you." He said sweetly, taking hold of my hand and leading us to his room. I cant believe I was about to do this…

I've never opened up to anyone before, even if it wasn't the whole story. I guess there's a first to everything. I gave a shudder as he closed his door behind us, and I had a feeling my secrets were going to stay behind closed doors too. This is the moment. The moment I decide whether or not I can fully trust Bill.

I knew I could…

**:3**

**Man if that wasn't a cliffy I don't know what is :] Well lets just say what she tells Bill in the next chapter is only a part of why the way she is. There is a whole bunch of crap to come, so don't say I'm rushing :] I'm only going to bring Bill and Abby closer together :3 And I love my reviewers, you guys make my day :D LYRICS :D**

**-I caught a chill and it's still frozen on my skin, I think about why I'm alone by myself no one else to explain, How far do I go no one knows, If the end is so much better why don't we just live forever? Don't tell me I'm the last one in line, Don't tell me I'm too late this time! I don't wanna live to waste another day, Underneath the shadow of mistakes I've made. :3**

**REVIEW! :D **


	13. Psychically and Mentally Sick

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721 **

**The song was Breaking Inside: Shinedown **

Alien

Chapter 13: Psychically and Mentally Sick

I was silently breathing in and out, trying to prevent another panic attack which was surely about to creep up on me. What the hell was wrong with me? I've never acted this way before and I'm actually scaring myself. No one has ever gotten the truth out of me. Not my dad, therapist, friends, ex boy friend, or as many counselors you could attempt to send a teen to. This was going to be unbelievable. And my dad was going to be ecstatic. Mind as well tell him.

I wasn't going to tell Bill everything. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, it would kill me inside. I didn't want to be a shell of a girl I once was again, looking back on it, I really hate myself for it. I'm thinking that if I tell Bill everything that I'll have too many flashbacks and I wouldn't be able to handle myself properly. And god help me if I give these people something else to worry about.

I wasn't going to share every blood curdling detail tonight, only why I freaked out so bad over the damn movie. Oh hell, I can barely think about it without my breaths coming more shallow. I tried counting in my head, and it was working for a while. Bill motioned for me to take a seat on the edge of him bed, but I couldn't. I don't think I'd be able to breath if I had to sit down. Standing sounds great right now, I could breath a bit better that way.

Bill drew me into a giant hug, and it made my tears spill over. I cant believe he was being so sweet and rational about this, he wasn't going to hate me hopefully. He leaned back and held me at arms length. Tears were glistening in his chocolate eyes. He cared. "I wont judge you Abbs, I'm here to help you, you're my best friend even though we've only just met. I care so much about you, and it hurts me to see you like this."

I took my hands and gently wiped away the tears threatening to fall from Bill's perfect eyes. I hated when people cried. _Please don't cry Billa. I'm not worth your tears. _I sniffled.

I felt him stiffen under my touch, his whole body went rigid, his eyes turned into slits as he made contact with mine. "You need to stop thinking of yourself so lowly. In my eyes I see you as way much more than that. Please understand? And everyone here, except Jake maybe cares deeply for you too. Ok?" His tone softened up a bit.

I nodded, because I really did understand where he was coming from. It was like when I was little and Andy saved my turtle from the neighbors cat. I was so pissed off, but in the same way I loved Andy even more for helping me out. Maybe this will be the same way? I'll tell Bill what's going on in my messed up head and it'll bring us closer and we'll like each other a whole lot more, because he sort of understands me? I don't know what turtles have to do with anything though.

"Please let me in your head?" He said weakly. I think he thought I really wasn't going to tell him anything. Boy was he wrong, I was about to drop a bomb on his sorry ass. "I mean you don't have to tell me everything, but I feel like I honestly need to know. I want to protect you. Does that sound silly?"

I blushed a deep red and looked away, he pulled my face back to his. Far enough to where he can see what I'm mouthing to him. _It isn't silly, you just care a lot I guess. And I'm going to tell you, don't worry. _I looked up to him, his face was hopeful. _I just don't know how I'm going to start off. I'm terrified._

"Are you scared I'll look at you differently? Or that it'll scare you again?" He looked like he was going to dread my answer.

_Both. _I mouthed slowly. And as I called it, a shudder ran through his tall lean body. I knew he wouldn't leave me, but I knew he might look at me really differently. Could I handle it? I really don't know. All I wanted to do was to relieve some of this dumb stress off my body.

"I will _never _look at you differently lovely, I promise you." He thought for a second, and I couldn't help to believe him. "I'll help you try and talk about it if you'd like?" I nodded. He hesitated before asking. "Did it have something to do with that movie?" I gave a stiff nod.

I felt my legs start to wobble, and I almost collapsed on the floor if it wasn't for Bill who held onto my elbows. He gracefully sat me on his bed, and he was next to me. We were sitting to where my legs were splayed over his lap, and his arm was around my back. I was far past my panic attack, I knew I wasn't going to have one tonight. Just a ton of crying was in store for me, and maybe Bill.

"What about the movie startled you lovely?" He said gently, smoothing away my dampened hair, it was wet from my tears. He was mulling options over in his head when I wouldn't answer him. "Did it bring back memories? Uh, um, bad memories." I nodded on his chest. He sucked in a breath, I think he was getting tired of him asking me questions.

I lifted my face and turned it towards him, I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands. I guess this is judgment day. _That girl in the movie? She reminded me of myself. _

Bill gasped. "How so?" He asked almost silently. His eyes intently searching my face for any little detail he could gather.

_Well, I had a teacher… _Tears stuck in my throat, my vision was getting blurry at the edges. I didn't need to blackout now. I at least owed this to Bill, he was my best friend, and I could trust him. I knew I could. I sucked in a gulp full of air. _He was pretty horrible to me actually… _I don't know what was going on, I was pretty confident with telling him earlier, what's gotten into me. I stole a glance at Bill, he was looking a little pale.

"Just take a calming breath, its okay Abby." He shushed me. "What did he… do to you?"

_At first it was little things like making me stay after class… since art was my 5__th__ period, he knew I walked home.._

Bill interrupted me. "Did you say art?" I nodded slowly. "Is that why your so skittish and careful whenever we go to that class?"

I nodded. Of course it was. _Bad memories is all. _I collected myself as much as I could. _Anyways. I noticed a possessive behavior come over him, I never thought about it because he was a teacher. Teacher's are supposed to be someone you could go to, to trust. Then months down the road he became abusive…_

"He hit you?" Bill exclaimed.

I sighed in exasperation. _Quit interrupting and I'll tell you eh? _I didn't want to get all pissy, but I couldn't help it. He seemed to understand and waited for the rest to spill out of my mouth. He kept pushing my hair out of my face and smoothing it away so he could see me properly, since my hair kept falling in my face.

_I was just starting middle school when all the shit with him happened. He was my favorite teacher until he made me stay often. Months later, he would take me to his storage closet and to crap to me. It was honestly horrible. Bryan. _I gave a shudder, holding onto Bill harder. _His name was Bryan, he let us call him by his first name. Too bad the kids didn't realize what a pedophile he was…_

"Did you tell anybody?" Bill questioned like a little kid.

_I'm about ready to bitch slap you Bill. _I felt bad after it was out of my mouth, but honestly. I was stressed and I didn't need questions, even though he was only trying to help me out here. _Sorry. _I repeated, cupping his cheek gently. _I really am._

He gave a shaky sigh. "It's ok. I'll try not to interrupt anymore." He leaned into my touch, sighing.

_He threatened me Billa, I didn't know what to do! _I sobbed. _I had to keep quiet. But no. This isn't the reason why I'm silent, that my dear is a whole other story for a different time. _I got back on topic of my horrifying past. _I don't want to talk about what he did to me in the closet, but you could imagine right? Anything possible, he did to me. It was horrible!_

He gave my hands a squeeze as I kept going on my rant, and it wasn't like I was here anymore, it was as if that day was here and now. _Beatings after beatings. Rape. Torture. Bruises. Dad thought I was being bullied during school, and when I wouldn't elaborate with him on it he thought he was right. Boy was he dead wrong. The last day of 8__th__ grade year was when shit went down. _

"I know you said not to ask you questions, but does Max know about this?" Bill's voice sounded so innocent and caring. I gave him a curt nod.

*FLASHBACK*

Why must everything hurt? I wish I could tell mom and dad about what's going on with me, it hurts so much. My body had been covered in bruises for the past three years. Don't they realize I'm not the same Abby anymore? You'd think Andy would know, since he's my twin and all, but he hasn't peeped a word to me. Am I that invisible to the ones I love?

Actually I know I wasn't invisible. Bryan knew. I was sitting in my art chair with the happy buzz of the end of the school year talk going happily around the room. Doesn't anyone notice how unhappy I am? Jaimie definitely don't. Some boyfriend huh? I swear he's using me for sex. If I wasn't do dependent of other people I would have dropped him as a friend a long time ago. I'm so weak.

I was fearing the end of the day, because I knew Bryan was going to keep me after. If only Andy would find me like I asked him, I would love that. But lately he's been putting sports first. Yeah he was pretty sporty, even though when you looked at him you would never think. Actually you'd never even think we were related in the least. I had blonde hair and Andy had Black. He was way taller too.

I sat hiding my arms from everyone. I have taken up a nasty habit in return of Bryan's gifts he's given me. I wont deny it. I cut the fuck out of my arms, I've bled until I passed out once. Man was that a wonderful feeling, wanting to get away, maybe dying was really the only way for me to be happy? I scolded myself. I knew suicide wasn't the answer, but my mind always liked to drift.

"Abby!" Christina shrieked from across the classroom. She was sort of my friend, dressed in the regulated uniform. She was wearing a white button-up and khaki pants. She moved closer with the yearbook in her hands. "Sign it please? We have to hang out this summer!" She gushed. I don't see why people had this weird fascination with me, just because I had a band didn't make me cool.

I put on a fake smile, Bryan always said he could tell when I was faking it, so I put my all in acting today. "Sure thing Christy, this summer's going to be good, don't you think?" I laughed, taking her yearbook and signing my name. "Keep that, one day it could be worth something." I joked.

She laughed, and it sent her golden curls bouncing around her gorgeous face. She could have been an angel. "Oh I'm going to miss you Abby-kadabby. Can you believe we'll be Freshman next year?" She talked quietly to other people for a while. I rolled my eyes, she could be too social sometimes. I knew we weren't going to be friends next year. High school changes people. That's the truth.

I felt an arm sling around my shoulder and I tensed up. Then sighed in relief, it couldn't have been Bryan, its still in school hours. "How's everything Babe?" Jaimie smiled down at me from his seat. Did I mention I was short in middle school? Only being 14 and all.

"Ah, everything's good." I didn't really want to talk about crap with him.

He gave me a worried look. "I'm your boyfriend for gods sake, you could at least trust me a bit to let me into your life. I love you alright?" He was sad. Maybe he really didn't just use me, I was always doubting everything.

"Not now." I whispered to him, I didn't want Bryan to hear us talking about the situation.

He rolled his eyes. "Ok babe. I just want to let you know I'm here for you alright? Even though it may not seem like it. I just have a lot going on at home at the moment." He looked at our entwined hands nervously.

"I understand completely." I said to him, leaning my head on his boney shoulder, it was oddly comforting. I knew the only things his parents did was drugs, and his sister was a total whore. The poor boy had nothing going for him.

"I love you." He said sweetly down to me.

"I love you too." I said back. Why couldn't things be simple like this all the time? I sighed sweetly.

The bell rang.

Jaimie left, and I just sat at the table sulking, I knew I wouldn't be able to get away, so why bother? There were a few lingering students gathering up their ceramics and sculptures. Why don't they help me? Don't they see the desperation on my face? Please help? Nothing as they walked past me, giggling and planning a trip to the beach.

As the door clicked its final click shut Bryan laughed. "Oh Abby, how I'm going to miss you." He said sweetly, running his nose on the length of my cheek. "It's not that simple though. We'll see each other again, you'll never be free of me. I'll guarantee you that my dear."

I wasn't going to answer, it just made him worse. "Oh by the way, who the hell was that boy? Jaimie something-or-other am I correct?" I shook my head, he wasn't going to hurt my boyfriend. "Don't get your thong into a twist my dear, I'm not going to hurt him." His tone of voice changed quick. "What the fuck did I tell you about other boys?" He yelled in my face, yanking my hair as hard as he could back. I exhaled in pain.

"I don't have a boyfriend so why does it matter?" I bit back, I had to lie. My life is seeming to be one giant lie lately. It made me physically and mentally sick.

"Bitch did I tell you to talk?" He slapped me. "You need to learn the difference between a rhetorical question and a real one!" Actually he didn't know the difference. "You are fucking ugly got that?" He barked in my face and I just nodded. "No one will ever want you, and anyone that says they want you is only lying to get in your pants. You whore." That's all I was. A useless whore. Tears filled my eyes.

He kept right on too. "What? Is the whore going to cry?" Silent traitor tears rushed down my cheeks. "Come with me Abby." He said in the tone that mean there was no playing around. He led me to the closet, it was super hot in there today. I yelped in surprise as he help my hands tightly behind my back. "You know what I'm going to do you bitch?" He yanked my arms tighter behind me.

"You are mine, and always will be. Once they see what I'm about to do to you, they'll never, ever want to touch or look at you again. I'm going to mark you… Mine. Oh so fucking precious…" He trailed off. I tried to make myself blackout but it wasn't possible. I was being thrust forward to the burning Kiln. I screamed the loudest and deadliest scream I've ever heard.

Before I thought I died, I heard _You accidentally fell onto the Kiln got it?_

*END FLASHBACK*

I stared up into Bill's sparkling eyes. "He was obsessed with you wasn't he?" He asked me sadly.

_That's not even the full story, I don't think I can tell the rest. Or if I ever can. _I was crying insanely now. _I'm barely holding on from putting this out in the open._

"Don't you feel better getting this load off your chest?"

_I honestly don't know. I think I'm going to have to sleep on it. _I really didn't know what I was feeling, I felt suffocated. And on the other hand I was relieved, Bill was still holding me, he hasn't fled from me yet.

"Did Andy ever come to rescue? How was you found?" I rolled my eyes, Bill was way too curious.

I shrugged. _From my knowledge Bryan called the cops, and fled the scene. There was no way he was going to be sought as innocent. I cant remember much, except that my whole summer and part of first trimester was spent in the hospital recovering._

"Do you think you'll ever be able to talk about the other crap that happened?" He was bouncing up and down. Hyper over my depressing past? That's a new one I wasn't expecting.

_Not soon. I don't know if ever. The other part ruined my life completely, and that is why I don't talk. So far its working. _I shrugged.

"Do you still have your scar? From the kiln?" Bill asked, tears spilling over in his eyes.

_Please __don't cry Billa. _I smiled faintly, sniffling and wiping the tears from his sad face.

"I cant help but to cry lovely. You are such a strong girl, I personally don't think I could have lived through something like that." He pulled me closer. And I just pushed into him with al my force, making us fall backwards onto the bed. He gave a sad smile while propping on his elbow to get a good look at me. I was on my back.

_Want to see? _I mouthed to him.

"I'll look only if you honestly want me to see." His voice was wavering. Once I showed him my scars I knew he would automatically start crying. I gave a nod.

I slowly pulled the tight black shirt up to the bottom of my bra line, I watched as his tears fell over. Tickling my stomach as they fell. "Oh gott Abby. I cant believe that sick bastard did that to you." I chanced a look at my belly also, it was so nasty looking. You could see where I had my belly ring, when I was held onto the Kiln, it had melted into my skin. Surgically removed was the way to get it out apparently. I'm glad I don't remember.

He was scrutinizing my body, but not in an 'ew' way, but in a curious way. I knew he wouldn't be mean and leave me, I knew he was here to stay for a while. I felt a smile tug on my lips as I thought about it. Bill made eye contact with me. _Please don't be sad. I feel a whole lot better, so it calls for smiles alright? _Anything to put a smile on my best friends face again.

"Oh Abby, I could kiss you right now." And I don't think he meant to say that out loud with the blush that spread across his face. He looked like a deer caught in a pair of high beamed headlights. Too scared to move, and too frightened to blink.

I gave a shy smile back. _No ones stopping you Billa._

He inched closer, closer, and closer. Our noses were touching and he was halfway on top of my, on one elbow with the other hand clutching my cheek sweetly. It was only a soft peck on the lips, but it meant a lot to me. It meant he cared and he wasn't going anywhere. It was a tiny kiss.

But why was I finding myself wanting more?

**:3**

**Choppy? I hope you liked it you guys. No Abby and Bill aren't going to get together this soon :] I'm planning on trying to make this a long story, how many chapters should be good? Plus there shall be a sequel for sure :3**

**LYRICS :D**

**- Maybe I should cry for help, Maybe I should kill myself, Blame it on my ADD baby, Maybe I'm a different breed, Maybe I'm not listening, lalalalalal. XD idek**

**REVIEW :D**


	14. Hero

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721 **

**Shaker10 got the song AWOLNATION- Sail ****J**

Alien

Chapter 14: Hero

Sleep was impossible, it was safe to say I tossed and turned all night. I envied Bill, who slept through the whole night without stirring once. He was clutching onto me though as I laid entwined in his tight grip. He must have thought I was a teddy bear or something, actually who sleeps like that in the first place? Bill apparently. If I wasn't so squished I might have found it cute.

There was a clock over his TV, and I watched the digits change. I saw the light trickling in through the window and it was really lovely. I wish I could step to the window and watch, but I didn't want to disturb Bill. He had to digest and mull over everything that I've told him today. It was a lot to take in all at once like that, at least he didn't have to live through it.

This was one of the longest nights I've ever laid through doing absolutely nothing. All that I was left with were my thoughts, that were so achingly poking around in my brain. I knew I made the right choice to tell Bill, but I cant help but wonder why I couldn't open up to my therapists like I did to him? I guess the trust issues comes to term here and now. I trust Bill unlike those nasty therapists. All their there for is a paycheck, they don't really care about me.

Throughout the night the rest of the house was trying to be quiet, the only sounds to be heard was Georg's loud ass laugh. Maybe a few shushes coming from the rest of the guys. The guys even peeked up here to make sure we were okay, and I faked sleeping because I wasn't in the talking mood. From what I could tell they were all very worried over me. And then Tom cracked a joke about how me and Bill are secretly together, and that maybe Shilo should make sure I was breathing since he had a tight grip on me.

I'm hoping that today isn't horrible, and that no one will ask questions. I know I owe a lot to Shilo too, since she's told me so much about her and her family problems. I honestly don't think I'll be able to tell my story again anytime soon though, so I hope she'll be patient with me. I knew she would, and that's what I liked about her. Tough on the outside and caring as hell on the inside.

I was going to sleep really good tonight since I skipped out on last night; too wound up to sleep. Still tossing around the fact that Bill kissed me too, I mean it made me feel so giddy inside, but it also made me confused. From what I gathered we were _not _a couple, so should we even be passing these little intimate gestures? Is it bad I wanted it to happen again? It didn't matter if we dated or not, the sense of being warm and close to someone just made me feel so alive and wanted. I didn't get that a lot.

Who am I kidding? I would totally want Bill as a boyfriend! Except I don't think I could be committed to someone right now. Bleh. See what I mean about my brain? I wish I knew what to do!

A slight knock on the door pulled me out of my insanely conversation with myself, that made no sense even to me. I closed my eyes, and Bill clung onto me tighter, letting out a great snore. It made me want to giggle but I held back myself. I was in the most uncomfortable position ever! I was on my back, tilted towards Bill, but his arms were around my waist. His boney arms were digging into my body, making it hard to sleep anyways, but I didn't mind. It was a sweet gesture even in his sleep.

The door creaked open really slowly and creepily. I could sense someone else in the room with us but they were being really quiet about what they were doing. I caught a whiff of cologne and I immediately knew the smell; Tom. I internally scoffed, since I didn't want to be gave away on fake sleeping. What in the world could he possibly be doing in here? I heard snickers at the door and that's when I knew they were probably going to do something to wake us up.

I saw a flash behind my eyelids and then a huge commotion of I'm assuming it to be Tom hitting the floor really hard as he tripped on his baggy pants. Muffled laughs came from the doorway as they tried to contain themselves. I popped both my eyes open just to get it over with, I would have to face them sooner or later. My eyes were met with a camera directly in my face. Oh so they thought they were funny? The flash went off and I blinked furiously.

Tom busted out laughing when he realized I was awake and functioning. I flipped him off and he snapped a picture of that too, cue eye roll. He tried to hide the camera in his baggy pockets. Seriously? Did he not see me pose for the picture? "Uh hey there Abby." He gave a sly smile. As soon as he talked everyone busted out laughing.

I quirked an eyebrow at him. _What are you doing?_

He sighed in relief. "Cant read lips."

_Dumb ass._

"Hey! I know what that means at least." He laughed. "Well I guess we'll leave, so you can wake up Bill, we have a fun day planned for today." I rolled my eyes and pretended to shoo them out of the room. I couldn't really do much since Bill was attached to me like a clamp.

As soon as the door closed I fought off giggles. Man this house was so random! I mean have they even been to sleep yet? I made a glance at the close and sighed, yeah they definitely haven't been to sleep yet because who wakes up this early on the weekend? I still cant believe how Bill could have slept through all of that loud ruckus! He must be a really heavy sleeper. Any sleepwalker has to be, right? I really don't know.

Eventually I got out of his stone hold grip and sat up. I got a head rush and wobbled a bit. After steadying myself I stared down at Bill. He looked so angelic, besides the bit of drool coming out of his mouth. Realization hit me; my head was under his chin. I felt around my hair, and like I knew, I found a big wet spot. Oh god, that was really gross. I took my hand and wiped it along his cheek. He sighed and smiled.

I rolled my eyes, okay that was a bit weird. I gave him a good shake, and he didn't move. I pulled myself up to where I was standing on the bed, and went to the opposite side of where he was fast asleep. I started hopping up and down, and that sent his lean body practically flying up in the air. I plopped down on my knees when I saw that he looked rather pissed off. Perfect. I smiled to myself.

"Ughh…" He moaned groggily looking around the room crazily. His eyes stopped on my and I couldn't help but to let out a wide smile, and I even gave a wave. I was curious as to if he'd be mad at me. He gave a short laugh. "How'd you sleep lovely?" He wiped the sleep from his eyes and used his shirt to get rid of the drool from his face.

_Would you be mad if I said I didn't sleep at all? _

He gave a great yawn, and his face was glowing. Definitely a morning person. "Awh, if I would have known you didn't get good sleep I could have stayed up with you." He smiled, reaching out for me and pulling me into his side.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. _Like we need a cranky Bill around here. _He laughed at that. _Plus don't rock stars need their beauty sleep?_

"Not rock stars, just me probably. I don't think I could stay up the whole night and be completely functioning the next day anyways. I always get bitchy for no reason at all." He ran a hand through his hair.

_Obviously from not sleeping though._

"Hm, you're a smart-alec." He jumped out of bed and pulled the strings tighter on his sleep pants. "I didn't sleep talk did I?" He asked me in an innocent voice.

I busted out laughing. _You didn't sleep talk, but I'm sure you'll love the pictures Tom took. _I rolled my eyes, I could stab both of them.

"Tom took pictures of me sleeping?" He sighed sadly. "If you haven't noticed, I'm not the most graceful sleeper out there." Yeah I definitely noticed. "Did you try to stop him?" I blushed and looked down. "What is it lovely?"

_You were kind of holding on to me too tightly for me to move, so I couldn't stop him. And I was faking sleeping. _I rolled my eyes when he blushed.

"Ah, sorry about that."

_Don't worry Billa. _I changed the subject. _I think we should get going, since I think Tom said something about a fun day?_

He groaned. "Yeah… I don't even think I'm up for that anymore."

_Up for what? _I was curious now. What in the world did these crazy Kaulitz boys have in store for us?

"The Fair is in town, and we were planning to go. Actually we've been planning this for months." My face fell, I guess I'm going to be spending today home alone. I should become an old cat lady, at least then I'd have decent company. "Would you like to come with me… us. Would you like to come with us?" I laughed at him.

_You get embarrassed over the slightest of things Bill. _All he had to do was say the word, and he could have asked me on a date.

"Is that a yes?" I nodded. "Well come on!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me to his giant closet and I suppressed a groan. Here we go again with the dress up. Bill threw different clothes in my direction and I was stuck catching them, and picking them off the floor in his wild rant. "You know what you should wear?" He batted his freakishly long eyelashes at me.

_What?_

"Wear a Tokio Hotel shirt!" I shrugged. I didn't see the big idea, I've wore one before to school. Actually now that I thought about it, I think I have the shirt at my house still. He tossed a white shirt in my direction, I caught it on the pile of all the other clothes. I guess that was the shirt. "And do you think you can wear skinnies?"

_How should I know? You're super tall compared to me. Why cant I wear basketball shorts again? _I had a point, I doubt his pants would fit me anyways without being too long.

He smacked himself on his forehead. "Sorry, I must not be fully awake yet." He laughed, taking the pile of clothes from me, all but the lone white shirt. He handed me sky blue ball shorts that came down a little past my knees. I bet you I was going to look super short next to him now! "You should go change now, I think the plans were that we go as early as possible to have more fun. Sound good?"

I nodded and headed out to the bathroom, I passed Jake on the way and his gaze just held a quizzical, but he didn't try anything with me. I wasn't ready for what happened next though. I rounded the corner and Georg hopped out of the doorway and yelled quite loudly towards me, the ass was trying to scare me. I gave a really loud scream from shock, and stumbled backwards and tripped over my own two feet, I fell smack into the wall.

"Ow…" I muttered under my breath, then realization hit me and tears sprung to my eyes. I just formed a word, and it came out of my mouth. It's not allowed to happen.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Georg asked, he was super worried. But all I could do was cry my eyes out, not because of the pain but because of the fear of my words. "I'm so sorry kitten, it was only supposed to be a joke…" He trailed off.

_I'm fine… _I muttered. Tears rolling down my eyes like a waterfall, what was it with me and all this damn crying? It had to stop.

"What in the hell is going on?" Bill loud voice boomed, as he opened the door to his room. His eyes narrowed at Georg, whose arms were around me. Jealous much? Then his eyes looked worried when they made contact with mine.

"I scared her! And I think she hit her head a bit too hard when she fell." He looked back down at me. "Kitten, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for you to be hurt like this…"

_I'm fine… _I mouthed again, gaining my composure and pushing myself up from the floor.

"If your so fine then why are you crying?" Georg questioned. I pushed myself away from him and made myself into the bathroom. I shut the door with a click. Damn. My tears came freely, and I even choked back a sob. Why?

All of a sudden Bill had opened the door and was in front of me. I held open my arms and I welcomed his hug. It always felt so much better when you got a hug while you were hurting. I felt his head snake down and glide across my cheeks. He was kissing away my tears, that was sweet. If only he could kiss away the pain. He planted a firm peck on my pouty lips. Everything was jumbled.

He sat me gently on the bathroom counter and rested his hands on my hips, while standing between my legs. "Why were you crying lovely?" He said sadly, staring into my saddened pained eyes. "If Georg hurt you in anyway…" He trailed off. I love how he was tiny, but trying to take up for me, even though Georg was his friend way before he knew me.

I put a calming hand on the side of his face to make him stop talking. _Georg didn't hurt me Billa, I promise._

He captured my hand on his face and held it there. "Why were you crying?" He asked.

I gave a loud and shaky sigh. _I said a word…_

"As in you talked?" His eyes lit up when I nodded. "That's good though right?"

He just didn't get it. _It's not good ok? Not for me at least. Just don't tell anyone alright? _My eyes must have been pleading.

"I promise not to tell anyone lovely." He sighed deeply, then scooped me off the counter in a giant hug. The kind that spins you both around. We both couldn't stop laughing, and I'm glad I didn't feel all sad and sappy again. I needed happy.

They gave me happy.

XxX

"Tom! Get your slow penguin looking ass down here!" Shilo yelled up the stairs. I laughed. I cant believe she talks to her own boyfriend like that, oh well, more power to her. Everyone was waiting in the living room, were getting ready to leave for the national Fair. We always went to the fair back home, it was always fun, but here; I don't know what to expect. From what I hear all there is to do is ride crazy rides. Which kind of disappointed me, because I was looking forward to petting animals.

Tom apparently couldn't decide on what to wear because it's supposed to be slightly chilly later on tonight. Bill already has us set. He's brought two jackets and a backpack to hold them in, I offered to wear it since I didn't mind. I ended up rolling up my shorts so they stopped just at my knees. No way was I going to risk looking way shorter than Bill if the paparazzi caught us together. Which they most likely will he said. But he don't care.

Bill really wants to see the pictures Tom took, but he said its for future blackmail. I don't see how us sleeping would go in deep to blackmail his twin, but oh well. His mind worked way different.

"Ok, so now we need to figure out the sitting arrangements." Georg thought aloud. Since it was his car, and you'd think an international bass player in a band would have something more nice looking? But you'd think wrong. His car was tiny and crappy looking, but I wasn't judging, at least it got us from place to place. Jake wanted to sit the fair out, but no one trusted in the house alone.

"I'm driving of course, and this little creep can sit shotgun." He said to Jake, he only shrugged like he agreed or something. "I don't know how all four of you all are going to fit in the backseat to make it look like you all have seat belts on?"

"We'll figure something out." Said Tom.

We gathered by the backdoors of his car. Bill was to sit in the middle since he was smaller and it'd be less awkward for them to sit on me. Tom and Shilo got in on either side, I was told to sit half on Shilo's lap and half on Bill's and to lean back to make it look like I was wearing a seat belt. This brings back old memories, my friends parents would always make us do this.

It was super uncomfortable to say the least. But that's when Shilo's cell phone rang.

"Hello?" She said, sounding annoyed right away. "I don't care." Clipped. "Actually I really don't." A pause. "Fine, whatever do what you fucking want." She sounded completely pissed. She ripped the phone from her ear and thrusted it towards Jake in the front seat. "It's Thomas." She said harshly.

Tom reached across me and Bill and scooped up her hand in his. That was the cutest things I've ever seen. If I could have 'awed' I would have, but I wasn't going to chance it. I didn't need to cry again. "Can you talk to me Angel? I need to know what's going on in your pretty little head." He said sweetly to her. She sniffled and nodded. "You don't care that these guys are going to hear do you?"

"I don't mind." She said in a sad voice. "You'll all eventually figure out anyways, so I'm not going to hold it back alright?" And then Shilo talked about why she's living with Bill and Tom. Basically how her mom got in rehab, and it wasn't a pretty story. It almost beats mine, except that hers don't involve people dying. Just a bunch of heartache and loss.

I took Shilo's other hand in mine and I became the supportive friend. I let her cry on my shoulder while she poured everything out. It took a little over an hour to reach the Fair.

This was going to be a long ride…

**:3**

**Like? Dislike? For all you people who love Shilo, you get to know her a little better next chapter. And sorry if this chappy is a bit off? My word doc. Deleted almost all of this chapter and I had to rewrite it. Was. Not. Fun. *shudders.***

**LYRICS :D**

**-****Would you dance, if I asked you to dance? Would you run, and never look back? Would you cry, if you saw me crying? And would you save my soul, tonight? Would you tremble, if I touched your lips? Would you laugh? Oh please tell me this Now would you die, for the one you love? Hold me in your arms, tonight **


	15. Cry for help

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva**

**-The song was Hero- Enrique Iglesias **

Alien

Chapter 15: Cry for help

I was really looking at Shilo in a new perspective, she was so strong. I honestly don't see how she could do it sometimes. I on the other hand would rather have a drug addict mom then not have one at all, then at least I could try to help her change her habits. I couldn't even help her in the situation Bryan put us all in. The ass hole.

I didn't mind hearing Shilo talk about her life, because all in all venting was the best for the human body. It got all the pent up stress and stuff out of your system. Something I didn't really know too much about, but I'll try my best to do something about it in the future. It wasn't about my problems today, it was about Shilo. She was so fragile, but put on a tough front so no one could crack her. Besides her caring friends that is. It made me feel special.

She was taking deep breaths now, trying to calm herself before launching into her story. The only sounds were of Georg's lousy cars transmission and Jake's whispers to whoever Thomas was on the phone. I'm assuming he was whoever looked after their mother.

She gave a shaky sigh. "Mind as well get this shit over with, it'll make me feel so much better." I have her hand a great squeeze and she leaned her head in the crook of my neck. Poor girl. "Well Thomas is the one running the rehab or whatever the hell you want to call it. He called to say she's going to be looked after properly." She sniffled. "I mean what should it matter? She's been to rehab before and every time she's out she always goes back to the drugs."

She started up again after the long awaited silence. "Our dad recently contacted me saying he might drop in to make a brief check up."

"Bullshit!" Tom exploded. "That man left, knowing he was leaving you with a crack addict mom!" I was expecting Shilo to get rude back at him for trashing her mom, but she only gave a sad smile. God. Shilo and Tom really were perfect for each other, they were one of a kind.

"I know." She sighed. "Well that's basically it really. She's been found out by an anonymous tip that they think she might have been doing drugs, and all that jazz, and well, now she's in rehab." She wiped her nose on the inside of her collar. "Thanks you guys for letting us stay at you house. It means so much to both of us." She concluded.

"It really does mean a lot to me too, even though I don't show it." Jake said sadly. I knew he meant it, but he was going to start to have to show it around here. Because frankly, I was getting super sick of well; him in general.

Like Bill read my mind, he almost went off on Jake, but he did it in a calm manner. "Yeah, well I think if it means that much to you, then you need to start acting like it. Because coming into someone's home and harassing them is _not _a good way to show gratitude and thanks." I snuggled into Bill, and if he slung his arm around my waist, pulling him tighter to himself. I saw Shilo visibly grin at us.

I waited for Jake to strike back with a very rude comment but it didn't really happen.

Jake inhaled to say something back, but Georg hopped on that opportunity. "Dude. If you're thinking about saying something harsh to my best friends back there, then I'd better check yourself, because I don't mind back handing someone and sending them out on the side of the road." He said it with barely letting out a single breath. I adored Georg for that, he was so confident and not scared to put someone in their place.

Jake let out a breath in frustration. "Okay, I get it, I'm sorry for everything I've done since I've been at your alls house. Bad talking Bill, calling out Abby, basically being a downright horrible person. And I deserved the shiner Abby gave me."

"Are you actually apologizing?" Shilo said in a super shocked tone, like she could have never believed it if someone else told her.

He shrugged. "I mean, if we have to live with them for who knows how long I might as well stay on everyone's good side."

"Which you've been failing to do." Bill said. "But I understand, and I forgive you." I tapped Bill's belly, because that's the only thing I could reach with my smashed position.

_Forgive him for me too. _I shrugged. _I might as well turn over a new leaf with him. But don't apologize for his face, he definitely deserved it._

Bill gave a big laugh and messed up my hair a bit, I was out of luck because I couldn't fix it. "Abby forgives you too. So I guess we could at least try to work it out, or stay away from each other."

_I like the staying away from each other idea best._

"Me too," He said back. He didn't wait for a response when he suddenly changed topics. "Georg, you should definitely turn it on a music station." He looked down at me. "Preferably American music?" I nodded and the whole car laughed.

Georg messed with his dumb radio for a while, most of it was pretty much static. "Damn! I finally got it!" He said. And familiar sounds of _The Killers; Mr. Brightside _filled the car. This brought back memories. My mom was in love with this song.

"Ah so you know the song Kitten?" Georg asked excitedly.

"Kitten?" Tom asked rather confused sounding.

"Long story." Georg replied. "Anyways, don't you just love The Killers?" He asked me.

I shrugged. I didn't really know a lot by them, my mom mainly liked them. Someone was my favorite song about them, I could relate to it. I gave a silent laugh. No need to clue them in on that embarrassing piece of information.

The ride was going to be super long before we actually got to the Fair, we were going on the highway looking for an exit to stop off for some gas and food. Since we didn't eat at all before we left. I was honestly about to pass out, I was getting really tired. So the last thing I remember was positioning myself to where I was sitting sideways on Bill's lap and putting my head under his chin. Screw the cops and their seatbelt policies. I was tired.

I drifted off.

XxX

"Lovely! Time for a food break, you have to get up and eat something." Bill's sweet voice cooed in my ear. Oh how I'd love to wake up like this every time I decided to go for a nap.

I gave a hearty yawn and opened my eyes. We were alone in the car, and I had somehow found myself off of Bill's lap. _Where are we? And how long have I been asleep? _Simple questions really.

He smirked down at me, he was sort of positioned on top of me. "Well, we've just pulled into the first gas station we saw, and you slept for about an hour or so."

My eyebrows came together in confusion. _Really? An hour isn't too long, and I feel really refreshed. _I thought for a moment. _Why'd we stop here?_

"Georg needs gas, and Tom of course is super hungry like usual." He rolled his eyes. "Are you hungry?" I nodded. "Good." He pulled me up, closer to him. "You'll just love good ole gas station food. It's still early, they might have breakfast foods in there if we hurry."

I nodded and threw open the door, I realized then how hungry I really was. Crying must have given me an appetite, because right now, I felt like I could eat a giant vegetable sculpted cow. Lame I know. We jogged up to the huge looking gas station, it was a bit cold outside, so we picked up our pace. As soon as we made it inside Shilo motioned for me to come see her.

"Have you ever tasted this?" She asked me, holding up a metal can with perspiration falling off of it. It looked like something an energy drink would come in. I shook my head, I don't think I've ever seen that before in my life. "Well this is the most amazing drink _ever _I thought I could only find it in Australia, but I was wrong." She thrusted one my way. "It's called V, you have to try it." I nodded happily and took it from her.

We both made our way to the little food counter. I've never known a gas station to sell food like this before. Eggs, sausages, hash browns, pancakes, and bacon was all setting around the boys. Wow, I was in food heaven. I plopped down next to Bill and he took my hand in his. I placed the V next to me in the booth. "Eat up." Bill said to me. "Were going to have a long day ahead of us."

I took a nice portion of the eggs onto my plate and drowned them in syrup. Bill gave me a questioning gaze as I popped a mouthful into my mouth. _What their really good! _He didn't look like he believed me, so I took a forkful and held it out to him. I slid it into his mouth and his eyes lit up.

"Wow Abby, that really is good." He chewed as he talked with his mouth full. "Georg pass the syrup!"

Apparently we all ate before we had to pay, and Bill paid for me, as Tom paid for Shilo. Gentlemen for sure. As we were in line I cracked open the V and took a huge drink of it, it made me cough because I want used to the flavor. I could feel the tingles going up and down my spine, yeah this stuff was amazing. I was going to be fueled for the rest of the day.

We all hopped back into the car. Forward on our journey…

XxX

By the time we all arrived at the Fair it was well into the afternoon, since Georg's car decided to have issues. It was starting to get dark out, but that wasn't going to stop me from having a lot of fun with the guys. Well mainly Bill, since we all broke off at the park entrance, we were to meet when it closed. In a few hours to be exact. Today was going to be fun!

"Where do you want to go first lovely?" Bill asked, looking down at me. Our hands were entwined.

I shrugged. _I don't know where to begin! This place is so huge, so maybe you should pick, since I've never been before? _

"Definitely!" He seemed too excited about everything. "We're going to have to ride that!" He was looking for any signs of a long line, and when he saw that it was empty he gave an excited tug on my hand. Jeez Bill could act like a little kid sometimes. I laughed as he pulled me up the giant wooden steps of _Twisted Sister. _"This ride is going to make you freak!"

_Why's that? _I don't really get scared of roller coasters that easy. They were more fun than anything, they made me scream and laugh.

"Well, there are two coasters going at once, and it makes us think were going to run into the other carts at some point?" He said sounding even confused for him. "And when we fall into the tunnel it takes our picture!" He exclaimed. I was out of breath when we finally made it to the top level of the ride. "Front or back?" Bill asked me.

_Definitely back, it feels like we get to go faster. _We both filed into the cart together, but they made us wait for more people to ride it. Surprisingly we saw Georg hop into the cart in the front without anyone. Poor Georg, he must be roaming the part alone. Suddenly I was pulled out of my thoughts as cameras started flashing around me and Bill.

"Paparazzi." He muttered under his breath while I tried to shield myself. Wow these people would stop at nothing to get what they desired.

Then a round of questions happened started going on amongst the crowd of frenzied people. _Bill is she your girlfriend? Why are you holding hands? When were you planning on telling your fans that your taken? Sooner better than later? How about the new tour coming up? Sweetheart what's your name? _One of the nicer one asked me. I didn't answer, just kept my head tucked under Bill's arm, which was around my back.

The _Twisted Sister _intercom came on then. "Please step away from the roller coaster, it's about to be in motion. And I hope you all have a nice day in the local fair." Her voice sounded almost automatic, but I could see her as she pulled the lever and made the coaster launch in motion.

"Get ready! This is my favorite ride here at the fair, keep your eyes open and it'll be worth it." I nodded as the coaster climber its way up, and I clenched on for dear life as it made its fast plunge down the dark and scary tunnel. I'm pretty sure both my arms were around Bill's body as the picture was snapped.

The only thing you could hear was shrieks and Bill's soft laughter in my ear, that's the only sound that mattered. I cant believe it. For the first time in years I was genuinely having a good time, laughing, screaming, no fear. And you know what? It felt great. I wish I could live like this everyday. I could if I came clean with my demons, but I don't think it'll happen soon.

"Did you love it?" Bill's voice caught me off guard as I came back to my senses I couldn't help to notice that we were back at the starting place of the coaster. He didn't wait for my response as he unbuckled us and raced to see our pictured.

I wish he'd slow down a bit, he was like a little kid with too much caffeine in their systems. I was definitely regretting not being able to properly sleep last night, it was weighing down my very being and I was trying not to let it show. But I knew it was, since I wasn't really lively. Besides my earlier V, I was fueling solely on breakfast food from the ratty gas station. I was definitely going to snap at Bill before this night was over with.

I had to admit, our picture was pretty funny though. My eyes were closed and my arms encircled Bills frame, as he was looking down at me with a sweet look on his face while laughing. I tugged on his arm and he looked at me expectantly. _We have to buy this, I think it's so cute!_

"My thoughts exactly." We bought two medium sized copies of the picture and shoved it in the backpack. "How'd you survive the paparazzi?"

I shrugged as we walked on. _They were really pushy, and I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of them._

"Same here, I think their lurking on us somewhere, probably right now even." I laughed at his expression. "We might as well make the most of it right?" I nodded as he entwined our fingers and slung our hands back and forth between us.

We weren't really riding many rides, since I told him I felt a little sick, which wasn't a lie. And I was deathly tired, and I think I needed sugar. Ever felt like that before? Like you needed a good dose of soda, and then you'd feel better? We were passing many booths and funny acts. There were jugglers to in progress singers looking for spare change. Bill even gave them a few dollars, I swear he was so sweet. His heart was always in the right place.

_You should buy me some cotton candy. _I said up to him. We had stopped in the way of many people, and they were forced to walk around us. We were facing each other with both of our hands entwined.

His head tipped to the side in a cute way. "Oh really now?" I nodded in excitement. "You like the pink kind?" Another nod. "Good me too, we can share." He said happily.

Pretty soon we were on our way walking again, sharing our cotton candy. I made our way to a bench, god I needed to have a seat for a while. My whole body was aching. "You okay lovely?" He asked, concerned.

I nodded. _I just wished I slept better last nigh, I feel so exhausted. I'm sorry I'm keeping you from doing what you want and riding what you want. _I did feel bad.

"No need to worry." He said sweetly, pulling off a chuck of cotton candy and holding it to my lips. I took it in my mouth along with the tip of his finger, I sucked the sweetness off of it. It made me blush too. "I'm having so much fun with you right now its not even funny."

I felt so warm under his gaze. _Billa, you have to be the sweetest person I've ever met in my whole life._

He placed his hand on the side of my face and leaned down slowly. I knew what was going to happen next. "You really think so?" He asked. I didn't reply, only responded with a kiss on his awaiting lips. In the distance I could see fireworks going off. I closed my eyes, living in the moment never felt so nice.

That's when the paparazzi lept out from behind us with cameras. Damn. This was going to put a damper on Bill's career, or it was going to hurt many fan girls when news was published into the local magazines and newspapers. They were in a shock though. We weren't even dating.

I would need to have a talk with Bill about this soon…

More like today…

**:3**

**I know it's prolly rushed but I got where I intended :]**

**LYRICS :D**

**-You've been hidin out for quite a while now, livin off the people you know, tryin to raise a little money to pay off all the monkeys that you met inside the rabbit hole. You're takin candy from the White Witch, smoking tea with Momma Kin, now theres a wolf outside your brick house, Screamin, "This time I'm gonna blow it in!" Cos your mind is a weapon see? And it's got you on your hands and knees. Screamin, pull the trigger if you wanna, we all know that your gonna, count off 123! **


	16. Piggyback

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva**

**-The song was Cry for help- Shinedown **

Alien

Chapter 16: Piggyback.

I broke off the kiss with a really goofy laugh, I couldn't help it. Everything about this boy made me feel alive. I was really beginning to think he liked me back too, I mean he had to have right? Every time we had ended up kissing, he was the one to initiate it. Except for tonight, I had bounded my happy self up to his lips, but he definitely kissed me back. God. I don't know what to do. If we weren't surrounded by paparazzi I would have cried probably.

Instead I hopped up and yanked on Bill's arm very enthusiastically. He followed suit, and I was very glad that the paparazzi didn't follow us, we probably made them rich with the kissing pictures. I took us towards the Ferris Wheel, because honestly who comes to the Fair/Amusement park and don't even think twice about riding it? It was my favorite thing to do.

When we stopped at the end of the crowded line we were both out of breath and smiling at each other. Who knew running from the paparazzi could be this much fun? "I'm glad to see you're having fun lovely." Bill smiled happily down at me. "It's not everyday I have fun like this, I'm glad you decided to come."

I smiled back, maybe even showing some teeth, yeah I was that happy. Happy was good. _I literally haven't had this much fun in years Billa. I'm so grateful to have met you guys, you all know how to have fun. _

"We are always getting into some kind of trouble, but hey, as long as your having fun in the progress who cares right?" He was so mischevieous. I nearly jumped out of my skin as he leaned down to try and place another kiss on my lips. I felt bad when I backed away, but I felt twice as worse as a hurt look came over his face.

_Why does that keep happening? _I asked. I might as well get it over with, because I don't think I should keep this affectionate stuff going on between us if it didn't really mean anything.

"What? Us kissing?" He asked confused. God, he could be a bit slow sometimes, but he sure as hell looked cute doing it. I nodded. He blushed. "I don't know…" He trailed off. Wow, nice answer, I knew he didn't mean any harm by it, but that answer made me feel hurt.

I tried to play it off. _Does it mean anything to you? _I asked, looking down at my feet. I was embarrassed. Never the one for confessing my feelings or talking about them like this. It felt scary.

"I really don't know, that's why I keep kissing you. I really like you, but I want to make sure, so I'm not sure. Are you following me?" I rolled my eyes and took my hands from his and wrapped them around myself. "Please Abby, don't be like this." His eyes were pleading.

_I just don't want you to lead me on. I don't need to get hurt, right now in my life, I need happy. _My eyes were filling with tears, and I blinked them away. I had to be strong.

"I kissed you, because I really care about you. But I just don't know. I'm going to try my best not to hurt you lovely, alright?" I nodded. "Do you think it's weird that we kiss and hold on to each other if we're not dating?"

I could have slapped myself just then. _I kind of like it. It's nice being able to be close to someone and not having to worry about the outcome. With you, I know it'll always be okay between us._

"I feel the same, I haven't been close like this with someone in too long, and I'm just scared." He sighed. "It kind of feel nice to do this with you, without being committed. Does this make me sound like a man whore?" He asked me seriously.

I laughed. _It doesn't. But it kind of makes me feel like were friends with benefits or something minus the sex._

He rolled his eyes. "Actually, I don't have a problem with that." He blushed. "But it's your call, if you ever want it to be more, just let me know alright?"

I was a bit confused on that. _Like as in a relationship?_

He nodded. "Ugh, I feel like the king of douche bags right now."

I smiled. _Well don't. I'm perfectly fine with it, except I don't really like the term friends with benefits. Cant we just be best friends?_

He laughed. "Abby Baker, you are my best friend." He twirled me around kissing me full on the lips. It was scary how in sync our lips mover with each others, it was like we were a perfect puzzle, finally matching up. I kissed him back. Usually it's just a peck. Now it was something new forming in my body, a fire.

Was it safe to be falling in love with an international rock star?

I sighed happily, as our hands were laced and we were moving on up in the Ferris Wheel line. I think we made the right choice. He wasn't for sure if he truly liked me, and I wasn't sure if I wanted a relationship. All I knew was that I needed Bill, and he needed me. I wasn't going to toss our friendship aside if this idea was going to crash and burn, I would always be there for him.

I was a bit scared though. But at the same time I felt happy. I was happy with my decision. People were going to be in for a huge shock when the newspapers came out, I wondered how the rest of the guys were going to figure out. On their own I guess. I mean I was good with secrets, its just that I hated being called out on stuff sometimes. So this might be getting a little tough.

"Ticket?" The lady standing by the entrance asked us. Bill handed over both our tickets and we clambered up the stairs to the shaky Ferris Wheel cart. I loved these things, I liked when it stalled at the top for a while and you could take in the view from the park, it was always pretty, no matter where your at.

Pretty soon the ride was in motion. Me and Bill sat across from each other, and I took the cotton candy from his hand. Man did I love this stuff. He gave me a great smile. "I want to learn more about you lovely." He said in an excited tone.

I rolled my eyes. _What do you want to know?_

"Well, everything. But lets start off with the basics, I hear you talk about Andy a lot who was he to you?"

Ah, no one has asked me about him in a while. _Andy was my brother and twin. So sometimes that's why I think you get me so much at times. Were both twins, you and me._

"I never thought of it that way." He smiled sadly. "What happened to Andy?" He said cautiously.

_He died… _Tears were back in my eyes, but I disregarded them. _I don't really want to talk about it, if it's okay with you. _It wasn't a question, because either way I was _not _about to have that conversation right now. I couldn't handle it.

"You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to." He reached for both of my hands and held them in front of us. He was so sweet. "How about home, do you have any relatives back there?"

I nodded. _I have my grandpa, a few aunts and uncles and that's about it. I have a really small family._

"Sounds nice." He said. "Why'd you guys decide to move to Germany if you all have family still back home?"

I rolled my eyes. _My dad thought going international would make him and his restaurants pretty famous. Which it has I suppose. He's been on cooking shows quite a bit in the past years._

He shook his head, he was having a good time having one on one time talking to me. "What's your favorite color lovely? Wait. Let me try to guess." He was actually thinking about this. "Black."

_Hardly. I really enjoy purple, like a lilac color._

"I don't think I would have ever guess it." He said sadly.

I laughed and he looked up at me expectantly. _Well my room is lilac. You've been in there before haven't you?_

"It's been a while I guess." He smirked. He leaned over the edge of the cart, we were perched at the very tip of the Ferris Wheel. It made the whole thing dart in the direction his body went. "Abby, you _have _to see the view, it's so beautiful."

I dared a look too, scooting closer to the edge of the cart. It was a gorgeous sight to behold. I knew the cart wasn't actually going to tip over, it's just that it freaked me out a bit. But its like you could see for miles up here! It was pitch black, with nothing but the carnival rides and various glowing people lighting up the park. Glowing as in they were wearing glow sticks. There was a huge fountain, and when it shot out water, it lit up the sky with lights. Fireworks were everywhere. This place was gorgeous.

"Don't you just wish you could stay here forever?" He asked me. I think he knew that answer pretty well. I don't think I'd like to live on the Ferris Wheel per-se, but I'd like to live somewhere this pretty. I'd never get tired of the view.

XxX

"God damn Georg!" Shilo exclaimed. We were now setting in the middle of Dairy Queen, pigging out. Or mainly Georg was pigging out, and that's why Shilo was scolding him. I swear this woman has beef with everyone. "Do you want to choke?" She scoffed.

"Like you care!" Georg bit back through a huge mouthful of a spicy chicken sandwich. Honestly that sounded so delicious right now. But I had to keep my vow to be a vegetarian, it made me happy. God this boy was a pig.

I was just nervously picking at my biscuits and gravy, not really thinking about anything. Honestly, my mind was exhausted, and I felt like I was going to pass out at any second. This table was sure looking comfy. I needed food though, since I was starving, so I just took little bites here and there. Washing everything down with giant gulps of Big Red. Food and caffeine always made things better.

"You ok there Kitten?" Georg asked me around mouthfuls of food, could he be anymore gross?

I rolled my eyes. _I'm just super tired. I'm passing out when we get back home._

"I hear you on that one." He actually swallowed his food before he kept talking! "What did you guys think about the paparazzi? They were pretty vicious tonight huh?"

Tom laughed. "They definitely got a picture of me and Shilo getting hot and heavy in the cloud 9 river boat thing."

Bill scoffed. "At least you were fully clothed, I'm hoping." The tone in his voice sounded like he wasn't so sure about that.

"How about you two?" Tom pointed a new question in our direction. "On a scale one to ten how bad did they bother you guys?"

"Oh, they weren't that bad, but they got some serious pictures of me and Abby." Bill said. I didn't know whether or not Bill was going to tell them about us kissing, because I could care less in my state at the moment. Because frankly, they were going to figure out sooner or, well tomorrow.

"What kind of pictures did they get of you all?" Shilo began. "I'm sure they're way more decent than the ones of me and Tom. Your fan girls are going to get a kick out of those when they see them. Sorry if you all lose a few more fans because of it."

Bill scoffed. "Who cares, if they cant love us for who we are then well you know." He said sweetly. I knew he cared for each and every one of his fans, and it would hurt him if he lost a lot of them. But that shouldn't stop him from being happy.

Tom laughed. "Wow lil bro, are you seriously dodging the question my woman asked you?"

Bill's cheeks tinged a deep red color. "I'm not dodging anything." Bill said back. Wow, smooth.

"You guys fucked in the bushes or some shit didn't you, and the paparazzi caught you?" Tom exclaimed, I swear the look on his face was so legit, like he figured out why we didn't want to talk about it. I scoffed and flipped him off.

Georg cracked up. "Every time you do something like that it's just so adorable!" He cooed at me, and I found myself blushing.

"Like a kitten!" Jake concluded. Fist bumping with Georg. I did a double take. No way in hell were they bonding? Did they bond at the park? What the hell have I missed in this cruel world.

"So if you guys didn't do it, then it had to be a down grade. Blowjob?" Tom said, without a miss of beat. I flipped him off again. "It was wasn't it?" I blushed. "Called it!"

"Oh my god. You are a pig!" Bill spat at him. "All me and Abby did was kiss. And for one, Abby is a lot more classy than to blow someone in the bushes of a fair." Bill seemed so pissed off at his twin, but I knew they would get over it soon. They couldn't stay mad at each other for that long. I knew that from twin experience.

"I was just joking, to get the truth to come out, and it worked." Tom exclaimed happily.

We were basically the talk of the table for almost 10 whole minutes, apparently we were cute and adorable, and they don't understand why we don't just date already. And Shilo wants to bitch slap Bill because he said he don't know for sure if he likes me or not. At the back of my mind I knew he had to have liked me, maybe he was just scared to fall in love? Everyone is afraid of falling in love every now and then, so this must be his time.

I felt oddly bad for Georg, who didn't really contribute much to the topic of me and Bill. One less person to embarrass me I guess, and I was thankful for that. Even Jake was putting in the effort to be the good guy, no way did I trust him though. I actually hated him. I don't know why, but I couldn't find it in myself to let it go. He had hurt Bill, inside and out. No way was I going to forgive him.

All this talk was giving me an appetite, so I started shoveling the food in my mouth. Bill laughed at me. "Slow your roll, you don't want to get a tummy ache." I shrugged. I didn't really care as long as the food was put away. The longer the food sat there the longer it got on my nerves. I just hated slow eaters. Wow, I must have been super hunger, rambling on and on about how people eat food. Crazy!

The only thing left was my drink, and I sipped on it greedily. "Wow, and I thought Georg and Tom had a hell of an appetite!" Bill laughed towards me.

I laughed too. _What can I say? I get really hungry when I'm tired. Which is why I need my sleep, or I'll blow up like a blimp._

Bill laughed. "You are too cute, lovely." He laced our fingers and I kept myself from leaning my head on his shoulder. If I did I knew I was going to be knocked out in a second, and I didn't want that. The most annoying thing in the world is just getting to sleep after a long day, then being woke up a few minutes later. I just hate it.

I couldn't wait until we got back to their house so I could cuddle up to Bill and drift off into the peaceful dreams, I knew I was going to have. I never dreamed much anymore.

"Well, what do you guys say? You think it's about time to get going?" He peaked a glance at his watch. "Yikes. It's almost two in the morning! Simone wont get pissed will she?"

Tom snorted. "She don't care as long as we get home safely and soundly. Plus it don't matter if were in or not, she's out of town for some hairstylist tour." That sounds oddly complicated. Too much pressure if you ask me.

I hopped up excitedly. _Come on! _I mouthed down to Bill, yanking on his hand.

He followed me to the car and we leaned on it, until Georg could come and unlock everything. "Why the rush lovely?"

_I need to take a nap or something right now, or I'm going to lose it._

He laughed. "You can lay on me, don't worry."

_Looking forward to it. _I yawned. Georg finally unlocked all the doors and I plopped happily down on Bill's lap. I closed my eyes and fell asleep within five minutes of the car in motion. We had a long ride until we got to our desired destination, so I might as well make myself comfortable. And curled up in Bill's lap was the way to go.

Actually I lied. Laying there, in Bill's lap I dreamed. It wasn't nothing bad, just innocent dreams. Pointless things you'd never remember when you woke up, and I didn't really care, as long as I was enjoying myself. Dreaming was fun when it didn't turn into nightmares, and I was still waiting for it, but it never came.

What did come was the abrupt jerking that woke me up from dead sleep. We couldn't be home that fast could we? No way in hell exactly. My eyes popped open and I became aware of my surroundings. Everyone was cussing, so that couldn't be good. "Everyone out of the car!" Georg boomed with authority. I was tense as Bill picked me up bridal style and pulled me out of the car with himself.

"Hey." He smiled down at me.

_What the hell is going on? _Yeah, those words seemed to fit what I was thinking.

"Georg's car stopped working, or in other words it's broken down."

I nodded in acknowledgement. He was still cradling me to his chest, it was really cute. "There was a hotel just up the way, want to chance it and walk? Since this car is gone for." Georg said sadly. He really did love his old piece of crap car.

I looked around at everyone, they all looked wore out and tired. "I think that's the best thing we could do." Tom spoke up.

"Here, I'll piggy back you." Bill said sweetly down to me. "I know how tired you are, you don't need this walk. And I don't mind. I promise."

I was too tired to protest, I yawned and nodded. He bent down so I could climb up on his back. We made our way to the hotel that was probably crappy, but I didn't care as long as I got to sleep in a nice and warm bed.

Wasn't Bill sweet?

**:3**

**I'm not gonna be home for a while, so I decided to update :]**

**LYRICS :D**

**- We roll up! Like no one can do it baby. It's lights out, turn the fuckin' system up, it's one night! Rollin through your town tonight. So stand up! Space and Cinema Bizarre! So get up! Nod your head and tell me, it's what's up. Getting hot and heavy! The phones on, so take our picture we don't care, so get up! Let me hear you sing it loud! **

**REVIEW? :]**


	17. Thunder Rolls

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva**

**-Shaker 10 and malec 4 eva got the song :3 Cinema Bizarre ft. Space Cowboy- I came to party :D**

Alien

Chapter 17: Thunder Rolls

I loved being able to float peacefully in my dreams. Even though I know I wont remember anything when I eventually wake up. I'd rather not remember the happiness that was displayed in my dreams. They always made me feel depressed afterward, which is the only reason I knew they were happy in the first place. Floating is the only way I can really describe what I feel now. The only think I see is nothingness, and it's the least I can ask for.

No pain, no hope, no wishing, maybe everything was normal here? I never dared to go further in my dreams to figure it out. It scared me too much. Right now, I was knocked out, and enjoying every second of it. I don't think I've ever slept this heavy before, well besides the time I woke from the coma. I was pretty tired afterwards. But this right here, was pure exhaustion. I'm finally glad I got to sleep.

I didn't know where I was though, all I knew was I was with my _friends. _Man it still felt weird saying I had friends. And it felt pretty good too. Friends. And Bill was beginning to grow in my heart as more than a friend. Actually I'm pretty sure I was in love with that boy. Too soon to know? Who knows. But all I do know is that we have one hell of a connection, and I'm not going to ruin it. Try not to anyways. I always end up doing something in the end.

Once I found my way out of the blackness of sleep my eyes popped open fast. Sometimes I still didn't like to not know my surroundings, like now for instance. I opened my eyes to a black room, dimly lit with the light of the bathroom shining through the cracked door. I remember jerking really hard, and if someone wasn't laying directly next to me I would have taken a nice fall out of the bed, tumbling to the ground. Whoever I almost mauled didn't feel like Bill.

I was a bit creeped out now. Lightning lit up the room for a second and my heart beat slowed. Only Georg. Turning on my other side I found a very ungraceful Bill. He wasn't lying when he said he was one of the worst sleepers out there. It still made my heart swell, because he was always adorable in my eyes. Ah, so I was stuck in between two famous rockstars? I'm highly okay with that. I smirked to myself.

I wonder how big this room is anyways? My eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness by now, and I saw that there were three people in the bed next to us too. Shilo, Jake and Tom I presume. I rolled my eyes. Blonde moment! The guys must have walked to a hotel to stay at for the night, ah, explains so much. I wonder when I fell asleep on the journey here? Because the last thing I honestly remember was hoping on Bill's back for a piggyback ride. I hope he caught me if I fell!

I'm the idiot, obviously I'm here and well right? I slid down from the bed and onto the floor, I had to go to the bathroom. Why the hell was I wet anyways? I made it in and looked at my reflection. My eyes bulged! I looked like I was a drowned cat. Well it was raining outside, we couldn't have been here that long could we have? I feel so refreshed. I checked my phone. Only a few hours? Nice.

Thunder shook the hotel room, and I shuddered to myself. I hated storms, they always shook me up, no matter what. I blinked furiously as I realized I was standing in a black room. What the fuck. No way in hell. God damn. The power cant go off right now! This is impossible! I didn't want to feel like a baby in front of my friends, I was absolutely terrified right now. I felt around for the doorknob, I was going to have to feel my way to the bed. I just hope I made it to the right one.

My heart was thumping, I was in a dark room. I felt myself wanting to hyperventilate, but I pushed the thoughts away and kept my mind clear. I couldn't do this now. I took slow steps straight forward, because the bed was almost directly across from the bathroom. Slowly but surly I felt the hardwood floor turn into carpet. The beds were on carpet. I sighed in relief when my legs hit the board of the bed. I even felt around and only felt two people in it.

I slowly and quietly climbed in the middle, I didn't want to upset or wake anyone. Well the one person I wanted up, I was going to awake. Like it or not. I wish the curtains were open, at least _some _light would gleam in. More lightning even. I whimpered from my position on the bed. I carefully climbed on top of Bill, not caring; I just had to be close to him. As I settled myself on a laying position on him, head on his chest, legs spread out around his. God, I felt like an oversized cat.

He only snored louder, somehow making Georg give a giant snore too. I rolled my eyes. Guys were ridiculous with their ways.

Too much thunder and lightning was taking over the room, which means the storm was directly on us. I was shaking and crying, I didn't know what else to do. I gave Bill a giant shove, and then more heavy shakes. He mumbled in his sleep, then tried to push me off of him. When he felt me clinging on to him he stopped, probably realizing it was me. "Why's it so dark?" He mumbled. Obviously half asleep. I shoved him again for good measure. "Ugh, Abby? What's going on?" He said again louder.

I shushed him loudly.

I could only imagine his expression right now. That's probably the closest to talking he's ever heard. "What's wrong?" He said again, more firm now. He was definitely in his concerned mode; fully awake.

Thunder shook the room again and I snuggled closer. I was too scared, and I had to say so. I wasn't going to freak out on his part and leave him in the dark without nothing; literally. "I'm scared." I whispered as lowly as I could, barley audible. Even to my own ears.

He sucked in a breath, shocked most likely. "It's only a storm." He said gently. "Here get next to me, I'll hold you and wont let nothing bad happen you." He said with a yawn coming off of his beautiful voice. Even when he was tired. I slid off of his long and lean body, noting the happiness I felt as my leg brushed across his crotch. _Guys._

I tucked myself tightly next to him, I don't think we could have gotten closer if I tried. This was perfect as he wrapped his arms around my tiny and scared body. I trusted him that nothing was going to happen, he gave me a sense of calm. I felt him smile in my hair. "I'll never let anything happen to you lovely, you can always count on me. I promise."

And I believed him. I nodded against his chest, feeling my head knock against his chin, making his teeth clink together. I sucked in a quick breath, did I hurt him? "It's fine lovely. Don't worry about me." He assured me, patting my back and smoothing away all the stress I've built up from being scared. I sighed contently as Bill quietly hummed to me. It wasn't enough for me to fall asleep, but soon enough I heard his snores again.

I tried to free myself from his murderous grasp, but we all know how that plays out. Not well apparently. Instead I willed my eyes to shut. I was going to get a good nights rest, or whatever. I had to sleep, because I knew the journey to get Georg's damn car fixed awaited us in the morning, and I doubt anyone wants to wait around for that, it seems so boring. Car stuff. Pssh.

XxX

What made me realize my sleep was over was when sunlight was piercing my eyes. And well you know… someone was shaking the crap out of me. It wasn't getting any more pleasant so I saved myself the dizziness and just opened my eyes. I scowled as I saw Bill standing there with his giant ass smile, and his fucking peppy attitude. What time is it anyways? Not. In. The. Mood. Damn. His expression crossed to hurt as I threw a pillow over my head and rolled in the bed.

I gave a little yelp as I hit the floor, ugh I was so clumsy when I first woke up. Isn't falling out of the bed the best way to start your day? I know right? I humored myself as I just laid there, with my pillow as a cushion for my head. My legs were sprawled in different uncomfortable directions. I was a stubborn bitch when I first wake up. And the sad part is I felt myself falling back to sleep while I was on the floor.

Bill picked me up off the floor and held me bridal style. "Time to get going lovely." He smiled down at me. A little part of him was hoping I was going to talk to him with actual words, but I couldn't. I only did because last night was a weak point, and I was too scared.

_But I don't wanna! _I drawled out the wanna part. Because I could honestly care less right now, if I wanted to sleep, that would be the only thing on my mind for ages.

"But you have to!" He sang. "Aren't you hungry?" He taunted me with the thought of food. But it wasn't working. I shook my head and pulled myself sloser to his chest. "We go back to school tomorrow! Aren't you excited?" I shook my head again. Definitely not. He sighed. "I guess your dad was right when he said you were stubborn and grumpy when you first wake up huh?"

I nodded to him. _I hate mornings. _

He laughed at that. "Well if you want to call one in the afternoon a morning be my guest."

It didn't phase me in the least. _I could still go to bed right now, so it don't matter. _I stuck my tongue out at him. _I'm a really lazy person, if you haven't noticed._

"Oh, I've noticed!" He exclaimed with a smirk in his voice. "Lets see here. I'm carrying you, and you're practically falling asleep in my arms."

I gave a silent groan. _Why do you have to be so happy? _

He smiled. "I like to be happy, it usually makes everyone around me happy." He placed me on my own two feet and I swayed. I immediately wanted to be in his arms again. I gave a great yawn and stretched, it felt so good to do so. He took my hands in his and sat us both down on the bed. God, here it comes.

I beat him to the punch, because I already knew where this was going. _About last night… _He cut me off with an apologetic smile.

"Yeah, about last night…" He trailed off. "It was ok you know." I raised my eyebrows at him, ushering him to keep talking. "It's not bad to talk. Like, I don't know what's made you this way, but obviously it wasn't good right?" I nodded barely moving my head. "Why did you talk?" He asked, eyes softening as they met my gaze.

Well I was fully awake now; sadly. _I was scared… _I trailed off. I really didn't know what he wanted me to say. _I talked because it was dark, and I wanted you to help me out. Thank you Billa._

He blushed. "Your welcome lovely." This time I leaned up for a kiss, desperately needing it. Our lips moved in sync, and I enjoyed it as he slipped his tongue in my mouth. Tongue stud was cold against mine, I even made him moan?

"Whoa you guys!" Tom boomed, practically in front of us with that damn camera. He smirked as he looked down at the screen, satisfied with what he captured. "When are you going to come for food? Or are you happy with what your going to eat here baby bro?" I gasped from his remark and flipped him off with both my hands. "You're just so cute!" He cooed and ruffled my hair. Messing it worse than it was.

Bill scoffed. "You are such a pig." He stated towards his brother. "And were coming! Damn."

Tom rolled his eyes. "I'm just going to hang here and sleep until the car is up and running."

I gaped at Bill. _So he's allowed to sleep?_

He busted out laughing. "Well, I'm bored without you lovely!" He pouted. I placed a quick kiss on his lips and hopped up, putting on my shoes. Great, time to start the day. "What do you want to eat?" He asked on our war down the hotel flight of steps. Man this place was trashy.

_Waffle House. _I said blandly, I was in the mood for breakfast food in the afternoon and I knew they could take care of my needs.

He smiled, taking my hand. "I swear I was just craving waffles, we must have the twin thing going on."

_Good thing there's one right across the street, because my feet are blistered and aching from all the walking we did yesterday. _If I thought they were hurting the other day, I was wrong. I felt pain now, I might have been limping a bit.

Bill snorted and I elbowed him playfully in the ribs. "What? I mean I did carry you around a lot yesterday."

I rolled my eyes. _Not at the fair! God that was too much walking… you should give me a foot rub! _My facial expression said it all.

"Sorry, I don't like feet!" Bill laughed at me. He held the door open for me, and shocker! We were the only ones in there besides the lazy looking staff members. What did you expect? Waffle house in the middle of no where, of course the staff was going to be lazy since no one ordered anything.

A very feminine looking guy came up and greeted us, well greeted Bill. The guy acted like I wasn't even there! He must have been totally checking out Bill. I rolled my eyes, of course. "What can I do for you?" He asked Bill, with a flirty voice. Did everyone speak English here?

He smiled happily and looked down at his menu, I did the same because this boy didn't play about his food. "I want a large sized waffles?" He said confused. "And powdered sugar! And I would like eggs and hash browns too." He said smoothly. "How about you Abby?" The waiter turned with a very displeased look on his face.

_Same. _I kept it short.

"What would you guys like to drink?" He asked, turning back to Bill.

"She'll have a Big Red and I'll take a Coke."

"Ok." He said swiftly, closing his notepad and walking behind the bar so he could get to cooking.

_HOLYSUGARTITS!_

"Oh god Shilo's worn off on you…" He trailed off.

_Never mind that! He was totally checking you out! _I was getting a really big kick out of this.

"What? Ew! No!" Was his only reaction.

_In denial?_

"I'm not gay Abby." He said with his mouth drawn into a fine line, wow, touchy subject much.

_I__ know Billa, I'm just teasing you. _I reached for his hands across the table and I gave them a firm squeeze. I hated seeing him sad like this, I'd rather have him his good ole peppy self than this.

"I know, but still. My whole life I've been teased about it, I don't need it from you too alright?" He said sadly.

_Ok, it wont happen again._

"Good!" He exclaimed very happy again.

XxX

We hung out in Waffle House for hours just talking and laughing, and lets just say the waiter wasn't gay. Simply mistook Bill for a girl. I wanted to laugh when I figured it out, but I didn't want to hurt his self esteem anymore. I did enough with the gay crap, even though it wasn't too bad, I still had felt bad. Today was good. Keyword _was._

I'm home now. Sadly. My dad is home too, and he's brought home a girl, who isn't Simone. I hate him when he's like this, he is just a man whore sometimes and it kills me. Mom wouldn't have approved, Andy would have rebelled, and I well, I don't know. I cant really protest, because the therapist said it was completely normal. But we all know that. I think its hard on me because she isn't my mom. I'll never get that back.

I had locked myself in my room, refusing to come out and greet them, I was sick of him and his ways. It was gross and wrong, I mean why couldn't he find a woman and stick with her? Love was always better that way, wasn't it? I was shaken from my thoughts with their insane laughter coming from the room next to mine. The guest bedroom. Fuck.

I wish I was feeling the rush of happiness from earlier, but all I felt now was helplessness and depression. I knew what I was getting ready to do, and I hated it, bus sometimes it was the only way I stayed sane. My razor. I was craving the rush of hard cold steel slashing my skin. I gave in to the wanting and craving. I was weak.

I dug through one of my bags, it was nestled in an old wallet compartment. My enemy. My friend. My downfall. I cried so hard as I heard the moans from the other room. Why does my family have to be so broken? I locked myself into my bathroom, hoping I could hear them any less. It didn't really make a difference.

I held the blade at the base of my left wrist and made cuts, designs, shapes… whatever you want to call it. Anything to take my mind off of reality. I was in a trance, and nothing was breaking it. I was ashamed of myself, and for what I've done. It only made me feel worse and cut even worse. I finally came to and realized what I did.

I looked at my arm in disgust. "FUCK!" I yelled in frustration. I kicked the tub with all my might and regretted it instantly. I bowed down and cried on the floor. Blood stained my bare legs as I brought them to my chest and held them there.

Why do I let these things get to me?

**:3**

**Well I had to throw some depression in there :] Wonder if Bill will notice tomorrow at school? ;) Hope you all liked it? :D**

**LYRICS :D**

**- Got a secret? Can you keep it? Swear this one you'll save! Better lock it, in your pocket takin this one to the grave. Cos if I show you, then I know you wont tell what I saw! Cos two can keep a secret if one of them is dead ;)**

**REVIEW :D**


	18. I'm starving for your affection

**-**I'm going to be trying something new in this chapter, I hope you guys approve. It's to get a clearer read on how Bill feel's towards Abby and all that jazz. :3 Basically to liven up the story a bit.**-**

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu**

**-Shaker10, Tokio Nutter and Sakura Kiryuu got the song :] The Pierces- Secret **

Alien

Chapter 18: I'm starving for you affection

**BPOV :3**

I was having a staring contest with myself in the mirror. It was going on six in the morning and I had to get ready for school! At this rate I might be late again, since I'm the slowest person to ever to dress. I was a total diva sometimes. Scrutinizing myself in the mirror I realized I should do something about my eyebrows, I mean bushy much? Guys could go for a wax and it be normal right? Doubt it in today's society outlook.

My hair was a total mess and I knew there was no was in hell I was going to have enough time to style it this morning. I hastily combed it out and tied it back in a low ponytail. Should I even go for makeup today? Screw it. I tossed on my bag and jogged downstairs, almost sliding through a water puddle. That wasn't going to be pretty if I fell. God knows I wouldn't let the rant about it end.

We were still due to walk over to Abby's house in a while, I couldn't wait to see her. I could tell she was a lot happier in our presence, so I had to spend as much time with her as possible. I loved being with her, she made me feel like a normal person, not some international rockstar. She just understood me. I really do like Abby more than a friend, I just didn't want to tell her, I didn't want to mess up our friendship. With benefits attached? I still feel somewhat guilty about that.

I walked to the fridge in a daze as I chugged down a glass of orange juice. I always had to have this stuff in the mornings, it refreshed me. I grabbed a Pop tart from over the fridge but Shilo grabbed the box out of my hands. "Hey! I'm going to eat those!" I whined.

"Oh shut up!" She hissed. I swear this girl killed me sometimes. She tore off the silver packaging and put them on a weird looking plate in the microwave.

I immediately freaked out! "Shilo what the hell are you doing? Are those plates microwavable?" I didn't want to have to clean up a Pop tart explosion this morning, because we all know Shilo would sneak out of having to do it.

She rolled her eyes like she was already tired of my morning attitude. Well sorry for being a little over the top cheery in the mornings. I couldn't help it, that's just how I was. "Of course my plates are microwave safe!" She drawled out in a Scottish accent? Wow, my day started off wonderful. I couldn't stop laughing at her. She quietly took her food out of the room.

I sighed, I was a bit tense. Maybe it was because I was going to be late again? Who knew. I guess we'll just have to see how today is going to want to play out. I tied my boots as it was getting to be about that time to start walking to get Abby. I really needed a hug today, I felt oddly depressed. But of course I wasn't going to let the others figure it out, it just didn't feel like me though. Maybe this was the twin bond Abby felt between us?

What if I had felt what she is feeling right now?

It has to be a ridiculous thought right? I just sat there, not thinking anything as I waited for the others to get ready for school. Jake had already left, thank god. I don't think I can handle living in the same house as him. Last night when we got home he had talked about how cute Abby was to Georg! It sickens me that they are actually getting along. I mean if Georg had to go through school with him he'd drop him.

Speaking of Georg! He was going to be starting school with us within the next month or so. Is it bad I get kind of jealous because I know Georg likes Abby? I kept telling myself I had no feelings for her, but then why do I feel this way? Jealousy was not the answer, it always ended bad on everyone's part. I was in the biggest pile of denial known to mankind for sure. I just wasn't ready to face the truth yet I think.

"Ready?" Tom came up behind me. "I hope Abby don't mind being late, because seriously, if I were her I'd put us all in our place." He smiled.

I rolled my eyes. "And how do you expect her to do that? She doesn't talk." I didn't mean it in an offensive way, but he knows what I mean.

He brushed off that and changed the subject. "Are you okay lil bro? You seem a bit off this morning." There goes Tom, in his caring mood.

I sighed, I knew I wouldn't be able to hide my thoughts from my twin, he always knew. "I don't know, it's like I know I'm happy! Because have you met me? I'm one of the happiest people you've ever met!" He nodded in agreement. "But there is a tiny spot of depression nagging at me. Like its bottled up in the pit of my stomach? It makes me feel sick."

Tom gave me a brotherly hug. "I'm sure everything will be fine, maybe your nervous over something?"

"I'm not nervous, its like an anxiety feeling. I've never felt it before." I sighed. "I think I'll be better once I check on Abby, I think it may have something to do with her."

"Are you guys having problems sorting out your whole relationship thing?" He said.

I shook my head. "Definitely not. I just feel that maybe what I'm feeling is what Abby is feeling at the moment? Am I making sense?"

Tom chuckled. "You are baby bro, but why do you think you're feeling what she is?"

Ever with the poking questions. "Did you know she was a twin? I was thinking maybe that since I'm a twin too, we have a connection of some sort."

"Could be possible." He smirked, glancing down at his watch. "Oh shit! We have to get a move on, we've already missed first period! Mom is going to piss her pants when those notices come out in the mail."

I laughed at him. "You are such a wuss."

Shilo bounded around the corner. "I think you should just go get Abby, it might be a little quicker. Plus I don't want to be anymore late than now." She said before latching onto Tom's arm and pulling him out of the front door.

I rolled my eyes, she's different. I quickly followed suit, locking up the doors, I had to make sure Abby was all right. I trudged through their front yard, they were in need of a good lawn mowing for sure. I gave the front door a few good and heavy knocks, just to make sure they would hear me. I'm assuming Max is home since his car is parked in the driveway.

A few knocks later I heard the locks being undone and a very ruffled Max. He squinted from the very sunny day we were having today, it was pretty humid too. "What do you need?" He asked. I immediately smelled alcohol on his breath, I bet he was fighting off a hangover.

"Well it is Monday…" I trailed off hoping he would understand. "I'm here to walk Abby to school." I tried again, he was being stubborn, either that of he was really genuinely confused.

Panic washed over his face. "Oh damn! I totally forgot today was Monday, I didn't even check on her this morning." He moved aside so I could step in. "Good luck on waking her up if she's still asleep." He laughed and winced like he hurt his head. Serves him right for drinking on his daughters school night.

"You should get some sleep, it works magic for hangovers." I said politely to him, I didn't want to sound rude.

He sighed deeply. "Is it that noticeable that I'm hungover?"

I laughed. "Yeah, you squinted at the light, and your wincing. Anyways I'd better get a move on, we've already missed out on first period. You aren't mad are you?"

"Son I'm not mad, I'd rather her be late, as long as she's getting her education in. I know how it's been tough on her for the past years."

I nodded. "It was a pleasure talking to you." I called over my shoulder on my way to Abby's room. I knocked quietly on her door and waited for a while. No answer. My panic level was on high alert. I knocked louder and just waited.

Max yawned and walked past me to his room up the stairs. "Just walk on in." He whispered.

I took his word for it. I slowly turned the doorknob, her door squeaked ever so slightly. As much as I knew, didn't Abby sleep with her door slightly open? So then why was it closed today? Was she hiding something? Avoiding something? I mentally told myself to shut the hell up. I was worried enough as it was, I didn't need to be freaking out on the inside like that as well. I just needed to see her face.

And there she was. Well her back was facing me and she was staring out her bedroom window. She just looked so lonely. I let my gaze sweep over her form, she was dressed, so I was assuming she was going to school today. Why wouldn't she answer the door for me though? Was she listening to music? I couldn't really tell. I cleared my head, I had to think positive for her sake. She was sad, I could feel it radiating off of her. I didn't like the feel of it.

I quietly walked up and stood next to her, I glanced out the window. She was going to have to make the next move, I wanted to help her, but I couldn't if she wasn't willing to let me in her pretty little head. I heard sniffling coming from her and I swiftly turned my head to look down at her. She looked up at me with tear filled eyes, and that's when I broke. I scooped her in my arms in a hug. For some reason I was being extra gentle with her.

"What's wrong lovely?" I cooed gently, resting my head on top of hers. I didn't want her to push me out of her life.

She moved so I could see her face a little better. _It's nothing really. I felt like crying today._

I rolled my eyes at her. "Humor me." I needed to figure out what was wrong with her. "You can tell me anything you know that right?"

I heard her faintly sigh. She grabbed my hand and led me to her bed. I guess we were about to have a serious conversation. School kept creeping up at the back of my head, but I pushed it away. Abby mattered to me way more than dumb ole school did. We sat. I waited what felt like forever for her to speak her mind, but I could also wait forever for her too. She needed time.

She quickly wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her long sleeved shirt. Poor girl was going to have a heat stroke before today's over with. I should try to convince her to wear something else, she would be so much more comfortable I bet. Tears quickly filled her eyes again, and she did her best on clearing them, she inhaled sharply.

_It's a silly reason really… _She gave a faint smile, bunching her hands around the bottom of her sleeves and pushing back her hair. Abby was so gorgeous with or without makeup. Her scar was a minor flaw, but she was still beautiful.

"It cant be silly if it has made you cry like this lovely." I sighed, putting my hand under her chin making her look me clearly in the eyes. So much pain was held in her depths, it made me want to get to know as much as humanly possible about this girl. She needed someone in her life, and I could be that person.

One more sniffle. _It's my dad… _

"He didn't hurt you did he?" I was instantly outraged, I was just talking to him moments ago and everything seemed fine. He just didn't seem like the abusive type to me, could I have judged wrong?

_Not physically, but mentally yes._

"Lovely, can you please elaborate, I'm trying to help you out here." I didn't mean to get snappy but damn.

She rolled her eyes at my behavior. _Well he had a girl over last night, and they had sex in the room next to mine._

I mulled the information around in my head, why should she feel like this because of her dad doing another girl? Then I understood. "Is it because you miss your mother?" I had a caring tone to my voice.

_Well no… _I rose my eyebrows. _Well I _do _miss her! It's just that he's always with another woman. He's such a player and it pisses me off._

"Well he's probably only trying to find love?" I tossed in my two cents and she didn't like that one bit. Georg was right, when she was pissed she sort of looked like a kitten. If she wasn't mad with my words I might have laughed and squeezed her little cheeks.

She exhaled loudly and shakily, trying to blow of some steam so she wouldn't go off on me. _Coping. That's how he's coping with all the shit that's happened. He sleeps with women to take the pain away, just like I don't talk and… _She winced, wrapping her arms around her tiny frame.

That's when I _really _took in her appearance. She didn't look like herself, more of a distant version. She looked like if she had the chance she would disappear off of the face of the earth and no one would miss her. Wearing a long sleeved shirt under her Cinema Bizarre short sleeved shirt. This was a tip off, I hope she didn't physically harm herself over her dads mistakes. It was too hot out to be wearing long sleeves.

I wasn't going to call her out on it, but if I saw a single rip or tear on her forearms throughout the day I was going to say something to her. She needed help, and I couldn't ignore it if she did. What if she really did want to die? I don't think I could ever live with myself if she killed herself with the pain in her life. I blinked away the tears forming in my eyes and cleared my head. Positive thoughts Bill. Positive.

Giving her a huge but gentle hug I said. "Things can only get better right? Just keep looking forward, and try to move on with your life. The past is a past for the reason, am I right?" I was good at pep talks.

_I'm scared though, what if the past comes back?_

"If it does, you'll always have me to count on, you hear that? I'm your best friend, I'll always be here if you need anything." I smiled, ruffling her hair. She gave a small laugh. Oh how I wish I could hear the full effect of her melodic voice. I knew it had to sound like that of an angel.

She nodded. _We are _so _late for school Billa. _Did I fail to mention I want to hear the sound of her saying _Billa _roll off of her tongue? Well I really do. It sounds like a turn on word, I already got happy watching her mouth form it. I'm a lost cause.

"How about you say we skip school today?" I suggested. I was really liking the idea and I hoped she would follow along. We needed boning time! I don't ever want us to drift apart and I want to try and let her see she can count on me.

Her eyes sparkled. _What do you have in store for us?_

I backtracked. "I actually didn't think ahead this far. But maybe we can go out on the town and you can let me treat you to lunch?" I smiled down at her.

_Food does sound good right now. Okay. _She smiled, leaning up to my face for a kiss. I accepted it, I would never get tired of kissing Abby. The thing was I was just so scared to admit my feelings to myself and to others, I didn't want to ruin anything. It was scary how in sync our lips moved together. Like we were made for each other or something. I let all train of thoughts go when our kiss turned into a heavy make out session.

Abby kind of shocked me as she pushed me gently back on the bed and tried to straddle me. I didn't let her though because I didn't want her to notice how much that, I well wanted her. My bulge in my skinnies told it all. So we just laid on our sides clinging onto each other. I gently traced her bottom lip, wanting to take the kiss farther, and she took my tongue in her mouth. It scraped her cute crooked bottom teeth.

We were so into making out we didn't notice that her dad had casually leaned against the doorframe until he cleared his throat wanting our full attention. You could actually hear our mouths breaking apart, and it was pretty gross if you weren't us. Abby threw herself away from me as fast as she could and blushed a very red color. She was so cute when she was embarrassed. I just sat up straightly on the bed, not meeting Max's eyes. It was embarrassing all right.

He chuckled awkwardly. "I was just coming to check on you guys since I didn't hear the front door open up. When are you all planning to leave for school anyways?" He said looking down to his watch disapprovingly. I noticed that he was dressed in his work uniform. Sucks for him, having to go in on a hangover.

"Uhm.." I didn't know what to say, would he care that we skipped? Would he get mad when the school calls home saying Abby wasn't there? I was on the spot, and I don't think I've ever froze up like this before. It was terrifying.

Abby cleared her throat next to me and held out her dry erase board for her dad to read. _We are skipping today. _It simply said.

He smiled at her, brushing his shaggy hair from his eyes. "I don't mind, besides everyone needs a break from school every once in a while." I cant believe he was so easy going like that. Simone would have a cow! I should have him put in a word to her so I wouldn't get in trouble. "But, what's all this going on?" He said confusedly, motioning to both of us. I began to speak but he cut me off. "I mean its good that you're getting into the grooves to things again, but you should have told me you and Kaulitz was a thing." He told Abby disapprovingly.

_Were not. _She wrote back. _Best friends can make out cant they? _

"Sure they can honey." He said sarcastically. "Just remember, think carefully, and be safe when you decide to take the next step. Unless you two already…" He trailed off. I glanced a look at Abby who was shaking her head like crazy and making a huge X with both her arms. If that didn't say _Hell no we haven't done it. _I don't know what did.

"Uh, we definitely haven't done it." I said skittishly. He made me on edge with the flow of things in his house.

He smirked. "Gottcha. Just saying. Anyways, I want you guys to have a good day, I have to head down to work. If you all want to drop in for some free food, feel free." He smiled, waiting for a response.

Ah I had a wonderful idea. "Max, I have the best idea ever…" I started off.

He found me hilarious apparently, because he laughed at my expression. "And what is this 'best idea ever.'" He scratched his scruff.

"More of like a deal." He nodded for me to keep talking. "I know a way to get your Restaurant out there and more public."

"Keep talking." He said, sounding really interested. Abby laughed at the scene unfolding.

"Well since paparazzi follow me around, since I'm famous. Me and Abby can totally walk you your restaurant, and when they see where I eat, people will be obsessed. What do you think?" It might sound silly to him, but if people wanted to go far they would do the craziest things.

He thought it over for a second. "What's in it for you?" He asked.

"All you have to do is make sure I don't get in trouble with Simone because I didn't go to school today." Abby snorted next to me, obviously entertained.

"Deal. Be up there by 12ish to 1 alright?" He said, turning around and leaving, not giving me time to answer. Pretty soon there was a car door slam and it took off down the street.

I turned to Abby. "Your dad is pretty chill."

She shrugged looking far off again. _He has his moments I guess._

"Well come on! We should go out on the town before its time to take Max up on his offer. How about it? Miss Abby Baker?" I really wanted to hand out with her today. I craved her affection, I was starving for it.

_Sure thing. _She smiled big and hopped up from her place in the bed. Tugging on my hand and bringing me closes to her in a hug. Usually I was the one giving hugs, it was nice. _Thank you for being here for me Bill. _She said sweetly.

"You're welcome lovely." I gave her a sweet kiss before we left for the start of our day. It was going to be so fun, and god knows she needs fun.

**:3**

**Like? Hate? **

**-Lyrics :D**

**-Oh I, have a lot to say, was thinking, of my time away, I missed you and things weren't the same, cos everything inside, never comes out right, and when I see you cry it makes me want to die. I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm blue, I'm sorry bout all the things I said to you and I know, I cant take it back. [they might be a bit wrong cos I didn't look them up. But it's the general idea : ))]**

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	19. Nice Ass

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu**

The song was Sorry- Buckcherry

Alien

Chapter 19: Nice Ass

I needed to get over the fact that my dad is a player, I mean I loved him for who is and not the fact he sleeps with other women. Actually that killed me. If he would just settle down and be happy with a decent woman it'd be a different story. Just seeing him like that hurts me, and makes me feel so depressed. When he sleeps around he's only trying to feel the void that mom left when she died. He's a whore and I cut myself, such a terrible family.

I cant believe I cut like I did though, it was so deep and felt so good. Too many memories rushing back to my brain I guess. He used to hide the fact that he slept around, but then he just stopped caring and would basically have sex wherever. It got so bad that one time I walked in on them on the kitchen floor and he didn't even respond. Just kept going at it. I deserve a better father, I really did. But I would still love him no matter what.

I know he has feelings for Simone, but I don't know why he wont go after her. They would make such a wonderful couple, with her bubbly attitude and his, combined they would be adorable. I don't even know. I didn't want to think about last night, and my cutting, or my dad. I wanted to focus on the present, with Bill. We were on our way to a Boutique. I was _not _looking forward to it, because that meant I had to try on clothes. And I didn't want Bill to see my arms.

I was terrified.

Until then, we were walking hand in hand down the sidewalk of the main street into town. This was my first time actually taking in the gorgeous scenery of Germany, it's so pretty here. I was regretting long sleeves the instant I walked out my front door. It was so hot and humid here, but I mean what could I do? I wonder if Bill was thinking anything in his pretty little head about my appearance? I know I would.

"You'll love this little shop, I'm going to buy you anything you want." He stated sweetly. I really hated when people bought me stuff, it made me feel like a freeloader. I mean it's not like I couldn't afford it myself, my family was really wealthy as well.

_You really don't have to. _I said back, looking up into his beautiful flawless face. He was gorgeous even without makeup and his hair pulled back. This boy amazed me.

"Don't worry Abby, I don't mind, and I think it'll be fun to dress you up." He smirked. I definitely think he knew I went emo and destroyed my arms, he had to have. He was testing the waters, if I denied he'd know. If I accepted, he'd figure out. It was a lose, lose situation on my part.

_Do you like playing Abby Barbie or something? _I faintly sighed.

He placed a sideways kiss on my sweaty forehead. "Dressing you up is adorable, because you look cute in things you wouldn't normally wear. It's fun to see that."

I rolled my eyes. _Look. _I pointed to a mob of cameras walking across the street towards up. They didn't look like paparazzi, more like people from magazines, but in my head they were all the same.

"You don't mind if we talk to them for a while do you lovely? It's best to get it over with so that they wont pester us with anymore questions. They'll just follow us around quietly." He whispered quickly to me. I just shrugged. He did have a really good point there.

"Bill!" A chubby black haired girl yelled, pushing a recorder in his face. "May we have a word with you?" She pushed her hair out of the way, nudging her glasses up farther on her button nose.

"Sure." Bill said calmly.

"Can you tell me this, are you and this lovely person dating?" She seemed to thought it over again. "Will the hearts of thousands of girls across the world be crushed with this statement?"

Bill gave a slight smile. "We are not dating." He said simply, and for once it felt good not to be dating him, I don't think I could handle thousands hating on me at once. I shook it out of my head, of course I'd love to date him.

She pointed her pencil down to our linked hands. "Why are you guys holding hands, and may we have a name of this young lady?" Man, reporters were really pushy.

"This right here is my best friend. And you may not know a name." He looked down at me. "Unless you don't mind them knowing?"

_Mind as well tell them, nosey bastards. _I mouthed to him. He gave a laugh.

"Is she mute?" The woman asked, ah, they were rude too.

"Her name is Abby. And she isn't mute, just chooses not to talk." He was handling this situation better than I expected. Flashes were going off and reporters everywhere were jotting down notes from our conversations.

"We've seen pictures of you guys kissing at the Fair. Are you going to deny that?" She poked and prodded some more.

Bill rolled his eyes, I could see the patience running thin on his calm and collected face. He just wanted to have some fun today. "Best friends can kiss and hold hands right?"

"I suppose." She said. "Sounds more like friends with benefits if you ask me. How long have you known each other?"

"A few weeks." He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "But I trust her with everything I have."

"Sweet." She stated thickly. "Can you release a last name of Abby?"

Bill didn't ask me before he answered. "Definitely not. Now is that all?" He asked. Finally getting snappy with the pushy fake haired girl.

He didn't wait for her response as he harshly yanked on my hand pulling me back along the walk to the shop. To my surprise the paparazzi just crossed the street and followed us from a distance. When did they become so understanding about personal space? I didn't care, as long as we were left alone.

_They weren't that bad. _I said, looking up to him. I even got a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He pulled me closer and looped his arm around my waist. "They could have been worse, I'm surprised they're leaving us alone at a distance. I mean it's better than them attacking us I guess."

I smiled at him. _You're right. _

He smirked down at me. "You look like your going to die of a heat stroke, I'm going to buy you some airy clothes." He hinted. Oh that slick bastard.

_It's not even that hot out here. _I said smoothly.

"Oh bull shit! You're sweating." He pointed out bluntly.

_I can wear long sleeves if I very well please. _We were both too stubborn for this.

He sighed, I heard the giving up in his voice. "Please tell me you aren't hiding anything?" We were stopped in front of the lovely Boutique.

I shrugged opening the door and stepping through, welcoming the gush of nice air-conditioning hitting my form. It felt so nice to be inside, even though it was going to take me a while to cool fully down.

He stopped me, pulling my arm, and closer to him. We were sort of hugging, but not quite. Awkward. "Please don't lie lovely. I know you were in pain last night, I just don't like you cutting. It makes me feel useless."

I quirked both eyebrows. _Why should you feel useless? It's my mistake, not yours._

"That's where your wrong. Knowing that you've scarred yourself again, means I wasn't there to help you stop." He was being annoyingly caring.

It wasn't his fault. It was my own, I let my memories get the best of me. _It was _not _your fault, so please don't blame yourself._

He sighed. "I want to get help for you Abby."

_I've been through so many therapy sessions, they haven't done anything for me so far. Nothing. They all knew about my habits, and the accident. But I just sat there, unmoving and not talking. They did nothing. _Tears welled in my eyes. _I'm trying though, I promise you that._

He nodded hopefully. Bringing his thumbs up to wipe the tears that have fallen off of my cheeks. "Can I still buy you something airy though? It's hot and I don't want you to kill over."

I laughed. _You wont stare at my cuts will you Billa? I don't care if you do, I just don't like to be judged and all._

He smiled sadly at me. "I'll never judge you lovely, there's always a reason behind the scars. Does Max know?"

I gave a faint smile. _He knows. He always tells me he's going to help me get better and stuff, but he kind of always blows me off for his restaurant and other women. _I sighed sadly.

He gave me a sympathetic smile. "Lets have some fun alright? I want to make you smile and have a great time. You need happy in your life lovely."

I smiled. _Thank you Billa, it means so much to me, you have no idea._

XxX

"Try this on!" Bill yelled tossing ton of clothes over the changing stall all at once. I was standing there in my bra and thong. I know, bad girl.

I unlocked the door and poked my head out. _You cant tell me to try something on then toss a ton of crap over the door._

He rolled his eyes at my exasperated expression. "Just try on whatever you want first." I nodded before I turned around and locked the door behind me.

I decided on a pink light feeling fabric, I think this was a shirt anyways. I slid it over my head and it did look nice on me. I never thought pink would be my color, I had to approve it to Bill first, since he was the one buying it for me. I hastily opened the door and popped my head back out. He stood up and came closer to the door. I backed up so he could open it and examine my shirt.

His cheeks immediately turned a really rosy red color, I wonder what has him so worked up. It was just a shirt. Thinking he would like to see the back I slowly twirled around. _Well? _I asked, turning my head with my back still faced to him, his gaze was glued to my ass. Guys are perves. I was starting to get really impatient with him, he wasn't giving me a straight answer. I didn't know I looked that bad, damn.

I turned around quickly and crossed my arms over my chest, mentally wincing when my cuts came in contact with my other arm. Bill jumped back out of the stall slamming it on me. Wow, if that didn't drop my self esteem 100 notches I don't know what did. I was feeling so hurt, but that feeling changed quickly.

"Abby? Put on some pants." He called almost quietly, from his spot where I assume he had sat again.

I felt my face light on fire, I was so careless I didn't even remember my own pants. Bill had seen and stared at my ass, that wasn't good. That's embarrassing. I hurriedly looked through the pile of clothes laying before me for a pair of something to toss on quickly. I settled for a pair of short jean shorts. I'm glad I didn't cut my legs, because I really enjoyed wearing shorts too much.

I had to face Bill sooner or later, so I quickly tossed the door open and his head snapped to my figure. He was still blushing, and I was too probably. He stood up and walked closer, I backtracked into the stall, and he leaned on the door. "I really like that on you lovely."

I gave a full turn now, not worrying about my ass showing. Just thinking about it made a whole new round of blushing start. _Sorry about that little scene. I'm clearly not in my right mind now. _I felt the need to apologize.

He smirked. "No need to apologize Abbs." He walked towards me, kissing me on the cheek. "You have a very nice ass by the way." I hid my face in his chest. He attacked my lips with a heavy lingering kiss. We couldn't goof off for too long, we still had to meet my dad. "You don't seem like a thong type to me, more like boy shorts."

I rolled my eyes. _Are we really going to talk about the kind of panties I wear? _I raised my eyebrows.

"Certainly."

_Well I wear boy shorts too. _I said back with a sly smile.

He grinned. "I'm going to go ring up everything, you can just wear that to the restaurant if you'd like?" He asked. I rolled my eyes but nodded, he would buy me all these clothes. I felt guilty, but there wasn't saying no to him, he would always have his way. I helped him gather the clothes in our arms, and I tossed my old ones in my messenger bag I brought along. It felt good to not be wearing long sleeves, and I was going to thank him once we got outside.

I clipped the tags and handed them to the woman behind the cash register, her expression towards me actually held displeasure? Nice! I didn't even know the girl. She must have been a Bill fan. Speaking of him, he wrapped his arms around me from behind, bending a bit to lean his head on mine. Another reminder on my height. Definitely a Bill fan, her eyes narrowed on me. I raised my eyebrows at her and she just busied herself with ringing everything and bagging. I smirked.

I hated people like her, someone who disliked me before they even knew my story. We quickly exited the Boutique with satisfied smiled on our lips. _Thank you Bill, this means a lot to me. _I rephrased that. _Well not the you buying me things part, just hanging out with you. You make me so happy._

He smiled at me. "I'm glad to be of service my lady." He gave me a peck on the lips and there was the paparazzi/reporters or whatever you wanted to call them. I gave an angry sigh as I pushed a flashing camera out of my face. That was blinding. "Ready for food?" He questioned. This was a good time to get my dad's place on the famous list. Or whatever. Better known?

"Bill and Abby where are you going!" A guy reporter screamed in our direction. I guess news traveled fast that my name was Abby.

"Actually," Bill started off. "Were going to this new place called _A little bit of American. _It's the best restaurant in town that I know of." He stated proudly. Thank god it was nearby, I don't think I could handle another damn question from the paparazzi. Being famous must be torture.

The walk was hot and I was glad I changed. Bill even insisted on carrying all my bags, which was a lot. He probably had four in each hand. He did give in and buy himself a few shirts and some cute sunglasses. He wore them on his face at the moment. He didn't change, still wearing the plain black shirt and jeans.

It was tough walking through the glass doors of my dads pride and joy because there was so many flashes going off and people crowding around us. I already told Bill I didn't want them to know he was my dad, because I didn't want the reporters standing outside of my door everyday. They weren't allowed to be near our houses apparently. It was some law that if a picture of the boys were taken within or outside their houses or schools they person that took the photo would be fined. I know. Odd.

Bill pulled my chair out as we waited for the waiter to come and take our drink requests. I wanted a water, and Bill wanted a Coke. We started off with a salad. "Can I have a word with you?" A reported came to our table and didn't address Bill, he addressed me. I gulped and waited for him to carry on his question. "I followed a girls story a while back. Abby Baker. That wouldn't happen to be you would it?"

I was shocked for a moment, but I creased my brows and shook my head no. If he followed my story, it had to have been the death of my mom and twin. And my old life. I had to deny it. How am I supposed to move on if people keep bringing it back up?

"Aw too bad." He sighed. "You almost resemble her." I wanted to laugh, he said I almost resembled her. I was her. "Tragic really, what happened to her and her poor ole family. Did you know that her teacher…" He didn't get to finish before Bill cut him off. Forever thankful to that boy.

"Are you done here?" Bill snapped. "Clearly she isn't who you think, so take yourself somewhere else. Kay?"

The guy was at loss of words so he stumbled back and trudged angrily out of this place. I think he needs to move on like I'm trying to do. My past should haunt no one but myself. No one should have to hear the sordid tale of Abby Baker. And to my surprise Bill didn't question me, and he carried on with our happy day. I swear I was going to have a blast forgetting my past. The sooner the better.

Bill was special to me.

I loved Him.

**:3 **

**I know it's a bit short, but I hope you liked it. Next chapter will be a few months in to their lives :] I hate skipping into it like that, but it needs to be done :]**

**LYRICS :D**

**- Doctors and your promises. Psychics, healers, I've seen the best. Whatever they sell, sure know how to deal it. Gonna be okay, gonna be okay, one day, one day! ; )**

**REVIEW! Because I love to hear what you guys think. And they make my day, because I get them as soon as I check my phone when I get up :D you guys are the best. (: **


	20. On the muthafuckin Edge

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX **

**That Day- Tokio Hotel was the song (: Shaker10, TokioNutter and XxShelbyxKaulitzxX got the song :D**

Alien

Chapter 20: On the muthafuckin Edge :D

*Couple of months later :3*

Not much has happened in the past couple of months. Except me and Bill have gotten impeccably closer, and I loved that. No one has confessed their feelings to each other about the other. I still had my doubts about that boy liking me, but every time he would kiss me he melted those feelings away. The farthest we've ever gone in our make out sessions is when one of us ends up shirtless. I've just been in my thong before. We haven't had sex though. Came close a few times. But we both instinctively stop.

I think we both value each others friendship too much to have sex ruin it. As long as I got to stand by his side I was going to be okay. I grew stronger and stronger everyday. I haven't had a panic attack in weeks! I'm so proud of myself because of that. I still didn't talk, well because I still couldn't bring myself to yet. My past was still a weak spot, but I've only grown to put it behind me like it never really happened. And I cant do it. Because it did happen, and it felt wrong to forget my mom and Andy.

I was never going to come to terms with anything until Bryan is behind bars. I know it sounds horrible, but they never caught the bastard. After the accident he all of a sudden disappeared, like he vanished off of the face of the earth or something. I knew I was safe here, out of reach from him. But there was always that nagging in the back of my mind telling me that he was watching me. Always watching. But that was definitely my paranoia getting to me. I just couldn't let go that part in my life. When I talked I knew I was ready.

Georg had transferred into our tiny school a few weeks ago too, everything is going so smooth its scary. I knew Georg liked me, and he disapproved of my and Bill's odd relationship. He would always be super quiet when he was around me and Bill, the only time he engaged in conversation if the others were around or it was just me and him. I felt bad for the guy, because my heart belonged to Bill, even if Bill liked me or not. He was always going to have my heart. You cant help who you fall in love with.

Lately though, I've felt that Bill was being distant with me, and whenever I would ask him what was wrong he would shrug it off as nothing, or a headache. We hardly held hands in public anymore, he was always touchy behind closed doors. I was really hoping that the talk about us being together didn't finally get to him, because later on I was going to have a talk with him about his actions. I had to know what was wrong and why he was trying to push us a part a bit. Maybe he didn't want to be friends with benefits anymore?

I mean Prom was coming up pretty soon, and maybe he was going to ask me and he just didn't know what to say to me? I would love for me and Bill to go to prom, I've never been to one before. I've been to a homecoming and it just isn't the same as prom. What if that was what was up his sleeves? I mean he didn't have to distance us just to ask me? I don't even know anymore. I will be getting to the bottom of this later though. I had to figure him out.

You may ask if I still cut. Well I do, nothing too deep or harsh anymore, just enough to know I'm real and the life I'm living isn't a dream. Must sound silly to you all, but it's the truth. Sometimes I cant even believe I'm here in my position of being a good person, whose growing. It's hard to believe sometimes.

I was getting ready for school, I'm going to make it on time, something our group of friends never liked to do often. I've had ISAP over 12 times with my stay here, it's not that bad, because we do what we want. Beats school work and we get a full day credit for it. That school made no sense to me. But I loved it because all my friends go there, and I loved every single one of them. I felt sappy this morning id you couldn't tell?

I threw on a band tee and some skinny jeans, running the brush through my blonde hair. It has gotten pretty cold out here since the last scorching day. It was warm. My weather. I did my eyes and covered my scar. Things were looking in place and it felt like an overall good day. I hope my thoughts were correct and nothing sulky happened today. And that's when my whole demeanor changed with a text I received.

Bill: Can you walk to school without me this morning?

Well fuck my good mood. What in the world was he up to? See this is the shit I'm talking about, he's trying to push us apart or something. Now that I was pissed off and my good day was ruined by a silly text.

Me: Why?

It took him seconds to reply.

Bill: I don't want you to be late, and I just now got up.

Me: When has that ever stopped us from being late before?

I waited for a good five minutes and he still hasn't replied to me, so I just grabbed my school bag and took off out the door. Now I was royally pissed at him, if he wanted to talk he was going to have to find me in school. I piece of my heart broke when I realized he was probably going to avoid me as well. I tried not to think about it. I really did, but my mind kept reeling towards how much of a mess I'd be if I lost him. He was the one I shared everything with, well almost everything. I trusted him.

Maybe I was over thinking things?

I really wished I wore a jacket this morning, because the wind began to pick up, bringing in the chills along with it. I'm glad the school was warm and toasty because if it wasn't I think I'd might scream. I walked alone to music class, Shilo and Tom waved at me and I just gave a sad wave back, I wasn't in the mood. They gave me sympathetic smiles back. If I didn't know better they might have known what's going on between me and Bill right now. But nothing was wrong right?

I wasn't in the mood for whatever music class held in store for the class, and Bill didn't show up. We ended up watching _Annie. _I hated that movie, because we had to watch it so many times and decipher it in my middle school. Made me hate musicals too. I know its sad, because there is a lot of good ones out there, I just cant take the droning.

Bill was vacant during Art class, I mean not like I cared or anything because I never acknowledged him during art in the first place. I was always on edge, like something bad was going to happen again in here or something. I was currently barely passing this class with a low C. But I was scared to go anywhere near the Kiln because of what happened in my past. And this was a ceramics class, and I refused to do anything. The only reason my grade is up because of warm ups and I'll occasionally help Bill paint and glaze his work.

Slouching further down in my seat helped the back pain a bit, and it soothed the anxiety in my stomach. I felt like a bomb about to explode. I was waiting for Bill to walk through the doors at any moment, and I was waiting for him not to show up at all. I mean damn. I wonder why he was feeling so off about me. I don't think I've done anything to make him mad at me. We always laugh and have a good time whenever we were around each other. So why should be act this way towards me?

What if he realized he don't like me anymore? You know how he said he wasn't exactly sure? I bet that's it. He don't like me, not a crush, wasn't in love. I wonder if Bill goes into denial like I do? Or if that's too much to hope for. Things were going to be settled later tonight. He was going to have to face the facts and quit avoiding me. Its better to get things over with anyways then to keep hiding behind avoidance.

Lunch time was finally here and I walked arm in arm with Shilo, who was hand in hand with Tom. I scowled as Bill walked quietly behind us. As soon as we walked into the cafeteria people began whispering about 'My and Bill's tragic breakup!' That actually almost brought tears to my eyes too, because I didn't want us to ever grow apart from each other. I needed him, it may sound like I'm being selfish, but it's the truth. I'm not close with anyone like I am with Bill.

Bill slided in front of us in the lunch line and I wanted to grab his fucking ponytail and yank it a few harsh times. He grabbed an orange and a milk and I think he was set, he gave his number and stalked off. Food was looking less appetizing all of a sudden. I knew I had to eat something because if I didn't I would regret it. I grabbed an apple and the lunch lady shooed me out. Already knowing the mute girls number.

I looked for Bill and I found him sitting at our usual spot, his face staring blankly out the windows. He wasn't even going to greet me like he usually does. "Are you okay Kitten?" Georg asked, making me jump and nearly drop my yellow apple. He gave a chuckle. I shrugged, looking down. "Of course you aren't ok, want to skip out on lunch with me if you want to talk about it?"

I slightly nodded. I couldn't be here in the presence of all these people who might witness me cry. Having Bill ignore me for no fucking reason hurt really bad. I didn't want to lose my best friend. I followed Georg to a secluded hallway where we just sat in the middle of the floor leaning up against the lockers. I gave a content sigh. It felt so much better to just get away from that crowd, Georg was my savior.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me concerned. "You looked completely torn in the cafeteria."

I sniffled but looked at him. _Do you know what's going on with Bill? He's been pushing me away lately, but today he's full blown ignoring me. _I gave a silent sigh.

He looked off into the distance. "I really don't know what's wrong with that boy. He's been really down lately, and he wont tell anyone what's wrong. And you have no clue?"

_I don't know. But if he continues to act this way I'm going to have to have a talk with him tonight about it. If he's mad at me I don't know what I could have possibly done. _I felt clueless.

"You really like him don't you?" Georg stated sadly. I only nodded. "Then I'll do whatever it takes to get you guys together. I think you guys need to be in a relationship instead of this friends with benefits crap. It only tears you apart in the end." He stated strongly.

_I know… Thank you Georg for letting me talk to you when I needed someone. _I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster ride today. I gave Georg a giant hug and smiled when he hugged me back.

"You ever need anything just ask alright? I'll probably do it for you anyways." He gave a great smile as the bell rang. He pulled us both up. "I'll see you 5th ok?" I nodded and went to class with the uneaten apple in my hand. Did I mention we all five had last class together too? It was pretty fun.

XxX

I laid my head down all through 5th period, not only I was in a crappy mood I felt like shit. I had taken a fall in math class into a box of compasses and I was lucky they were the cheap kind and not the ones with the real needle point. I might have to had to go get a tetanus shot if they were the real ones. At least Bill was man enough to help me up and ask if I was alright, I only gave him a curt nod before he went and sat down. Silvia made me clean up the mess. And my wrist was killing me from where I fell on it. Not like anyone cared or anything.

My head throbbed and Georg was making loud ass tap noises on the desk in front of me, occasional knocking his chair full force on my desk. It was pretty annoying and finally I smacked him as hard as I could on his back with the back of my hand. He immediately stopped and I kept my head down. I had too much on my mind.

I felt a presence next to me and I opened my eyes to find Shilo's squatting figure next to me. She looked rather concerned. "Are you okay Abbs?" She whispered.

I raised up slowly and reached for my marker and board. _No, I've had a horrible day and now my head is killing me. :/_

"Awh, poor you." She said. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

I shrugged. I'd probably end up texting her to come over later anyways whenever I was done with Bill. For some reason I felt that something bad was going to happen. Not in the sense of _bad _but in the sense of me crying bad. _Nothing you can really do… _I wrote back. She seemed to sympathize. I think she knew something was up between me and Bill, hell the whole school knew.

"Text me later? Or just text me whenever and I'll be over in a flash since I'm right next door ok?" She said. She was an amazing friend, always looking out for me. I stopped my thoughts. Bill used to be like that and now this happened.

I gave a small nod, because I couldn't handle anything else. She hugged me once then got up from her place on the floor. "I love you ok?" She spoke softly.

_I love you too. _My lips formed. She seemed to understand that much, and gave me a great smile.

The day after school was very alone and scary. Well only scary because I was scared to text Bill to tell him to come over here. Dad was away at his job and I was stuck here, eating take out again. But of course I was way too wound up to eat anything, I only sat there hugging myself on the couch. I was the definition of a sad loner.

The thing that pushed me over the edge was when I went to the kitchen to grab something to drink when I heard everyone having a happy time over at Simone's house. I guess Bill could be happy, but still it gave him no right to treat me like that. And somehow hearing them over there laughing pissed me off. I grabbed my phone and composed a text. Hopefully he would have his phone on him.

Me: Can you come over?

I hesitated on the send button, but I knew it was the right thing to do because I had to get this over with. I needed to figure out why in the world he was ignoring me for.

Bill: Cant.

Are you serious? That was his only reply. There was definitely something going on in his head, because this wasn't normal Bill behavior.

Me: You need to come over now. We have to talk.

Bill: Fine, but I don't think you'll like what I have to say.

My stomach dropped as I placed my phone on the table, and waited for him to arrive. I was going to cry. I already knew. Anxiety was eating my stomach alive, and I couldn't soothe it away no matter how hard I tried. This wasn't good.

Four knocks at the front door signaled his arrival. Sooner than I thought would be possible, knowing how stubborn he's been to me lately. I opened the door and he must have taken in my hurt appearance because his face softened. "Oh Abby, I really am sorry." He scooped me up in his arms and closed the door behind him. "I'm sorry for hurting you because I know I have been doing so. I'm just so confused right now."

I stepped out from his warm embrace and quirked an eyebrow at him. _Why are you confused? You know I'll help you out no matter what._

"I'm just thinking about our upcoming tour and a bunch of school drama." He sighed sadly. Yeah the tour was supposed to be really big, I didn't want to think about it because it meant he was going to be leaving me. School drama? I'm in all his classes and I don't ever notice anything wrong with him? Maybe I need to pay more attention to my surroundings?

_I understand, you're under a lot of pressure. Do you need me to help you sort anything out with you? I really don't mind. _I said with a hopeful smile, anything to be close with him again. I needed to touch him, have him hold me. Anything.

He gave a loud and noisy sigh. "Might as well get this over with." He muttered, and I found myself on high alert. "About prom…" He trailed off. Butterflies fluttered happily in my stomach, he was going to take me! He was going to tell me he loved me? What? Abby no! I scolded myself. "What do you think about me taking…" He trailed off, uncertain if he should tell me or not.

I gave a great smile. So sure it was going to be me. _Who do you want to take? _I felt all giddy inside. I've never been asked to prom before, even though its weeks away.

He let out a deep breath he was holding. "Heather…"

**:3**

**Boom! Bam! Snap! Crackle! Pop! O_o Shit has hit the fan people! D: Don't worry, things will get better, next chapter tells it all (; Don't hate me for this cliffy alright? And sorry if it was boring, because it was a little blah? I updated early today :3**

**LYRICS :D**

**-If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn. Send me away on the words of a love song. Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother, she'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors…**

**REVIEW :D**


	21. I'll do it

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX **

**The song was If I Die Young- The band Perry. Shaker10 and malec 4 eva got it (:**

Alien

Chapter 21: I'll do it (:

I tried to wrap my brain around that statement, how could I have been so stupid to think Bill would want to take me? Heather? Really! This is the girl Tom has had really bad history with. I wondered if Tom even knew about this decision? He probably didn't even care because he had Shilo, which was a good thing. But Heather? Seriously! I was fuming, but I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to push myself farther away from Bill, but that might have to be the only option right now.

"I told you, you wouldn't like what I had to say…" He trailed off, miserable looking. Why should he of all people be looking down? Ass.

_Heather! _I exclaimed, waving my hands crazily. _Kaulitz I should smack you in your face right now. Out of all the girls you could have picked to go with you choose Heather? I mean really?_

"Lovely calm down…" I cut him off.

_Don't fucking call me lovely. And I _am _calm. _I was seething, barely breathing even. I was beyond pissed off, how could I even expect to be calm?

"You aren't calm. Look, please don't be mad. I just really want to give Heather a chance, she's practically all over me."

I rolled my eyes. _I'm not mad ok? I'm fucking furious. I actually thought you would take me to prom. _It slipped out before I could catch it. But I mean it's the truth!

His face fell and he blushed. "I don't like you like that…" It was a failed attempt, I knew he was lying because of that tone of his voice. He did like me. Why in the hell does he want to date Heather for? To piss me off? Make me jealous? Well it was fucking working.

I tried though, I couldn't lose him. _I know you like me Bill… _I tried, but I don't think I was going to be winning this fight anytime soon. I wasn't even in denial with my thoughts towards Bill. _You need to get your head out of your ass, and get out of denial! _

He was gaping at me. "I'm not in denial ok? I just like Heather more that I could ever like you!" He screamed in my face.

It was like getting hit with a block of cement, I felt tears prickle in my eyes. It really hurt to be talked to like that, from your best friend nonetheless. _If that's how you really feel. _I stated emotionlessly. _Get out of my house. _I walked towards the door and opened it.

He stood frozen at his spot on the carpeted floor. He looked heartbroken and like if he could he'd take everything back he just said to me. We were both caught up in the fight. "But Abby let me…"

I cut him off, I don't think I've ever been this mad before at a friend. "Get out!" I yelled, not caring that he gave me a look of shock and hurt. My throat hurt from not talking in so damn long. But my patience was wearing thin, and he was pissing me off.

He scurried past me, not looking back as he made his way across to his house. That broke me down, the way he didn't look back once. Didn't he realize he just hurt me? I think this is the worst pain I have ever felt in a long time. I wasn't numb anymore, I was feeling sadness. Anger. Pain. I was so frustrated at myself, I mean wasn't I good enough for Bill? I slammed the door as loud as I could, rattling the front window in the process. I slid down to the carpet, bringing my knees up to my chest.

I sat like that for a very long time, not thinking, just trying to steady my breathing. If I thought about all this crap, then I would have a panic attack do doubt. I needed someone to ask for advice. I needed my Shilo. She may not be the one to go to for these things, because she could get a bit violent. But I loved her, and I trusted her in this situation to help me do what's right.

I shakily pulled out my cell phone, I could barely see the screen because my eyes were so blurry. It took me a while to compose a text, and even longer to find Shilo's name on my contact list. It hurt scrolling past Bill's name for some reason. Any reminder of him hurt me right now.

Me: I need you…

It sounded cliché or whatever, that's just all I could say right now, I did need her. I needed a friend. It took her a while to text back, so in the meantime I decided to get up and splash some cold water on my face and clear up my eye redness. This couldn't be happening to me. I couldn't lose another person in my life, it just cant happen. I had to face the facts, it was happening and being friends with someone like Bill was too good to be true. Why should he want me anyhow? I'm just a nobody with a broken past.

My phone vibrating in my hand broke me out of my reverie. I glanced down at it and if I wasn't in such pain I might have laughed at what Shilo texted me.

Shilo: What the fuck did he do? Do I need to smash his non existent balls for you?

I sniffled, she knew me too well sometimes. I was thankful for that. It just means that I didn't have to keep explaining myself, something I absolutely hated doing. But you guys already knew that.

Me: Can you come over? I really need someone right now…

Shilo: I'll be over quick. (:

Me: :']

I took the opportunity to check myself in the mirror, and it really was a lost cause. My hair was a mess and my eyes looked devoid of any emotion whatsoever, still gleaming with tears. They were puffy and red, but it could have been worse. I slid my phone in my back pocket and paced in my bathroom for Shilo to arrive. I was nervous, I hope she wouldn't get mad at me for dragging her out to my house at this hour. It was almost 1am. And I know I'd hate it if someone made me.

I was almost on the verge of tearing my hair out with all this anxiety. I felt like my body was being torn apart and my heart was gone. Was it normal for me to be feeling like this over a boy? I corrected myself. It was perfectly normal, because I know that 'this boy' was my true love. I was never more sure than that. We were meant to be and he was too stubborn and dumb to actually admit it. And I resented him for that.

A knocking on my front door jogged me back to the present. Thank god Shilo was here! I guess I'd better get ready to shed more tears. I slowly and calmly made my way to the door and pulled it open a bit hard because it was stuck. Probably from when I slammed it with all my might earlier. When her eyes rested on mine they held so much love and concern. She shrugged out of one of Tom's jackets and walked past me. Tossing it on the couch.

She pulled my in a gigantic hug and I let the tears come. I sobbed hard and all she could do was shush me and pat me on the back making sure I was going to be ok. I backed away from her and wiped my eyes on the inside of my shirt collar. I didn't have tissues so that was going to have to do for the moment. She waited calmly for my to finally calm down enough to try and tell her what happened, thank god she decided to talk first, because I don't know what I would have wrote first.

She handed me a notepad she brought with her, so I could write down my responses. "What in the hell happened? You are scaring the shit out of me!"

I shook the jitters out of my hand so my writing would be somewhat readable. _Bill came over to talk to me about PROM! _

Shilo put her hair behind her ears, she looked confused. "I don't understand honey, shouldn't you be happy? Instead of being emotionally wreaked?" She paused then added. "No offense."

_He told me he's taking HEATHER not me… :'/_

"Heather? As in Horny Heather? The slut that Tom used to date?" Her voice was laced in venom. I gave a curt nod and looked down to the carpet. "That little fucker!" She exclaimed, she sounded so pissed off, so I just let her rant her heart out. And the sad part is that I agreed to everything she said. "What a deluded fucking asshole! Why the fuck would he take that good for nothing hooker? I swear to god I'm going to rearrange his pretty little face!" She was really serious. "I have to help you win him back. The stubborn asshole."

I sighed deeply before writing. _It's a lost cause, he don't like me. I'm going to have to get over it… _

She frowned. "Abby!" She exclaimed. "You guys are always all over each other, have you seen the way he looks at you? He loves you."

I blushed. _It sure don't feel like it. If he loves me so damn much then why is he taking Heather to prom?_

"I think he's in denial. He's scared to hurt you. And then there's the big tour coming up, he may not want to get serious and then have to leave you on the drop of a hat." She said sadly. She was making some sense. She kept going over with me, how he's too scared to ruin what we might possibly have. "We have to do something ok? He loves you, but he's being a dickhead about it."

_What are we going to do? _I finally wrote down, after thinking over it thoroughly, it did seem like the only option I had. I just didn't know how I was going to win him. I had to make him realize I love him and vise versa.

"You have to tell him you love him." Shilo stated blankly. I shook my head, I couldn't do that yet, I mean what if he flat out ignores me? I couldn't take the humiliation. She gave a deep sigh. "Seems like you both are pretty stubborn, I mean at least you admit it to yourself."

_Any other ideas._

She smiled evilly. "I have a few tricks up my sleeve. We go to plan two. Make that fucker jealous."

_But why would he be jealous of me? He don't like me remember?_

She gave a sad sigh. "Just work with me here okay? He loves you, and there is _no_ denying it. We just got to get him jealous first. Make him want you. Well you understand right?" She tried and I just nodded. "Ok, we need to find you someone to date!"

I blushed. _I doubt anyone would have the patience to be with me._

Another sigh. "Just think of the bright side of things for once alright? Plus I know the perfect person you could fake date."

I quirked an eyebrow at her. _And who might that be?_

She laughed, scaring me a bit. I had no clue who she could possibly be talking about, unless… "Georg." She stated, gauging my reaction.

I sat there for a bit, I mean it did sound good to me, and he had said he'd do anything for me. But the thing was, he really liked me and I didn't want to hurt him. _I really don't know Shilo. Georg _really _likes me, and I don't want to use him and hurt him. It isn't right at all._

"Do you want Bill or not?" I could tell she was losing her patience with me, but still.

_I do but, I don't think I can do this to Georg. _I really couldn't.

She stood with her hands on her hips and flipped out her phone from her back pocket. "I'm calling him to see if he'd come over for a little while." I sighed giving up, I knew it wasn't going to be any use. I situated myself into the couch and got more comfortable, it was going to be a long night and no sleeping was going to happen anytime soon. I was exhausted.

She tapped her foot wildly when he didn't pick up on the 3rd time she tried to call him, I mean I don't blame him. Lucky Bastard is probably asleep. "Georg?" She asked. He must have picked up the phone. My stomach dropped as I listened to Shilo's side of the conversation. "I don't give a fuck what time it is." Silence. "Ok I'm sorry for cussing at you." Silence and a sigh. "I need you to get over here." Silence. "What do you mean where? You retard I'm at Abby's you know that!" Silence. "Fine, I'm sorry for calling you a retard. Now are you coming or not?"

I was freaking out, I didn't want to ask Georg, Shilo had to. All her idea. No matter how genius it sounded. "Yes you can get dressed first." Silence. "I don't care if you have to go to the bathroom first, just hurry up alright?" Silence. "Ok bye."

_What'd he say? _I wrote, ready for her to read when she turned around.

"Georg basically said he had to get ready before he came over. And I hope his lazy ass don't go back to sleep, because he is very known for that." She laughed, which got me to laugh too. "See? All we have to do is lighten the mood a bit. Feeling any better?"

I shrugged. _I suppose, knowing there is a chance for me and Bill. I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose him. I really do love him with everything I have._

She smiled sadly and scooped me into a warm embrace. "Don't worry Abbs, I guarantee you that you will _not _lose Bill. He just needs a lot to sort out, he's such a little bitch." She sighed. I laughed. "Can I ask you something personal?" I carefully gazed up into her eyes and shrugged. I was a bit on edge. "Have you and Bill you know _don't it?_"

I blushed and looked away. I shook my head though. _We almost have, but we always stopped. _I wrote down.

She gave a sad nod. "I just hope this plan works. I hate to see you both so hurt and confused." I nodded and she glanced down at her phone. "Hello?" She answered. "Ok, we'll be waiting with the door open." She closed her phone and opened the front door and made sure everything was unlocked. "Georg is walking now, he should be here any second."

"Boo!" He exclaimed fron the side of the door, making Shilo drop her phone and shriek. Georg was in giggles, but now I wasn't in the mood for laughing, I needed to be all around serious.

"Georg you jerk." She huffed. "If we didn't need something from you I'd cuss you out."

"I know." He gave a small smirk. "Anyways what do you…" He trailed off taking in my shrunken appearance. "What's going on? You aren't pregnant are you? Oh god." He started freaking out, making crazy hand gestures.

"Dude calm down she didn't get knocked up." Shilo tried to calm him down.

"But it does have something to do with Bill doesn't it?" He questioned, looking down at me. He plopped heavily down next to me, making my body jump a bit from the force.

I nodded sadly. _He came over to talk to me about prom…_

He cut me off before I could finish mouthing the words to him. "Shouldn't you be happy then?" I harshly gave his arm a good smack. "Sorry I'll shut up, jeez."

_He's taking HEATHER! _I exclaimed, with my hands flying everywhere.

His face held genuine shock. "You mean hooker Heather? Heather the whore? Horny Heather?"

_The one and only. _My eyes were filling with tears again, it was like re opening a wound that was sewn shut for years. Even though it's only been a couple of hours since my and Bill's huge fight.

"Oh Kitten." He said sadly, slinging both his arms around me, comforting me. I couldn't let the tears fall though, it felt nearly impossible. "I'm here for you. What did you guys need?"

_Shilo's idea. _I stated.

His head popped up to Shilo then. "Oh god, I don't like the idea of this."

She smirked. "Since Bill the asshole is dating Heather I want you and Abby to pretend to date to get Bill jealous."

"I don't know what to feel about that, because Bill is one of my closest friends and I don't want to hurt him." He said sadly back. He felt torn between me and Bill.

She sighed. "Please Georg? Bill is totally blind, we all know he loves Abby, but he's too stubborn to realize it. If you date Abby, then maybe he'll get jealous and finally realize it. Please?" She tried, her voice sounding tired.

"What do you say about it Kitten?" He said down to me, pulling me closer to comfort me.

I gave a silent sigh. _I really don't want to use you Georg. I don't want to hurt you. _

He pushed his hair out of his eyes. "I'll do it." He smirked at my shocked expression. "Anything to help my two friends in need." He grabbed both my hands in his. "Abby? Will you be my pretend girlfriend?"

I did something I knew I would regret later.

I nodded…

The tears spilled over.

**:3**

**Don't hate me :/ the story has to go to this direction for everything to get back to normal (; And don't forget, this is why there is going to be a sequel :3 You guys are amazing.**

**LYRICS :D**

**- Back in the days when we were young, When everything was like a loaded gun, Ready to go off at any minute, And you know we're gonna win again. Maybe I'm the one, maybe I'm the one, Who is the schizophrenic psycho, yeah! Maybe I'm the one, maybe I'm the one. Who is the paranoid psycho!**


	22. I could have strangled him

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX **

**The song was Psycho- Puddle of Mudd. Sakura Kiryuu got it :D**

Alien

Chapter 22: I could have strangled him.

Today was going to be my official day pretending to date Georg. I was terrified because I didn't want Bill to be mad at me, I know it sounds weird. But I was absolutely pissed at him, so should it even matter? I knew Shilo chewed him out last night when she got home, he deserved it too. Either way I have to act right and play the part, if I played it good enough I would win Bill. Part of my thinks this is silly, but I get what Shilo is saying, he's too stubborn to admit he loves me. I even knew he did.

We had to be serious about this whole fake relationship thing, so we had to seal the deal with a kiss. I've never thought about kissing Georg before, it was definitely going to be awkward for me. But I would do anything for Bill. Even if it may be hurting him in the process, but I mean he brought it all on himself. If only he'd open up his eyes, he was a girl willing to go to the ends of the earth for him. Me. I didn't want to think about it, I didn't need to cry before school. People notice that crap.

I hopped out of the shower quickly, but not quick enough to misplace my step and crack my head on the wall. Not like I've ever done that before or anything. I didn't bother blow drying my hair either, I just didn't have it in me to be all prim and proper today. No makeup, hair is still wet, I threw on anything. I didn't give a shit today. I kind of felt broken and like my heart was in my throat, but that's besides the point. Actually it hit me hard.

I didn't feel like people this morning, don't even my 'boyfriends' company. I just tossed on my messenger bag and headed off to school. By the time I was halfway there I realized I forgot my white board. Oh well. I guess that meant I wasn't going to be communicating with anyone either, I had no problem with that. I felt like I was going to snap at someone. I felt on edge and just flat out confused. I hated feeling this. Loss. I could name off some things, but I'm sure you have the general idea.

Fucking Heather. I think I actually hated her for what she's doing to Bill. I really hope he didn't have any emotions for her, otherwise this could get ugly. And I don't mean Heather with no makeup ugly. What am I saying she's butt ugly no matter what. I wouldn't go as far to wish her dead, because that's horrible. But I was getting pretty damn close. I'd try to keep my temper down about her though, I don't want her to get the satisfaction of knowing I want Bill but he chose her instead. She'd rub it in my face so hard. I might have to punch a bitch.

My phone vibrating against my leg pulled me out of my nasty thoughts, I was actually glad. I didn't want to have a dark cloud of hate hanging over my hear the whole day. I rolled my eyes when I saw that it was Georg.

Georg: Why you no wait up?

Me: Didn't feel like it.

Georg: You're my girl, I have to walk you to school :/

Me: I'm just getting there, and I'm not really your girl :P

Georg: We have to at least pretend, so next time wait for me kay?

Me: Kk

Georg: Meet me in the school kay?

Me: Where?

Georg: By the brick pillar in the lobby

I didn't reply because I was really fed up with Georg for some reason, and my signal dropped down to a red bar. I dropped my bag next to my feet and leaned against the wall. God knows their slow walkers so I might as well get comfortable in the process. I tried taking deep breaths because I was going to need as much of my sanity as I could muster today. I was going to try to not let anything that I might see get to me too much. I knew it was a lost cause, but I needed to make sure.

I saw school bus after bus pull up and drive away, dropping off students. Heather walked gossiping with all her cheer buddies. She wore her hair up in a tight ponytail, honestly no one should wear one that high up on their head. What did Bill even see in her? Oh yeah, nothing. Her cheer uniform looked too small, and the skirt was ridiculous. I bet the only reason she got away with it because she was on the squad. Along with the other cheer clones.

I rolled my eyes as they all casually walked past me, getting dead quiet. As soon as they rounded the corner away from me they busted out in a fit of giggles. If I talked I would have yelled something back, no doubt there. When they walked by, I smelled so much perfume it was like a prostitute walked in. But it wasn't. What am I saying? Close enough. Dumb ass preppy cheerleaders that went to my school. They were all nice at my old school, so who knows?

I kept glancing down at my phone worriedly. I wanted to get this day on and over with. Georg needed to hurry up so we can hold hands and cuddle and all that cute relationship crap in front of Bill. I wanted to see his face when we kissed, I wanted him to be hurt. I wanted him to feel what he's caused me by dating that too much perfume wearing whore. Harsh? Yeah, I didn't thing so.

I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. It startled me a bit because I was still staring down the hall the hookers walked down. I put on a happy face and turned around in Georg's arms. I had to fake this, and make it good. "Hey Kitten." He said sweetly, giving me a shy peck on the cheek. Gauging my reaction, making sure I was okay with it. Well I wasn't, but I had to be.

I saw the fluff of Bill's hair behind Georg, I didn't get to see his reaction. He kind of stood there and pushed Georg out of the way so he could stand in front of me with his hands on his hips. "Have you seen Heather?" He asked me all innocent. You have to be kidding me?

I crossed my arms and gave him a cold stare. I was refusing to talk to him at the moment. He of all people should know. Georg stood there with a disbelieving look on his face towards Bill. Neither of us could believe he would so bluntly ask me about Heather, knowing how I felt about him. How could he?

"Ah, giving me the cold shoulder huh?" He said sadly. "About last night, I really am sorry lovely…" My eyes narrowed at the nickname that pissed me off more than ever. "Can you forgive me? I really don't want to lose my best friend over a girl. Please?" He pleaded.

_Just fuck off. _I stated. I had to get rid of him, I couldn't bear to look at him without my heart feeling like it was going to rip out.

He gave a sad sigh. "I'm sorry ok?"

_No you're not._

"Oh you're right I'm not. That's why I'm standing here trying to apologize." He said exasperatedly.

"Oh Bill!" Heathers nasty nasally voice called from across the hallway. He even looked kind of frightened. But it didn't matter, because he had sealed his fate by asking her to prom and ignoring me.

_Better go. Don't want your whore to get angry. _I said, grabbing a hold of Georg's sweaty hand and marching off down the slightly dark corridor to our first period. I heard Bill's heavy sigh as we walked away. We headed off towards his locker.

"Don't let him get to you okay Kitten?" He said as soon as he had his combination in. Fail. His locker didn't open up.

_I cant help it. He is just so… Well you know. Did you see him ask me about Heather? I could have strangled him._ I really could have, I'm not trying to exaggerate things.

Georg gave a short laugh then turned to me. "Hurry here they come!" He whispered quickly to me. I glanced down the halls and sure enough he and Heather were holding hands, walking directly towards us. "We should kiss." He stated like a little kid about to be caught doing something.

_I guess. _I stated very sulkily. Georg moved in fast and didn't place a simple peck on my lips, he went in for a full out kiss. Our lips moved in sync, but it didn't feel right. It felt really gross, because I thought of Georg like a brother type or something. Someone messily crashing into the lockers next to us broke us apart. It was Bill. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You and Georg seriously?" He accused. He sounded beyond pissed. Georg was going to talk but Bill cut him off. "I don't even want to hear it from you." He looked back to me.

_I don't need permission from you on who I can date and who I cant. _I crossed my arms around my chest. I wish he would just leave me alone. At least getting him jealous was starting to work.

"But Georg is one of my best friends, I would think you would date someone else. Hell you could have dated Jake for all I cared. But you picked Georg?" He was whispering so no one would overhear.

"Uhm, I'm going to drop my books off to leave you guys alone for a bit." Georg stated awkwardly. Bill just gave him a glare, and I just nodded.

_I could say the same thing. You could have picked any damn girl in this damn school and you pick Heather. You know how much I don't like her. _

He scoffed. "I don't even think it matters anymore." He stood there sulking for a moment. "I still want to be your friend Abby." He tried.

_That's not going to cut it. Because everyone knows we like each other, you just cant realize it._

"I don't like you like that…" He trailed off awkwardly.

_Of course you do. If you didn't like me then if wouldn't bother you that I'm dating Georg. Jealous much?_

He was at a loss of words there, he hesitated and didn't know what to say. I stood there waiting patiently, waiting for him to confess some feelings he had towards me. Why. Wont. He. Fucking. Accept. It. Already? "I'm still taking her to prom."

_You know what? _I started off calm, because I was about to lose it. _Don't even fucking talk to me anymore. You are a stubborn asshole and I hate you._

He sucked in a breath. "You don't mean that lovely." I saw tears in his eyes.

_What did I tell you about calling me that? Not when I'm pissed at you. _I wasn't too far behind, I felt tears well in my eyes too.

The warning bell sounded. "We should get to class, we might be late."

_Go ahead. I'm _not _walking with you. _I said grimly. And when he didn't walk off first, I decided to just push past him. Georg was still carrying my book bag so I didn't have it with me. But I could care less right now. I walked to my first period empty handed and received a glare from my music teacher. I shrugged it off.

Being mad at your best friend hurt.

XxX

"Are you sure you aren't hungry?" Georg asked from our seat in the cafeteria. And I meant it, I was sitting in his lap and we only used one chair. We were sitting off to the side of the lunchroom, the more quieter part. It didn't stop the stares though. The whispers were pretty great this time around though.

_I'm not hungry, but if you are go ahead. I don't mind waiting here. _I said, snuggling into his chest when Bill threw an angry glare over at our table.

"I ate a huge breakfast, so I'm good." He sighed. "You're lucky I love you Kitten. I could ruin my and Bill's friendship over this."

_You're the one who agreed to it remember? _I tossed back at him.

He gave a laugh. "I know, and I think it'll pay off."

_You think so?_

"I know so. That boy is so pissed off at me it isn't funny. He refuses to talk to me in the halls, and he wont reply to my texts." He rolled his eyes. "He's bringing it on all himself though. I just wish he'd cut the crap and confess what he feels about you."

_Can we not talk about this please? I literally think I may cry later, or soon actually. _I was all of a sudden cold. Georg realized this and tried to offer me his jacket but I refused.

He sighed. "Play the part alright? Take my jacket. That's what people in relationships do ok?" I rolled my eyes and slipped it on. It wasn't too big on me, but it did the job, I wasn't as cold anymore, thank god. "Here, I'll even change the subject. What are your plans for tonight?"

I gave a heavy sigh and knocked my head on his chest. _Dad is inviting Simone and the twins over tonight, its going to be so awkward. Shilo has to go take care of things with her mom, so her or Jake wont be there._

"That does sound pretty awkward. Want me to come too?" He asked sincerely. But I had to deny, because I didn't want my dad to know about everything that's going on. He could be a nosey fuck at times. "Does your dad like Simone?"

I gave a small smile. _Honestly, I think they've been secretly dating. But don't quote me or anything on it. Aren't they the cutest together?_

"Took the words right out of my mouth." He stated.

Things went smoothly throughout the day, and I'm glad. I didn't have anymore face to face conversations with Bill. And he didn't once try to talk to me again, and I was glad about that too. I was on edge the whole day and I felt like curling up in a ball somewhere and crying. But Georg wouldn't allow it. He kept comforting me and telling me I could let loose after school. I also didn't want Bill to know he was getting to me that bad.

Fifth period was intense. Shilo or Tom weren't there because they were off spending time together before she had to leave for the institution to talk to her mom. It was just me, Bill and Georg. And for once I did my work, quietly and diligently. It was the only distraction I had from the world around me at this point. I had to make it last because I was close to losing it.

Bill stormed out of last class of the day and Georg walked me home, hand in hand. Things were getting better, I haven't seen Heather and Bill kiss, which was good. And if I were him I'd be careful, she's smooched on the whole basketball and football team, who knows what diseases she might have. Is that bad of me to think that? Definitely not.

Georg walked me to my porch steps and gave me a small peck on the lips. A fuming Bill slammed the front door shut. _I hope he doesn't kill you. _I giggled.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah I hope he don't either. Good luck tonight alright?" He said sweetly. And I felt guilty for bringing him into this whole mess. I nodded as he stalked off towards the twins house, where he was staying until his parents could find a decent house close enough for him to go to the school.

I was of course depressed as soon as I was alone. My dad was home and that didn't really help, I had to put on a smile so he wouldn't ask any unnecessary questions. "Someone looks a little down." Damn. He always saw through me. I just shrugged. "Simone said you and Bill are in a little argument, that true?" I nodded. "Want to talk about it?" I shook my head. Definitely not. "Well go get changed, I want you to help me cook dinner at my restaurant tonight."

_What do you mean? _I asked. I was really confused. Weren't we supposed to eat in or something?

He chuckled and clapped a hand on my back. "I just thought it'd be sweet if me and you cooked for the Kaulitz family tonight. What do you say?" Like he even cares, I'd do it because it makes him happy. I nodded. "Go wash up and wear something white ok?" White was the official chef color. Whatever.

I sighed and shut my door and locked it. I had a huge migraine coming along. I busied myself with my hair, because I knew I was going to have to tie it up anyways. I put it in a low burn and went to work on my makeup, I had to cover my scar even more. I hated the fact people could see it with my hair out of my face. I just didn't really care at the moment. To prove my point I wiped all my makeup off except for the eye makeup. The scar shone in the bathroom light. Very noticeable. I sighed. I didn't care.

One step forward…

**:3**

**What did you guys think? Boring? D': lol.**

**LYRICS :D**

**-There's a little creepy house in a little creepy place, Little creepy town in a little creepy world, Little creepy girl with her little creepy face, Saying funny things that you have never heard. : )**

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	23. Suprise! Sort of?

**-I apologize for the mistakes I've made grammar wise within my story. I'm not perfect. :]**

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX **

**The song was Walking on Air- Kerli. Shaker10. Lpwriter4life. And Sakura Kiryuu got it : ) Kerli is my new obsession :3**

Alien

Chapter 23: Surprise? Sort of

I was buttoning up my white shirt for tonight. I was wearing that and black slacks, that seems presentable enough to me. I mean I was just going to be cooking anyways, and being proper never phased me during eating or cooking. You were bound to spill something on yourself either way right? Well I wasn't going to cook that much, I was in charge of the macaroni and cheese. Seemed simple. But I had history with macaroni. I could never cool it right to save my life.

I gave a weak smile in the mirror, I wasn't pleased with my appearance, but it was going to have to do. I haven't wore my hair up in years, it made me feel naked like I was bearing my secrets to the cold world. I was scared and excited at the same time. Bill would always tell me I should wear my hair up because I was super pretty. Well here I am, with my hair up. And he's with that whore. Everything was fine until Bill questioned everything and here we are. Like we never even met.

"Abby!" My dad yelled from the living room. I didn't move from my spot, I waited for him to call me again. Because honestly I was stalling. Things were going to be awkward. "It's time to leave! The Kaulitz's are on their way over. We have to get our seating arrangements down ok?"

I sighed and left my room, of course we were going to have to all ride together. It's just my luck I was going to be stuck in between both twins, meaning I would have to set next to Bill. I didn't want to touch that boy, let alone sit in the same car with him. I walked into the living room and I was alone, which meant they were all getting ready. I sighed and tossed on a little jacket and snuggled into its warmth, I was going to need all the support I could get tonight. I hope I didn't break down.

I was mentally exhausted. I didn't need any of this stress, but I had to deal with it because it wasn't going anywhere any time soon. I threw open the front door, and it went gliding into the bushes getting stuck. Stupid wind. "Come on Abby!" My dad yelled from the front seat. Bill was leaning on the car, waiting patiently for me to get in so he could sit. I gave a frustrated sigh, the door was caught in the bushes and it took me a while to finally get it free. I turned back around and everyone had an amused expression. Good for them.

I tried walking quickly to the car, but I tripped over my own two feet, barley catching myself on the car. To my dismay, everyone laughed; but Bill. I was probably clumsy from being so tired. "Hey Abby!" Simone chimed happily as I climbed my way into the car, scooting myself as close to Tom as possible. He noticed too and tried to scoot over for me. Sweet of him. I acknowledged her with a nod. She turned her attention back to my dad. "Have you told her yet?" She whispered.

This had my attention, and everyone else's in the car as well. We were definitely a nosey lot of people. "No I haven't, I was kind of shooting for it to be a surprise, but since you brought it up I might as well tell her."

I leaned forward, placing both elbows on each seat and resting my chin on my crossed hands. I was waiting for whatever surprise they were talking about. Haven't had a decent present in a long time. My dad chuckled at my expression. "You might like something that's waiting for you at my restaurant!" I quirked my eyebrows at Simone, because he wasn't giving anything else away.

She smirked. "You'll have to wait dear. But I think you'll like.. Er… it." She composed her face. Ah, that gave me interest, who knew what it was now.

Tom laughed from beside me and I turned my full attention to him. "You are so adorable if you're getting a surprise." I rolled my eyes at him. "Do me and Bill get a surprise too?" He said a little too happily. Poor guy.

She laughed too, her curls bouncing around from side to side. "Maybe if you're good, I'll treat you all to some ice cream afterwards."

"Sounds good enough to me." Tom smiled. I rolled my eyes and leaned all the back in my seat, my arm brushed Bill's and I internally cringed. He let out a sigh.

"Are you okay back there son?" My dad asked him. Bill didn't seem to hear him, for he was off in his own little world, staring out the window. That's great it was starting to rain. Unpredictable weather Germany has. "Bill?" My dad tried again a little louder.

His head snapped up. "Huh?"

"You okay back there?" He eyed him from his rearview mirror. My dad was being an ass, he knew why Bill was so far off into his own little world. He knew why I kept stalling earlier too. I mean if it isn't obvious I don't know what is. We were furious at each other. Or I was at Bill anyways. Bill just nodded, and my dad was going to keep on but Simone put a calming hand on his arm. I don't care what you say, they were so adorable together.

My dad also hasn't had another man whoring tendency since that day I cut deep… For that I was thankful. He's been sticking to Simone's side like glue ever since. He didn't make any sense to me whatsoever. But he was my dad and I loved him. I knew that much. I swear he was in love with Simone. It hurt to think she was going to be replacing my mom, but I'd rather have it be her that anyone else out there. Besides, I already loved Simone to death.

I was sitting in suspense as we got stopped at the 5th red light in this damn town, we were almost there. I way dying to see what my surprise was. I felt like a little kid on Christmas eve. I calmed down a bit, I didn't want anyone to see my anticipation. With my luck I had extra things to clean or cook. That would suck, considering I'm highly uncoordinated today.

Bill hasn't looked at me during the whole car ride, we were basically giving each other the cold shoulder. You could feel the tension radiating off of each other! When we pulled up to the restaurant, everything was dark. Early birthday surprise maybe? Doubt it, my birthday was a long time away. I wasn't scared, just a bit excited because I was never told I was going to have a surprise waiting for me.

"You have to go in last okay sweetie?" I rolled my eyes and slouched more comfortably in the seat. Bill climbed out and so did Tom. "And don't worry about it, because they don't know what's going on either. Me and Simone arranged it." He said sweetly to me. I gave a small nod. "I'll have one of the boys text you when it's time to come in." Another nod, and I was alone. I waited and waited for the longest. I was debating whether or not to curl up in the seat and take a nap. I mean I had nothing better to do right? I gave a giant yawn to emphasize my own point. I was about to doze off if they didn't hurry up.

My phone lit up in my hand. It was on silent, but thank god I was looking at it, because who knows how long I would have sat there stupidly.

Bill: K.

I didn't bother sending a reply as I flung the car door open, the alarm went off. Who in the hell does that stuff? I shut the door and an automatic click happened disabling and re arming the car alarm. I tried not to trip on my way up the steps, when I got there the door was locked. I mean how special could this surprise be anyways? I knocked and waited patiently. A rather angry looking Bill opened up the door. I quirked an eyebrow at him, a silent gesture in asking what was going on. He let out an angry huff and stepped out of the way.

"Ready?" Simone yelled. I gave a heavy nod, because from where I was standing I could see someone standing behind her. Hiding? What in the world was going on? A random person? Do I have any other people I would really like to see right now? Yeah, but how would they even get here?

"Surprise!" Simone and my dad yelled at the same time, moving to reveal…

"Abby!" Jaimie screamed, with his arms in the air, jumping out from behind Simone. My eyes bulged and I probably had the hugest smile ever on my face. My first love, my first ex, my first everything was standing in the room with me this very second. "Get your adorable ass over here this second!"

I think I yelped in surprise and skipped my way into his arms. I forgave him for everything, because in reality I'm the one who pushed him away. He hugged me tight, picking me off the ground and spinning us around, we both laughed. It felt good to see a familiar face again. He was my best friend, ever since I was a little girl, we grew up around each other. Our moms were best friends so they stuck us together. They were ecstatic when we decided to date. Well you know how that went.

He held me at arms length. "Let me get a good look at you! I haven't seen you in ages! Let alone had a decent conversation with you. Do you still not talk?" He wasn't being rude, just caught up in the moment. I made an X on my throat. He gave a little nod. "I'm glad to see that you've gained weight." I quirked an eyebrow at him. "Well you know what I mean." He laughed. "You look so much alive here, I'm glad." He smiled sadly, tracing the scar that was on my face.

"How are things back home Jaimie?" My dad yelled from behind the kitchen doors, he was already cooking.

Jaimie laughed. "Everything's going fine, well my mom is all depressed still, but I cant expect anything different, she lost her best friend." Everyone was silent. He changed the subject. "Introduce me to your friends will you?" He tried to lighten the mood. I rummaged through my jacket pocket in need for my notepad and a pen.

_They are Bill and Tom. _I wrote sloppily on the notepad.

He had a grin on his face. "As in Tokio Hotel? As in Kaulitz?"

"Nice to meet you dude." Tom said while laughing, Bill just stood there stubbornly, good thing Jaimie didn't notice. "How'd you guys meet anyhow?" He asked my ex curiously.

"I have some stuff I brought from Kentucky. Like old yearbooks and photo albums, if you'd like to see?" Jaimie inquired.

"I'd love to see a baby Abby!" Simone exclaimed. Everyone threw in their thoughts about it, even Bill shockingly. I rolled my eyes as he grabbed a box out of the corner, I cringed. So many memories were held in this box.

"I didn't really bring pictures that old. Sorry." He said, putting the box down in front of everyone so they could take dibs at what they wanted to look at.

Simone had a decent pile of pictures, she was enjoying herself. "Who is this charming young man with Abby?" She said, trying to sound cute. Maybe even to rub it in Bill's face even more. "A boyfriend?" She smirked at me.

I glanced at the photo. Wow it has been forever since I've seen that. It was a picture of me and Andy at the beach, I was wearing a bikini and he had on board shorts and a surfboard in one hand. His arm was draped protectively around my shoulders. We didn't look alike at all, so this is why she thought we were dating. Bill took a long glance over my shoulder. "You guys look happy…" He trialed off happily. "What happened?"

I gave a small smile. _This is Andy. _I mouthed to him, with tears prickling in my eyes.

"Who is it dear?" Simone asked again, feeling out of the loop.

"That's Andy." Bill said for me. "Her twin brother." She gave a sad smile towards me.

"Here's an old yearbook." Jaimie smiled at me, sitting down on the side of me that Bill wasn't on. I was feeling a little boxed in as I opened up my past. I gave a small smile as I saw my old broken smile. Man you could tell shit was going down in my life, just by the look of my old middle school picture. I stared at myself, thinking, why the hell didn't someone do something to help me out.

Bill was leaning on me. "I don't care how mad you are at me right now, I have the urge to hug you. I don't care if you hug back or not." He said, wrapping me tightly in his arms, I was stiff and didn't hug him back. He sighed and glanced at Jaimie. "Why didn't you do anything to help her? I mean I'm not pointing fingers, its just a question."

Jaimie gave a friendly smile, I mean who could be mad at an international rockstar anyways? I guess that was only me. I shrugged out of his arms and sat blankly there. "Honestly, I had a ton of crap going on with me at the moment too, I was too blinded by anything to notice." Then he looked at me. "You forgive me right?" He looked so sad and far away.

_I was never mad at you, I understood where you were coming from Jaimie. _I sighed. _If anything I'm sorry for worrying you. _

He snorted. "Never be sorry for something you cant control. You had your reasons, I just felt like I abandoned you in the end."

_Not your fault. I pushed you away._ This felt weird to talk to in front of other people about. Because I knew they were all listening, well to his side of the conversation anyways. I was stuck writing sloppily on a dumb note pad.

"You know, I still go there…" He trailed off when I gave him a clueless look. "Where your car was found after the accident, trying to find some kind of clue as to where he went…" He sucked in a giant breath, tears forming in his eyes. "I just cant believe it. He was our fucking art teacher. I liked him!" He exclaimed. I was past the point of people caring about this. "And the fact that he killed…" He trialed off when my face paled.

_I don't want to talk about that. _I wrote, clear as day. I couldn't talk about it. I would relapse and cut myself off from people if I did. I already knew. That's what I did when it happened. Talking about it made me relive it. I couldn't do that.

He gave a tired sigh.

Tom looked like he closed himself off from everyone, taking in the information he'd just learned about me. Simone being the ever persistent one had to go and ask questions. "Your art teacher killed who honey?" She was using a sweet tone of voice. "You know you can share anything with us right?"

I didn't answer. But Bill took up for me. Shocking I know. "Mom! Quit being so nosey, cant you tell this is a hard subject on her?" He exclaimed.

"Just asking…" She muttered. I smiled, because she was just like a little kid.

My dad came bustling out of the kitchen with _food. _Thank god! I don't think I could stand sitting here another moment talking about my past. We all put my old memories back into the box and Jaimie returned it to the corner. It was time to eat, having those family conversations that embarrassed you. Boy did some of these topics get heated too.

"One time…" Jaimie started off. "When Abby Cat stayed the night at my house, I guess she sleep walked?" Everyone busted out laughing at this. I just slouched more and pouted. "Well anyways, she somehow ended up with the scissors and chopped most of her hair off!"

Tom was laughing the hardest. "Did you really?" I nodded and blushed. "That is pretty hilarious if you ask me!"

_That's why I didn't ask you :P _I wrote, showing it to him.

He rolled his eyes. "What's the history with you guys anyways?" He asked, takin a bite out of some rice.

Oh god here my dad goes, he was getting into turbo story mode. I was kind of terrified. "This boy right here?" He pointed his fork towards Jaimie, who was on my right, and Bill was on my left. "He was my daughters best friend, their moms grew up together, so they stuck them together." He laughed. "You should have seen my wife's face when she figured out they were dating. Like a dream come true!"

Bill stiffened. "They dated?" He looked over at us. "Really?" I only nodded. I guess it did seem like an unlikely match, Jaimie had brown hair and dressed really preppy now. And well, I was emo Abby.

My dad started up again. "You bet they dated! They were inseperable and started holding hands at a very young age! Jaimie here was her first love, first kiss, the first sex…" My eyes bulged, I was so embarrassed. I wound back my foot and kicked my dad as hard as I could.

"Ah!" Tom yelled, grabbing at his knee. I failed. "Bill goddamnit!" He cringed in pain. "Watch where you keep those giant boats, what were you trying to do? Kick a winning touchdown?"

Bill stared at his brother like he was stupid, and I took my chance to stare down my dad. He was busy looking at the scene unfolding in front of him by the twins. I then gave Simone a pleading look, she understood.

"Max honey, maybe you shouldn't talk about your daughter like that in front of friends? You're embarrassing her." She gave a pleading look. Thank god for Simone.

"I apologize." Dad said to me, I just sipped on my soda sadly.

XxX

It was time for Jaimie to go now, and I was shedding tears for him, I really was going to miss him. It was good to see a familiar face around here. He was only here in the first place because his mom was having an art showing here in Germany, they were traveling and on the road a lot. His mom couldn't take our old town either; too many old memories. Everyone let us be for a moment.

"I'm sorry my mom couldn't come and see you guys." He said sadly, pulling me into a giant hug. "Be strong okay? And I know you and Bill are in a giant argument, over what? I don't know. But don't you think its best to forgive and forget? And I really want you to tell someone your story to. Not a bit of it, the full thing. You'll feel so much better." He kissed my scar and hugged me tighter. I hugged back even more tighter, I was going to miss him.

Pretty soon he drove off in his little rental car, off into the pitch black of night. I hope he would be safe out there. I sighed. I knew he was right, I was going to have to tell someone about my past really soon. And I will. But I don't think I could forgive Bill that easily. I mean could you blame me though? He was a horrible little shit. He was better though, but Heather wasn't with him, so that's expected.

I walked back into the restaurant and Bill was still sulking, I just wanted to run up to him and shake the shit out of him. Tom was texting, Shilo I presume. When they heard the door shut they all looked up at me. "How'd you like your surprise sweetie?" Dad asked me. I just nodded in acknowledgement, too tired to really do anything else. I needed sleep. I needed to sort everything out in my head. I knew one thing for sure, I was going to stay mad at Bill until he dumps that dumb prostitute hooker bitch. Yeah, jealousy works both ways.

I sighed.

This was a long night.

**:3**

**Like? Dislike? Things are about to pick up fyi :] Oh, and I wanted to throw out that I saw Harry Potter part 2 today, and teared up so bad like at every scene. Its like my childhood is gone. :/ Well I'm gonna stop now, because I can go on about it forever! :D**

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**-OKAY! Tokyo! South America! Australia! France! Germany! UK! Africa! Calling out around the world, are you ready for a brand new beat? Summers here and the time is right for dancing in the streets. Dancing in Chicago, down in New Orleans, In New York City! All we need is music. Sweet music. :3**

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	24. Strobe light incident

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX **

**The song was Dancing in the Street. Numerous people have recreated that song. Shaker10. Tokio Nutter. And Sakura Kiryuu got it :D **

**-I've came to a conclusion. Only a few more chapters to go : )**

Alien

Chapter 24: Strobe light incident

I was never going to get used to making out with Georg. It was a terrifying experience actually, he was so much bigger than me. And frankly, I thought of him as my older protective brother. It's kind of weird if you think about it that way though, so when we kiss I try not to think about anything. I just blank out my mind and clear my thoughts. I wish Bill would quit being such a stubborn ass.

We haven't said a word to each other in about whole week. Today was Georg's birthday and Simone insisted on throwing him a giant ass party with a few of our close acquaintances. I of course was stuck helping Simone and Shilo with the decorations for the party. They told me I didn't have to help, but how could I refuse? They were the two sane people in my life right now. His birthday party was going to be really epic hopefully. We all knew we needed a good party before prom.

Yeah Prom was only a few days away, and I was nervous as hell. As for Bill and Heather, I still haven't seen them making out or kissing. So them together didn't hurt me as much as if I did see them kissing. Prom. I was sort of excited to be going to my Junior Prom, because it was my first. I just wish I could go with the one meant to be with me. Bill. Hopefully things will go better after, and Bill will get his head out of his ass. Stubborn jerk.

He tries to talk to me sometimes, like in class for help on some answers, but I just ignore him. Makes me feel bad, because I know he's probably failing Math class now. The material has gotten a whole lot rough on him, and everyone else. Screw him. I guess I'm the only one giving the cold shoulder here, but I couldn't help it, if I talked to him I would do doubt get hurt. Hell, either way I was hurting myself, but this was the only rational way to go.

I didn't want to think about it at the moment, today I only wanted to enjoy the party. As in; I was getting drunk. It's legal here in Germany and my dad don't really care so that's a good thing. I needed something besides cutting to take away the pain. And hopefully one good night of drinking can calm my jittery nerves. I've never been to a party with alcohol, so it's a first. Call me crazy, I know.

"Hey, can you hand me the banners and start putting up the strobe lights?" Simone asked me from her spot on the ladder. She was decorating the living room in streamers and banners. Shilo was busy holding the ladder so she wouldn't fall. She looked a bit off balance, so she needed extra support. I nodded and handed her the banners.

I sighed in relief when I didn't really have to do anything, I sucked a decorating. With the strobe lights, all I had to do was place two of them in different spots in this giant ass room. I don't know why, the majority of the party was going to be staying outside. Less people, so it wouldn't feel as crowded and hot. It was supposed to be a clear day today, and it'll be nice and warm. I'm glad, because I was sick of this bipolar weather. Either keep it hot or cold. Don't go back and forth like a maniac. But I could care less today, warm was my all time favorite weather.

I was having difficulty hooking one of them up when Bill came in, barely missing me with the door. He gave it a silent slam. "Mom, I was wondering what we were going to eat for tonight?" I snorted, Bill was always looking for something to eat.

She laughed. "Don't you worry about it. It's Georg's party, not yours remember? If you get too hungry you can order yourself a pizza? Sound good?" She wobbled a bit, and Shilo reached up and caught her, and helped steady herself.

"Be careful up there ok?" He said to Simone, with worry laced in his pretty little voice. I shook him out of my thoughts, this wasn't a day to drool over Bill, it was a time to just not think about him for the moment. I couldn't really do that with him in the room, now could I?

"If you really cared, then you would be over here holding the ladder." Shilo huffed. What the hell snuck into her Kool-Aid this morning?

Bill huffed. "Don't even fucking start with me, I'm not in the mood. And don't tell me I don't care about my mom." I guess the grouchy attitude was going around today or something.

Simone huffed, it resembled to Bill's. "Language!" She chided. "Anything you want to talk about?" She said sympathetically. "And you're never too old for momma to wash your mouth out with soap!"

He rolled his eyes. "No thanks, I don't want to talk about it with you…" He trailed off embarrassed. She gave a toothy smile and laughed.

"Abby!" She called. And Bill looked over to me, shocked. He didn't know I was here. I would have laughed if I wasn't so pissed off. "Can you be a dear and get me cold glass of water?" She smiled at me, I couldn't help but nod. "Good. Anyone else want anything?" No one did.

I put the finishing touches on the strobe light, I just couldn't really fix the cords or anything. I hope no one would notice, and it would work fine. When I got up to walk towards the kitchen, Bill yelled. "Abby! Don't move!" His face was worried with panic.

I of course didn't listen to him, because well, I'm a bit slow like that. I mean whatever. I wish I would have listened to him though, my foot was tangled in the strobe light cords and I hit the dust hard. I remember falling in slow motion, because I tried to catch myself on the couch. But I ended up banging my head real good on the coffee table though. I gave a little yelp of pain. Bill rushed to my form, lying on the rug of the living room.

He may be an asshole, but at least he still cared for me, no matter how pissed I was at him. "Are you ok?" Actually, I didn't know if I was. I could only stare at him with shock. "Can you tell me your name?" Could I? He sighed. "What letter does your name start with? Hold up your fingers." I stared at my fingers in confusion. A. A. A is one right? I held up 1 finger. My name was Abby. He sighed in relief and helped me to my feet.

"Abbs are you alright?" Simone was all of a sudden next to me, off of her ladder. Shilo was gathered around me too, I'm glad they cared for me. I nodded. "Are you sure, you took quite a fall. I think you hit your temple."

_I'm fine. _I mouthed to her. She only gave a sad smile and nodded to me. I blushed when I realized Bill's hands were still placed firmly around my waist, like I was going to fall again. I gently shrugged out of his embrace and turned to face him. _Thanks. _He didn't reply, because I slowly walked away and into the kitchen. I pulled out my phone and checked my reflection. I was going to have a nasty bruise later when it healed some.

I fixed Simone her damn glass of water, and I got a baggy of ice for my temple. I could have cried with relief, because it felt that good when I placed it on my swollen skin. I handed her the glass and plopped my already tired self down on the very comfortable couch. Shilo laughed at my expression. "How are you and Georg going along?" She said. Simone and my dad knew we were dating, but the thing that didn't know was that it was all fake.

I gave a thumbs up, because I couldn't write at the moment, and she gave a sympathetic smile before she went over to the hopeless strobe light and concluded that it was broken and done for. I blushed because I felt really bad that I broke something for Georg.

Today was going to be a hell of a long day for sure.

XxX

I shouldn't have said that, because the rest of the day actually went by super fast. Simone convinced me to bring along my swimsuit, and I was wearing it as we speak. It was a good time to take another step in moving forward. Not caring what people thought of you. Scars and all. No adults were going to be at the party, not Simone or my dad. I was kind of on edge because these dumb teenagers could get to be so damn mean about everything. I wasn't really going to worry about it because I'm sure Georg wouldn't let anything happen to me. He was that caring sometimes.

Currently I was sitting sideways in his lap outside, I was sort of uncomfortable in the least. He kept playing with the ties of my top, running his hands all over my body. I had to act the part. So I went along with it. Bill was sitting at the table on the other side of the lawn in his swim trunks with Tom and Shilo. He kept giving us glares, but I knew it's worth it because I liked seeing that jealous look on his face. Knowing he's jealous because he truly wants me.

No one has arrived for the party yet, people should be getting here any minute. The party started like five minutes ago, but I guess everyone liked to make a late entrance or something. I gave Georg's arm a good strong punch when his hands snaked a little too low. He only smirked. He was being way too touchy feely about this whole fake relationship deal. His hands started to roam in between my legs. Bill's eyes were as big as saucers as he watched the scene unfold before him. At least he didn't walk away before he figured out how it really happened.

I shoved his arm away angrily. "Wha.. What are you doing?" He slurred.

I quirked my eyebrows at him. _Are you seriously drunk? Before your party even starts? You are going to be a fucking mess before the night ends._

I'm pretty sure he didn't even register that I was talking. He tried to make a move for my boobs this time and I shoved him hard. Well only hard enough to knock him backwards onto his lawn chair. He laughed at that. "Are we going to do it?" I would have laughed if other people weren't here and I wasn't as pissed off at him. I scoffed and hopped up. I moved a bit too fast and my temples throbbed. "Awh don't be mad babe." He slurred reaching out for me.

I backed away and walked towards the guys, sitting at the table watching us with their mouths practically hanging open. I sat with a huff, almost falling off the chair, which was wet from the pool water. I had one hell of a headache and Georg's loud ass laughter isn't helping at all. Tom smirked my way. "Well Abbs, I would say something to him, but he's drunk and he probably don't mean it." He said it with an apologetic smile.

Shilo was laughing pretty hard at the moment. I'm glad someone was finding this hilarious. "I cant believe he's wasted already, it's not even dark out here yet."

I nodded agreeing to her, and shrugged. I mean he cant really help it, he was only wanting to have a good time I guess. Bill scoffed. "I cant believe you let him talk to you like that, if it were someone else you would have snapped at them." He said towards me.

I shrugged and looked at him, my eyes were a bit cloudy because of my temple issue. _Well he's drunk? So I cant really hold him responsible for anything. Hopefully he isn't shit faced by the time guests start arriving._

He sighed. "True I guess."

"Hey you guys I've missed you!" Said a slightly chubby boy walking through their backdoor. He was wearing a pair of boxy black glasses, he was really adorable, and had a cute smile.

"Gustav!" Tom yelled and bounded up from his chair giving the other boy a nice man hug. Ah, so this is the Gustav I've heard so much about. He seemed really sweet and shy. But that's alright, because I didn't talk. We'd for sure get along great no doubt.

After Gus was done hugging Bill and Shilo he turned to me. "So you must be Abby?" He said towards me. I only nodded and held out my hand for him to shake. "Nonsense! I'm in such a good mood, you get a hug too." He smirked, giving me a tiny hug. He could tell I was having a headache. "I've heard a lot about you!" He exclaimed. What was he on happy juice?

_All good I hope. _I said with a teasing smile, I didn't want to get off on Gustav's wrong foot. I at least wanted to seem like a nice person. Another friend was made.

He laughed. "I don't read lips, but you seem really nice. Sorry but I have to see the birthday boy. Where's my best friend at?" He smiled. I jerked my thumb and pointed to behind me. He was sitting there staring off at the pool, not noticing the commotion? Okay then.

Gustav ran over to show himself to Georg. They missed each other. I huffed and turned around. This party needed to start already. "I'm glad Gusti is back." Shilo sighed happily.

Tom snorted. "What, you got a thing for him now or something?" He faked hurt.

She giggled. Well it was good to finally see her in a tip top good mood. "Definitely not, you know I only have eyes for you." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and blushed. "I'm just glad he's here to take Georg out of my hair, he can get to be too much sometimes, it's like Jake all over again, but not as bad."

"Where is Jake anyways?" Bill asked. Like he even cared. But I was also curious, I haven't seen him in a long time.

She gave a sad sigh. "He's staying at one of his pot head friends house. Whatever right? I'm pretty sure he's going to drop out soon." She rolled her eyes.

"Dumbass." Tom said.

I think we all silently agreed. No one really wanted to talk about Jake, because it was going to down us all. And I'm pretty sure they all needed this party to loosen up a bit. We sighed gratefully as the guests and partygoers showed up just as the sun was setting, we turned on the back porch lights and blasted some good ole Tokio Hotel. I'm sure we were going to have complaints, but rockstars could literally get away with anything.

I was sitting off to the side of the party, on a brick lining of their fence, opposite of my yard. Sipping on my alcoholic beverage, I don't even know what it was called, all I knew it was numbing me. And if felt good. I've never been drunk before, and I was feeling very tipsy. Not full on drunk yet. I didn't want to get wasted like Georg, because my friends would never let me live it down. If I used to sleepwalk, I wonder how bad of a drunk I'd be? Almost makes me want to figure out. Almost.

Bill was looking for Heather, apparently she disappeared about ten minutes ago, and he's checked everywhere so far. I wanted to laugh at his stupidity. Heather was a whore! And this is a party with tons of drunk guys! She's probably whoring around anyways. I almost felt bad for the guy, because his intentions were so sweet and caring. But I couldn't feel sorry for him. He knew what he was getting into when he asked her out. Dumbass. He deserved someone better, like me. Cocky much?

I was feeling moody, and I was glad I was alone at the moment. Everyone was pissed that Georg wouldn't turn up, I mean he's probably passed out drunk somewhere. What better way to spend your birthday than in a shrub. Hey, to each their own. Hopefully he would turn up soon, people wanted him to open his gifts, so they would know if he liked it or not. They wanted him to do it in this state because he would tell the truth, I mean who wouldn't in this state?

After a while of looking Bill just gave up and ended up sitting at a table alone, looking rather lonely. Like I said, he's the idiot for dating her. Man this party was pretty boring. I mean I didn't really know anyone here, there was a bunch of no count losers from school, but none I'd socialize with. I didn't even know where Tom or Shilo was. This totally blows. I mean seriously? I could have just stayed home, or went with my dad to his restaurant. I could have just sat there until closing time.

I think all this alcohol was giving me mood swings, usually if I was in one of those moods, Id stay there. This was a bitch. I hated being so filled with emotion. All of a sudden Tom come out of nowhere, tripping over his big ass baggy pants. He came up to Bill and then they both came over to me. He looked like he was confused, and was scared to tell me something. He was nervously biting on his lip ring. "You need to come with me." He stated almost quietly. I had to listen extra hard just to hear.

"Why does she have to come too?" Bill asked confused. He wasn't trying to be mean, he just genuinely wanted to know. I could hear it in his voice.

Tom sighed heavily. "Because it has to do with both of you guys ok?"

"Is someone hurt?" Bill fretted.

"Calm your tits!" Tom exclaimed, leading us off into the house.

"Been hanging around Shilo too much…" Bill muttered to himself as he trialed behind me. I was a bit worked up, because I didn't know what was going on. I mean it couldn't be that bad could it? Well it must have if Tom brought his lazy ass out here to tell us it. He never does that kind of stuff, he was a really lazy person at heart for real. I held my breath as we made it up the stairs of the Kaulitz house.

He turned to us. "You all need to see what's behind these doors. I don't want to be here when you guys explode. So I'm going to leave." He slinked away almost stealthily.

I took a deep breath and turned to Bill. _What do you think is going on? I'm kind of terrified._

He sighed. "I don't know, but I guess we'll have to check it out soon huh?" He was as worried as I was, it looked like he may have a conclusion in his head too. And it didn't look too pleasant on his face. It made something bad clench in my stomach. I was worried.

_I guess we should look now…_

"I don't know if I can. You should look first, can you?" Poor guy really didn't want to face what was in there.

_You're a big baby. _I joked, trying to lighten the mood. He didn't seem too amused. I rolled my eyes and turned towards the door and stopped just short of the doorknob when I heard giggling coming from the other side. Was that Heather? My eyes bulged. I rolled my eyes, thinking about who her sex victim was for tonight.

I flung the door to the guest bedroom open hard and messily, it banged against the wall hard. My hands flew to my mouth and I gasped. Tears immediately sprung to my eyes. Heather was fucking my _fake boyfriend. _Georg? What in the hell. Their heads snapped up to my position in the doorway. Georg pushed Heather off of his cock and tried to find some clothes. Seems like he's sobered up fast huh?

"Abby it's not what it looks like…" He trialed off, slipping on some clothes and trying to come towards me. I let the tears fall and I pushed a very sick looking Bill out of the way. I locked myself in the bathroom. Even though we weren't really dating it hurt a whole hell of a lot being rejected for the second time in my life for Heather. What was so fucking special about her besides that she was easier that a kindergarten spelling test?

The bangs on the bathroom eventually came to a stop, and I was curled on on the toilet seat, bawling my eyes out. I was all of a sudden sober too, feeling every ounce of pain. Crying was killing my head and I actually felt a blackout coming along. But I didn't want to. I didn't need to blackout in the Kaulitz bathroom, that would be embarrassing, and would call for another round of worried questioning. I sighed and ran some water over my face.

I hated the feeling of rejection. Drunk or not, Georg should have known what he was doing. The fucking asshole. I should beat the shit out him, but I wont. Because I'm such a good person. It still didn't stop the clenching in my heart. I knew it, not even my fake boyfriend wanted me, I was just destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Why does everything bad have to happen to me? Cant the bad luck fall on someone else for once? I'd actually love that.

I sniffled as a knock came from the door. I mean what am I supposed to do answer them what a _Who is it? _Instead I just stood there, tears still falling. I waited for whoever it was to make their presence known. I wasn't in the mood for company. "Abby?" Bill's voice said sadly from the other side of the damn door. But I was in the mood for my best friend.

I didn't bother fixing myself in the mirror before I opened the door, because I figured his appearance was going to be somewhat similar to mine. I slowly opened it and was met with a very tore up looking Bill. He looked like a complete and utter mess, but I guess we both did really. I stepped aside and let him in with me. I don't care how angry I was with him, I really needed him. And I could say the same thing about him. He needed me.

I embraced him in a giant hug, and he chuckled despite the circumstances. "I really missed our hugs you know." He hugged me tighter and sat me on top of the counter, standing between my legs. It was weird because my shorts had rose up and look more like underwear now. But I could care less right now. I was with my best friend. He would make all the hurt better, right?

He gave a sad smile. "I'm so sorry Abby, Gerog… and Heather…" He trailed off gulping for air. Another wave of tears fell from his swollen eyes. I sniffled and smiled, using my thumbs to wipe away his tears.

_I'm so sorry Bill, I missed talking to you so much. But you pissed me off so bad. Because I really truly like you… _I didn't get a chance to finish before his lips hungrily attacked mine. We kissed each other crazily, melting each others pain away.

I really missed this…

I didn't think about what probably was going to happen tomorrow. I had to deal with Georg, but I really wanted to put that off. At the moment I was busy kissing my best friend.

I missed the idiotic asshole…

**:3**

**Sorry for the wait! :D I broke 4,000 for you all, so that must count for something right? And like I said, only a few more chapters left. : ) Cant wait to hear what you guys think about this chappy. But I simply couldn't keep Bill and Abby mad at each other, it just isn't right. This is the Bill we all love, he's back :D**

**LYRICS :D**

**-Well, my girl's in the next room, sometimes I wish she was you, I guess we never really moved on… **

**Those were short. But I'm too tired to look through my songs and get lyrics… I'm sleepless : )) **

**REVIEW :D :D :D**


	25. Track repeat go on and on

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX **

**Malec 4 eva and Sakura Kuryuu got the song. Hinder- Lips of an Angel**

**-Uhm, there is a lot of things going on in here, so if you don't like all that good mushy pre sex stuff. Don't read. This is my warning ;)**

Alien

Chapter 25: Track repeat go on and on!

You'd think I wouldn't have had a hangover when I woke up, with the lack of alcohol I drank. But when you throw in the aching temple, loads of crying and a tiny bit of drinking you get a full blown migraine. My eyes weren't even open and every breath I took, every move I made I was wincing in pain. I was just laying there, in an unknown place. But that didn't matter at the moment, I was focusing on the pain, trying to make it disappear. It wasn't really working, and I haven't even attempted on moving yet. I was somehow dreading it.

I didn't have to move, because someone started shaking me. As if to wake me up. "Abby…" Definitely Bill's sweet little voice. "You have to get up lovely." He said lovely like he was testing me. I didn't mind now that I wasn't mad at him anymore. I was certainly pleased with last night. Even though it meant losing another guy to heather… I cleared my head.

I popped open my eyes really slowly, giving a loud groan because the windows were opened, and the sun was shining brightly through. Bill appeared and blocked out the sun with his horribly matted hair. He wasn't looking so great either, more like the opposite actually. I don't even know how he's going to get all that hairspray mixed with sweat and drool out of his hair. No offense to him but it looked outright painful to brush. I don't know how he does it all the time.

"I think we need to get up." He stated giving a little wince. I smiled a bit, because it was weird seeing Bill not in a chipper mood so early in the morning. Wait. What time was it anyways? He smiled. "Don't worry lovely, it's almost 12 in the afternoon. I think we need to get up and get rid of our hangovers."

I held out my arms, in a gesture for him to help pull me up. I was scared to move my body on my own. He pulled my up, and I painfully groaned. The blankets fell off of me in the process and when I went to hang my heads in my hands I noticed something. Was I naked? I raised the blanket up to see underneath it. My swimsuit bottoms were definitely gone. I raised my head up to Bill and he was blushing like crazy. _What in the hell happened last night? _I said, trying not to move.

"We didn't have sex." He stated a little too quickly. "Um, but we did other things…" He trailed off, all innocent sounding.

_Like? _I ushered him on. Is it bad I didn't remember anything after we were kissing in the bathroom? It made me feel like a really bad friend not remembering anything at all. Frankly I didn't even remember climbing in bed. I must have hit my head super hard the other day.

He gave a frown. "You don't remember anything at all?" He was obviously sad. What in the hell did we do? If it left me without any clothes.

_I don't remember much, but I think it has to with when I hit my head. I'm sorry, I cant really help that though. So it isn't my fault. _I gave a cheesy smile.

He rolled his eyes and gave me a gentle smile, eyes crinkling at the edges. "You're right, it isn't your fault." He gave me a light kiss on the lips, slowly working his way down to my neck, nibbling and tearing hard. He knew my neck was my weak point, my turn on spot. "How about I remind you what happened last night lovely. Because I sure as hell remember everything." He smirked sexily down at me.

I gave his eyes a shy look, I wonder what's came over him. He went from to feeling whatsoever towards me to filling me up? I don't think I've ever wanted to well, do him as much as I did right now. I gave a small nod, to let him know I was alright with him doing what we did last night. I was excited to find out, there was a fiery pit collecting in the bottom of my stomach. I was wet. And I wanted my best friend. He gave another sexy smile and threw off the covers completely. "Doors locked." He grinned at me.

He gave me hungry kissed moving down to my boobs, he pawed at them, sucking lightly. "You moan so loud lovely. It's such a fucking turn on." He sighed. I'm pretty sure I was blushing. He bit the skin of my scarred stomach, leaving small hickeys on his was down to my wet area. He gently spread my legs, palming me lightly, working his fingers to part my folds. I was bearing myself to my best friend. He smirked. "Already wet lovely?" I was on my elbows, staring, hopefully sexily down at him. My headache was suddenly gone, I was only focusing on the wonders Bill could do.

He slipped a finger inside of me and I felt my hips buck up, he didn't do anything to stop me. Saying the harder I bucked, the louder I moaned, and he liked it a bit too much. His room was soundproof too! So that was good. He fit two fingers inside of me and worked them in and out, I leaned my head back and gave a moan. I didn't feel bad about it either, it felt natural. I suddenly felt something warm sucking on my sensitive area, my head was swimming in ecstasy. Bill sure did know how to put that tongue ring to good use.

I blushed as I grabbed on to his hair, forcing him to keep on working on me with his mouth. I realized his hair is probably matted like it is because of me. I also wondered why Bill was so damn good at this, because I know for a fact he's a virgin, but I'm not sure if he's done this before. I'm finding myself hoping I'm the first for some reason. He was such a dirty talker when this was happening. Sweet guy, dirty and rough in the bedroom for sure. I felt my legs start to shake and I came. I'm pretty sure that was the best I've ever had someone finger and suck on me before.

He came up licking his lips, he sure did look sexy doing so too. I leaned up and pulled him down to me, kissing him full on the lips. I tasted myself on him, and took satisfaction in it. I flipped us over so I was on top, his hands immediately went to my boobs and I leaned my head back. _Is that all that happened? _I smirked down at him. He was toying with his tongue ring.

"Pretty much," He smiled sweetly. "Now get down here so I can kiss you." I granted his wish as I took his tongue in my mouth, swirling it around. I couldn't explain the taste of Bill, it was simply; Bill. I scooted down to his crotch, and I wasn't disappointed to say the least. He was so hard.

I quirked my eyebrows. _What about you? _I blushed, feeling a little bold. My best friend just went down on me, I'm sure I could ask to do the same.

He thought about it, but the look on his face said it all. "Is it safe to say I really don't like girls giving blow jobs?" He blushed, having felt weird to say it out loud.

I smiled shyly and nodded. It wasn't classy at all. _Anything I can do for your little issue there? _I grinded on him, and he let out a sharp breath and leaned his head back into the mess of pillows.

He shook his head, I felt a little hurt. But I knew Bill too well to know that he wasn't coming off as rude. I was actually fine with it. "I just don't want us to have sex." He said sadly. "It just don't feel like the right moment. Coming off of a bad hangover and doing it just don't scream romantic."

I smiled and rolled my eyes, looking down at him. I lowered myself to give him a nice peck on the lips. _Forever the romantic. _

He smiled. "You look really happy."

Well how couldn't I be? And plus he didn't say he didn't want to have sex with me, just that is wasn't the right time. Which means we were going to eventually do it sometime in the future. I was okay with that. I would wait forever for this boy. As long as nothing like the heather incident happens again. Then I'll be pissed at him to no ends. We did not need to go through something like that again. Speaking of Heather. I needed to talk to Georg. I needed to hit something.

I gave a sigh. "Thinking about talking to Georg?" He said sadly. I only nodded. "If I could, I'd beat the crap out of him for you. But, he's twice my size." He ushered me off of him and I just sat there, I had no clothes. Like he read my mind he tossed me a pair of plaid sleep pants and a tank. I smirked as he tossed me a pair of his boxers. I was going to be wearing them. Is it weird to get excited over something like that? I really didn't hope so, because I found it sweet.

I changed, without blushing in front of him. And he did the same. We occasionally stole a glance at the other, but it wasn't awkward. It was like we were both in love with each other, because that's when nothing you did with the other was awkward. Well I think you get what I'm saying. I am in love. And I've never felt like this before in my whole life. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I wanted to wait for when I was sure I could actually say it. You know, without the whole breakdown from talking came afterwards. I didn't need that. Neither did poor ole Bill.

He laughed, looking at his reflection. "Oh gott. You're lucky, because I'm absolutely so happy at the moment, I'm not caring that we've messed up my hair beyond repair."

I gave a bright smile, I'm sure it lit up my whole face. _It's kind of sexy. _I smirked, touching it, and realizing the poor guy was in for it.

He rolled his eyes. "It is not sexy, you on the other hand…" He trailed off kissing my neck. "Anyways, I think if you must go talk to Georg then you might as well get it over with. I'm sure we have to go dress and tux shopping later on today anyways. Might as well do it with a clear conscious right?"

He had a point. I nodded. _Dumb asshole. _Then I came to a conclusion. _I should probably tell you something Billa… _I was getting sad. I had to tell him that…

"What?" He said with a slow grin. "That you were only dating Georg to make me jealous and pissed off?" He placed a kiss on my agape mouth, I was in complete shock. How in the hell did he know that?

Then it dawned on me. _Shilo? _I was blushing like crazy. _Don't hate me please? _I don't want to lose Bill because I decided to make out with one of his closest friends to make him jealous.

He laughed. "Don't worry lovely. Shilo came to me and told me at the party. She is feels very guilty and sorry when she's drunk." He shook his head.

_What do you have to say about all of this? _I don't know if I really wanted to hear his answer. I was scared.

He smiled, trying to pull his hair up into a low ponytail. "I'm not mad at you, clearly." He said referring to earlier. "I think its cute that you were going to try to make me jealous."

_Um, did it work? _I could have smacked myself, but I just needed to know. I was blushing again.

He smirked. "Honestly yes. It was killing me that you were kissing another guy, knowing it wasn't me." He shook his head sadly. "What's the farthest you've guys went?"

My eyes bulged. _It's definitely not like that. We kind of only kissed and stuff when you were around. I don't like Georg like that. Shilo's idea completely._

"I'm sorry for getting with Heather, in a sense I wanted to see if you cared enough to do something about it." He smiled. "And you did. You made me jealous as hell." He rolled his eyes.

I took my chance and changed the subject. _I'm sorry about your hair, it looks painful. _

"I guess that's what I get for sleeping with hairspray in my hair, drooling, having my best friend yank and matt it up. In a sense it was worth it." I rolled my eyes. "I'm thinking today is a hoodie day." He pulled out a hoodie and threw it on, along with a giant pair of sunglasses. It almost covered his whole face. "I have to get to my hairstylist ASAP.

I rolled my eyes. I had another good question. _Where does this leave us? As in the whole relationship slash best friend status. I'm quite confused on it._

He chewed his lip nervously, thinking over it. "I really don't want to be in a relationship at the moment, with our big tour coming up and all. Is that ok with you lovely. If it's not I'm sorry…"

I put a calming arm on his shoulder, looking up at him. _It's fine. I know where you're coming from. But when you leave for tour… _He cut me off, knowing what I was getting at.

I could hear the eye roll in his voice. "There wont be any other girls, I promise. You mean too much to me to lose you over a girl. But I want the same thing from you too. Got it?"

I gave a good laugh and nodded. Now what we had that settled, we both took off towards his bedroom door. He gave me a sweet kiss. "I'll meet you guys at the Prom shoppe after my visit to the hairstylist alright? We should totally match." He gave a full out grin.

I quirked an eyebrow. _What? Are we going to prom together now or something? _I smiled.

"Well most definitely. Screw Georg and Heather… But not literally." He laughed before turning. "Good look Liebe." He called quietly over his shoulder. My stomach fluttered at that. _Love._

I decided to get it over with and to go on and scope Georg out, he was ruining my all over good Bill induced mood. Fucker. Yup, totally pissed off now. Tom ran into me coming out of the bathroom, and steadied me as I almost fell. "You alright there?" I nodded, looking behind him for any sign of Georg. "You look a bit pissed, can I help you find anything?" He said, trying to help.

_Where's Georg so I can beat the fuck out of him? _I didn't mean it literally, I was going to try to talk civilly to him first. If he did anything stupid, or anything that pissed me off, I was going to lose it.

Tom sighed, I guess from not being able to read lips. "Well, I only caught the word _Georg _and _fuck. _So, I'm assuming you want Georg. He's in the kitchen, eating off his hangover." I rolled my eyes and started to walk down the stairs, Tom was at my side. "You want me to help?" He said. I shook my head, I really just needed to do this alone, so I could get over it. I needed to know what the hell was his problem. As Tom kept going straight to the living room, to lay with Shilo. I turned to the kitchen.

There he was sitting with his back to me at the table. I did the rational thing, and went to sit across from him. His head popped up at my abrupt presence. I saw him wince in pain, good. I hope he had one of the worst hangovers known to man. "Oh Abby!" He called. Trying to stand up from the table to come comfort me.

I waved a hand, telling him to cut the shit. _What the hell was last night? What the fuck happened? I could fucking strangle you._

He put up his arms in a calming gesture. "It's not like we were dating, so why should it matter who I sleep with to you?"

I rolled my eyes. _You had better not mean that. _I stated. _You fucked HEATHER! _I exclaimed. _Do you know how bad it hurts to lose someone else to her fake charms? Fake dating or not, first it was Bill, then you. Do you know how bad that hurts?_

His face held sympathy. "I'm truly sorry Abby." He looked down at his bacon with a grimace. He didn't want it anymore. I hope he puked. "I was drunk, and I admit, I do the dumbest shit while drunk."

_Clearly! _I wanted to shout. _Well, me and Bill are friends again, just wanted to let you know. _

"Did you guys do it?" He said out of the blue, I didn't blush or anything as I shook my head. We really didn't. "Well I'm sorry, and I swear I'm never going to do that shit with Heather again."

I rolled my eyes. _Whatever, just make sure you didn't catch any STD's. _He laughed despite myself not joking. I narrowed my eyes at him. _Just stay on my good side for the next few days and we wont have a problem._

He sighed sadly. "I'm sorry, how can I make it up to you?"

_Stay on my good side. _I stated more obvious.

"Am I still taking you to Prom?" He asked.

_Nope._

"And why's that?" He asked, already knowing the answer I bet. Just wanting me to confirm it.

_Bill's taking me. _I gave in and blushed like a school girl this time. It was amazing to say that. Bill. Is. Taking. Me. To. Prom.

He gave a nervous laugh. "About time, now I don't have to go…"

Shilo snorted. "Oh, were making you go." She called, walking past the kitchen. She popped her head in. "If were suffering through dress and tux shopping, you're going too."

He rolled his eyes, giving a good ole Georg laugh. Then wincing. He was funny. "Well I don't have a date, so I'm not going." He said stubbornly.

Shilo smiled mischievously. "You already bought your tickets. Plus I'm sure Gusti wouldn't mind going." She laughed.

"I'm not taking Gustav to fucking prom." He said in defiance.

Gustav walked around the corner in his boxers and a single sock. Carrying a cereal bowl. "You are taking me to prom and you'll deal with it." He said firmly, and the look on his face made me laugh.

Simone bounded through the back door. "I call taking Abbs dress shopping!" She sang happily.

Shilo pouted. "Aren't we all going together?"

"Yes, but I want to help her pick it out." She sounded like a little kid, in all her happy glory. I rolled my eyes, I didn't care who helped me pick it out as long as I had someone there with me.

"Why?" Shilo said confused.

"Because I know you wont le me help you!" She pouted.

"You got that right." She laughed. "Well I'm going to go get ready."

"You should go change too honey." She looked down at me. "I'm sure Bill wouldn't mind you borrowing some clothes." I rolled my eyes and nodded. I got up and walked towards Bill's room.

I've never been excited to shop for dresses before.

Prom!

**:3**

**Well I doubt the prom chappy with be next, but the one after? Excited? : ) I am!**

**LYRICS :D**

**- **Drop your socks and grab your mini boom box, Do the pop lock body rock, Let the beat drop, Till your shell shocked, Baby what, tell me what you got, Rock hard like a sinner block!


	26. Somebody told me

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX **

**The song was Speakerphone- Kylie Minogue-I put a picture of Abby's Prom dress on my profile. Just to make visualizing it better, except its purple ;) I couldn't find a purple one lol. :3**

Alien

Chapter 26: Somebody Told Me

I couldn't believe I was standing in front the mirror in the dressing room, wearing the perfect prom dress. Granted it wasn't that much, but I immediately fell in love with it. It was gorgeous in my eyes, and I hoped the others would like it. Simone finally gave up on helping me pick out a dress when I just wouldn't cooperate. She is way worse than Bill will ever be when we're clothes shopping. That woman made me try on dozens of dresses no doubt. And got a little disappointed when I went for something so plain.

It came to a little above my knees and was purple. It had a black ribbon under the bust line with a black flower attached to the side. I put on a pair of heels that Simone picked out for me, it's the least I could do for her being so nice to me. I was actually stunning in this dress, I was hoping everyone would like it. And I haven't even put on my makeup or did my hair yet. I couldn't wait to go to the dance. Can you hear the excitement in my mind? I was seriously too hyped up for this.

After tying my heels I slowly opened the changing room door and exited the room. I had to see this dress in a all around mirrored room. Simone was clapping her hands excitedly. "Who knew something so simple could be so gorgeous on you Abbs!" She might have been more ecstatic than me. Her curly hair was bouncing all around her chubby face, making her look more like a teenager than ever.

I rolled my eyes and stepped on the stool in front of the mirrors, Simone by my side of course. She was inspecting the length, width and everything about this dress. We were giggling like school girls when I realized we were getting stared at from across the room, opposite from where we were. It was weird feeling to say the least. So maybe it was more paparazzi or something? Maybe. Because whoever it was, was totally talking to Tom and they kept motioning to us.

I ignored it and focused on Simone's words. She was oblivious to the whole scene that was happening. Maybe I should be too, I mean it cant be too weird can it? I shook my head and stepped off the stool. "Just take the dress off and change, and bring it up to the register, and I'll pay for it." She said happily. Damn happy people.

I shook me head, I didn't want her to pay for it, I'd feel too bad. _There's really no need Simone, I can pay._ I gave a hesitant smile.

She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. That's where Bill got it from. "Nonsense! I insist! And don't feel bad about it either. I've got my credit card all ready and everything." She smirked whipping it out. I gave a sigh and nodded my head in defeat. There was no winning with a Kaulitz around, especially a Kaulitz who loved to shop. Which happened to be their whole family. I knew Tom secretly loved to shop. So…

I hastily changed into my Bill-wear. As in a pair of his pants and a band tee. I swear this boy was really original. But I really wasn't complaining, I loved it. I loved him. I slid on my sandals and gently put the dress back in the bag I found it in. I held it by the coat hanger. Glad it was shorter than me, because I absolutely hated dragging clothes through the store. It was rude, and always got me horrid stares, and I hated people looking at me. It made me feel way too uncomfortable. But you all already knew that.

I loved almost tripping on my own two feet in the middle of the shoppe. It made me self conscience because it was so classy, and I just wasn't. I had to pass Tom talking to the stranger, and I just kept my cool, walking as slow as possible. The guy was wearing a black suit and it had purple embroidered into it. It was very nice looking if I don't say so myself. The guy on the other hand, I never really saw his face, he had on shades and had a bouquet of flowers under his nose. As if he was actually trying to hide himself or something. His hair was jet black and sort of puffed up, but slicked back. Kind of short too.

"Girl you looked fine in that dress…" Tom teased as I quickly walked by. I gave him the middle finger and I bumped into a dress rack. Hurt like hell. He just gave a small laugh, and I could see the strange guy hide a smile behind the flowers. He had a vague familiarity about him.

I quietly laid my dress down on the counter and Simone jumped from surprise. "You're super quiet aren't you?" She said, still shocked. She rolled her eyes. "Anyways, I cant wait to see you all prettied up for prom. Bill's taking you now right?" She said excitedly. I nodded and she clapped her hands, jumping up and down a bit. I visibly took a few steps away from her. "He picked out a matching suit and everything!" I rolled my eyes. How does he even know what my dress looks like in the first place?

"Will this be all for you ma'am?" The snooty cashier asked Simone. He was scrutinizing her, I hated people like him. He was bald, but he didn't see me running around and judging him for it. Now did he? Stupid dumb ramblings in my head.

"So far, I think so." She said in a clipped tone, placing my shoebox down along with it. I gave a small laugh, she didn't like him either. "Well what do you think about his suit?" Simone asked me. I rose my eyebrows at her. Who's? She was clearly finding me amusing, I don't think she thought I was being serious. I clearly was. "You look so confused honey…" She trailed off.

_Because I am? _I didn't know any other way to put it. I was genuinely confused.

She busted out laughing. I was about to get short with her and walk off, because I just wasn't in the damn mood. "You'll see soon enough I guess."

I rolled my eyes. _You should totally tell me now. _I crossed my arms and jutted a hip out. I've been spending too much time with Bill lately, and she gave a smile at my stance. She knew it was true. I couldn't help it, standing like this was sort of comfortable.

She laughed again. Remind me to never go shopping with Simone ever again. "Go stand with Tom, I'll be with you shortly." Her hair flew over her shoulders as she turned to the cashier quickly. Losing her patience with him.

I slouched over and walked slowly to Tom, my hip was still hurting from running into the dress rack. I let my eyes travel to where Shilo was, still fiddling with different dresses of all colors and lengths. I happily got out easy. Tom snorted as he took in my appearance, apparently everyone found something hilarious, and I had no clue what was going on. The stranger lifted his brows, and I felt like an idiot. A pure utter idiot. Why in the hell would he do that?

I took a quick step towards him and ripped off the sunglasses shielding his coal lined chocolate orbs. "Do you like it?" Bill's chipper voice asked me. Uncertainty was held in his voice, like he was expecting me to hate it or something. I could never hate Bill over something he did to his hair.

He gave me the huge bouquet of flowers and wrapped his arms around my waist, leaning down for a kiss. I pat his head, and gently combed my fingers through his hair. It looked oily and dirty, but I guess it was from the amount of product he had in it. He laughed at my expression, because I was clearly staring at him in wonder. _What did you do to your hair? _I finally mouthed.

Bill smirked as Tom walked away to a fuming Shilo. He became serious. "What you don't like it?" There was definite hurt in his voice.

I rolled my eyes, giving him a little peck on his lips. _Are you crazy? If you like it, then I like it too. _It was way too short for my liking, but I would grow to like it. I gave a great smile.

He gave a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you like it. Well it wasn't going to be this short, but my hairstylist didn't know what to do, because sleeping with hairspray in you hair and all that stuff," He blushed. "Is too hard to just brush out. Besides, I think it makes me look all grown up."

I smiled. He did look all grown up, it was quite adorable if you asked me. _How bad did it hurt?_

"Surprisingly it hardly hurt. Mostly because I didn't want to attempt to brush it, so I just told her to do what she could, then I made little improvises." He shrugged. "Besides the point," He switched subjects. "Did you really not know it was me?" I blushed and he smirked. I felt super embarrassed now. It wasn't my fault he looked like a complete stranger to me. But now I knew. "And you looked stunning in your prom dress, were going to look so amazing together." I laughed as he almost called us a couple.

"Whoa dude!" Shilo almost yelled, as she came up to Bill. She gave the cashier another reason to hate us. Oh well. Stupid prick. Shilo was at a loss for words, she was at a cross of ruffling his hair or teasing him about it. "You look all macho and tough now, you don't look like a chick anymore. How am I going to tease you now?" She huffed, and crossed her arms.

Bill flashed his pearly whites. "I guess you're going to have to find a new reason to tease me about something. And knowing you it wont take you that long." He looked ashamed, but I secretly knew he enjoyed Shilo picking on him. It gave him something to do.

She rolled her eyes. "You guys are going to look so fucking gorgeous tomorrow together."

Prom was tomorrow. And I was more excited than nervous. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, but that had to just be the nerves right?

XxX

I was finally at my house, getting ready for prom. My dad was rushing around the house in search of a camera, he was freaking out because I was actually going to prom. I refused to go to a salon to get my everything done up, because I could just do it on my own for free. I hated spending money when it wasn't even necessary, like now for instance. The only thing I had a problem with was doing my hair, which was done up in an up do. I know right? Abby Baker sporting an up do, what has the world come to? I didn't even feel self conscious. Just beautiful.

I was covered in sparkles, but not in the cheap and retarded way. It made me look shimmery and alive. My hair was twisting and turning in all kinds of directions on my head, my bang was straight, hanging by my face. I didn't want anyone to see me until it was time to meet over here, so I texted Simone, and she called and walked me through it. It was a little difficult because I couldn't reply to her. But in the end it worked out good. I honestly couldn't stop looking at my reflection. It didn't look like me at all. I looked like a horrible girl stuck in a lovely shining body.

I couldn't stop smiling.

The shoes on the other hand was going to be hell to walk in, I don't know how I was going to do it, but it was ok so far. I had my note pad tucked gently away in my clutch. I was going to get sick of carrying it I already know. Which is why Bill had pockets, he was probably going to end up carrying it before the night was over. He wouldn't mind, which is why I loved him. I truly did. He was my everything, I'm pretty sure without him here with me I wouldn't know what I would do. I'd probably already have been in a mental institution. No lie.

I didn't want to dwell on it, because today was going to be happy. It was going to be one of the happiest days of my life. I was feeling like a total school girl about all this, but I mean I couldn't help it. I was just that plain excited. "Abby!" My dad called from the living room, I heard the busy talking of other people. The guys must be here. Is it bad I started to feel a little shy? I even blushed. "Time to get a move on!" Clearly. I rolled my eyes.

I gave myself a final once over and slowly walked towards my door. I gathered a breath. "Abby!" My dad was in no mood for patience apparently. I huffed and threw open the door. All eyes were on me as I turned into the living room. Bill's mouth fell open and his eyes were adoring me.

"You are simply gorgeous!" Simone cooed wrapping her arms around me in a motherly embrace. My eyes started to tear up, I wish my mom could be here to see me going to prom. It's a big step in their child's life. I sniffled and carefully wiped away the unshed tears, I gave a smile. Showing I'm alright. I really was.

It was Bill's turn to come and hug me. "You look stunning. 'Lovely' don't even compare to how breath taxingly stunning you are." He whispered in my ear and all I could do was blush. "You doing ok? You look a little sad."

_I'm fine, I'm just excited and nervous. _I said back, because it wasn't a lie. I was nervous, and still had an uneasy feel in my stomach. But I was no doubt going to have to get over it. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. I could do this.

"Everyone gather around the front door!" My dad instructed. "Picture time." Everyone groaned, and it made me laugh big time. Snap. I'm pretty sure I was going to look off the wall crazy in this picture. Pictures went by painfully slow. Me and Bill had at least 20 together, he placed the corsage firmly around my wrist, placing a kiss on my hand. That made it as a picture.

Shilo was so beautiful, her long hair was in a side ponytail, and her dress flowed gracefully to the floor. It brought out her skin tone perfectly, making her glow. Her dress matched Tom's tie, a perfect deep blue. There was a happy tone in the air, and I was bathing in it, I didn't want it to end. Prom is where everything was going to be happier, and more fun. Some things only got better, and I hoped today was going to be one of them.

"My baby is growing up…" My dad cried. Oh damn. He was literally crying. I just stood there awkwardly as he flung his arms around me I gave him a tense pat on the back. Everyone found him hilarious though. Especially Simone.

She laughed a crazy laugh and tried to pull him off me. "Max honey, you'll ruin her dress…" She trailed off.

He wiped his eyes on his sleeves as he backed off. He gave me a once over, as if I was never going to be coming back or anything. Poor guy. "I'm sorry for being emotional, but ever since we moved here you've just been so happy, and I don't ever want that to end alright?" He smiled.

I nodded. I didn't feel like trying to form words because I was feeling a bit emotional too. My neck was damp with his tears, but I didn't mind, he was my loving father after all. I just felt bad for growing up, after a while he's going to be living in this house all alone. Happy. Happy. I exhaled.

"You guys better get going." Simone said happily, shoving us quickly out the door and we heard a lock.

"Someone's getting laid tonight." Tom sang at the top of his lungs, which was terrible. Shilo hit him in the stomach to shut him up. "Well it's the truth." I rolled my eyes.

Bill took the opportunity to wrap his arms around me from behind and we walked like that to the limo. "I feel like tonight is going to be an amazing night, how about you lovely." I just nodded as he opened the limo door for me. I've never been in one before, and it isn't all that either.

Georg and Gustav were acting gay, slapping each others butts and stuff. I mean what the hell? I'm glad me and Georg are cool with each other because he is like my big brother, and I needed him in my life. He's very protective and I enjoy that about him. "Time to crack open the champagne!" He sang like an idiot. Well I love my over protective idiot non brother.

"You don't want to get wasted before you even go to prom do you?" Gustav shot back, taking a seat next to me in the limo.

Georg rolled his eyes. "If I'm taking you as my date I'm going to need to be as drunk as possible!"

"Can you guys calm the hell down? I don't need a headache before we arrive." Shilo chimed in, in a small innocent voice.

The prom was going to be on top of the city's science center, I don't know if that's classy or what. But it was a long way away from our school. Me and Bill mainly talked through the ride. Shilo and Tom just made out the whole ride while Gustav and Georg was hitting the champagne and the other alcohol pretty hard. I didn't even attempt to stop them, because Gus seemed to be able to hold his liquor down pretty well. Georg on the other hand looked out of it and confused.

Bill was such a gentlemen, he held my hand and whispered sweet nothings in my ear the whole ride there. I couldn't help but to turn my head up and nibble on his ear. I didn't want to give him any hickies because that wouldn't look good for our official prom picture. I'm pretty sure the paparazzi and the news articles are going to somehow get a hold of those pictures.

My stomach clenched in surprise and nervousness as we pulled up to the giant science center. Bill let me exit first as we began our night of fun.

XxX

We've been having a good time for nearly two whole hours. I was sweaty but it didn't matter as long as I was having fun, and that I was doing. I was _dancing_ my little heart out. "I'm going to go get us some drinks ok?" Bill smiled sweetly down at me, giving me a brief kiss on the lips. I nodded and watched him bound his cute little self off, the crowd swallowed him. I sighed and searched for a seat to kick my shoes off. I was pretty sure I was going to die. Exaggeration? I think so.

When you think 'Prom at a Science Center' you'd probably think of some weird ass prom am I right? Well they're having this on the rooftop. The stars are shining bright, and there are beautiful lights hanging around the room. Synching to blink with the beat of the music. There were round tables placed to the sides of the dance floor, mainly if you wanted to sit down you'd have to go inside. But I got lucky and found a chair off to the side. It felt so amazing to finally get to sit down, I rubbed my feet. Unashamed of the weird stares I was collecting.

The air was so clear and crisp, it was amazing to breath it in. It was only a bit chilly but it went well with the hot and sweaty atmosphere. It felt good to finally be able to breath again. Bill was gone for a very long time, and I know he didn't lose me because I was basically sitting out in the open. Who couldn't see me? I sighed and decided to wait for a little bit more. Things didn't get better either. I received a text that made me want to die just then. No not Bill or anyone like that. It was from my dad.

Dad: You need to come home now!

I could feel the urgency in the text, I didn't need to hear him to know that he was freaking out. I was confused, I thought he was wanting me to go out and to have the time of my life? I collected myself. I was worried now, I knew I felt something off about today. But what?

Me: What's wrong?

Dad: Nothing. Just come home

Me: BS. I can tell. Just tell me so I wont freak out more than what I am.

It took him forever to reply, and every second was like a dagger was shoved into my heart.

Him: While me and Simone went out.. We came back and…

Me: ….. Just tell me already!

Him: Someone broke in.

I felt the color drain from my face, my stomach dropped. I knew something felt off about today. I calmed my breathing and replied that I'd be home as soon as possible. I felt tears in my eyes, but I pushed them back. I didn't know what I was crying for yet. For all we knew someone just broke in and they caught them before it was too late. Or on the other hand it could have been worse, what if they stole stuff and vandalized our whole house. Or worse. What if Simone or My dad got hurt? I needed Bill.

I strapped on my shoes and dug my notepad out of my clutch. I couldn't see him anywhere so I was going to have to go in the crowd and find familiar faces to ask them. I stopped short when I was my music buddy Shelby. She gave me a sweet smile as I walked over to her. She was stunning with her dark brown hair and red and black dress. She was a little taller than me, which I envied. I'm a short bitch. Her deep brown eyes held a questioning gaze.

_Have you seen Bill anywhere?_

She sighed. "I haven't." She gave an apologetic smile. "Tom just came over here and asked me. Want me to help you look?" Always the sweet caring girl. She tossed her drink back and fixed the front of her dress, she was about to follow me when I saw him. I faintly smiled and tugged gently on Shelby's hair and pointed. "Awh, wish I could have helped better." She smiled big and gave me a warm hug. Despite her not knowing why the hell I needed Bill her hug cheered me up and gave me a sense of calm.

We said our goodbyes and I strutted over towards Bill, who was hung up with reporters. I gulped, this was not going to be good. But I needed him and I needed to get out of here. "And there's your best friend now!" A familiar chubby black haired woman cheered to me. "We need a word. I know you don't speak, but if you write down your answers…" Bill cut her off.

"What's wrong?" He asked me with sympathy etched on his face. I was _not _telling him what happened here. I gave him a worried glance. "Right." He muttered. "Sorry, I have got to get going. My best friend needs me, and she's more important than some silly interview." He said smoothly, and we left them hanging on a word. I loved him for that. He took my worried face into calculation and led us inside down to an empty exhibit. He repeated himself. "What's wrong lovely."

I handed him over my cell phone. _Read my texts. _I said. My voice was catching in my throat, closing in on me and I didn't even talk. I realized this feeling, I think I was about to have a panic attack. I took calming breaths. It slowly faded into the back of my mind. Bill's mouth dropped open. "We have got to go." He said swiftly.

He called a cab, and we got out of this place like a bat out of hell…

**:3**

**-Well I want to say I'm sorry for the long wait. I hope it was worth it? I almost made it to 5,000. Hope that made up for it : ) Well, after this chapter nothing is going to be the same… which is good. Because its one step closer to the sequel. I do have one request though. Can we get my reviews up to 100 before my story ends? :D I'd appreciate it. Since im in a good mood, I shall give you all EASY lyrics ;)**

**LYRICS :D**

**- It's raining today! The blinds are shut its always the same! I tried all the games that they play, but they made me insane. Life on TV, its random it means nothing to me! I'm writing down what I cannot see, want to wake up in a dream…**


	27. Rooftops

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX, LivieLi**

**-The song was World Behind my Wall. Nuff said.**

Alien

Chapter 27: Rooftops

The taxi ride wasn't fast enough, and me and Bill sat in a tense silence. Too many thoughts were running through my head at the moment. He kept his arms fully around my rigid body, you'd think I'd calm down a bit, but I was on edge. I couldn't stop bouncing my legs around and I was worrying Bill's hand between my own. My palms were sweaty and my breathing was erratic. I bet the cab driver didn't know what to think about us. He clearly knew of Bill's stardom, which is why were riding for free.

Bill's hushed voice told me to take deep breaths and I did what he told me to. I leaned my head shakily on his chest, I had to keep calm. I didn't know what was going on yet, I didn't want to freak over something like if it was a misunderstanding or something. I didn't want to have a panic attack over nothing. I kept trying to convince myself that it was nothing, but there was a tugging in my heart that knew otherwise. What if something horrible happened? Deep breaths. I commanded myself. Why couldn't we be home already?

I didn't think for the rest of the ride to my house. Whenever my thoughts would stray I'd think about Bill and how I loved him but was too scared to say anything. I kept my emotions in check afterwards because I didn't need him to be freaking out over me. We left the prom in a daze, and I think Bill texted the rest of the guys to tell them what happened, and that we were going to leave. I mean they should still have a good time right? Besides I don't think I could handle too many people surrounding me at the moment. Right now, Bill was enough.

I was feeling exhausted but my nerves were too would up to sleep. And I was thinking that after tonight I wasn't going to be doing much sleeping either. Things like this scared the crap out of me. I scooted to my door as we turned on my street, I placed my hand on the handle. I was getting ready to bolt for the door. Then I stopped. There was an ambulance and a few police cars too. I gasped. What the hell happened? I don't think my dad told me the whole story when he texted me.

I felt Bill's warm embrace from behind. "Please let me go in with you, I don't want you to have to face any of this alone either…" I was feeling agitated by his presence and his constant worry for me, but I knew it was only because of the situation I was in. I nodded and flung open the car door and tugged Bill out rapidly. I was running as fast as I could in heels, towing Bill along with me. Poor guy was tripping over his feet in our dark front yard. The motion lights were activated when we made it to the porch.

The door was locked so I had to knock. "Please calm down." Bill's worried voice said to me.

_I cant calm down until I know what the hell is going on. _I told him as soon as the door was opened. A county cop was standing before me flashing his light in my face, isn't it obvious that it's light enough out here in the first place.

"Name?" He asked me. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, taking one of Bill's hands with mine. I wasn't in the mood, cop or not. I was scared and pissed. Not a good combination if you ask me.

"Her name is Abby." Bill said for me.

The cop looked amused. "Ah Kaulitz. I wasn't asking you, I was asking this young lady, why don't you let her answer for herself?" This cop was a cocky bitch.

"She doesn't talk sir." Bill bit back, I'm glad to see him not taking crap from a cop. Especially a dumb one like him, I mean clearly I live here. Why else would I be wanting to come into a house with cop cars surrounding it?

"Abby?" I heard my dad call from inside the house. I heard the hurt in his voice. Screw the cops, my dad was in need and I had to be there for him. I couldn't let him hurt. I pushed past the complaining cop, let go of Bill's hand and ran straight to my dad who was laying on the couch with paramedics looking his head over. It seemed to be a little swollen.

I shakily dug my notepad out of my clutch and wrote down my words. I was shaky and I hope that my writing was readable because I could honestly care less at the moment. _What happened are you ok?_

"Where's my mom?" Bill asked kneeling down beside me, next to my dads form on the couch. The paramedic went to grab him some ice.

My dad scoffed and rolled his eyes at Bill's lack of concern for himself, and it would have made me laugh if I wasn't so damn worried. "Simone is alright, she is talking to some cops in Abby's room."

Bill read my mind and cocked his eyebrows. "Abby's room? Why in the hell are they in there?"

My dad sighed and accepted the cold icepack from the paramedic. "There was an intruder, and I guess when me and Simone came back from my restaurant we startled him. So he bashed me in the head with a book." My dad said lamely. "I've been through so much and a damn book takes me out." He found it slightly funny. I rolled my eyes, leave it to my dad to make something serious into a joke.

_What about my room? _I wrote, more neat and bolded.

He sighed again, prolonging the inevitable. He was going to have to tell me either way, why not now? He gave a deeper sigh and it pissed me off, I gave him a firm smack on the arm. Dad or not, if I'm pissed or being held in suspense I will smack someone. "Well the thief broke in…" When he didn't elaborate I gave hand motions to tell him to hurry up and finish. "But the thing is that the intruder only went through your things…"

My face paled. "What do you mean only her things?" Bill said confused.

"As in whoever it was is interested in her." I hung my head. I didn't need to hear this, all it was doing was scaring the shit out of me. "I'm sorry sweetie," My dad placed a calming hand on mine but I moved it away. I didn't want to be touched. "The cops will probably question you soon too. Simone is letting the female cop she's talking to know that you don't talk. So just write down what's missing." I sighed, stolen stuff. Fucking great.

Simone was glassy eyed as she walked out of my room. She didn't really know what to do or say. "Abbs, go." She muttered out. I shakily got up and declined Bill's requests to come with me. This felt like something I had to do on my own.

I walked the short distance to my room and nearly blacked out. My window was busted open and glass was laying everywhere. Books and clothes were strewn everywhere, nothing felt right in this room. I was terrified to step foot in it. So scared that the cop had to coax me in, saying stuff like, 'We searched up and down, there isn't anyone in your room, let alone the house. Besides your dad saw them flee into the black of night.' after a while of awkwardly standing there I finally walked in.

"You have to do a full room check to see what's missing got that?" She gently asked me, but at the same time she had that scary police authority about her too. I gulped and nodded. I heard the crunch of glass as I stepped through on it with my heels. I shuddered. I felt beyond creeped out. The female cop gave me a moment, not leaving the room but allowing me to have my space. She took a seat in a chair in the corner of my room. That's when I realized what was missing. My messenger bag full of diaries and journals. Who in the fuck…

"What is it?" The officer was so close I could read her tags. Officer Remfield was her name. She smelled of coffee and cigarettes. When I wouldn't answer her or try to communicate with her in anyway she sighed. "I went to college for psychology, I can tell when you're hiding something and this is one of those times. What is it?" She took out her journal and paused waiting for me to tell her.

_My journals and diaries are gone. That's all I can see. _I was freaking out. Do you know what I wrote in those diaries? My therapists have told me to fill up journals and stuff to get my mind open and cleared. I wrote about my past. Bryan. Cutting. Depression. Wanting to kill myself. My mom. Andy. Basically my whole life story is in those journals and now they have been stolen? Who in the hell does stuff like that? What kind of thief preys on some teenage girls thoughts?

I rubbed my temples as she talked. "I want you to rejoin the rest of your family while I call in the report got that?" She asked firmly. I nodded. At least my window was boarded up for the meantime, and a security system was being installed as we speak. Either way it didn't make me feel an ounce safer in anyway possible.

"What happened sweetie?" My dad asked as the last of the cops and paramedics left. The would contact us if we had any leads. It was dead quiet, the only thing I could hear was our breathing. Bill was at my side in a heartbeat. I loved this boy.

_Whoever broke in took all my journals and diaries. _I wrote down and showed everyone. I didn't care now, whatever happened, happened and I was going to have to face the facts.

"You mean the ones the therapists made you use?" I nodded. "Who the hell is going to break in and steal diaries?" He fumed. I could tell he was still in pain, but at least he was caring for me. I loved that.

Bill looked sadly down to me. "Why should a few diaries matter?" I could have smacked him, but he was genuinely confused as to what they meant to me. Hell why did they mean a lot to me?

I sighed and sat down with him at the end of the couch. I placed our joined hands on my fluttering heart. _They matter because I used them to vent my feelings into. Like my whole life story is in there, and whoever took them is out to get me or something…_

Bill gave a faint smile. "No one is out to get you lovely." He didn't sound too sure of that himself either. He gave a shaky sigh. "Want me to stay tonight? Or do you want to come over. I really don't want to leave you alone. I'm really worried about you."

_Stay with me? _I sighed, placing my head onto his neck. I didn't want to leave my dad all alone and I think he gathered that. I knew he didn't like the idea of having to stay here since it was recently broken into and all, but still. He was going to stay for me. And my heart swelled. I knew I loved this boy. I wondered if he felt the same?

As it got later and later we had changed into sleep clothes. It felt weird to lend him something to wear since he was a mountain compared to myself. But he looked oh so adorable in an old pair of cat pajama pants and a plain black tank. I was just wearing short pajama shorts and a long sleeved purple shirt. I was cold. And it wasn't the air making me chilly, I was actually getting chills. I was going to be too scared to go to sleep and I was honestly scared out of my mind.

I sat down next to Bill on the couch, that's where we were sleeping, because I refused to sleep in my room. No. Way. In. Hell. Like it matters anyways, because I was just going to be paranoid through the whole night. Imagining hearing noises, seeing shadows. Because that's what my mind does to me while I'm having a crisis. It makes it worse for me.

"Are you ok?" Bill asked for my benefit, but we both knew the answer.

I shook my head as he pulled the cover over us, enveloping me in a blanket of warmth. _I think this incident has me shaken up a little too much. I'm not going to be able to sleep I already know, so I'm not going to try. The last thing I need right now are nightmares. _

He gave me a sympathetic look. "Want me to stay up with you, I honestly don't mind lovely."

_There is no way in hell that you'll be able to stay up all night and still go to school tomorrow. _I taunted. We both knew it was true. Plus if he by some magical chance did stay awake he would be really bitchy in the morning. I didn't need a bitchy Bill on my hands. I say that for everyone's best interest.

"Well I can always try huh? I don't want to leave my best friend up all night with nothing to do. Plus I don't want you to be scared."

I rolled my eyes. _Are you any scared right now?_

He shrugged. "I mean I'm not scared, but your house has that eerie feeling to it. As if someone has passed away and you're scared to do something because of it?" I nodded, it's exactly what I was feeling. He attacked my lips with a gentle yet hungry kiss that made me want him. I knew nothing was going to happen besides kissing tonight. Because in all honesty I don't think neither of us were up to it.

My dad was in his room and Simone was back at her house with the rest of the gang. I still cant get over the fact that Bill stayed here with me, he was such a sweetheart. It still didn't stop the fact that he fell asleep. While he snored away I felt oddly calm and at peace. I felt safe in his arms. But I still didn't sleep, I was way too wound up and stressed to allow my body any time for sleep. I felt like I was pumped on adrenaline or something, which made me feel wide awake. It sucked.

I counted down the minutes of the clock before tomorrow officially started…

XxX

The new schedules we got were full of crap. I was royally pissed off because the only classes I had with Bill were 4th and 5th period. I was feeling odd that art was my last class of the day, but that's the past and I had to come to terms that it'd never happen to me again. I had classes with the rest of the gang, everyone but Shilo, seeing as she's a bit younger than us. I don't know what I was going to do without Bill in all my classes. I was going to freak out.

I yawned after Bill kissed me goodbye outside of my first period class which happened to be math class. It was uneventful. After class Bill didn't pick me up because his class was on the opposite side of the building and I couldn't ask him to do that for me. I had PE class next and we had to run so many laps around the gym. Enough to equal a mile then the teacher let us quit. I had Georg and Tom in that class so things wouldn't get so bad. I doubt they'd want me on their team, because I was one of the most uncoordinated people in the world. I wouldn't dare wish myself on them.

Whoever gave me metal works for my 3rd period class should die. I mean really? What school is going to trust their students to take a torch and melt metal in the first place? Apparently German schools. We didn't do anything at the moment, we only learned the rules of the torch and all that weird ass jazz. Maybe I could drop this class and pick a different elective? I've never wanted to switch classes as much as I did right now. I had fluffy ole Gustav in metal works. We made a good team because both of us hardly talked. And he was super friendly.

I was excited to finally get to see Bill in History class. I was nodding off and sleeping by the time the class was over anyways. Plus we had assigned seats and Baker and Kaulitz don't really fit next to each other in the alphabet. We practically sat across the room from each other, it was like our schedules were trying to keep us from each other. I remember sleeping and faintly hearing the bell go off in my mind but I ignored it. I was glad Bill was there to wake me. That would have been embarrassing.

"You have to sleepover tonight alright?" Bill exclaimed on our way to art class. He pulled me off to the side of the lockers. "Will you please? Max can even come too. I just think you need some real sleep and you didn't get any last night." I nodded with a smile. "Really?"

_Why wouldn't I stay the night with you? You are pretty amazing you know. _I rolled my eyes and playfully stuck my tongue out at him. His eyes sparkled and he bent down and took my tongue in his mouth. PDA. We kissed for a while, lips moving in sync.

"Ew you guys are gross." I heard Tom say as he stopped next to us. He rolled his eyes. "You all have art next right?"

I nodded.

"Well they have a sub, so be happy. Sit with me alright?" Tom said in a hurry as the 45 second bell rang. Such a wuss.

We all walked to the art room arm in arm taking up most the hallway, making the students mad. Well who cares what they think, it's not like they haven't done this before. I plopped my tired ass down in the first empty chair I saw in art class and laid my head down. Bill too a seat next to me rubbing calming circles in my back and that's the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep. I welcomed the few minutes I got before being shaken awake.

"Abby?" Bill's soft voice cooed me out of my sleep, I turned my head and looked at him sweetly, giving him a questioning gaze. I oddly wasn't angry that he disturbed my sleeping pattern this time. "The sub wants your attention." He pointed to the side of me and I turned all the way around to act like the good student I really wasn't.

When my eyes landed on the familiar eyes of the torturous person that put me where I am today. I didn't freeze up. I didn't stare at him. I screamed and flipped backwards out of my chair, over Bill and dragging him down to the floor with me. Overturning both of our chairs. Kids were hiding giggles and hushed whispers filled the room.

He walked over to where me and my best friend laid with our limbs tangled. "Do we have a problem here?" My nightmare was here. Oh god.

Bryan was here.

In my school.

**:3**

**Wellll… ? :D**

**-I got 2 out within a few hours from each other, proud?**

**LYRICS : )**

**- We're standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out. This is all we got now, everybody scream your heart out! Never gonna regret watchin every sunset, we'll listen to your heartbeat, all the love that we found. :3**

**REVIEW, pretty please :]**


	28. Hate me today

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**-The song was called Rooftops… their name escapes me :P**

**-thank you guys for helping me break 100 reviews. It means a lot to me (: I want to tell you guys that school is starting for me really soon, so I'm trying my hardest to get the last of the chapters out :3 and if I cant then it may take me a while longer on updating.**

Alien

Chapter 28: Hate me today…

Run. Hide. Sit there. What was I going to do? I was sitting on the floor crumpled with Bill. I think he was staring at me with a confused hurt expression. Hell I would have too if I got knocked out of the chair and slammed on the floor with someone on top of me. I was staring at Bryan with huge eyes, I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't move on my own, or without someone directing me on what to do. I couldn't flee, because then others would think something was up. Which was true, but I didn't want them to pry inside my life. I couldn't handle all the people…

I looked around the room and to my relief no one was staring. Like they were giving the mental kid a moment to herself. In a sick twisted way I thank them, because if I had anymore eyes on me I might breakdown and cry. I couldn't cry in school or in front of Bryan nonetheless. Bryan gave a chuckle. "Uhm is everything okay down there?" He said, trying to fill the roll of the surprised substitute who has a mental girl in his class.

When I didn't answer or reply Bill came to my rescue. He bounded up off the ground and helped me up. He didn't know what to think of Bryan, he looked disgusted to say the least when I saw him glance at him. I plopped down in Bill's seat, wanting to be as far away from the murderer as possible. Bill gave me a worried glance. "Everything's fine." Bill said smoothly, pushing back his hair.

Bryan just shrugged and walked to the front of the class. "Hello everyone." He started off in a chipper mood. Bill slid in next to me and kept sending me stares, but I had my eyes glued to the desk. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone. I might cry. "My name is Mr. Davids, I'm going to be your teacher for the rest of the trimester. So I guess you can call it a long term sub." My face paled and I laid my head down on the blacktopped table. When 'Mr. Davids' was done with his speech he passed out assignment papers and went back to his desk.

This could not be happening. I tried to be discreet as I pulled out my cell phone. I had to text my dad, I had to make sure he was alright and Bryan didn't do anything to him. I don't know what I would do if I lost any more of my broken family. My dad is what's holding us together right now. I needed him more than anyone could possibly know. I sighed in relief as he texted back. I had to tell him about Bryan later.

I refrained myself from jumping out of my skin this time. I heard a chair being pulled up next to Tom, at the other part of the table. "Ok. I think we need to have a talk." I heard Bryan's voice say. "Excuse me?" He was trying to get my attention, but I didn't acknowledge him. "What's her name?" I heard him mumble to one of the twins.

"Her name is Abby." Bill said sternly. I knew what was going through that boys mind. Anyone who made me uneasy wasn't okay in his books. "She don't talk though, so don't waste your time in trying to get her to talk. It don't work." He sounded a bit rude on my part, but hell. It was the damn truth.

"Well Abby, as you know there is a no technology policy. I'm going to have to confiscate your phone." He said with that dumb teacher authority that he's always had. I didn't respond. Call security I really don't give a fuck. It would definitely get me away from him, and I wanted that. "Please?" I heard him whisper to someone.

"Abby?" It was Bill's quiet voice in my ear. "You have to raise up your head alright? He is our authority while the original teacher is out. Please? I don't want you to get in trouble over a phone." His voice sounded like he didn't want to say it. I stubbornly kept my hands wrapped tightly around my phone and my head plastered to the table. "Come on…" He said almost quietly.

I made sure the tears didn't fall as I blinked them away. I made sure that my breathing didn't get worse or shallow as I raised my head up and faced the monster. He gave a small smirk at my expression. "So are you going to hand over your phone?" He demanded in an almost shy tone. I shook my head. Definitely not. He rolled his eyes. "You have to communicate somehow. Don't you write your responses on paper?" I shook my head. He didn't need to know shit about me.

Bill spoke up then. "Can you just let her off with a warning? I mean since it's the beginning of a new class and stuff?" He said sweetly, it had to work because honestly, who could resist the charm of a Kaulitz?

Bryan shrugged. "Obviously she wasn't following the code of conduct, so she's going to have to stay after class or something and wash the desks and chalkboards." I tensed up. No way in hell was I going to stay after. But I had a pretty good idea at the moment, I would bolt for the door either way. "How would you feel about that?" I shrugged. He stood up and his hand grabbed onto my shoulder and I flinched away violently into Bill.

"Ok. I know you're authority and all but whatever the hell your problem is _has _to stop." Bill said protectively back, putting his arms around me. I think I was about to have a breakdown. I had to get out of here.

"I don't have a problem, but it looks like Abby does. Cat got your tongue?" He said sarcastically to me. And that's what got me, I had to go. I pushed violently away from Bill and sidestepped Bryan. If I touched him I think I was going to lose it even more. I slammed the classroom door, leaving all my stuff behind and a confused Bill. The echo bounced off everything in the quiet hallway, and students doing their work in the classrooms all looked up to see me. I rolled my eyes and took off.

I hid in the bathroom for the longest thinking over my options. I was rocking back and forth in the stalls, it was at least calming me down. I was beyond crying, because I was sure I was hyperventilating. Every time someone walked in the bathroom I had to hush myself because I didn't want them to get too nosey, I'm sure the girl crouched in a stall was a weird as it gets in this damn school. Tears fell again. Why in the hell did Bryan have to come back? I was finally becoming more comfortable with everything, and he had to ruin it. Fuck!

My phone was left in my seat in the art room, so I hope at least Bill picked it up before Bryan could get his grabby hands on it. I wanted to dig my nails into my arms, but I held the urge back, I wasn't going to let Bryan have that much control over my life ever again. And that's the truth. He's hurt me too much. I cant let him destroy it again. I wanted to live, and you don't hear that often from me. I wanted to live my life with Bill, he made things so much happier.

The bell rang for the final time today and I waited everything out. It was a good 20 minutes before I heard all the crowds of people die down, but it didn't matter I wanted to walk alone anyways. I had way too much on my mind. I needed to be alone, and like it mattered because Bill couldn't fix what was going on with me anyway. No matter mow much his pure soul helped me out, I could never fully heal. Bryan made sure of that in the past. I didn't want to open up, but I knew I was going to have to. Today or tomorrow. Could I commit to it? Could I open up? I knew I could talk to Bill. But would he care?

Of course he would and that's why I loved him.

I needed to leave, and get home as soon as possible so I could warn my dad about Bryan. Since all my stuff was left in class, I was hoping Bill would carry it home for me. I silently went to the door and prayed to god that I wasn't locked in the bathroom. They locked all doors here, and it was weird. I mean we need to go to the bathroom and I'm sure locks were just going to get in the way. I sighed in relief as the doors opened up, only getting stuck for a little bit. But all old doors did that here. You'd think they'd get it fixed, since this is a nice school. But they didn't.

When I peeked my head out, I made sure the halls were void of all Bryan. I took the long way to get out of the school just to make sure I avoided the art room at all costs. If I saw him again I don't know what I would do, I might attack him and I might have a seizure in front of him on the floor. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, and I already knew I did. He knew I kept my promise and didn't talk to anyone. He loved that. I saw it soaking up in his beady little eyes when Bill told him I didn't talk at all. I sniffled and wrapped my arms around myself.

I tried not to think but all my thoughts kept swarming back to Bryan. I bet he was the one who stole all my journals too, I wouldn't put it past him. He used to take little things from me all the time as remembrance. It wouldn't shock me if he still had some of the old crap he's taken. Mainly school stuff though, because I didn't really bring any trinkets from home to school. But it still chilled my bones to think about it, I was the star to all those scary movies where the teachers are obsessed with their students. I shuddered. That was me. More tears spilled over.

The light breeze hit my heated face as I walked out in the chilly air of Germany. I pulled my jacket tighter around my suddenly frigid body and took off at a fast walk to my house. I had an eerie feeling that the whole time someone was watching me and I didn't doubt it. I didn't want to think about it, but I couldn't help but to think. I was becoming paranoid and I didn't like it. Every step I took the more creeped out I got. All I needed was a hot shower and a warm bed, with Bill. I had to have him hold me though. He put everything at ease for me.

My breath hitched in my throat as a car drove past me. Definitely too paranoid. I looked over to Simone's house and I saw that they were home. I took a mental note, if my dad wasn't home I wasn't sticking around for him, I was immediately going to go over there. I sighed as I walked around back feeling like a ninja, I wasn't making any noise whatsoever, and I wanted to keep it that way. I was grateful for my quietness. I made it up the porch steps without freaking out too much.

I got into my house with ease. It gave me the chills, like I wasn't alone. I made a point that I was home by making a ton of noise in the process, if my dad was home he would hear me and come out. He had to know that Bryan is here. He was going to finish off what he started years ago. Tears dropped from my eyes, this couldn't be happening. I willed myself to be dreaming but I knew it was false, everything just felt so damn real, it had to be. I was scared of reality and it looks like my judgment day is finally here. I didn't want it to be, I mean couldn't I live in denial forever?

A little piece of paper on the counter caught my attention. My dad wasn't here, this wasn't a note from him. The handwriting was way too sloppy to be from my dad. I re read it three times before I fully comprehended what it meant. It was all Bryan's doing. Which means he was in my house. He invaded my privacy twice now. Who knows how long he's been spying on me? This may be his first attempt in making contact with me, the whole school thing was out of bounds though. He went too far there.

The note read:

_Abby,_

_As you already know, I'm back. I'm glad to see that you've kept your promise of not spilling the truth. But what I didn't expect is that you don't talk at all. Pity really, I always did love the sound of your sweet voice crying for help. It's such a turn on. Anyways, I'm disappointed that you ran today, we didn't get to catch up with each other. You will forever by my beautiful Abby, my favorite student. I cant wait to see you tomorrow, and maybe if I'm free, maybe I'll visit you during the night? Keep the doors unlocked. I miss you too._

_Love,_

_Bryan._

I nearly dropped the note, but I didn't, I crunched it in my hand and my breathing was getting heavier. I felt like the kitchen walls were closing in on me. I shouldn't be here, I didn't feel safe at all. I had to get out. I needed my dad, I needed Bill. Hell I needed help. Someone has to do something about Bryan, he needs to be put away for good. He deserves the death row. Hell give me a choice and I'll choose slow and painful punishment, by no other than myself.

I ran out of my door and didn't care about locking it back up. I felt like I was being suffocated. I ran around to the front of my house and through the Kaulitz yard. I was so freaked out I didn't bother knocking on the door. Any other time I would be fidgety and knock, because it felt too damn weird to just walk in. But I felt as if I was going to be snatched up at any second so I did myself a favor.

As soon as I slammed the door I locked it as many times as it could go. I let the tears go and I was surprised to say the least to see Tom sitting in his boxers munching on popcorn and watching TV. He didn't looked embarrassed at all. He rolled his eyes and flipped the channels. "Abby? Are you alright?" He asked, he was worried, I could tell. But he wasn't the one for emotions, and I didn't judge him on that.

I was going to risk it all. I cleared my throat. "I need Bill." I stated. My voice was a little scratchy because I haven't used it in forever. His face was priceless though, he dropped his popcorn at my words. I couldn't help it, I am so sick and tired of always keeping things bottled up inside of my for so long. I needed to get this stupid weight off my chest. I had to, or it was going to eat me alive. I was tired of letting Bryan hold so much over my head for so long.

"Uhh…" Tom trailed off, messily going through his covers, trying to get up off the couch. He was an awkward guy. "Bill!" He yelled slipping over the covers and almost face planting the floor.

I heard Bill mumbling from his room upstairs, he didn't sound too happy. His grouchy demeanor changed as soon as he saw me though. His expression looked worried, but underneath it all his face lit up. He was excited to see me. "Abby, what was wrong today? You were so upset around Mr. Davids… Will you tell me what…" I didn't give him a chance to finish before I sprinted into his arms. He gasped in shock, but held me tight. He always knew what I needed.

"Hey Bill…" Simone came into the room just then and stopped when she saw her son hugging me. A girl who was crying her eyes out in his shirt. "Abby?" She said hesitantly. "Are you going to be ok?"

I grabbed a handful of my hair and backed away from Bill. "No I'm not going to fucking be okay." I said sounding strained. The whole room was quiet.

"Did you just…" Bill trailed off, his face held shock and worry.

"Talk?" I finished for him. I felt like I was losing it. And to make it all better I was having a crisis in front of my best friend and his family. This wasn't good. I sat on the edge of their couch and brought my knees to my chest. "Call my dad." I said, my voice was scratchy and shaky.

Bill sat down next to me, and put a calming arm around my shaking body. "You know he's at work, I don't know if he could be able to come…"

"I don't care. I need to talk to him." I stated with more urgency. Simone bounded out the door with tears in her eyes, she was going to call him for me.

"Will you please tell me what's going on? I'm tired of seeing you hurt. You mean so much to me and it hurts that I cant help you…" Bill pleaded, his eyes had tears in them. He was about to cry because I was hurting.

"I'll tell you…"

I had to.

**:3**

**Well? I bet it was short huh? Sorry _ theres more to come ;) were nearing the end though. And I want to thank Backyard-Beleave-Queen for the lyrics :] one of my favorite songs ; )**

**LYRICS :D**

**- In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night, While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight, You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate, You made me compliment myself when it was way to hard to take. :')**

**REVIEW! :3**


	29. Love me or Hate me?

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX, LivieLi, Backyard-Beleave-Queen**

**-The song was Blue October- Hate Me**

Alien

Chapter 29: Love me or Hate me?

"You'll tell me?" Bill said in shock and wonder. I was too wound up about everything, I just nodded. I didn't know what was going to happen anymore. By me being here with the people I love was giving Bryan something to target. I wasn't going to be stupid and leave though, these people would protect me right? I was just so shaken up and scared, I didn't want Bryan to hurt anyone, because for once in my new life I was beginning to be happy.

"Why does he have to fuck up everything?" I cried into my knees. I was shaking and whimpering. Bill hugged me tighter to his chest. I couldn't let him see my face, I was embarrassed for having to break down in the first place. Everything just felt so good to let out, like I was crying for all the right reasons now. I'm still surprised no panic attacks have happened and they should most definitely stay away.

"Who sweetie?" Bill cooed. I'm pretty sure he didn't know what to think about my potty mouth. Because he'd better believe that it gets really bad. Especially when I'm scared or stressing. I just shook my head and leaned into Bill's side, letting his warmth sooth me. He sighed. "It's alright, you can tell me about it later if you'd like? I wont pressure you." I could hear the forgiveness in his sad little voice. I heard a door slam snap me out of my thinking.

Dad was here.

I hopped up and waited, fidgeting with my hands, they couldn't stay still long enough. When I saw the look on his face I knew that Simone didn't tell him I was talking. He looked too clueless and to be honest a little pissed off at the least. He shut the front door a little hard and the windows shook. He took a deep calming breath and gave me a hard stare. "You cant just call me home Abbs, do you know how hard it is to find a replacement really quick?" He palmed his face and gave a frustrated sigh. "This had better be good."

I sighed. "We have to talk." I said in a clipped 'I'm not playing around' tone.

His eyes bulged out of his head and he gave a great smile. "Oh my god! Are you finally talking?" He went from a shitty mood to a very happy one. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"Does this look like a face that's kidding?" I'm pretty sure I had on a poker face, bored looking with bloodshot wet eyes.

"Don't get all snippy with me damn." He shot back. I crossed my arms and gave him a stern look. "Ok, I get that your talking, but I have to get back to work. Malorie is taking over, and she's new." Malorie couldn't cook apparently. He started to back up towards the door.

I gasped and lunged for his arm. "We have to talk." I said again. "In private please?" What was up his butt today? I get that he was just called away from work and all but he has to hear me out. I had to make sure everyone was safe.

He sighed. "Ok, but make it quick." I rolled my eyes and gave Bill an apologetic look. I lead my dad into the kitchen and Simone cleared out, going to the living room with the boys. When we were alone he talked. "What? What is so important that you had to call me away from work for?" Why was he so mad at me? Tears welled in my eyes but I pushed them back. I inhaled to talk but he cut me off. "Please hurry the hell up! I haven't got time for whatever it is…"

"Well if you would listen to me I could tell you!" I yelled in his face. I was getting so fed up with him. A stinging sensation on the side of my cheek reminded me that I should never yell at an adult figure. He slapped me. I was in the wrong, I shouldn't have yelled at him. Tears ran down my cheeks.

His eyes held shock. "Abby… You know I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." He tried to put a comforting hand on my shoulder but I shrugged him away. "Fine. I'm fucking leaving." He took off towards the living room. I followed somewhat behind him, I couldn't let him go. The Kaulitz family looked really shocked. Like they knew what happened in the kitchen or something. My dad put his hand on the doorknob to flee from the tension.

I practically leapt forward and gave him a hug. "Daddy please don't leave me…" I whimpered into his side. I felt his resolve crumble as his muscles slackened and he wrapped his arms around me. I haven't hugged him in so many years, like given him a real daughter father hug. "I'm so sorry…" I trailed off. And somehow we both ended up crying hard onto one another.

"I'm sorry too baby." He stared into my eyes, wiping my eyes. "What is it you want to talk to me about. I wont get snippy I promise…" He gave a little laugh to let the tension out, too bad I was about to pack it back in the atmosphere.

I put both my hands on the side of his face and gave him a look of hopelessness and a look of grief. "Bryan…" I whispered. Not hearing my own voice, but hoping he could hear me perfectly. I don't think I could say it again right now. My voice was closing up in my throat. The tears were hot and sticky in my throat.

He gave me a look of confusion. "What do you mean?" He said slowly. I think little by little he was catching on, but not enough to really know what I was talking about. I sucked in a breath.

"He's back." I said quietly, I could feel the air leaving my body and I was beginning to get dizzy. He was holding me up, with his hands wrapped around the tops of my arms.

"Who's back dear?" I think he was only wanting my confirmation on this whole situation. He knew. He had to have, because his face was paling and he wasn't looking at me anymore. He finally understood.

"Please don't make me repeat it…" I whispered. I couldn't think about him right now or I may actually faint. I held out the note Bryan left in our kitchen. My dad started gripping tighter and tighter as he read it. His eyes were narrowed. He must had had to read it multiple times just like I had to.

He sucked in a breath. "Where the hell did you find this?"

"The kitchen. But before you get pissed, I might as well give you another reason…" He waited for me to finish. "He's our new art teacher too!" I exclaimed throwing my arms out in wild directions. I felt Bill's presence at my side immediately.

"You mean Mr. Davids? Or whatever his name was. Why did he have you in such a scared mood?" He looked thoughtful then rephrased himself. "I mean, I know I'm being a little nosey, but you're my best friend and well…" I nodded, I agreed. He's been here for me through anything, besides the Heather incident, but friends are bound to have their occasional arguments.

"Remember when I told you about my old art teacher?" I said a little far off. Before I could finish my dad cut me off.

"I'm going to call the police, Simone, Tom? Will you all come with me? I think I'm going to need you guys." My dad was in tears. Tom didn't object because he was clearly freaked out enough by me talking. But now the cops were involved. Now he's going to be out of it.

They left the room and Bill took my hand and led me to the couch. "Yeah, I remember him, the asshole."

I couldn't believe he didn't catch on fast enough. "Bill!" I said exasperatedly. "Bryan!" I threw up my hands. "Art teacher!" When he sat there clueless and looked at me like I was insane I finally decided to dumb it down for him. "Bryan is our art teacher at school. The long term sub. Understand?"

His face paled. "Oh Abby!" He said sadly, bringing my face to his chest. "I wish you would have told me sooner, so I could have done something to help save you…"

I scoffed. "There's nothing you could have done Bill. I don't know what I would have done if he were to hurt you, I think I might kill myself…"

"Please don't talk like that lovely…" He said sadly. "Why on earth is he here? What do you think?" He said.

"He's here for me." I stated. "The murderer needs to go to jail."

"Wait." Bill stopped me from my Bryan rant. "You say he's a murderer… What did he do?" He sounded like he didn't want to know, or as if he was scared for me.

I sighed. "I suppose its time to tell you huh? The reason for why I never talked and stuff." I kept both his hands in my lap, giving them a squeeze every now and them.

"Before you begin do you think you'll continue to talk?" He said, and I couldn't deny the excitement I heard in his voice.

I nodded. "I might as well."

"Ok, you may continue." He gave me a kiss on the lips.

I sighed, I brought up all the memories I have put away for the longest. I rifled through my thoughts, thinking about where to start off first. "It was a normal night, felt normal at least. And before you say something, this was a few months after I was out of the hospital for the Kiln burn." I sighed. "Anyways, my dad was working late, and everyone was asleep. I think it was planned for me to be asleep too, but I just couldn't doze off for some reason. I had the weirdest feeling about that night…"

*FLASHBACK*

I could have sworn I heard a noise, but I brushed it off thinking it was our faithful dog Perro. Original I know. Either way he's a wiener dog and I don't think he could take on an intruder to save our lives. He would whine in fear and scamper away. Plus if there was someone in the house I know he'd at least bark, he hates strangers. I went back to just staring at the ceiling when I heard the noise again. I was going to have to investigate. I tossed off my covers.

I regretted not changing out of my skinny jeans before I laid down. It was hard to move in them. I smelled smoke, I sure hope nothing was catching on fire. I threw open my door and Perro did a sissy hop and jumped into my arms, he was whining away. Something was wrong. I had to make sure Andy and mom were okay. I tucked him safely under my arm. I stopped in my tracks as no other than Bryan stepped out in front of me.

I gasped and backed up. "You're wasting your time. They're all dead." He said sadistically.

Tears grew in my eyes. Perro was trying to wriggle free but I wasn't putting him down. Especially since the house was burning. "You're wrong they aren't dead." I tried to move past him but he caught onto my arm and tossed my in my room.

"Bullshit they aren't. Don't you wonder where the smoke is coming from? I fucking slit their throats and I'm burning the evidence." He said harshly. "I only want you now."

"Why did you hurt them?" I cried. This couldn't be happening.

"I didn't hurt them babe." He said sickly. "I bet they barely felt anything as they chocked to death on their…"

"Stop!" I yelled. "Just stop. What the fuck do you want from me?" I cried, squeezing the life out of my dog. Poor guy.

"I have two choices Abby." He breathed in my ear. He pulled me up off the floor by my hair and held his knife to my throat. "You can come with me and be mine for the rest of your life, or…" He trailed off running his nose up the length of my jaw bone, smelling me, tasting me. I stifled a shudder, knowing it would only be worse for me. "Or you can stay here to burn with your pathetic family." He smirked. "Don't you think I haven't forgotten about your dad. I made sure that he's had a little brake problem…"

I gasped, trying to wriggle free from his death grip. "You didn't!" I exclaimed. All the while I was sweating more and more. The fire was closing in I bet.

He yanked my hair and I yelped. "Choose you fucking cunt!" He screamed in my ear.

"I'm not fucking going with you!" I yelled back equally mad. You should have seen the fire in his eyes. They were full of anger and betrayal, like he couldn't believe that I chose my poor broken family over him. Well he'd better believe it, because no way in hell would I ever choose that man. I'd rather die.

"Fine." He spat. "Have it your way." He tossed me and Perro down on the ground, I almost lost consciousness but I fought strongly against it. "Too bad I cant get a goodbye fuck in before I kill you." He sneered. He slammed the door and I heard him light the match that would be the end of me. I saw the fire peek out under my door. Bryan was definitely gone by now.

I was going to die.

I never thought that being burned alive was how I was going to die, and up until these last few moments I would say I was beginning to move on. Now Bryan had to come back and be that possessive teacher that he always was. Why didn't I see this coming? I'm sorry mom and Andy. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough, I'm sorry I didn't care about locking the doors. I'm sorry I attracted that sick bastard in the first place. I should have just killed myself when I had the chance. I should have saved my family.

The fire started to consume my door and Perro was in a barking frenzy, we were going to burn out together. I have definitely made an impact on everyone at my school, they knew about the Bryan molesting incident. It was in all the papers. As I lay here with the flames about to consume myself a quote ran through my head: _It's better to burn out than to fade away. _And that I did. I made myself known, but for all the wrong reasons. All of a sudden I was struck with a pang of worry.

What was my dad going to do?

That was for some reason enough to pull me out of my reverie. I couldn't leave my dad in this world alone, I had to be here to comfort him. I had to save myself even though I couldn't save my twin and mom. I forcefully threw my desk chair out the window and tossed Perro safely in the bushes, he took off at a fast wiener dog waddle down the street and out of sight. That's what I get for saving my dog, some faithful companion. I made sure a smile stayed off my face as I skillfully climbed out my glass chard strewn window. I had to get help.

We didn't live around many people, and the ones that were home were out of town on holiday or out on the town. I had to get out of here to find help. I was coughing like crazy, trying to get the smoke out of my lungs and the tears were falling freely, blurring my vision slightly. I wish I had my phone with me, it would save me the trouble. I ran towards my red Audi, thanking god when I had the keys hanging off my belt loop. I didn't find use of the seat belt as I put the car in drive and sped off towards town. My luck. Rain.

And then everything was in slow motion.

To my surprise Bryan was hiding out in the backseat of my car. And by the way, why the hell didn't I put a seatbelt on? "You fucking bitch, you're supposed to die!" He yelled jumping towards me, yanking my steering wheel out of my hands and sending us spiraling towards a ditch and a tree. We were both tugging on the wheel, and the rain was making it uglier. This was NOT supposed to happen. I kept asking myself what did I do to deserve this…

When my Audi came in contact with the tree I was launched out of my seat, cracking the side of my face on the windshield. I didn't die though. That's how the scar on the side of my face originated. I was bleeding out, my body had fallen over the steering wheel and on the dashboard, I was conscious of sound, but I couldn't feel anything, I was drifting away into the nothingness that was my life. Bryan however spoke before I could be grateful enough to die.

"Never talk about this incident, leave my name out of it. If the cops turn up at my door, I will be back for your dad. Fuck you ok? I'll fucking kill him and everyone that you come in contact with you pathetic emo bitch…" I'm sure there was more to his rant but I don't recall.

I was dying…

*END FLASHBACK*

Bill was in tears, he was literally holding onto me bawling his eyes out. I was shockingly holding on, no tears and no attacks. My dad was looking at me from down the hall, his eyes were shining like he was proud of me for finally being able to open up. No amount of money spent on therapists could do that. I just needed time and the right amount of support and I had plenty. For that I was thankful.

Bill silently traced the scar on my face with more force, like he was trying to dig into my past to get things to work out differently. I placed my hand on his and gave him the sweetest of expressions. I loved this boy. I used the pads of my thumbs to wipe away his tears and brought his head gently to my chest. I comforted him. I didn't know what to do, what should I say? Because it sure as hell isn't going to be alright. Instead I waited for him to speak to me first.

"Oh Abby…" He started off. We were the only ones left in the house, the guys went to the police station since the phone lines were currently down because it's storming. His pain filled chocolate eyes made contact with mine. "You're such a strong person, I don't know how you do it."

I playfully rolled my eyes, trying to lighten the dark sickly heavy mood. "I don't see how I did it either. If I didn't meet you I doubt I'd be alive right now."

He sighed. "Please don't talk like that…"

"Well it's the truth. I've tried killing myself, but no matter what I do I just keep waking up. In some ways I think I'm meant to be here, taking care of my dad. Being with you…" I blushed. "I was finally starting to realize how lucky I had it, compared to what else could have happened. Then Bryan waltzes back in my life, probably to finish up the job."

"I'm so sorry… you didn't deserve any of it you know. He was a sick, sick man. And thank you for finally opening up to me…" He was going to say something but decided against it and waited for me to talk.

I gave a sigh of relief. "I'm glad I finally opened up too, it was weighing down on me. I felt like my chest was going to explode from all the anxiety if I didn't tell someone what happened soon. And it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." I gave a faint smile.

"Safe to say for yourself, I'm a mess over here." He gave a small tear filled laugh.

I grabbed his face gently and brought it to my face and kissed him passionately. I needed to be close. I couldn't do it anymore, I needed him. I wanted him. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. He was my other half. He must have noticed my hesitation in the kiss. "What is it lovely?" He was breathing heavy, and it brought me joy that I could do that to him.

"You might not like me anymore because of this…" I trailed off because he cut me off.

He rolled his eyes. "I could never not like you. You mean to much to me." He gave me an assuring kiss on the lips.

"Well…" I hesitated. I took a good amount of air in my lungs. Now or never. "I love you Bill… I am totally head over heels in love with you…"

I just hoped he felt the same.

**:3**

**Well I hope the wait was worth it? : ) And like I said, I recently started school and I'm not going to be able to update until I get into the knack of being a Senior. It's so tiring! Lol. Review please :D Only a few more chappys to go. The lyrics are a throwback, Def Leppard inspired me since I saw them in concert Friday ;) Pretty amazing if I don't say so myself :]**

**LYRICS :D**

**- Hey shout, summertime blues, Jump up and down in my blue suede shoes, Hey kid, rock and roll, rock on! And where do we go from here, Which is the way that's clear. Still looking for that blue jean, baby queen Prettiest girl I ever seen…**

**REVIEW :D :D**


	30. Oh Billa!

**Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX, LivieLi, Backyard-Beleave-Queen, epic-failure-yeah-i-know (:**

**-David Essex- Rock On **

**-Sex. That is all. :]]**

Alien

Chapter 30: Oh Billa!

Bill had the most serious expression as he just stared me down. It was so awkward, I knew I shouldn't even have said anything. There was no way in hell that Bill freaking Kaulitz felt the same way about me. I mean who would? I just shared my life story with him, if anything he should be disgusted with how broken I am and how it's all my fault. I felt my eyes brimming with tears and all of a sudden they spilled over, staining my puffy cheeks. I was such a fool to believe anything different. Who would want silly ole me?

I threw my face into my hands and cried. Bill just sat there with a stone expression, when I had told him I loved him, he only sucked in a shocked breath. Why wasn't he comforting me? I must have made him hate me. Why wasn't he saying anything? I must have made him mad. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worst he got up and stormed off into the kitchen. Well he didn't actually storm off, but his stance looked like he was trying to be as quiet as possible. What the fuck?

I decided I might as well get up and follow him, no way in hell I was going to be left here all alone. Not after what I've been through today. I scurried to catch up to him and threw my hands around his wrist to catch my balance. I actually looked like I scared him for a bit. He looked completely startled. "What's…" I started off, but he shushed me loudly. I felt hurt, literally, I felt so rejected. My face fell and I dropped his hand. I couldn't do anything right.

He sighed. "We'll talk in a second, I just want to check out something. I think I heard a noise." He rolled his eyes, as a big flash of lightning made the power flicker on and then off. I gasped and held on to Bill tighter. He let out a soft chuckle, probably at my weird mood swings. We waited in complete silence to see if the power was going to stay off or by chance come back on. It didn't. "Probably rats… we get them sometimes when it rains badly."

We felt our way back to the safe confines of the couch. I felt a lot safer sitting down. I sighed. "Bill I'm sorry, if you don't feel that way back, it's ok. I cant force you to love me…" I trailed off, feeling more awkward than ever. Should I have just let the subject drop? No I couldn't have, I needed my answers.

He gave an almost silent laugh, I could only tell because he was shaking. And I assumed with laughter. I could hear the smile in his voice. "Oh Abby!" He sighed, finding my lips with his. He gently laid me down on the couch and hovered over me. I could vaguely see his face in the dim lit room. My eyes were slowly adjusting to things. I could see his loving gaze as he searched for my face. And in his gaze I could tell. I knew that he loved me back. I was so naïve to think anything of it. "I love you, you silly girl. I'm sorry for all these mixed signals I gave you…" He trailed off.

"Oh Billa…" I latched my arms around his neck and drew him in closer to me. I needed him. I may just be a horny little teenager, but I had a feeling things would be going to the next level tonight, and I was perfectly fine with that.

He breathed a deep sigh of lust all over my neck. "I fucking love that. I love hearing it roll of your tongue…" I rolled my eyes. I guess I wasn't the only horny one. "Billa…" He breathed. I rolled my eyes and lived in the moment. Pretty soon we could be together with nothing standing in our way. No Bryan. I blocked his image out of my head. My dad was going to take care of that, I didn't need to think of him anymore than necessary.

I think we both knew where our actions were leading us. And this time, nothing was going to stop us, I had a really good feeling about it. I felt like the right thing to do, I was ready. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those teenagers who only have sex for fun, besides what were about to do isn't sex. It's called making love. I cant believe Bill loves me back. I mean yeah I kind of knew, it just sounded like heaven to hear him say it with both of my ears. I would never grow tired of hearing it. And I loved him. I loved him more than anything, more than words could describe.

I was out of my shirt in an instant, I could see him pawing at my boobs more clearly since my eyes have adjusted to the dark room. He had a little smirk playing at the corner of his lips as he slid down my pants and instantly palming my wet core. I sighed in anticipation. I leaned up and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He flashed his pearly whites before his lips connected to mine. "You're killing me…" He groaned. I laughed. Of course I was. I worked at his belt and eventually he had to help me. His pants were just so damn tight…

Once when we were both in out underwear he suggested we both go up to his room, just in case our family came home while we were in the middle of doing it. He picked me up bridal style and I could feel him looking at my face. "You have the voice of an angel lovely." He spoke sweetly. "I'm finally glad I get to hear more of your voice. Once I heard it, I got my head out of my ass. I knew you were the one for me ever since I rushed you out of the bathroom in the airplane."

I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck. I gave him a peck on the lips. "Really?" I smirked. He has to be joking.

I could hear the eye roll. "I'm not joking. Remember when we bumped into you at the airport?" I hummed in response. I remembered it all too clearly, I was such a mess that day. "Well earlier on the plane ride, I had told Tomi and the gang about you. They teased me about having a crush." I could tell he was blushing already. "So when the flight landed I pointed you out to them and they bumped into you on purpose."

I laughed. "How sweet of them to tease you over me." I internally sighed. "Too bad I really was a mess that day. Coming to a new country to escape your past is never fun."

He laughed to lighten the mood. "You know I feel as if your life is straight out of the movies and I'm your prince charming."

"Well you are. You know you've saved me in more ways than you'll ever know. Your presence keeps me alive. I love you so fucking much Billa."

"I love you too." He sighed with his lips hastily on my mouth. "When did you start to like me?" He said cheerily.

"Hm, I know I've always thought you were cute, gorgeous, amazing…" I trailed off hoping he would get it. He would want me to go on, his ego is so huge. I rolled my eyes. "But I fell in love with you when I told you a little about my past, when I told you about the Kiln incident. I just didn't know if you felt the same about me or not."

He gave a tiny sigh. "I guess we were both a little naïve about the love we held for each other."

I gave him a passionate kiss, silencing his words. There was no use in bringing up the past and how stupid we both were. It was time to live in the past. And like we just picked up from earlier he quickly but carefully carried me up to his room, leaving our clothes behind. Because in all honestly I don't think either of us cared if we got caught making love. My dad wouldn't care I knew that for sure. Simone on the other hand might, but I don't really know.

He laid me as gently as he could down on his large comfortable bed. "I have one question for you though."

I sighed against his chest. "What's your question?" I replied sweetly.

"Besides the whole well you know incident, are you a virgin?" I think he really did want me to say that I was but I couldn't lie to him. I was too young to lose my virginity to Jaimie, but I don't regret it. I didn't regret it in the present when it happened, so why regret something that ever made you happy? That's how I see things.

"No I'm not." I said with a tinge of guilt in my voice. I did feel a little bad for the guy, because I'm pretty sure he was a virgin. "Are you a virgin Bill?"

"Yes." He stated shyly. "But that's ok I still love you." My heart melted right then and there. He was such a sweetheart. "I'm sorry if I'm not good…" I cut him off.

"Bill stop worrying and make love to me already." And that's all it took.

I shimmied out of my thong as he undid my bra, he un-shamefully pulled a condom out of his nightstand. I laid him down on the bed and tugged off his boxers, I wanted to put the condom on. It seemed like a good enough gesture. He also wanted me to be on top, so he can get used to the feel of things. Which didn't really matter to me, top or bottom is good for me. I slid the rubber all the way down his length and positioned myself on his tip. Just when I was about to ask him if he was ready, he gripped my waist and pulled me down his whole length. We both cried out.

He entered me with such force, it took a while to get used to the feeling, but after a while it adjusted and I started to rock myself on top of him. Bill's quiet husky moans mixed with my own loud ones filled his soundproof room. His large hands guided me along his shaft, he controlled what speed we went at, and for now it was a slow smooth motion. I bent down so I could bite at his poor already bruised neck. He didn't complain though, he was filled with so much ecstasy, pain couldn't register to him.

He turned us over very quickly so he was on top, I knew he was going to want to try it before it was all over with. He was pumping in and out of me with such speed. And I wasn't going to lie, I loved it fast. I started rubbing my clit as fast as I could, so we could both have our climax together. And that we did. Pretty soon our moans became fasted and louder, mixing in with each other. I saw lights behind my eyelids and by legs and hips began to twitch violently. I felt my self clenching on his cock, and soon enough he collapsed with himself still inside of me. We were both content, and breathing heavily. Could things get any better?

"Oh Abby, that was the best feeling in the whole world! And I'm glad you got to be my first." He said in an excited tired whisper, climbing off of me and ushering us both under his blanket. I was sweaty and tired, but it felt so good to be under the blanket with my lover next to me. My true love.

XxX

I woke up to the bright light of the brand new day piercing me in my swollen tired eyes. I rubbed the sleep away to see Bill laying facedown in the pillow with his arms gripping it in a death hold. For a moment I was jealous of that pillow, but I snapped out of it. No way was I going to be jealous of an inanimate object. I should be starting my day, I had to see what happened with my dad and Bryan. I really do hope that something was done with that filthy man. No way in hell was I up to being in tons of shit again. I just wanted him to be found and arrested. Nothing more nothing less. I really don't care as long as he's put away.

Climbing out of bed I decided to let Bill stay and rest up, he needed it. Poor guy. I must have put him through so much stress and I didn't even realize it. Since my clothes were downstairs I threw on some of his boxers and shorts. I took my time finding a shirt, because I wanted to avoid talking about Bryan for a little while longer. Why couldn't my day be peaceful for once? I sighed walking towards the door. After we take care of this sick son of a bitch I could finally live in peace with my new life. I would be really content.

I opened the door and I immediately heard the bustling of people doing their daily morning business. Only that it sounded a whole more like the whole damn town was here! Thank god Tom was coming out of the bathroom, I needed to talk to him about what's going on here. His face lit up when he finally saw that I was awake. "About time! Everyone is waiting for you to tell you the news…" He trailed off.

"What news?" I said back. I'll admit that I was a little scared, at the moment anything was possible.

"You'll figure out in a moment. But first…" He attacked me with a giant hug. I stood there awkwardly just patting his back. "You made my brother a man!" My eyes bulged, how in the hell did he figure out that? He laughed at my expression. "Think before you fuck. You guys left your clothes thrown all across the living room. Mom would have shit herself if she figured out! You're both lucky I picked up after you guys before she came in." He shook his head, his grin was huge.

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks I guess. Well I better get down there. I'm kind of scared."

He put a brotherly hand on my arm and gave it a good squeeze. "There isn't anything to be scared about. Trust me." He smiled. Wow, Tom was being oddly nice to me today and I didn't know why. "Well get going, I'm going to go wake up Bill and have a little brotherly talk with him." I rolled my eyes and continued down the stairs.

My dads cheerful face greeted me. "Oh Abby!" He picked me up and spun me around.

"What did I miss when I was asleep?" I checked the clock in the corner of the room and it read 8am, so I haven't been asleep long.

"Oh honey, you've missed tons, but don't feel bad, we all pulled all-nighters except for you kids."

I surveyed the living room, there was a ton of cops and authority there. It made me have a feeling of safe rush over me, knowing that I was going to be okay. Why in the world must there be so many people here? "Are you Miss Baker?" A woman police officer asked me in her 'All business' voice. I just nodded, I was nervous enough. "Follow me ma'am." So I did. I followed her into the kitchen, where she proceeded to kick everyone out, which included a very groggy Bill. He didn't know what was going on, but I gave him an assuring look.

"Are you going to explain to me what in the world is going on? And why there's so many people here?" I said sounding a little impatient, I was just tired of not knowing.

She gave me a soft smile and rifled through her big stack of papers she was holding. "I'm going to read to you some very good news for you. And I quote, 'This morning at 5:22am suspect 'Bryan' was found dead today, hanging by a rope in the schools art supply room. A note to the said victim, Abby Baker read only one word: Sorry.'" She finished the papers, giving me a weary look.

And I felt the tears fall from my eyes. That meant I never had to see him again. "Is this really happening?" I asked, you could hear the happy radiating off of my voice. The cop only nodded. I felt strongly compelled to give her a big hug, but I held back. For some reason I don't think cops like affection while they were in their uniforms?

"You may return to your family if you'd like? Were about to clear out soon so you guys can have more privacy." And then she surprised me by embracing me, it weirded me out big time. "Sorry…" She saw my shocked expression. "It's just that I read your file and I know what you've been through. And I just want to say that you are a strong person for finding your voice and living through this."

I gave her a sad smile. "Trust me it wasn't easy."

"Well it wouldn't be called life if it was labeled as easy now would it?" She gave me a half smile before she bounded out of the kitchen in her cop stride. Bill came in soon after with a giant smile on his face, they must have told him.

"Have you heard the news?" I asked happily skipping towards him and throwing myself into his arms.

"I have! And I'm so happy you wont have to live in fear anymore. You deserve so much more than what he put you through." Bill said kissing me.

"Thank you so much for being here for me, you are and always will be my best friend Billa." I kissed him back and blushed at the sight of his neck.

"Yeah, Tom gave me an earful about last night." He rolled his eyes. "I don't want to get into it." I didn't blame him, I wouldn't want to either. "But anyways I have a question for you." He smiled down at me.

My heart skipped a beat. "What is it?" I tried to smile, but I'm pretty sure it didn't meet my eyes.

"Don't worry lovely." He grabbed both my hands in his and brought them up to his mouth. "Will you be my girlfriend?"

I nodded excitedly.

"Good." He said. "Would you like to go out with me and the rest of the gang tomorrow?" The look on his face was pleading. Why in the world does he look so worried for?

"Of course I will." Instead of asking what was wrong I didn't damper the mood instead I asked, "Where are we going?"

He smiled at me. "We're going to be going on a triple date if you will." I laughed when I realized that he categorized Gus and Georg as a date. "And were just going to be hanging out and having as much fun as we possibly can until…" He trailed off.

"What do you mean _until._" I was so confused.

He sighed then put on a fake smile. "Forget I said anything, how about we go have some fun?"

Despite a nagging feeling I let that remark slide, I was so done with worrying I needed to have some fun.

For once in my life I felt absolutely free.

**:3**

**Like I said, sorry for the wait on these chapters. School is rough. I'm going to try to get the last chapter out soon, then start on the sequel sometime between a few weeks to a month afterwards. Any advice you'd like to give me? :] I know it was rushed, but I want you guys to have something :D**

**LYRICS : )**

**- You think you know me, And everything that you consider me, You think you know my name **

**REVIEW PLEASE :D**


	31. Author's Note :3

**Sorry for the Author's Note, I usually don't do this, but I have a serious question for you guys. I know some of my readers are disappointed in Chapter 30, and I sort of am. Show of hands of my readers who would like it if I re wrote it and brought Bryan back instead of killing him off quickly? By doing so my story could go on for a few more chapters? :] **

**-It's what you guys think, I want to keep you all happy :3**

**~Charlie, xXShadow-KissedXx**


	32. Do what now?

**-Bryan will remain dead. Sorry you guys who wanted him to come back, most of you preferred him dead. But if it makes you feel better, remember there will be a sequel! :D And I'm taking ideas for it, if I love your idea enough I WILL put it in a chapter. Don't hate me D': I'm just doing what I think is best.**

**- Reviewers: Shaker10, XxMyHedleyRomancexX, UnbreakablePoison, lpwriter4life, SaVed By MuSiC, Dramaholic74, SpoiledAngel1721, malec 4 eva, TokioNutter, Sakura Kiryuu, XxShelbyxKaulitzxX, LivieLi, Backyard-Beleave-Queen, epic-failure-yeah-i-know, Sarah**

**-Kerli- Fragile**

Alien

Chapter 31: Do what now?

The bright light pierced my eyes and I almost didn't want to wake up. I felt so amazing and warm underneath my covers. I felt safe sleeping in my own room for once. Nothing was ever going to make me live in fear like that ever again. I'm glad I came to terms with my past because now I know I have friends and family who always loved me in the first place. Why didn't I see that in the first place? I was clearly blinded by fear. You may call me silly or dumb for being scared, but you'll never know until your in my position. It's not fucking dumb.

I was going on my first official date with Bill as a couple, even though its only going to be a group date. We haven't came out to the reporters that we're dating, because Bill thinks they'll give me a hard time. I honestly prefer them to keep thinking I'm a mute, because they annoy the hell out of me. Actually being with Bill, not friends with benefits, but actually being his girlfriend made me so much happier in life. I'm so in love with that boy, and I cant wait to spend the rest of my life with him. Did I mention he makes me happy?

I reluctantly threw off my covers, the only thing making me get up is that I'm hanging out with my friends today. I took a quick shower and blow dried my hair, I didn't feel the need to do anything to it today, there was rain in the forecast. I even skipped out on my makeup, I was feeling that happy today. I bundled up though, not wanting to get sick. I put on a long sleeved purple thermal shirt and some black skinny jeans. I put one of Bill's jackets on over my clothes, and I instantly felt right.

When I look in the mirror I can tell my eyes don't look dull anymore, there is actually some spark of life in them. Granted in a couple of months would be the anniversary that all that crap happened to me, and yes it'll be rough. But I have Bill for that, and I know he'll comfort me. He's good at stuff like that.

Food sounded really good right now. I unlocked my phone and checked the time, I cant believe it was this early. And I got up without much of a struggle too, I must be excited to get this new day going. I put the kettle on the burner and got the powdered chocolate out because hot chocolate sounded really good with this weather. I could watch the sun rise this morning, something I rarely got to see. I cracked some eggs into a bowl and got to work on breakfast. Eggs, hash browns and a piece of toast would suffice. I didn't want to spoil my appetite for the rest of the day.

Munching silently, I didn't want to wake up my dad. He took the whole week off, and I took the whole week off of school. Letting the whole 'Why the fuck was the art teacher replacement found dead in the art supply room?' calm down. Gossip travels fast in a small school. Teachers are the worst of the gossipers though. And I wasn't feeling up to hearing about that all day anyways.

Grabbing my finally made hot chocolate I sprinkled a good amount of pure cane sugar in it, it was my favorite. I had to be sure I was awake for the rest of the day. Apparently it's going to be one of the best days in my life. Considering the day me and Bill made love for the first time and we confessed our love to each other will always be number one.

The wind was really chilly, and I'm glad I chose a lot of clothes. I sat on my front porch admiring the start of the new day. The chocolate tasted amazing running down my tongue, I could drink this on any cold day forever. I wanted to sit alone and enjoy the safe quiet, but that didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to. Georg bounded out of the front door of the Kaulitz house and started walking towards me. Aren't I the lucky one? He pulled his jacket tighter around himself and picked up his step, giving me a tiny look before sitting down next to me.

We sat there in comfortable silence, I waited for him to say something first, because I honestly didn't know what to say. Him or Shilo wasn't there yesterday, I'm surprised if either of them know I talk. Word travels fast so I don't doubt it. And in an instant Georg pulled me in for a hug. I was shocked at first but didn't resist, I missed him. He had been gone for a while, working things out with his mom, and Shilo was off doing the same thing.

"What was that for?" I asked lightly, sitting my warm drink off to the side of the porch.

He couldn't hide his gasp as he put his hair behind his ear and looked at me. "I thought Tom was just messing around, you really do talk now?" I nodded. "Good. You know, your voice suits you Kitten. It's quite gorgeous."

I rolled my eyes. "You are so corny. By the time its all over with you're going to hate me."

"Why's that?" He asked with a hidden smile. What was up with all these people loving the sound of my voice? It really wasn't that great.

"Well first off I'm super sarcastic." I snorted.

He laughed his throaty laugh, clapping his hands together. "Don't worry kitten, I grew up with Bill and Tom, you think I cant take sarcasm?"

"You have a good point there."

We sat without talking, just watching the beautiful colors explode over the sky, I could get used to this. I was waiting for him to ask me about everything that happened, I didn't really have to wait that long. That boy is nosey. "So what exactly happened? No one will tell me what's going on, all they said that you're talking." His expression was sad from being kept out of the circle. "Something had to have happened for you to talk right?"

I gave him a weary nod. "My past caught up with me." I said simply, I think I could talk about it now. I just didn't want to press it. But of course Georg was having none of that, so I may just tell him.

"Care to elaborate?" Why did everyone see me so damn interesting? He sighed. "Sorry, I don't want to sound so pushy, but I consider you one of my closest friends, I would really like to know why you never talked."

I did understand, and I didn't think he was being rude. He was simply being Georg. I rolled my eyes and decided to tell him. I gave him the short version of it because it was a long story and I didn't want Bryan to be on my mind anymore. "I had an art teacher who tortured me. He killed my mom and twin. Threatened me, so I chose not to talk, so I wouldn't be tempted for help because I knew he'd hurt anyone else that I loved. He recently came back, so I finally decided to talk after years of not talking." I sighed.

His eyebrows rose in alarm. "Is that where the scar on your stomach came from?" He asked slowly, testing the waters. I mean he deserved some answers, all my friends did. And for once in my life I trusted that my secrets were safe with them, friends didn't judge each other.

I nodded. "The bastard held me to a Kiln." He snickered at my usage of the cussword. "Well he killed his self recently, so I don't have to worry about him anymore. It's a long, long story Georg."

"It's ok Kitten, I'm just glad you're alright. And I love to hear your voice, it sweet like sugar." He pulled me close giving me a protective brotherly hug. He sighed. "You don't still hate me for 'cheating' on you with Heather do you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course not. You were drunk, so it's fine. Besides the fact me and Bill are dating now."

His face fell. Poor guy, I knew he still liked me. But despite the circumstances his face lit up, he was genuinely happy for me. "About time! You guys are so perfect for each other!" My face blushed a deep crimson. "Have you guys fucked yet?" He said randomly, he was just joking, but my hesitation proved it all. He gave a very surprised gasp. "You all didn't? Or did you?" He was oddly excited.

I quickly smacked him on the shoulder. "Listing you are a pervert!" I exclaimed.

He chuckled. "I was only joking around, but thanks for concluding that for me I guess." He was embarrassing me. The front door of the Kaulitz home banged open and out sprung Shilo, she practically ran towards me. She was going to freeze to death! She wore no shoes, and was only was only wearing a tank top and pants. Her loss.

"Oh Abby!" She exclaimed, pulling me away from Georg into a giant hug. "I missed you so much, and I'm so sorry. I heard about everything…"

Georg cut her off in mid sentence. "How did you get to know before me?" He said sadly with some attitude.

She disregarded him and kept talking to me. Looks like she was trying to start off on a good day, avoiding fights with Georg. "Are you really talking?" She asked me in wonder. I nodded. She held me at arms length and gave me an incredulous look. "Well? Say something!"

"What do you want me to say?" I asked shyly back.

She actually squealed. "You are so adorable!" She hopped up and down and threw her arms around me again. She was having a total teenybopper moment.

"What kind of crack are you on?" I jokingly asked.

She happily rolled her eyes. "Oh and I heard you and Bill are together?" I gave a nod. "Congratulations." She smiled big at me.

I rolled my eyes. "You should go get a jacket on or something, it's too cold to be walking around like that, you'll catch a cold." I said sympathetically.

"I just came out here to see you, since I missed you so much. We're going to have so much fun with the guys today trust me. Well I think I'll be going. I'll even take Georg away from you, he must be annoying." She yanked him up by his wrist and he looked pissed off at her for ruining our talking time.

I sighed. "Georg isn't annoying, he's really good company if you ask me."

"Awh Kitten you're so sweet." He cooed, ruffling my hair. I humpfed and crossed my arms around my chest. "I really should be going, we have to get ready for tomorrow and everything that's going on." Shilo elbowed him hard in the side and he yelped.

Okay, something was wrong here. "What are you guys not telling me?" I asked, confused.

"What are you talking about?" Georg played dumb.

"You know you're a bad liar." I told him and he just shrugged.

"Don't worry about it." Shilo said happily, pulling him away back to their house.

All I could do was worry.

XxX

Eventually I did put the worry behind me, because Bill would tell me what's going on right? He had to. There was a knock on my door in the afternoon around 12, I was greeted with a mischievous looking Tom. I rolled my eyes and let the rest of the guys in. Bill's eyes lit up as he almost tackled me with a giant bone crunching hug.

"Did you miss me or something?" I asked, barely able to breath. But I didn't mind because I loved being as close to him as possible.

"Well of course I missed you silly." He pulled me in for a kiss, and we were definitely not shy in front of our friends. I leaned into the kiss deepening it, our tongues danced with each other, there was the occasional sound of his tongue ring hitting my teeth, but besides that they let us enjoy our moment. We pulled away giving each other a loving gaze.

Shilo broke up the quiet. "Can we please get this day started?" She sang happily. And then we did.

Bill took me to a very beautiful park, and I would have never known it was here if it wasn't for him. It was huge, and nothing but green grass and beautiful trees and flowers surrounding the perimeter. It if wasn't so freaking cold it would have been absolutely perfect. But I wasn't complaining, anyplace I spent with Bill was classified as perfect. There was a giant fountain in the center of the park, gushing out water from its statue of a woman and her kids. It had to be a memorial of some sort.

The playground was off to the side surrounded in those rubber woodchips, so the kids can actually run around without getting a splinter. I bet they burned though when the sun hit them directly, maybe they hurt worse than the blacktop. Who knows. I glanced around at the other happy people with their children, dogs, family or loved ones. This was such a happy and peaceful place. I'm glad I finally found out about it, I can see myself coming here every other day, just relaxing. Without having to be in fear.

I huddled closer to Bill, we were just laughing and talking about the most random things in the world. And I preferred it that way. Bill had a ton of body heat despite his tiny figure, I'm glad he kept pulling me closer into his side. "Why is it so cold out here?" I complained for the billionth time.

"Maybe because its almost Christmas and well it's usually cold around then, I think they call it winter?" He said in a playful tone.

"Smartass." I said back laughing. "You never cease to put a smile on my face Billa. That's why I love you." I pulled him down for a kiss.

"And I love you too lovely." He said, brushing my winded hair out of my numb face. "I hope you don't catch a cold because of me, I'd feel so bad."

I laughed. "As long as you got sick too, then I wouldn't be mad at you." He rolled his eyes. Then a movement caught my eyes from behind his tall self. I busted out in hysterics. "Look at Gustav!" I pointed behind him.

Bill shook his head. "They are idiots. When they get the flu there going to wonder why." He said in an ashamed tone. Gustav, Tom and Georg were all pushing each other around the giant fountain. What kind of game is that? Whoever gets hyperthermia first wins? Wins what exactly death? I wanted to laugh at my own inside ramblings but I didn't want to come off as super crazy. Plus it hurt to talk to much because of the cold.

"What are they doing exactly?" Did I even want to know? I don't really think so.

Bill laughed. "They are being complete idiots. Do you see Shilo just standing there with her camera? Our friends aren't right in the head."

We stood from afar just watching the hilarious sight. I guess they were seeing who would fall in the water first. Which is retarded because I kid you not it wont be raining anytime soon, if anything it would be snow. What weatherman tells us rain? They should start looking for a new job. I rolled my eyes as I figured out what Shilo was about to do.

"Do you see her?" Bill exclaimed.

"Oh I see her all right." I said back. She was sneaking up on them from behind, she was going to try to just push them all in to shut them up. The people around up sure didn't look like they liked the noise all of them were making. Hell they were even giving me sort of a headache. I averted my attention back to them as I heard her girly scream amongst the rest of their screams. Tom's hands were around her waist as all four of them tumbled down into the fountain water. They all broke the surface around the same time. Looking a bit pale, then out of nowhere they busted out laughing.

I rolled my eyes.

"Want to go get some ice cream?" Bill asked sweetly.

I declined. "I cant eat ice cream in this weather, it's too cold. I'd rather prefer something hot to eat or drink."

He raised his brows. "But you cant eat yourself, that's my job."

I stopped and looked up at him. He did _not _just say what I think he did. I laughed. "You are something else." I said looking into his chocolate brown coal lined eyes. They mesmerized me. And I didn't mind wanting to wake up every morning to him glued to my side, because have you seen that boy sleep? I sure have. It isn't pretty!

"You wouldn't have it any other way." He stated. "What else do you want to do then lovely? I'm really sorry for bringing you out in the weather I know how much you hate the cold."

I shrugged. "I honestly don't mind as long as you're here with me, you keep me warm enough."

"No I don't, look at you face, it looks like it's about to fall off."

"Uhm thanks?" I said. I knew it wasn't a compliment but I just wasn't in the mood to put up a fight. I hated weather like this.

We ended up going to an inside Flea Market. Only because Georg wanted to show Gustav the new wrestling arena they had just installed a couple of weeks ago. Tom and Shilo broke off into separate directions that we went. They wanted to look at food, since they weren't thinking about eating before leaving into the harsh cold of Germany.

Bill led me around to all the little tables and booths set up, but I'm just glad they had heat. They had some really weird things here, an Indian shop with cheap trinkets and over expensive prices. I loved looking at the earrings even though my ears weren't pierced, they were just so pretty. They had some necklaces and bracelets too, all in a variety of colors. They had everything to a mini grocery store to animals. They were selling off cows and horses, that were too old to do anything else in their lives.

"Turn around and close your eyes." Bill said to me.

"Uhm why?" I asked with a curious tint to my voice, that was highly odd of him to ask me to do something like that. But I complied. I'd do anything for that boy.

I felt him press something onto the back of my neck after pulling up my hair. "Okay done." I turned around and he was smiling a great big smile. I looked down to see what he did and there was half of a silver heart hanging from my neck. I quirked my eyebrow at him. He held out the other half in front of me. "This is my half, and that's your half. It symbolizes that we're never fully complete unless were together." He put the two pieces together before fastening it around his neck. "I love you." He said sweetly, kissing me on the tip of my still frozen nose.

"I love you too."

XxX

We were sitting in my room at the end of the day with a cup of hot chocolate in each of our hands. "We have to talk." Bill said grimly and he immediately had my attention.

"What is it?" Was something wrong? I was alarmed.

He gave a faint smile. "It's nothing too bad…" He trialed off and I waited patiently on him so carry on. He sighed. "I feel bad enough having to tell you…"

"Just tell me already." I said sadly.

"As you know I'm in Tokio Hotel…"

I cut him off. "Please just skip to it, I don't need to hear the pre 'soften her up for the worst' speech." I said, carefully sitting my mug off to the side on my nightstand.

"I'm going on tour." He said, barely audible.

I gasped. "I suppose I knew it was coming all along huh?" I repressed the urge to cry like a baby. Because all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. I didn't want him to leave me, I wanted him to stay right here next to me. "How long?" I asked.

"The tour will be for a year, then we break for a couple of months and so on." I had a feeling the tour was going to be a lot longer, he was just making me feel better by giving me a smaller number. Which I was grateful for.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow night." He said sadly.

I ran my fingers nervously through my hair. "Take me with you?" I tried.

He smiled, taking my fidgety hands in his. "I've talked to your dad about it and he don't want you missing anymore school, he wants you to get a good education. And for that matter so do I. I don't want to be the reason you never go to college and so on."

I sighed. "Please? I don't want to be without you. Ever since I've been here you have been the one to get me though _everything _I don't know what I'm going to do without you, for a year! Do you know how long a year is?" I wiped away the tears that fell with my over reactance. Was I?

"We can talk everyday on the phone, I can text you, email you, Video chat you. In a sense I can still see you everyday that I'm not busy." He tried to cheer me up. I knew this was his job, being an international rockstar. I knew t was coming, but why did I feel so unprepared? Its like I was letting go of him sooner than I thought. "And no matter what happens, no matter how far I travel, I want to stay as your boyfriend." That peaked my interest.

"Of course." I said a little happier. I mean it was going to happen one way or another, I might as well let him go without sounding like a needy girlfriend. I didn't want to be clingy. "I guess it wont be too bad, I'll still have Shilo."

He looked sad. "Actually you wont."

"Why the hell wont I?" I didn't mean to snap, but I was sort of a wreck right now.

"She's moving away to her aunts house." He said with sympathy for me having to be alone.

"Where does her aunt live?" I said, fearing the answer.

"California…"

I sighed. "I'm going to miss you every second of the day."

"And I'll miss you too."

And then we kissed.

**:3**

**-I hope you guys liked it!**

**The sequel will be up soon, so I hope you guys look for it and read it! Anyways, like I said, you guys can start inboxing me ideas if you all want? I shall try to do my best to fit it in my story. And no not everything will be happy in the sequel, there will be a ton of sad Abby, and there is so much in store. Far from happy :D**

**-No lyrics because no one really even guesses xD**

**REVIEW **


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